10 challenges of developing emotionally intelligent leadership

The 10 challenges of developing emotionally-intelligent leadership in

organisations

Helen Caton-Hughes, MD, The Forton Group

With quotes from

‘Focus’ By Daniel Goleman

3 types of empathy

• Cognitive/Emotional Empathy– Recognising and resonating with feelings

• Sympathy– Concern for others’ welfare

• Empathic Concern– We care about people– We are willing to help if needed

Cognitive Empathy

• Infer what’s going on in someone else’s mind

• Understand another person’s ways of seeing and thinking

• Reflects language that fits their way of understanding

Empathy requires an inquisitive nature• An inquisitive nature feeds cognitive empathy

– Why they think what they think– Why they do what they do– Learning - what worked/didn’t work

Unconscious Physical

Synchrony

“When people listen to someone telling a story, the brains of the listeners become intimately coupled with that of the story

teller.”• This, in turn, generates good feeling• Such shared focus puts the brain in the

best mode for learning

Psychological vs. Physical empathy

• It takes time to tell the psychological and moral dimensions of a situation

• It takes longer than empathy around physical issues

Where we focus matters• “Emotional empathy grows stronger if we

attend to the intensity of pain.”• The more distracted we are, the less we can

exhibit attunement and caring

TEN CHALLENGES OF INTRODUCING EI LEADERSHIP COMPETENCES

Application in the field of leadership

Challenge #1: Every organisation is a

complex system. Where the physical

structures are may be clear but how people fit

in may be less clear. It’s the network of

people that makes – and changes – the

system

HR Finance

IT Marketing

Operations Customers

Shareholders

Stakeholders

Challenge #2: Emotional Intelligence (EI) is a set of invisible

competences that help us work together better in the system. These competences

demand practice – not just understanding. When used well, we create, learn and think clearly – providing better, more enduring,

solutions – for everyone.

Challenge #3: It seems easier to focus on visible

actions and outcomes than invisible skills and competences

Leaders need take a whole systems overview and look at systems’

lifecycles – not just the short term. This, in itself, takes emotional

resilience.

Challenge #4

Pareto PrincipleLeaders need to select from many

complex options, the top 3 or 4 priorities that will have the greatest positive

impactsOf which one is investing in emotionally-

intelligent leaders

Challenge #5

To build better emotional intelligence in leaders, we need senior people to

appreciate EI competences.This requires their attention, and

willingness to invest time & money, in these invisible competences

Challenge #6

Challenge #7

When leaders talk about developing leadership competences, they need to include themselves – but may prefer to talk about the development needs of others.

Negative drivers (‘burning platforms speeches’) are poor

motivators – but seem easy and immediate.

Challenge #8

“We’re better motivated by positive emotions: it feels more

meaningful and the urge to act lasts longer”

Leadership is no longer the role of a single ‘hero leader’

“Everything we’re doing is part of the system. There is no ‘Archimedean point’ where we’re

either failing, or, if we pull harder, we’re going to succeed.”

(Paul Hawken)

Challenge #9

“Attentional Anaesthetic”

- Temporal-Parietal Junction (TPJ)

Protects focus by walling off emotions along with other distractions and helps keep a distance between oneself and others

• Problem/solution mode

• Understands the person’s perspective intellectually

• ‘Head to heart’ • Not ‘heart to heart’

‘sociopaths’

• “tell themselves about emotions, but don’t feel them directly”

• Leaves them focusing on the experience at hand• Blinds them to consequences

The TPJ Risk

“The powerful tend to tune out the powerless”

Leaders need to understand that Emotional Intelligence is a ‘whole

system’, positive and enduring solution. An investment for now &

the long term

Challenge #10conclusion

The new leadership is organisation-wide

• Every team member is part of the whole system

• Everyone needs to step up, speak up, and contribute their skills and strengths

Developing Emotional Intelligence

Awareness Management

Self Self-Awareness Self-Management

Other(s) Social Awareness

Relationship Management

Ken Wilbur’s Whole System Model

Leadership Coaching Skills

• Support the development of emotionally-intelligent leaders

• Empower people to be more personally successful and to enable success in others

• Enable people to be more coach-like in their own leadership

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