Isnâ€™t It Romantic?

8/15/2019 Isnt It Romantic?

1/24

Cuba, Between History and Legend

Isnt It Romantic?

The door of the beauty parlor swung open and the client

flew in, a big, red bow falling over her left shoulder, her

straw hat over the right. Titico, honey! They found

Lolitas tomb! She then immediately and instinctively

rearranged her bow and hat.

At that very instant, Titico, formally known as Robertico

de la Cerda del Corral, dropped his scissors, put hispinkish palms flat up against his cheeks, and let out a

high-pitched little scream like no other ever heard at

Titicos Salon of Beauty for High Class Ladies, Estd

1863, namely Camageys pre-eminent beauty parlor

and rumor mill.

As soon as he screamed, Titico stopped working on his

other client, a snooty-looking lady from Havana. Titico

cried out, No! I dont believe it! When? Where? How?!

Are they sure shes dead? I mean, this is Camagey, and

sometimes its hard to tell

Im telling you, Titico, they found it! Or, more

accurately, the peanut-vendor found it.

1


2/24


The peanut-vendor found a lost tomb? Girl, you finally

lost your marbles! And no less than Lolitas tomb. Of all

the dead people in Camagey the peanut-vendor was

able to go and find the one tomb that the whole town has

been looking for. No way!

Titico, Im telling you, the peanut-vendor went today to

have a smoke, like he does every morning after hes done

with all that singing that Hes going, hes going, thepeanut-vendor is going!. Well, this morning he finally

went. To the cemetery. And there, among all those dead

people, as big as life, was a sign!

A sign from God! gasped Titico.

Well, not exactly, indicated the messenger. More likely

from some guy or other that Lolita turned down during

her long career before she got small pox sniffed the

messenger.

E pluribus unum Among many, one, solemnly

declared Titico, who pretended to be a Latin-speaking

cosmetician and who never missed High Mass at Our

2


3/24


Lady of Mercy, where all the ladies of high society

worshipped and most of his clients came from. It did not

matter to the hairdresser that his erudite E pluribus unum

did not appear anywhere in the Mass.

At this point the client whose mane Titico was curling

lifted her aristocratic head and commented, A dead

woman, a sign, E pluribus unum, not to mention the

peanut-vendor and the measles Titico, you have notintroduced me to this very interesting young lady so

overflowing with news

My apologies, Countess! the hairdresser groveled

before the lady occupying the barbers chair like Queen

Isabella on the throne. Countess, permit me to introduce

to you Seorita Agustina Perpetua Angustias Dolores de

Cangas de Lamar y Torren de Arteaga y Ponce del

Carrasco y Lazo de la Vega del Tejar y del Pozo,

managing to get it all out just before he finally ran out of

breath.

But they all call me Bon-Bn at the Casino Espaol!

cheerfully piped in the beautiful Camageyan lady,

3


4/24


sending the other lady a bright and grinning smile, full of

teeth.

(Well, thats a relief muttered the countess to

herself.)

Andyou would be ? Bon-Bn then added, her eyelids

already beginning to droop with hauteur.

Noticing this, Titico jumped in and, in an experienced

manner, and taking an even deeper breath, he

announced that the lady on the barbers throne was a

new client, a most distinguished lady from Havana, who

has recently married a Camageyan count. Titico had the

truly district honor to introduce to Bon-Bn Seora

Caridad de las Mercedes del Carmen del Boniato y

Pealver de Crdenas del Calzado y Agravida de Los

Lazos, Countess of (and here Titico did have to take a

second breath) de las Cabezas del Regino y Orbachea de

Izarregui y Sarriegui, managing to get all this out just

before he finally collapsed.

4


5/24


But at the Club, they all call me Kik, interjected the

gorgeous Habanera, the newly revealed Countess Kik.

(God be praised whispered , Bon-Bn looking off to

the side.)

Then turning to the subject at hand, Titico turned to Bon-

Bn and asked her with great insistence, But tell me,

darling, about Lolita, how everdid the peanut-vendor findher?

Its like this, the peanut-vendor knew of this little plot of

land at the cemetery that he had believed for years to be

unused. Well, for the last twenty years or so he has gone

there just to lie down and have a smoke every morning

after his rounds. This morning, though, he goes to the

same little plot andwham! He sees this sign, painted

white like a corpse, with black letters of death all over it,

and Lolitas name and surname, and a poem written on

the sign! concluded Bon-Bn.

