7 Habits of Highly Effective People in Life. HABIT I Be Proactive: Individuals are responsible for their own choices and have the freedom to choose Most.

7 Habits of Highly Effective People in Life

HABIT I

• Be Proactive: Individuals are responsible for their own choices and have the freedom to choose

• Most People are REACTIVE and NOT PROACTIVE

Proactive (+)

• Being proactive means to take care of problems or deal with situations before they become a problem.

• EX. You study for your test ahead of time and do your homework in order to pass your classes.

REACTIVE (-)

• Being reactive means to take care of the situation or problem after it has become a problem.

• EX. You are failing a class and you decide to try and get extra credit the last day of class

Comparison

• Reactive1. Get angry and say

things you regret

2. Blame others

• Proactive1. Remain calm and

think of alternatives to say or do

2. Focus on solutions to the problem instead of problems

Comparison

• Reactive1. Whine and Complain

2. Feel like “victims”

• Proactive1. Taking ownership of

choices made in life

2. Take responsibility for yourself and knowing that others are not to blame

Language

• Reactive1. If only he would2. He makes me so angry3. Why don’t you

change?4. There’s nothing I can

do

• Proactive1. I helped cause this by2. I’ll find a solution that

works3. I’m responsible

4. Let’s look at all the options

VIDEO

• http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=daymk2TWu1o

Gaining Control• Define your Circle of Influence and your Circle of

Concern (2 Different Circles)

• Proactive people work within their circle of Influence to affect things around them.

• Reactive people focus on things they can’t control- things in their Circle of Concern- which gives them less influence on the things that are important to them.

• What are some things you can control?

Thought for the moment:

• It’s not what people do to us that hurts us. It is our response to what they do to us that hurts us…

Explore Concern

• In groups of five or six, make a list of 20 items you are concerned about in your life. Discuss these items among your group. The concerns can be any topic. You have 10 minutes…

Explore Your Influence

• Now look back at your list of Concerns and decide what influence you have over the items on the list and how you can control your actions , reactions, or realize if it is not in your circle of influence….. Circle just the ones you actually can control…

Key Points to Ponder

• You may not be able to choose everything that happens to you, but you can choose your attitude and reaction

• What are your strengths?• What do you need to improve on?• How can you apply what you have learned?• Why do I want to change?

HABIT 2

• Begin with the End in Mind : know what you hope to accomplish with your decision

• “I can choose my own future and create a vision of it”

• “I create results mentally before beginning any activity”

Habit 2 Begin w the End in Mind

• Create and apply personal and organizational mission statements as constitutions for daily living

• Envision the desired results and important values to guide activities and behaviors

Habit 2• The best way to predict your future is

to create it• The best way to determine your

purpose and move in that direction is to look for answers to these questions:– “What am I all about?”– “What makes life worth living?”– “What will I do with my Life?”

Habit 2

•“ Control your own destiny or someone else will”

H2 : Why is it so important to have a Plan?

• The answer is simple- all things are created twice.

• First, is the mental plan. • Second, is the actual physical creation

or work. A carefully considered plan gives you the mental plan needed to achieve the desired outcome.

Mental vs Physical• Mental Creation (Plan)

• 1. Script of a play

• 2. Brainstorm ideas for an essay

• 3. Picking out a design for a house

• Physical Creation (Work)

• 1. Performance of the Play

• 2. Writing the essay

• 3. Building the house

• Many people gain a sense of who they are from the opinions and perceptions of the people around them. They allow circumstances , situations, and the society to mold and form who they are and what they achieve.

• The most effective people, however, shape their own futures. Instead of letting other people or circumstances determine their destinies, they mentally plan and then physically create their own positive results. What they have in their mind shapes their future.

Script Your Future• List those things that are most important in your

life• If you were to do one thing at school what

would have the most positive impact, what would it be?

• If you were to do one thing in your personal life that would have the most positive impact, what would it be?

• Who are the people who have influenced your life the most?

Project Your Life Forward

• To help you think about what kind of person you would like to be, imagine you’ve lived a fulfilling and rewarding life and now it is your 90th birthday. Family, Friends, Co-Workers, and Neighbors have gathered in your honor to pay tribute to you.

• What do you think they would say?? Let’s see on the next two slides…

Tributes• Write a tribute you would like to receive

from each person on the next slide answering the questions below:

• 1. What would each person say?• 2. What difference have I made in each

persons life?• 3. What qualities or characteristics will I be

remembered for?• 4. What outstanding contribution would each

person mention?

