The STOP System for Overcoming Negative Thinking

1 Overcoming Negativity with the S.T.O.P! System

Overcoming Negativity with the

S.T.O.P! System

Instantly increase confidence and boost self esteem by stopping negativity in its tracks

F. A. Masters


Copyright © 2013 Fusion Therapeutic Coaching Ltd.

All Rights Reserved


FOREWORD: THE FUSION STORY Several years ago, Robert walked into my office. A design engineer by

trade, tall, intelligent and smartly dressed, he presented as a successful

businessman. However, he told a story of a life that was being destroyed by his own

negative thinking. He felt that his life was moving nowhere, he lacked

self confidence, had trouble talking to women and was continuously

looked over for promotions at work.

All his negativity and self doubt had resulted in daily panic attacks. He

had been taken to hospital by ambulance on more than one occasion as

he felt sure he was having a heart attack. He'd been to multiple

therapists, life-coaches and counsellors, all of whom left him with

superficial, short-term improvements.

We worked together on that first session and he told me his goal was

simple: to just get through twenty-four hours without an attack. At that

time I'd been reading a lot of cutting-edge research in neuroplasticity and

decided to try something new.

I wanted to provide John the toolset he needed to literally rewire his brain. Let me be clear, I didn't mean this in a vague or abstract way. I

wanted to help John to reorganize the neural pathways in his brain.


Neuroplasticity: The Foundations of Fusion

It was once believed that as we aged, the brain's networks became

fixed. In the past two decades, however, an enormous amount of

research has revealed that the brain never stops changing and adapting.

An amazing example of this adaptability is the sea gypsies of Thailand, a

nomadic tribe who live all their lives on boats.

The children are taught to deep-sea dive for food at a very early age.

They have developed adaptive responses to their watery environment by

slowing their heart rates at will to stay down longer. Amazingly their

vision has also adapted to be able to see clearly up to a depth of thirty

feet underwater.

The children of the sea gypsies have learned to change their pupillary

reflex, an extraordinary example of plasticity, showing clearly how the

brain and body can be moulded.

Neurons and synapses

Inside your brain are billions of neurons. They carry information,

communicate and connect through synapses forming internal pathways.

In this way patterns of behaviour, habits and thinking style develop. They

become the basis of our personality.

But they can be changed.


If you think about a grassy field; the very first time you walk across it,

there is no pathway, yet when you look back, you can just about make

out where your feet have trodden.

If you walk across the grass again, you are able to follow your tracks and

the grass is more trodden down this time.

By the time you have walked down this track many times, you have

established a clear pathway.

The same thing happens in your brain. When you repeat a pattern of

behaviour, the connections get stronger. Like playing a musical

instrument, the first time you pick it up, it feels strange and unfamiliar

but, as you continue to practise and rehearse, you become more

competent. If you practise regularly, you become so proficient that you

can play without even thinking about it. You transfer it to a subconscious

process. It feels natural to play. You are ‘in flow’.

Once you have an established pathway, and once it has been used and

re-used thousands of times, a myelin sheath wraps around the

connections. Now you have not just a path or road, but a super highway.

The pattern of response is now fast, efficient and automatic.

The dark side of neuroplasticity

These pathways can be both good and bad. Positive patterns are worth

repeating but negative patterns, once established can feel difficult to

break. These are the addictions, negative thinking styles, drinking styles,

eating styles and life styles.


If you’ve behaved in a certain way for a long time, the pathway is

certainly well embedded.

Yet, neuroscience has shown us that the brain can be rewired and new,

more helpful patterns of thought and behaviour can be established.

Two weeks later he returned a entirely different person. He hadn't had

one attack since we last met, seemed more confident, happy and

focused on the goals he now felt able to achieve. He and I were amazed

at the progress he'd made, and I decided to expand on the tools I'd used

to help him.

