Courtship GAD by Dr. Leah S. Corpuz

For COURTSHIP

ByLeah Solmerin Corpuz, Ph.D.

09173127132

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ccept yourself

So…You are ready to get into a relationship?

But, First…Know that your most

important relationship is that with yourself.

Having wrong attitudes about ourselves affect every other relationship in our life.

- Bill Gothard

ccept yourself

Some evidence of self-rejection• Excessive shyness• Over-attention on clothes• Neglect of personal care• Bullying• Self-criticism• Attempting to imitate someone

admired• Awkward attempts to hide

unchangeable defects• Extravagance (or wanting to

have what others have)• Flirting with the opposite sex

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ccept yourself

ow to your authority

ow to your authority

Activity: “People in my Life”

Objective: To make the student appreciate the people that play vital role in his/her life.

Rationale: The student has to understand that before getting into a new relationship, he/she needs to value the people that are already in his/her life.

Procedure:1. Student folds a whole sheet of paper into ten boxes, and writes in each box the name of the top-ten persons in his/her life. Jose-Father Maria-mother Anna-Sister Liza-Best

friendEtc.

etc etc etc etc etc

ow to your authority

Abnormal Social Development in Teen-agers

Communication breakdown

Stubbornness

Open rebellion

Wrong friends

Ungratefulness

search for excitement

or suicidal depression

Condemnation

of others

Defense ofsensuality

ow to your authority

The way a girl responded to theauthority of her father tends to be the way

she will respond to the authority of her husband.

The way a boy treated his mother tends to be the way he will treat his wife.

ow to your authority

ccept yourself

ow to your authorityombat boredom

ombat boredom

Boredom

curiosity experimentation

Sensual focus

violation of

conscience

rationaliza

tion

Moral Impurity

Redefiningmorality

Lasciviousnessdefrauding your dateunwanted pregnancy

no preparation in starting a familymarital conflicts

separation

=

rebellion

ombat boredom

Journey to a Healthy/Lasting

RelationshipAcquaintanc

eship

Casual Friendship

Close Friendship

DatingCourtshipIntimate

Friendship

Marriage

ombat boredom

Based on occasional contacts

Step 1: Acquaintanceship

Can ask general questions: public information

Conversation, makes the rhythm

Conversation now begins

(my number – other’s number)

Activity/Icebreaker: CONVERSATION

A healthy relationship starts from a friendly

conversation…

That comes as a result ofattentive listening

through turn-taking skills.

Value to teach:

Based on common interest, activities, and concerns

Can ask specific questions: opinions, ideas, wishes, and

goals.

Step 2: Casual Friendship

Teacher distributes bingo sheets.

Activity/Icebreaker: Human Bingo

Do you enjoy reading novels?_______________

Do you like sports/ball games?________________

Have you been to another country?________________

etc etc Etc

etc etc etc

Instructions:1. Student goes around, asks ONE QUESTION to ONE CLASSMATE. 2. If the classmate’s answer is YES, he/she writes the name of that classmate

below the question.3. A student who is able to form a line (vertical, horizontal, diagonal) shouts

bingo.

1. A strong relationship is based on honesty/truthfulness.

2. There are no shortcuts in lasting relationships.

Value to teach:

Based on mutual life goals

Has the freedom to suggest mutual projects toward

reaching life goals.

Step 3: Close Friendship

Done at the right time and right circumstances

Dating (from among your close friends)

This is not just about a boy and a girl meeting at a certain

place.

Initially, should be a group date.

Basic purpose: for a person to discover his/her own personality, and to discover how to deal with

peopleof different personalities.

Dating (from among your close friends)

From the group dates, a person can discern who among his/her friends does

he/she feel most comfortable with.

Group date is not the same as dating around.

Only then can that person have an exclusive dating with another.

Some activities in group dates:1. Ball games, word/board games2. Cook-out3. Eating out together4. Other activities that will bring

out your true self, and the best in you

Dating (from among your close friends)

How old should a person bebefore starting to date exclusively?

Exclusive Dating

1. When you are aware of both the benefits and dangers of dating.

2. When you have both worked out a set of dating standards.

3. When you have purposed that you will not lower these standards, even if it means losing dates.

Benefits:1. Helps you discover your

own likes, dislikes, interests, etc.

2. Helps you discern the kind of person whom you enjoy to be with (fits your own personality)

3. Can develop genuine friendships

Dangers1. When either (or both) is self-

centered and has no genuine concern for the other

2. When one (or both) is pushy and manipulative

3. When physical attraction and sensuality have become the primary reasons for dating

Basic standards1. Respect for each other's

thoughts and feelings2. Knowledge and permission

of parents/guardian3. Activities that will bring

out the best in both of you4. Never in dark and

secluded places where you will be tempted to defraud each other.

To evaluate dating standards, we must

determine how they will affect a future marriage--

to build or destroy it.

Exclusive Dating

is when a male and a female feel that from all their close friends (and the people they have dated in the past), there is one he/she likes to

get to know more on another level.

Courtship

Ideally, two people who decide to go on to the courtship stage should have had a friendship that

is tested by time and trials.

this stage in a couple's relationship usually precedes engagement.

Based on commitment to thedevelopment of each other's character

Intimate Friendship

Freedom to correct each other-- in honesty but with discretion

BUT, this is not the same as physical intimacythat must only happen after marriage

TRUE LOVE WAITS.

For COURTSHIP

ByLeah Solmerin Corpuz, Ph.D.

09173127132