A poem for the dead! cried out the countess Kik.

Now, this is the Camagey I came here to experience!

5


6/24


And what did this poem say, Seorita Bon-Bn ? Im a

great lover of literature, you know! Especially when they

write it to dead people

Upon hearing Kikis innocent question, Bon-Bn lit up like

a Christmas tree. This was the moment she had been

waiting for since she burst into Titicos temple of beauty.

Quite slowly, Bon-Bn moved to the center of the beauty

parlor; once there, she stood perfectly still; then shelinked her hands below her ample bosom; and finally

raised her head as if she were addressing the Royal Box

at the Teatro Principal. She then began reciting with little

talent but great pomposity the poem she had made sure

she committed to memory before leaving the peanut-

vendor back at the cemetery and taking off for Titicos

beauty parlor and rumor mill.

Bon-Bn commenced, affecting a phony Spanish accent

and making a lot of sounds that no one who spoke Cuban

Spanish ever made.

Here lies Dolores Rondn,

Her life now come to an end.

6


7/24


Draw nigh, oh man, and ponder(peering at

her audience)

The earthly pursuits, to wit:

Pride and Vanity, (she lifted one index

finger; then, the other) Wealth and Power. (ditto

for the movements)

At this Titico and Kik looked at each other, knowingly,

and nodded their heads smugly, in agreement. Bon-Bnresumed her oratory:

To naught each one shall come.

And immortalized will only be

The evil that is rejected

And the good that in fact is done!

Bon-Bn immediately closed her recitation with a slight

step back and a curtsy. She adopted a downcast and

tragic look, now pondering the verities she had just

prophesied and then steadied herself by resting one of

her well-manicured hands on a cabinet full of curlers.

Immediately, encores and kudos from her audience of

two. Titico even fell to his knees before our Camageyan

7


8/24


Melponene, offering her a bouquet of roses in the form of

a feather duster from the shop.

How wonderful! How marvelous! cried out the

countess Kik. The folly of love! The tragedy of passion!

A love so strong that it overcomes death and separationnot to mention small pox! My breast could beat with such

a love! But just dont tell my husband he would only

take advantage

8

The Tomb of Dolores Rondn,Camagey/


9/24


Me, too! Me, too! chirped in Bon-Bn. I know I could

be loved by a man just as passionate! But, first, being

single, of course, I need to meet one

Ladies! Ladies! Of course, we can all feel that love and

inspire such passionwere Cubans! added

nationalistically Titico. And then he whispered in an

enigmatic tone, On this island, the Tropics weave their

magic spell he trailed off, mysteriously, never quiteexplaining exactly how the Tropics weave that spell or

what they could do for Cubans and their love life.

Suddenly, out of the blue, but returning them all to

reality, this observation from Kik, It must have been a

verybig sign, dont you think? I mean, for Gods sake, all

those words! deduced the lover of fine writing.

Well, Im sure she deserved every last one of them, put

in Titico, diplomatically. The women agreedand then

pursed their lips.

9


10/24


Then the Habanera, the foreigner, blasphemed, But

what does it matter, anyway? Who was this Dolores

Rondn?

Titico and Bon-Bn were stunned, stupefied. Oh, my

dear! In her day Lolita Rondn was one of the most

beautiful people in Camaguey! remarked Bon-Bn, still

in awe.

And are there many of those? asked dryly the countess

from Havana.

One or two, came back the opening salvo from Bon-

Bn, her eyes narrowing.

Titico, perceiving this impending civil war between the

Capital and the provinces, jumped in, cleared this throat,

and explained. In her day, Lolita Rondn was indeed the

most gorgeous woman in Camagey, already a land of

beautiful women, and here he threw a smile at Bon-Bn.

She was shapely and had large, green eyes, and long

black hair, very straight, which always surprised me

because, you know Lolita had a touch of the tar brush,

if you know what I mean said the hairdresser, who

10


11/24


was himself a light-skinned mulatto. When Lolita had

money and was somebody in this town, she was my

client and, believe you me, her hair was as naturally

straight as the Empress of Chinas.

Indian blood! came back in unison from Kik and Bon-

Bn.

