Co parenting walking the walk with your ex session 2 of 4

Kevin Karlson JD PhD

Guest Speaker

Keep the focus on you Avoid complaining about former spouses Save flirting and dating for after the class is

completed in 4 weeks

Check In- Homework; gratitude Kim’s testimony Spiritual warfare in co-parenting Tools Simulations

Format/agenda for each session:

5 minute warm up/check in/introductions exercise in pairs

2 pairs--one men, one women get together in a group of 4 for the simulations

Mini-lecture on these topics: (one per session)

-communicating effectively, -spiritual warfare -dealing with boundaries, extended families -mom’s house, dad’s house issues

The simulation format: (each person plays each role one time) -one dad, -one mom, -dad's coach, -mom's coach;

Set up problem fact situation and describe the job for each role along with the challenge for the simulation;

-run simulation for 5-7 minutes, then -debrief in the group, coaches comment to each "parent", -discuss lessons learned, opportunities for improvement

*change roles, run simulation again (coaches from 1st round are "parents" this round) *report out to big group from each group of 4

lessons learned comments feedback homework Closing

Volatile relationship with Ex Shift (Biblical principles applied) Walk-Out (daily application of principles) Relationship healed

General Principles We wrestle not with flesh and blood but…

▪ Ephesians 6:12

All our thoughts are not our own▪ Matthew 16:22-23

Take every thought captive▪ 2 Corinthians 10:5

Separate them from the evil within▪ Romans 7: 15-17

Forgiveness; its not optional▪ Luke 23:34 Matthew 6:14-15

Recognizing the spirits at work

pride

un-forgiveness

bitterness

accusation

control/domination

murder of the tongue

Recognize the spirit(s) in you Repent Receive forgiveness

THEN

Respond in love Say “No” to the flashcards of past wrongs Resist when they return

▪ James 4:7

When you stumble

Repent

Forgive yourself, you’re only human

Pray

Start over

Pray for your “ex” every day; in front your kids

Ask God to bless them

Your spouse may never change Your changed response to every interaction

will change the relationship over time Be diligent, patient, believe that God will

move

Re-run the last disagreement between you and your ex in your head

Identify the spirits in each of you Pray; repent; practice doing it different in

your head Now set up the scene and practice doing it

differently Coaches; stop them when a spirit shows up

The simulations: (each person plays each role one time) one dad, one mom, dad's coach, mom's coach;

Run simulation for 5-7 minutes, then Debrief in the group, coaches comment to each "parent" Discuss lessons learned, opportunities for improvement

Change roles, run simulation again (coaches from 1st round are "parents" this round)

Report out to big group from each group of 4

lessons learned comments feedback homework Closing

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