Corporate Class Inc.44 Charles Street WestSuite 4711Toronto, Canada M4Y 1R8
Tel 416-967-1221Fax 416-967-2818
General [email protected]
Web Sitewww.corporateclassinc.com Copyright © 2003 - 2007 Corporate Class Inc. - All Rights ReservedCopyright © 2003 - 2007 Corporate Class Inc. - All Rights Reserved
BODY LANGUAGE
BODY LANGUAGE
Corporate Class Inc.44 Charles Street WestSuite 4711Toronto, Canada M4Y 1R8
Tel 416-967-1221Fax 416-967-2818
General [email protected]
Web Sitewww.corporateclassinc.com Copyright © 2003 - 2007 Corporate Class Inc. - All Rights ReservedCopyright © 2003 - 2007 Corporate Class Inc. - All Rights Reserved
BODY LANGUAGE
BODY LANGUAGE
Corporate Class Inc. - North American Business Etiquette 1
Copyright ©
2003 - 2007 Corporate C
lass Inc. - All R
ights Reserved
CORPORATE CLASS INC. NORTH AMERICAN BUSINESS ETIQUETTE
Corporate Class Inc.
44 Charles Street West
Suite 4711
Toronto, Canada M4Y 1R8
Tel 416-967-1221
Fax 416-967-2818
General Inquiries
Web Site
www.corporateclassinc.com
Copyright © 2003-2007, Corporate Class Inc. - All Rights Reserved Corporate Class Inc. owns all rights to these materials. Corporate Class Inc. is licensing these materials for use by one individual only, whether for private use or in connection with any training course in which these materials are provided. No part of this publication, nor any materials used in this training session may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted in any form by any process – electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise. No rights to reproduce, transfer, assign or create, in whole or in part, derivative works based on these materials are granted without the express written consent of Corporate Class Inc.
Corporate Class Inc. - North American Business Etiquette 3
Copyright ©
2003 - 2007 Corporate C
lass Inc. - All R
ights Reserved
CORPORATE CLASS INC. NORTH AMERICAN BUSINESS ETIQUETTE
Corporate Class Inc.
44 Charles Street West
Suite 4711
Toronto, Canada M4Y 1R8
Tel 416-967-1221
Fax 416-967-2818
General Inquiries
Web Site
www.corporateclassinc.com
TABLE OF CONTENTS
WORKSHOP INTRODUCTIONAbout Corporate Class Inc. Diane CraigPoised for Success: The Starting PointSetting My Goals
INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION ETIQUETTEOverviewInterpersonal Communication Etiquette TestBody Language Eye ContactThe Handshake
579
10
1115172730
Corporate Class Inc. - North American Business Etiquette 5
Copyright ©
2003 - 2007 Corporate C
lass Inc. - All R
ights Reserved
CORPORATE CLASS INC. NORTH AMERICAN BUSINESS ETIQUETTE
Corporate Class Inc.
44 Charles Street West
Suite 4711
Toronto, Canada M4Y 1R8
Tel 416-967-1221
Fax 416-967-2818
General Inquiries
Web Site
www.corporateclassinc.com
About Corporate Calss Inc.
Corporate Class Inc. provides training solutions, advice and consultation in
contemporary business etiquette, international protocol, social etiquette, dining
etiquette, and dress and decorum. Our mission is to give the knowledge and
tools needed to present a polished, professional image – an image that conveys
intelligence and poise and that inspires confidence in your clients and within
your company.
With offices in Toronto and Ottawa, Corporate Class Inc. has been helping
organizations and individuals succeed since 1981. We have worked one-on-
one with executives, politicians, sales professionals, and recent university
graduates. We have delivered workshops to organizations such as Bell Canada,
Canada Post Corporation and Queen’s University School of Business, to name
a few of our clients. Whether you are looking to enhance your personal and
professional image, or sharpen your company’s competitive edge, Corporate
Class Inc. can help you achieve your goals.
Corporate Class Inc. - North American Business Etiquette 7
Copyright ©
2003 - 2007 Corporate C
lass Inc. - All R
ights Reserved
CORPORATE CLASS INC. NORTH AMERICAN BUSINESS ETIQUETTE
Corporate Class Inc.
44 Charles Street West
Suite 4711
Toronto, Canada M4Y 1R8
Tel 416-967-1221
Fax 416-967-2818
General Inquiries
Web Site
www.corporateclassinc.com
Diane Craig
Ms. Craig has dedicated her career to the development and enhancement
of the professional image of individuals and organizations. She is a graduate
of the Protocol School of Washington, and holds a Certificate in Intercultural
Studies from the University of British Columbia. Ms. Craig provides the
most expert training and consultation available in national and international
business protocol.
Ms. Craig is an alumna of L’Académie des Hauts Couturiers Canadiens, and
was an instructor at the Richard Robinson School of Fashion Design in Ottawa.
Her extensive training in fashion, combined with several years of experience
working with professionals and politicians, has earned her a top spot as an
image consultant.