The result was The Fusion Model, a combination of the most powerful tools available to help reprogram your brain for incerdible success About Frances Masters. MBACP (accred) GHGI. FRTC

Frances Masters is a BACP accredited psychotherapist with over

30,000 client hours of experience. She's also a certified life-coach, and

has helped thousands of people from all walks of life achieve goals big

and small.

http://thefusionmodel.com/1-major-life-hack-raising-confidence-level/�


OVERCOME NEGATIVE THINKING WITH THE S.T.O.P SYSTEM

'Happiness is an attitude. We either make

ourselves miserable, or happy and strong. The amount of work is the same.'

-Fransesca Reigler

Some people never seem to be happy David was like that. 'It's like someone up there has got it in for me' he

said.

Even when everything was going right, David would squash any positive

feelings with 'It's all going too well, you never know what's around the

corner.'

It was like he was trying to protect himself in some way by having

negative expectations, deliberately setting the bar low.

As a consequence, David walked around with a personal cloud over his

head and was constantly in a fight with depression. Many people gave

him a wide berth. He was simply too negative to be around.

http://thefusionmodel.com/depression-self-help-secret-new-mums-need-know/�


If you've been down for a long time, you might think that's just the way

you are. Perhaps negativity or depression 'runs in the family'. Perhaps

you think it's in your DNA?

However, you'll be pleased to hear that, despite ten years of research

and billions of pounds and dollars of investment they still have found no

biomarkers for depressive thinking.

This is good news for anyone who wants to change his or her thinking

style. If negativity is not in your genes, then there must be a way of

resolving it, no matter how long you've had it:

'The best time to plant a tree is twenty years ago. The second best time is today.'

-Chinese proverb

It's never too late to start thinking positively.

The way you think is critically linked to the way you feel. It's not

uncommon for people to have 'thinking errors' as the originator of

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy observed;

'If aliens landed right now and realised how human beings think, they'd fall off their seats

laughing.' -Aaron Beck*


If you get a headache, do you think it's a brain tumour? If you take a

plane to go on holiday, do you imagine it's going to crash and everyone

will be killed?

Do you run scary films in your head? If you are the kind of person who goes from A-Z missing out all the

letters in between, then you have a classical thinking error.

You are a 'catastrophiser' and misusing your powerful human

imagination. That alone can result in low mood and eventual depression.

If you've been fighting negative thinking for too long, it's time to make

some changes. The definition of madness after all is to keep doing what

you've away done and expect something different to happen!

How does the S.T.O.P! System work? S.T.O.P! is a way of breaking negative or unhelpful patterns of response

which have become embedded in your brain's neural network.

Throughout life, we learn ways of acting and thinking in response to our

environment. We construct 'internal maps' to navigate the world we find

ourselves in.

However, those maps are often inaccurate and sometimes downright

unhelpful!


Your brain receives information via all the senses of your body; hearing,

sight, touch, smell and taste.

But the senses are merely the waiters who bring the feast to the table.

Your internal experience can never be the reality, just your interpretation

of it.

There are many systems around who use motivation and visualisation

techniques. They can help for a short time. They work by giving people a

lift and encouraging them to feel more positive.

You can reclaim your life from negative thinking with S.T.O.P!

Slow breathe

Take a step back

Observe and scale

Positive mental rehearsal

#1. S.T.O.P! Ever noticed how a red light stops you in your tracks?

Much of your life is spent on autopilot. You run software in your head,

which takes care of most of your day-to-day activities.

As a result, you can go through a whole day simply reacting to

situations using progammes based on previous conditioning and prior

learning.


But, what if you could S.T.O.P! and bring your self to awareness?

Rather than simply and mindlessly react to situations, you can now

choose a more helpful response.

For people caught up in a mindless loop of negative thinking, S.T.O.P! presents an opportunity to interrupt that old habitual pattern and run

different soft ware to generate new neural pathways and new patterns of

thinking.

Even though neuroscience tells us we are procession around four

hundred billion pieces of information subconsciously, you can only think

one conscious thought at a time.

S.T.O.P! buys you the time to consciously replace those old unhelpful

thoughts and beliefs with new, life enhancing self statements.

Many negative thinking patterns are generated by the emotional

subconscious mind.

