Appreciating inter personal relationships

Appreciating Inter Personal Relationships

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Learning Objectives

By the end of this program you will be able to:

• Define an Interpersonal Relationship and describe its key areas of focus.

• Describe theories of Interpersonal Relationships

• Describe the 2 principles that impact perception

• Describe and list the 2 Conflict Spirals

• Describe a Communication Climate and list ways to develop a desirable climate

• Describe categories of Defensive and Supportive behaviours that effect and enhance relationships respectively.

• List ways to develop strong Interpersonal Relationships

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Activity: Group Discussion

Category: Group Discussion

Time: 20 Minutes

Instructions:

Study the case-let.

Discuss and arrive at a conclusion.

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Interpersonal Relationships and Their Importance

An Interpersonal Relationship refers to a strong association between two or more people with similar tastes, aspirations and interests.

Relationships are important in all spheres of life. We create relationships for various reasons such as:

• We are social beings, by nature.

• To feel that we belong.

• To achieve common interest.

• To resolve conflict.

• To overcome challenges obstructing attainment of our goals.

• To gain support in areas where we lack the required skills.

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Focus of Interpersonal Relationships

• Interpersonal Relationships are dynamic systems.

• They have a beginning, a lifespan and an end.

• They can be fleeting or enduring.

• Interpersonal relationships usually involve some level of interdependence.

• Because of this interdependence, most things that change or impact one member of the relationship will have some level of impact on the other member.

• Appreciating how we impact others and how they impact us, helps improve our interpersonal relationships.

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Change

Change

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Theories of Interpersonal Relationships

Social Exchange Theory by George Casper Homans

• Give and Take forms the basis of almost all relationships

• Proportions vary as per relationship intensty.

• Feelings and emotions ought to be reciprocated for successful and long lasting relationship.

• A Good Relationship is a mutual fulfilling of needs.

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Give Take

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Theories of Interpersonal Relationships

Uncertainty Reductions Theory by Charles R. Berger and Richard J. Calabrese

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Entry Stage Personal Stage Exit Stage

• Two unknown individuals meeting for the first time go through various stages to reduce the level of uncertainty between them.

• Good communication is key to the progress of the relationship.

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Principles of Perception

2 Principles Impacting our Perception are:

• Attributions:

- Explanations or reasons given to people's words or actions

- Can be Internal or External Attributions

• Interpretations

- Assigning meaning to sensory information to achieve consistency

- Stereotypes, first impressions and self fulfilling prophecies impact our perceptions

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Improving Interpersonal Relationships: The Communication Climate

What is a Communication Climate?

• The emotional feelings that are present when people interact with one another

• Communication climates are metaphors for the feelings we have when interacting with others

• Possible relational climates:

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Stormy

Cold

Sunny

Warm

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How Do Communication Climates Develop?

• Climates begin as soon as two people begin to communicate

• The type of messages sent will determine if the climate will be good or bad

• Verbal and nonverbal messages contribute to the feel of the climate

• They develop according to communicators responses to one another

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Determining the Communication Climate

A Communication Climate is determined by:

• How communicators speak and act toward one another

• How much communicators feel that they are valued by the other person

• The way another person treats us is often an indicator for how they feel toward us

• We interpret other’s behaviors in order to determine how important we are to them

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Barriers to Interpersonal Relationships: Self Perpetuating Spirals

• There are positive and negative spirals

• A spiral takes place when communicators reciprocate and build upon the messages that are sent to one another

• Each person’s message reinforces the other’s message

• Communicators build on one another’s messages

2 Types of Conflict Spirals:

• Escalatory conflict spirals- one attack leads to another attack,

and continues to build

• De-escalatory conflict spirals- when communicators decrease

amount of involvement with communication by continued withdraw

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Confirming Responses: Sunny and Warm Days Ahead!

• Verbal & Nonverbal messages that convey your value for the other person:

“you matter to me”

“you are special”

Types of Confirming Messages:

• Recognition- showing recognition of another person’s presence

• Acknowledgment- to recognize and validate another’s ideas and feelings

• Endorsement- recognizing another’s ideas and feelings and showing

agreement for them.

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The Gibb Categories for Defensive and Supportive Behaviors

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Defensive Supportive

Evaluation Description

Control Problem Orientation

Strategy Spontaneity

Neutrality Empathy

Superiority Equality

Vs.

Vs.

Vs.

Vs.

Vs.

Vs.Certainty Provisionalism

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Activity: The Gibb Categories for Defensive and Supportive Behaviours

Category: Working In Teams

Time:

•Discussion Time: 5 Mins

•Sharing Time: 3 Mins each

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Building Interpersonal Relationships

• Show Your Appreciation

• Communicate your Interest

• Be Everyones Mr. Sunshine. Be Positive!