Tributes• Using the 4 questions from the

previous slide, answer them according to what you would like the following people in your life to say:

• Spouse• Son• Daughter• Co-Worker• Best Friend

Mission Statement• A mission statement is a powerful

document that expresses your personal sense of purpose and meaning in life. It helps you evaluate your decisions and choose your behavior.

• To create your mission statement, think about the people you admire, how you’d like to be in a year’s time, and what kinds of things in your life you value most.

Forming a Mission Statement• What are my greatest moments of happiness

and fulfillment?• What are the activities of most worth to me

in my personal life?• What are my natural gifts, talents, strengths,

and abilities?• What am I motivated by, fascinated with,

and passionate about?• How can I best contribute to mankind?

Examples• Our Family is great- as a family we want to

love, laugh, teach, and learn. The Hubbert family is a TEAM.

• I want to be the kind of person my dog thinks I am.

• My mission is to live with integrity and to make a difference in the lives of others.

• I want my life to be about….. I am ….. I will…..

Habit Review

• HABIT I: Be Proactive– Doing something before it becomes a

problem• HABIT II: Start with the End in Mind

– Mission Statement and Questions for Others

Habit 3: Put First Things First

• Effectiveness requires balancing important relationships, roles, and activities

• “Things which matter most must never be at the mercy of things which matter least”

• “I focus on importance instead of urgency”• “I fulfill my mission by achieving

important goals in my key roles”

H 3: Put First Things First• Focus on the truly important and say no to

the unimportant• Plan weekly and implement daily based

on mission, roles, goals, and priorities• “The key is not to prioritize your

schedule, but to schedule your priorities”

H3: Put First Things First• Habit 3 helps you identify and act on the

priorities in your life, including your relationships and the things that are most important to you

• Which activities support what matters most to you?

• How do I stay focused on what matters most?

• “ Time management is really a misnomer – the challenge is not to manage time, but to manage ourselves”

Urgent vs Not Urgent

• List 20 things that have come up or you had to do since you woke up this morning that you have had to deal with.

• Then identify them as Urgent or Not Urgent. Can you tell the difference ??

• “ The main thing is to keep the main thing the main thing”

• “ What lies behind us and what lies ahead of us are but tiny matters compared to what lies within us.”

How do You Stay Focused?• Planning how you will spend your time helps

you put first things first. If you plan with sincere effort, you will benefit from more inner peace, greater balance, and increased personal and professional productivity

• A tool such as your agenda reminds you to schedule your time around what is most important to you

To Do Lists

• Schedule and write To Do Lists in your agenda or on your phone. Make sure you keep first things first. Check off as you go and whatever you may miss, it becomes the first thing first the next day.

• Start using what works for you now

Review

• Habit I: Be PROACTIVE• Habit II: Begin With the End In

Mind• Habit III: Put First Things First

Habit 4: Think Win-Win• Effective, long-term relationships require

mutual benefit• “I seek the benefit of others as well as my

own”• “I get better results in my relationships by

cooperating than by competing”• “What do we live for, if it is not to make

life less difficult for others?”

Habit 4 W/W

• Balance courage and consideration in seeking mutual benefit

• Persist in looking for Win-Win outcomes despite past Win-Lose conditioning

• The Public Victory begins when you cooperate so that everyone wins.

Questions for Habit 4

• How do I balance my needs against someone else’s needs?

• What choices help me create Win-Win situations?

• “ With a Win-Win solution, all parties feel good about the decision and feel committed to the action plan. Win-Win sees life as a cooperative, not a competitive arena.”

Balance• Win-Lose(I Win, You Lose) = Thinking Win-

lose is thinking competitively. A win means putting others down. Many people go into situations thinking , if I win, you lose.

• Lose-Win (A Doormat) = Thinking Lose-Win is allowing others to win even when it means you lose. You say, “I lose; you win. Go ahead, walk all over me. Step on me again, everyone else does. I probably deserve it.”

Balance• Lose-Lose (The Downward Spiral) = Lose-

Lose thinking is believing that if you go down, others must go down with you (revenge, self-justification, etc…)

• Win-Win (Everyone Wins) = Thinking Win-Win is when your frame of mind and heart seeks the benefit of all. It is an attitude that says, “I can win and so can you. It’s not me or you; it’s all of us WE.”

Balance

• No Deal ( Agree to Disagree) = No Deal is an outcome where the people involved agree to disagree. They decide to move on without agreement. In some cases, they try Win-Win another time.