This silent right brain hemisphere has no language. It is an older part of

your brain and understands the world through instincts, emotions,

images and concepts.

As soon as you say S.T.O.P! you bring yourself to conscious

awareness. You now have an opportunity to choose your thought and

choose your response.


'If you can change your mind, you can change your life.' William James

#2. Slow breathe

Once you've interrupted automatic reactions with S.T.O.P!, Step 2

involves slowing down the breathe with a powerful parasympathetic

breathing technique where the out breath is longer than the in breath.

This stimulates the innate relaxation response which calms both the

body and the mind.

This breathing technique is the gateway to advanced meditation and the

elusive alpha-theta brain state.

Alpha brain waves are associated with deep relaxation and theta waves

allow for accelerated learning.

When you slow the breath and count the breath, you neutralise

emotional hijacking. Your rational left hemisphere is now running the

show.

This is an ideal brain state for taking back control of both thoughts and

actions.

From the logical left hemisphere, you will now notice you have a choice.


'No one can make you feel bad without your permission.' -Eleanor Roosevelt

#3. Take a step back

Your extraordinary human brain has the unique ability to shift perception;

to see things from another point of view; to step back from itself and

become an observer of both thought and action.

When you think and act consciously, you are in your 'executive brain.'

If your life were a soap opera, the executive brain would be both the

script writer and the director.

Real psychological health is achieved when you have learned to

associate and dissociate at will; to connect with emotion when it is

helpful but to step back when emotional thinking threatens your calm

and cool judgement.

Learning to 'step back' from an old unhelpful automatic and conditioned

internal dialogue now gives you the opportunity to rewrite the script!

'Do you think your thoughts, or do you allow your thoughts to think you?

- Anon.


#4. Observe and scale

Having stepped back from emotional hijacking and automatic thinking,

you are now in what Dr Arthur Deikman* referred to as 'the observing self.'

The executive brain and observing self allow you to access rational and

logical strategies such as noticing and scaling your own level of anxiety,

anger, despair, or any of the powerful human emotions which can cloud

your judgement, thoughts and actions.

From your observing self, notice what your internal dialogue is and what

effect that has on how you feel, both physically and emotionally. Notice

how that affects your behaviour.

Example 1. Negative Automatic Thought:

'I'm fat, ugly and stupid. Who will be bothered to talk to me at the office

party? I'll end up standing on my own feeling awkward....as usual!'

Result? Go to the party, look unhappy or defensive with lots of negative

body language which others detect, so they give you a wide berth. Your

negative internal dialogue is now confirmed. 'I told you so.' it says.

Example 2. Positive Conscious Thought;

'I'm looking good in this new outfit. I'm really looking forward to the party.

It's a good opportunity to get to know the people at work in a relaxed


setting. If I can't think of anything interesting to say, I'll be a good listener

and ask lots of questions.'

Result? Walk in looking happy and approachable, making eye contact as

you search out new people to get to know. The other people at the party

now perceive you as warm and approachable.

Your positive expectation is reinforced. The next party will be easier.

#5. Positive mental rehearsal

This is where the fun starts.

Recent developments in neuroscience now confirm that your human

brain is a reality generator. Your brain and your body do not know the

difference between something you vividly imagine and something you

actually do.

Think about it. Think of all the possibilities of using your reality generator

to really help you be your best, feel your best and live your best life?

Prove it!

Example 1. Close your eyes and think of a lemon. See its bright yellow

skin. In your imagination, cut it open and smell the sharp citrus aroma.

Is your mouth watering?

Example 2.


Close your eyes and think of an embarrassing situation. Perhaps you've

gone out wearing odd socks or had a coughing fit in the middle of a

presentation.

Do your palms feel sweaty or your stomach feel tight, or have you gone

a bit red in the face?

Australian Psychologist Alan Richardson* took a group of basketball

players and divided them into three groups.

He scaled each player's ability to make free throws, then suggested:

Group A should practise for twenty minutes a day

Group B should visualise themselves making free throws every day

Group C should neither practise nor visualise.