• Watch Your Body Language

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Activity: Valuing Others

Category: Individual & Team Activity

Time:

• DISC Inventory & Scoring: 8 Mins

• Discussion Time: 5 Mins

• Sharing Time: 5 Mins each

Instructions:

• Attempt the DISC Questionnaire.

• Join the Group that shares your dominanat behavioral style.

• Discuss your traits.

• Present the key characteristics of your style to the class.

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Appreciating Others

• Be genuine.

• Be immediate.

• Identify & state specific actions that were admirable.

• Connect the actions to the persons qualities.

• Recongnise what is going well rather than what isnt.

• Say Please & Thank You, Please as often as you can.

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Communicate Your Interest

• Focus the conversation on them rather than on you.

• Ask questions to discover motives, interests & common goals.

• Ask others for their opinions and suggestions.

• Allow others to speak rather than monopolizing the conversation

• Focus attention on understanding of the words rather than your response.

• Catalogue information that is being conveyed.

• Give feedback by commending speaker on some highlights of the message.

• Question to obtain more information. It shows you were listening.

• Maintain eye contact. It conveys interest.

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People want you to listen to them more that they want you to agree with them.

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Be Everyone’s Mr. Sunshine. No One Likes a Complainer.

• The content of communication is important to Interpersonal Relationships.

• Negative people repel others.

• People prefer upbeat communicators.

• Shift your focus to the other persons problem and help out.

• Visualize: Schedule 5 minutes to envision your goal when

faced with a problem.

• Write down your goal. It needs to be that specific.

• Focus on solutions rather than problems.

• Maintain a cheerful attitude.

• Most people are drawn to a person who can make them laugh. Use your sense of humor.

• Smile. It is unspoken communication that impacts relationships.

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No one wants to be around someone who is always morose and frowning.

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Watch Your Body Language

Good Body Language:

• Maintain Eye Contact.

• When seated lean towards your speaker to convey interest.

• Nodding to convey interest.

• Smiling

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Body Language to Avoid:

• Staring or shifting your gaze quickly

• Looking over your speakers shoulder or looking away

• Leaning back when seated

• Hands in pocket or behind your back.

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Body Language: Facial Expressions & Their Messages

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The Closed Face

The Neutral Face

The Open Face

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Conflict Resolution

• Conflict occurs in situations in which there is opposition. Opposition occurs when a solution cannot be found in a disagreement.

• Conflict is a disagreement through which the parties involved perceive a threat to their needs, well-being, interests or concerns.

• Conflict is healthy and a normal part of any human relationship.

• Conflict resolution involves identifying areas of agreement and areas of compromise so that a solution to the disagreement is identified.

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Responses to Conflict

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• Competing • Collaborating

• Avoiding • Accommodating

• Compromising

• Low • High

• High

• Low

•A

ssertiveness

• Competing • Collaborating

• Avoiding • Accommodating

• Compromising

• Low

• High

• Low

• Co-operation

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Resolving Conflict

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Competing (Forcing)High on assertiveness, Low on cooperation. Outcome -

I Win / U Loose (Either / or paradigm)

Collaborating (Problem Solving)

High on assertiveness, High on cooperation.

Outcome - I Win / U Win

(Infinite possibilities paradigm)

Compromising (Sharing)Take the middle path. Give some take some.

Avoiding (Withdrawal) Low on assertiveness, Low

on cooperation. Outcome- Loose / Loose

Accommodating (Smoothing)

Low on assertiveness, High on cooperation.

Outcome- Loose / Loose

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Conflict Resolution

• Realize that some conflicts are inevitable at work.

• Handle conflicts sooner rather than later.

• Ask nicely

• Invite the other person to talk about the situation.

• Observe

• Apologize.

• Appreciate.

• Identify the consequences.

• Define an objective

• Request.

• Get mediation.

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Activity: Conflict Resolution

Category: Individual Activity

Time: 5 Mins

Instructions:

• Think of a recent conflict that you were a part of

• Answer the following questions:

- What could you appreciate about your opponents point of view?

- What could you appreciate about your point of view?

- What were the consequences for you and your opponent?

- How did you handle the conflict? What was your biggest challenge? What was your proud victory?

-What did you learn from the conflict situation as a whole? How would you do things differently?

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Over To You.

• What worked well?

• What is one concept that will stay with you post this session?

• Any suggestions?

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Leading People. Leading Organizations.

Thank you

®

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