But, Titico continued, in her final days she ended up atEl Carmen Hospital, that last stop for the poorest of the

poor, the hairdresser indicated by way of explanation

to the Habanera. And thats where the poor thing died.

They say she was then buried in a paupers grave. They

even took her to the cemetery in the Owl Cart, Bon-Bn

whispered conspiratorially, leaning forward, as if this

aspect of Lolitas death and burial was too awful to even

be said out loud.

The Owl Cart? said Kik, now more perplexed than ever,

as any foreigner to Camagey would have been.

What, in Heavens name, is that?

11


12/24


Its about the worst thing that can happen to you in

Camagey! sighed Titico, remembering his own

childhood in the slums and looking down, very

melancholic, while pulling gray hairs out of a black brush

full of dandruff. Its for the poorest of the poor. Its an

old hearse pulled by this old nag thats on her last leg.

Thats how they buried poor Lolita Rondn, or at least

thats what they say, he concluded in a quiet, tinny

voice, looking like a sad and lost little boy.

Well, true, but its not all bad, her end, I mean, said

Bon-Bn, trying to lighten the mood. She did get to

meet up with an old flame towards the end, didnt she?

While riding in the Owl Cart or once she was dropped off

at the cemetery? asked Kik, now really more confused

than ever.

No! At the hospital for poor people, at El Carmen!

corrected Titico, making a distinction without much of a

difference.

12


13/24


In a hospital ward! How splendid! Like in The Lady of

the Camellias! remarked Kik, undeterred in her

romanticism and now showing off her love of great

drama.

As Fate would have it, philosophized Titico, an old

beau, one Juan Francisco de Moya y Escobar, barber and

phlebotomist, was making a few extra pesos at El Carmen

Hospital drawing blood, when one day, during his rounds,he walks innocently into Infectious Diseases while

carrying a huge jar of African leeches andboom! Who

do you think he runs into if it isnt Lolita Rondn! But, of

course, she didnt look the same.

Who would? chanted in unison Bon-Bn and the

countess, looking at the gilded mirror and then fixing

their hair in perfect synchronicity.

Well, Bon-Bn picked up the tale at this point, Moya

had carried a torch for Lolita forever. Some claimed he

was still in love with her even after she got small pox,

which, according to what they say, is what landed her in

the hospital in the first place.

13


14/24


Oh, yes, small pox! Dr. Finlay! The vaccine! The cows!

Why, I remember that in Havana, we the countess

began to retell, dreamily, yet another tale of her youth.

The fact that Dr. Finlays research involved yellow fever

and not small pox did not deter her in the least. This new

tale, though, was something that immediately sent Titico

and Bon-Bn into such convulsive fits of coughing in a

desperate attempt to stop the story that one would havethought that they both belonged at El Carmen, anything

to prevent his Habanera from drifting off into her own

novel.

Moya had known la Rondn all his life, explained Titico,

desperately trying to get them back on subject. Bon-Bn

nodded in confirmation. When they were youngbut

before she hit it big and became my clientLolita lived on

Cspedes Street and Moya had this little barber shop

somewhere around the corner. I, being a hairdresser, and

Moya, being a barber, we knew each other but only

slightly. Well, Lolitas father also had a shop on that

street, something to do with cloth, or rope, or something

that he sold to the Spanish military. Her father loved her

14


15/24


tremendously and he would spoil Lolita rotten but he

never officially recognized her as his daughter. Despite

that, Lolita was very popular around the neighborhood,

especially when she sang andoh my!how she loved to

sing! Moya, working nearby, would drop whatever he was

doing, whether in his official capacity as a barber or as a

phlebotomist, and would run around the corner to hear

Lolita sing, just to sit there and listen to her sirens song.

Ah! The Song of Love! Why, I remember that when I

was young, back in Havana the countess was off and

running again. However, once again she was soon

reduced to silence by Bon-Bns chronic and incurable

coughing fits, obviously an infectious disease Bon-Bn

had caught from Titico.

Picking up the thread from Titico, Bon-Bn continued,

And a siren is all she ever was with poor Moya. He would

send her love notes; hed send her flowers; hed send her

gifts; and nothing. Lolita was as cold as a glass of

guarapo; she was holding out for bigger game.