The results were extraordinary. After the designated twenty days were

up, group C had not improved but group B had improved almost as

much as group A - by 23 and 24%!

In other words, there was little difference between those who had

physically practised and those who had just used positive mental

rehearsal!

As an accredited psychotherapist and coach, I constantly use advanced

visualisation techniques with my clients to accelerate improved well


being, make positive life changes and move them quickly towards their

goals.

Playing a movie in your head

Every time you repeat a behaviour or thought pattern, your embed a

neural pathway on your brain.

A bit like walking across a grassy field. The first time you cross it there is

no path, but when your turn and look back, you can just make out where

your feet have trodden.

When you cross the field again, you can retrace your previous foot

steps.

By the time you have crossed that field a few thousand times, you have

worn the grass down to the mud and you have an established path.

The same thing happens in your brain.

The more you repeat an action, or think a negative thought, the more

you embed those connections between your neurons and synapses.

You are creating a neural pathway. By the time you have repeated that

action or that internal script a thousand times, a myelin sheath develops

around the connections and you now have a super highway, which

allows faster automatic reaction.


'I’ve had a lot of worries in my life, most of which never happened'

Mark Twain

Here's the great news.

Because your brain is neuroplastic, you can create new pathways and

new patterns of response.

You can generate a different thinking style and, when you stop going

down that old path, the grass grows up over it.

Simply put, this is the essence of neuroplasticity. If you positively

mentally rehearse a new internal dialogue and new patterns of

response, you will genuinely be rewiring your own brain.

So, instead of running the old negative programme, you can now upload

your own improved software in your own time and from the comfort of

your office chair.

Here's how:

Close your eyes, slow your breathing and imagine being in a peaceful

place.

Think of something positive you can use as a personal mantra or

affirmation such as 'Yes I can' or 'I just say yes to life.'


Imagine you've been asleep and, during the night, something magical

has happened. Your negative thinking has disappeared. You wake up in

the morning feeling energetic, confident and positive about the day

ahead.

Notice what's different. What are you doing differently? How do those

around you react?

How does it feel to be living this way? How does it feel to be thinking this

way?

Repeat this exercise before you go to sleep at night. Wake up with

positive expectation in the morning.

If, at any point during the day, you notice negativity creeping back in,

simply say to yourself S.T.O.P!

Slow your breathing down, mentally step back from the automatic

thought and choose a more helpful statement or response.

Have your positive affirmation ready for use.

The more you use it, the faster the new neural pathway will embed. People in the know understand the power of advanced visualisation

techniques. Back in the 1980s, Jim Carrey wrote himself a cheque for

ten million dollars, long before he ever made a movie.

The principle is simple:

http://thefusionmodel.com/11-ways-shatter-negative-thinking/�

http://thefusionmodel.com/5-top-tips-give-confidence-level-instant-upgrade/�


Neuroscientists tell us that, due to the nature of our brain filter, the

Reticular Activating System, what you focus on is what you get.

Through using S.T.O.P! you’ll learn that there’s

no such thing as an idle thought.

You have simply been too tolerant of your minds’ trance like automatic

thoughts for too long. But negative thinking is nothing more than a bad

habit. And like any bad habit, it can be changed with conscious and

deliberate effort.

Use S.T.O.P! to practice conscious, moment by-moment awareness.

Don't run your life on old assumptions, rules and beliefs you 'learned' as

a child. You don't want that inner child to be controlling your life do you?

S.T.O.P! will release you from the prison of your illusions. The good

news is you can change your behaviour.

All you have to do is change your mind!

* Links

• www.simplypsychology.org/maslow

• www.deikman.com

• www.beckinstitute.org

• au.linkedin.com/in/alanrichardsonpsychology

• http://www.thefusionmodel.com

http://www.simplypsychology.org/maslow�

http://www.deikman.com/�

http://www.beckinstitute.org/�


• http://thefusionmodel.com/overcoming-negativity-with-the-stop-

system/

The STOP System for Overcoming Negative Thinking

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The STOP System for Overcoming Negative Thinking