What is Your Mentality?• Abundance Mentality: People with an Abundance

Mentality generally think there’s a way for everyone to win. It takes courage to believe there’s enough for everyone.

• Scarcity Mentality: Believing that there is not enough to go around. Less means less for me.

• Abundance Mentality: Believing that there is more than enough for everyone. More creates more.

Examples of More Creates More• Smiling• Providing courtesy and services• Recognizing and rewarding others• Treating others with kindness and respect• Listening sincerely to others• Proactively suggesting improvements to

policies and procedures

What Choices Help Create Win Win?

• Competition is healthy when it results in a greater good. However, in most cases in your personal lives choosing to compete lessens your motivation to cooperate to achieve solutions that each person can agree on fully.

• You must be courageous and considerate- you must be willing to speak up for yourself and be willing to listen to other points of view.

• How Does Win-Win correlate with your Circle of Influence?

EBA (Emotional Bank Account)• Is a concept that encourages you to think

about and evaluate the amount of trust that exists in your personal relationships.

• Every interaction with another person may be a deposit or a withdrawal from your EBA or the EBA’s of others.

• When you have a Win-Win attitude, you are making deposits in the EBA’s of others and increasing TRUST in your relationship…

Deposit vs Withdrawal• Deposit::• 1 Listening w/o

interrupting• 2 Being kind and

courteous• 3 Keeping Promises• 4 Apologizing

• Withdrawals:• 1 Interrupting a

conversation• 2 Being Rude and

Discourteous• 3 Lying• 4 Showing Disrespect

• Deposits: Deposits build and repair trust in relationships.

• Withdrawals: Withdrawals reduce and damage trust in the relationships.

• What are you doing to make deposits into your emotional bank account and in the account of others?????

• What are you doing that makes you feel like you are overdrawn?????

Summary• Habit I: BE PROACTIVE

• Habit II: BEGIN WITH THE END IN MIND

• Habit III: PUT FIRST THINGS FIRST

• Habit IV: THINK WIN-WIN

Habit 5 Seek First to Understand• “I assume I don’t fully understand, and I

need to listen.”

• “If I listen first to understand, then I will be better understood.”

• “Before I walk in another persons shoes, I must first remove my own.”

Habit 5• By developing an attitude for seeking

to understand others first you become a person whom others trust.

• When people believe you care about their needs, they are more willing to care about yours, opening the way for Win-Win.(H4)

Review How You Communicate• Becoming a more effective listener

requires developing both the desire and skill to do so.

• To listen effectively, you must live by key principles of communication. One of these key principles is to understand the way meaning is conveyed from speaker to listener.

• Communication experts estimate that only 7 percent of your communication is represented by words you say, another 38 percent by your sounds and how you say words, and 55 percent by your nonverbals and body language.

• “The one who listens does the most work, not the one who speaks.”

Communication Barriers• It is hard to listen IF:

– You’re worried about problems– You Listen faster than people speak– You’re sometimes tired or bored– You’re thinking about what you’re going to

say back to the other person– You’re distracted

What are your barriers????

• “People do not care how much you know until they know how much you care.”

Empathic Listening

• Empathy means seeing things the way another person sees them. Empathic listening is listening to completely understand the other person’s viewpoint

Respond to Acknowledge Understanding

• When you practice empathy, you do not judge or offer solutions prematurely. You seek to clarify what you heard. Use phrases from the list below to acknowledge that you understand:– As I get it, you felt that…– You must have felt…– You place high value on….– You seem frustrated about…..

Levels of Listening• Ignoring: Putting Forth No Effort• Pretend Listening: Appearing to Listen• Selective Listening: Hearing only what

interests you• Attentive Listening: Paying more attention.

Being focused. Being Polite• Empathic Listening: Listening with your

eyes, heart, and mind to hear the entire message

How would the following rate you as a listener? (1-5)

• Your Best Friend 1 2 3 4 5• Your Teacher• A Co-Worker• Your Mom• Your Dad• Your Brother/Sister• How do your scores affect your Emotional Bank

account balances with these people? Are you making enough DEPOSITS?