15


16/24


And she got it! Titico took over the story now; this was

his favorite part. For the Habanera it was like being in

an operating room and in the presence of two prominent

surgeons, watching them take turns while doing an

autopsy of poor Lolitas life. Yes, one day she finally hit

the jackpot! Titico was so excited over this part of the

story that he had started to jump up and down, clapping

his hands with tiny, little claps. The man she met was to

die for, just to die for! The two women lowered theirheads and exchanged a knowing glance.

But Titico was not to be stopped. He continued

rapturously, He was handsome, and rich, and an officer,

and white! And so rich! Lolitas life changed, I mean, it

changed completely! Now she was married to a Spanish

officer and every day it was an endless series of parties,

and balls, and high society, and the Casino Espaol, and

parades, and even those festivities that celebrated the

restoration of the King in Spain! Oh, the glamour of it

all! Titico then finally landed. The two women were not

saying anything. They were just staring at him, fixedly, a

certain coolness now descending like a glaze over their

eyes.

16


17/24


Titico became more subdued with his storytelling from

that point on. Of course, not all was happiness with that

man of course. One day husband and wife decided to

take a trip back to Spain, where the husband was from,

since he had just made Captain. Well, during what was

supposed to have been the trip of a lifetime, the Captain

up and dies on poor Lolita! And soon after that came the

worst part: Prince Charming had left her penniless,absolutely ruined! He had actually gambled away all

their money during those nights of glamour at the Casino

Espaol! Men!

These memories were just all too much for him. Titico

took an old rinse pan with some dirty water in it and,

looking disgusted, threw the water down the drain. He

then sat down and sighed again, this time deeply,

remembering how men can be.

Bon-Bn saw her chance to regain the spotlight and

grabbed it. Lolita then came back to Cuba, now a

penniless widow, and eventually, she turned up again in

Camagey. From then on began what they call the Lost

17


18/24


Years of Lolita Rondn because, incredible as it may

seem in such a small town, no one has ever found out

what happened to her between the time when she came

back to town and when she got small pox and ended up

at El Carmen. Some wagging tongues say (but not us, of

course!) that during those years Lolita had to rely on the

kindness of strangers.

In that case, what landed her at El Carmen wasnt smallpox, honey Titico observed from experience, putting

away the rinse pan.

Be that as it may, at the end of her days, continued

Bon-Bn, there she was, and there was Moya again, ever

faithfully in love, right by her side. Loyal to the end!

18


19/24


Oh! Camageyan men can be so romantic! exclaimed

the lady from Havana, now married to a Camageyancount. Why do you suppose that is, Bon-Bn?

Personally, I think its from drinking all that rain water

from the tinajones, observed the single Seorita Bon-

19

From the Caprices, by Francisco de Goya (18th c.)/De los Caprichos, por Francisco de Goya (s. 18)


20/24


Bn. To which Titico retorted, Personally, I think its from

wearing pants so tight that they squeeze their

Titico! You hush, now! Bon-Bn tried to appear very

severe while giggling and tapping the naughty

hairdresser with her fan.

Bon-Bn then added, Well, I have to run. Titico, I adore

you! Then to Kik, Countess, it has been a pleasure and

an honor. I will look for you at the Casino Espaol. Andwelcome to our Camagey, warts and all! Love, death,

tombs, and poems. And now Dolores Rondn. Im sure

she will become legendary! Who knows, maybe it was

Moya who wrote that sign, dont you think?

Titico agreed, It was obviously someone who knew her

and who loved her, warts and all.

Abur, abur! cried out Bon-Bn, as she jetted out the

door of the beauty parlor (and rumor mill) the same way

she had come in, then running across Avellaneda Street,

trying to catch up with someone she knew to rehash all

over again the latest on Dolores Rondn. She had

completely forgotten about her hair appointment at

20


21/24


Titicos. Before she left, though, she looked at Titico, then

at the countess, and then back at Titico. Titico

understood perfectly. Next time, Bon-Bn wanted the

reallyjuicy details about that countess Kik. Titico winked

back at her.

What a positively charming young lady Kik said

casually, looking up at Titico in the mirror as he was

finishing her last curl, staring at him as if she were askinghim for something. Titico quickly sized her up: he figured

that she would probably be a good-paying client and that,

after all, she would be living in Camagey from now on.

