Chapter 4 Listening & Talking to Your Child
Post on 22-Feb-2016
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CHAPTER 4LISTENING &
TALKING TO YOUR CHILD
COMMUNICATIONIs the
To most relationships
LISTENING TO YOUR CHILD
HOW TO BE A GOOD LISTENER
Why is listening for feelings important?
UnderstandingThink about what and why
Solve problemsTalking about feelings OK
HOW TO BE A GOOD LISTENER
Listen for feelingsListen with your body hear the feelingsUse reflective listening (not paraphrasing)
REFLECTIVE LISTENINGReflecting what you think your child feels and says.
Use the words “you feel” and “because”.
Sample in the book – carnival.
Overused wordsGood, bad, upset.
Look for “body” feelingsFrown or a smileThrowing thingsState the feeling
HOW TO BE A GOOD LISTENER
FEELINGS
• “Frowning.”• “Face is happy”• “Looks Upset.”
FEELINGS
• Things to keep in mind–Surprised Child.–Respectful Questioning.–Check your feelings–Help with saying no.–Not always necessary.
REFLECTIVE LISTENINGCheck your feelings RL helps when you have to say no.
Give feedback Then your child will know you understand his/her feelings.
REFLECTIVE LISTENING FORMULA
REFLECTIVE LISTENING1. You’re (insert feeling
word) for or because (state reason for the feeling).
2. Sounds like you’re (insert feeling word or phrase).
REFLECTIVE LISTENING3. You seem (insert feeling word
or phrase).4. It seems like you are feeling (insert feeling word or phrase).
5. Sounds like you’re feeling sort of (insert feeling word or phrase).
REFLECTIVE LISTENING WORKSHEET
What the child says Reflective Listening Response
Math is so dumb! Why do I need to learn Fractions anyway. I got chosen last for softball in gym class today.You’re so mean, I hate you!I made an A on my paper!I look stupid in this outfit. Mr. Jones is so mean. He yelled at me and made me stay in from recess.
TALKING TO YOUR CHILD
YOU - MESSAGES PUT CHILDREN DOWN
CAN’T YOU SEE THOSE DIRTY DISHES?
HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU?!
HOW TO TALKSO YOUR CHILD WILL
LISTEN
RespectfullyCalmlyWithout Blame
I-MESSAGES – 3 PARTSWhen ………
I feel ………….
because ………….
YOU ARE LATE AGAIN!When you are late…..
I feel worried…..
because you may be hurt or need help
YOU LIVE LIKE A PIG!
When our house is a mess….
I feel upset .........
because I took a lot of time cleaning to make it look good.
INSTEAD OF ACCUSING
GIVE INFORMATION
Who drank milk and left the bottle standing out?
Kids, milk turns sour when it isn’t refrigerated.
INSTEAD OF BLAMINGDESCRIBE THE
PROBLEMYou are so irresponsible! You always start the tub and then forget about it. Do you want us to have a flood?
The water in the bath tub is getting close to the top.
TAKE NOTICESUM IT UP IN A WORD
You stood up for your friend even though the other kids made fun of him.
That’s __________.
TAKE NOTICESUM IT UP IN A WORD
You only ate a little sliver of cake, even though you love it. That really takes ___________.
LISTENING AND TALKING
KEEP PRACTICING
RAPID FIRE BALL Communication is important for _________ Children want parents to _____, _______ and
________ their feelings When you use reflective listening you reflect
______ and ______ for the feeling. Start by using the words ______ and __________ You messages ____ ____ and _____ children I messages tell how ___ _____ without ________ To use an I message tell what is _________,
what ___ ____ and why ___ ____ ____ ___ Avoid using ____ I messages. If you are ____,
__ ___ and ____ ____
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