Habit Review

• Habit I: BE PROACTIVE• Habit II: Begin With the End In Mind• Habit III: Put First Things First• Habit IV: Think Win-Win• Habit V: Seek First To Understand, Then

Be Understood• Habit VI: SYNERGIZE

Habit 6: SYNERGIZE

• The Whole is Greater than the Sum of Its Parts

• “I value the differences in others and seek the Third Alternative”

• “Working together cooperatively takes time but produces better long-term results”

Habit 6

• Apply Win-Win thinking and Empathic Communication to seek synergistic outcomes, including the Third Alternative

• Use Synergy ground rules to discover the Third Avenue

Purpose of Habit 6

• Every day you must interrelate and work with others- at home and at school. Habit 6 will help you realize the benefits of working with others using creative cooperation, even when people act differently or believe different things.

What Does Synergy Mean• Synergy is when two or more people

produce more together than the sum of what they could produce separately. They use their differences to produce something that neither one could have produced alone.

• Synergy means building teamwork and trust by recognizing the contributions of others and cooperating creatively.

Synergy IS vs Synergy IS NOT• Celebrating

Differences

• Working Interdependently

• Being Open-Minded

• Finding New and Better Ways

• Tolerating Differences

• Working Independently

• Thinking You’re Always Right

• Compromising

Synergy Map• Define the Problem or Opportunity• Their Way- seek first to understand the

ideas of others• My Way – seek to be understood by

sharing your ideas• Brainstorm – create new options and ideas• High Way – find the best solution

Advantages of Valuing Differences

• People who value and celebrate differences in others are people who:– Act as role models– Do not prejudge others based on characteristics or

belief systems– Discuss conflicts privately with the others involved– Desire success for others– Show respect through words and actions– Recognize other viewpoints, even if they conflict with

their own

TRUST Survey Rate 1-5 ( Poor Average Outstanding )

• I do what I say I’ll do• I listen to people• I can be trusted with confidential info• I give credit where credit is due• I solve problems instead of wasting time blaming

others• I give honest feedback• I share decision making w the people most important to

me• I share my opinions while respecting others’ opinions• I share information w the appropriate people• I respect other people’s ideas

Totals• 0-29 You may have a problem trusting others.

Because of that, you may appear less trustworthy. Look at those items where you scored yourself 3 or lower. What could you do to increase those scores? How can you demonstrate you are more trust-worthy and will keep your word?

• 30-44 You have a high level of trust, but should keep challenging yourself to increase your score. Where could you improve?

• 45-50 You are the model of trustworthiness

Habit 7 Sharpen the Saw

• Production (results) requires development of production capability (resources)

• “I increase my effectiveness through personal renewal in each of the four dimensions of my life”

• “I continually improve”

Key Process

• Constantly develop and renew personal resources to create better production and production capability

• Set and achieve goals for renewal in the physical, mental, spiritual, and social/emotional dimensions

• By taking time out to enhance your physical, mental, social/emotional, and spiritual well-being, you become more effective in all other habits

• “To keep the lamp burning, we have to keep putting oil in it”

Understand This• YOU are YOUR most important resource. To

take care of yourself, you need to consciously plan time for renewal. Effectively planning your production and your production capability. This is known as the P/PC Balance

• Production Production Capability • Golden Eggs The Goose

• Highly effective people balance their production capability (themselves, their work, their skills, and their co-workers) and their resulting production ( being responsible for their work, earning the respect of co-workers and becoming indispensable to the department).

Defining the Saw• Everybody needs and wants to feel energetic

and peaceful. When you take time for the rest, relaxation, and renewal you need, you are sharpening your saw. Renewal allows you to take on the challenges of daily living and to maintain your production capability.

• Your saw consists of your body, mind, spirit, and relationships with others. It is vital to sharpen the saw completely by focusing on all four aspects of renewal.

• PHYSICAL: You build physical wellness through proper nutrition, exercise, rest, and stress management.

• MENTAL: You increase mental capacity by reading, writing, thinking, and discussing your ideas.

• SPIRITUAL: You develop spirituality by reading inspirational literature, meditating, performing service, and spending time in nature

• SOCIAL/EMOTIONAL: You mature socially and emotionally by making consistent daily deposits into the EBA of your key relationships and yourself.

What Can you Do to Sharpen the Saw?

• Physical- To Live (5 Things)• Mental – To Learn (5 Things)• Spiritual – To Leave a Legacy (5

Things)• Social/Emotional – To Love (5

Things)

Review• Habit I: BE PROACTIVE• Habit II: Begin With the End In Mind• Habit III: Put First Things First• Habit IV: Think Win-Win• Habit V: Seek First To Understand, Then

Be Understood• Habit VI: SYNERGIZE• Habit VII: Sharpen the Saw