So, he decided to initiate her. Titico very quietly leaned

forward pretending absolute confidentiality, finally

hissing, Yes, very charming, of course and yet, about

ten years ago, there was a rumor going around town that

and just like thatjust like that!they had moved on

from the life of Dolores Rondn.

Epilog

In 1933, a marble monument, though of modest

proportions, was set up at the expense of the city

government of Camagey to replace the old painted sign

that had first appeared in 1887 carrying la Rondns

21


22/24


epitaph. However, before then, whenever the sign had

shown a need for restoration, the repair would be done

overnight, mysteriously, and by unseen hands. The

marble document may still be seen to this day in the

main cemetery of Camagey. On the eve of the

Communist take-over in 1959, virtually all Camageyans

knew the poem by heartand loved it. Some among the

older generation to this day still remember the verses

perfectly. For them, Dolores Rondn and her tragic storyof love personified Camagey. Bon-Bn had proven to be

an unwittingly accurate prophetess: Lolita had indeed

become a legend.

22


23/24


Notes

Warning to the reader: the author of this collection is a native Camageyan.Here follows, therefore, some guidance: regarding the Church of Our Lady ofMercy, see The Hardest Thing in this collection. Cspedes and

Avellaneda Streets are major streets in the historical center of Camagey.Regarding El Carmen Hospital, see Heaven-sent in this collection. TheTeatro Principal was among the main theaters in Camagey, where greatperformances such as opera, city-wide events, etc., were held. Tinajoneswere very large clay pots where rainwater was collected for drinking andother household uses. This was done almost exclusively in Camagey and,therefore, the tinajones became the very symbol of Camagey. Abur,abur! is Camageyan for Bye-bye! All translations from the originalSpanish or into English are by this author.

The theme of this most famous Camageyan poem is an ancient and

venerable one: the vanitas vanitatis et omnia vanitas of Classicalantiquity, dating back at least to the Old Testament and the Book ofEcclesiastes. In Spanish literature, all the great poets have felt obliged topay homage to it. Among them are two of this authors favorites: PedroCaldern de la Barca (These that were showy and joyful/When at morn theyfirst awoke,/at eventide vain pity shall be/Asleep in the bosom of the coldnight) and Luis de Gngora y Argote (Learn, oh blossoms, from me/Thechanges from day to day,/Yesterday a wonder was I,/Today, would that ashadow Id be), both major luminaries of Spains Golden Age.

Lolitas father was a Spaniard, one Vicente Rams. The name of Lolitas

mother has been lost to History and there is only speculation as to who shemight have been. As Lolita did not carry her fathers name, it is assumedthat she was illegitimate.

The Casino Espaol and colonial politics: a very exclusive club inCamagey, which, during the 1800s, was patronized especially bysympathizers of Spains continuing domination of Cuba. Its patrons,therefore, were mostly Royalists and not Cuban nationalists. Politically,Dolores Rondn may well have been on the side of continuing Spanishdomination of Cuba and not in favor of Cuban independence. Her father wasSpanish and he had regular business dealings with the Spanish military, one

of his clients. In addition, Lolita herself married a Spanish officer (Captain,legend says). Finally, Lolita, as a Royalist, reputedly celebrated therestoration of the Spanish monarchy under Amadeo I of Savoy, in 1870, inMadrid. To Cubans of the Republican period (1902-1959), however, Lolitaspolitical inclinations certainly took a back seat to her dramatic life of passionand death.

23


24/24


History records that in 1863 Camagey was ravaged by a small poxepidemic. This is about the time when Lolita was said to have been seen atthe El Carmen Hospital. This poses a problem of chronology for thehistorian. How could she have been enjoying her best days in 1870 whenshe celebrated King Amadeos coronation as well as the restoration of the

Spanish monarchy but seven years earlier be dying, a penniless widow, in aCamageyan hospital? Regardless, for the legend this apparentcontradiction poses no problem whatsoever.

There are many sites on the Internet with additional information (andsome speculation) on Dolores Rondn and her legend. A good andestablished source is Dr. Abel Marrero Camponionis essay inwww.camagueycuba.org.

* * *

24
http://www.camagueycuba.org/http://www.camagueycuba.org/

Isnâ€™t It Romantic?

Documents

Isnâ€™t It Romantic?