Her views are often quoted in the daily press such as The Globe and Mail and
The National Post. Ms. Craig has appeared on programs such as The National
on CBC and Canada AM on CTV. In 2004 Ms. Craig received the Meritorious
Service Medal from the Governor General of Canada, Her Excellency Adrienne
Clarkson for her volunteer work.
Corporate Class Inc. - North American Business Etiquette 9
Copyright ©
2003 - 2007 Corporate C
lass Inc. - All R
ights Reserved
CORPORATE CLASS INC. NORTH AMERICAN BUSINESS ETIQUETTE
Corporate Class Inc.
44 Charles Street West
Suite 4711
Toronto, Canada M4Y 1R8
Tel 416-967-1221
Fax 416-967-2818
General Inquiries
Web Site
www.corporateclassinc.com
Poised for Success: The Starting Point
Hello and welcome to the Corporate Class Inc. North American Business
Etiquette workshop. We are here today to unravel the mysteries of protocol
and etiquette, and to demystify the intricacies of human interaction. In the
process, we will be building and enhancing skills that will help you strengthen
your business relationships and improve your personal and professional image.
Represent your company with poise and class.
In today’s competitive environment, image and style are often the deciding
factors that can make or break a deal. While we will never really know how
many opportunities have been missed because of an unintended lapse in
manners, we do know that, in order to survive and succeed in these fast and
often turbulent times, we must stand apart from the competition. Depending
on the nature of your business and the market in which you operate, this
could mean offering better products and services, or lower prices, or both.
But regardless of the type of business and industry you are in, there is one
sure way to sharpen your competitive edge: Outclass your competition by
presenting a credible, trustworthy image – the kind with whom you would
want to do business.
Corporate Class Inc. - North American Business Etiquette 10
Copyright ©
2003 - 2007 Corporate C
lass Inc. - All R
ights Reserved
CORPORATE CLASS INC. NORTH AMERICAN BUSINESS ETIQUETTE
Corporate Class Inc.
44 Charles Street West
Suite 4711
Toronto, Canada M4Y 1R8
Tel 416-967-1221
Fax 416-967-2818
General Inquiries
Web Site
www.corporateclassinc.com
SETTING MY GOALS
What do I want to achieve by participating in this workshop?
(Please write down the 5 key objectives you wish to accomplish and why
they’re important to you.)
How will I know when I’ve achieved my objectives? (Please be specific.)
What etiquette or protocol questions do I wish to have answered?
11
INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION ETIQUETTE
Corporate Class Inc. - North American Business Etiquette
Copyright ©
2003 - 2007 Corporate C
lass Inc. - All R
ights Reserved
Corporate Class Inc.
44 Charles Street West
Suite 4711
Toronto, Canada M4Y 1R8
Tel 416-967-1221
Fax 416-967-2818
General Inquiries
Web Site
www.corporateclassinc.com
A well-known author who won a prestigious British award for her first collection of short stories recalls a private audience she had with the Queen of England. “What struck me most,” says the author, “was that I knew the very moment the meeting was finished, even though the Queen never really said anything to that effect. But her body language, and the subtle change in her tone of voice, told me it was time for me to stand up and take my leave.”
The Quintessential Differentiator
A number of things come into play when we communicate with each
other: the words we say, our tone and cadence of speech, our stance and
unconscious body movements, and our deliberate actions. In business,
how effectively you convey your message and image, and how astutely
you interpret and respond to other people’s signals, can spell the difference
between a failed or successful negotiation, a stalled career or a promotion, and
a disgruntled or satisfied customer. This is where communication etiquette
comes in.
Effective communication etiquette is, essentially, a code of civil behaviour
based on respect, understanding, consideration and logic. It is about putting
your best foot forward each time and conducting yourself in a way that tells
people you have the intelligence and generosity of nature to recognize their
needs. It is about class, that quintessential differentiator.
12
INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION ETIQUETTE
Corporate Class Inc. - North American Business Etiquette
Copyright ©
2003 - 2007 Corporate C
lass Inc. - All R
ights Reserved
Corporate Class Inc.
44 Charles Street West
Suite 4711
Toronto, Canada M4Y 1R8
Tel 416-967-1221
Fax 416-967-2818
General Inquiries
Web Site
www.corporateclassinc.com
OVERVIEW
The purpose of this section is to help you develop skills to:
Read other people’s body language and control our own;
Use eye contact to build rapport and convey self-assurance;
Execute the perfect handshake;
Communication etiquette is a subtle art, but its impact is significant and the
impression it leaves is long-lasting – though perhaps not as enduring as the
impression left behind by a careless faux pas or, worse, an inconsiderate act
or unacceptable behaviour. Good communication etiquette is essential in every
aspect of our lives, but none more so than in business. Integrating this subtle art
skillfully into your business practices requires little money and effort; failing to do
so could cost you dearly.
13
INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION ETIQUETTE
Corporate Class Inc. - North American Business Etiquette
Copyright ©
2003 - 2007 Corporate C
lass Inc. - All R
ights Reserved
Corporate Class Inc.
44 Charles Street West
Suite 4711
Toronto, Canada M4Y 1R8
Tel 416-967-1221
Fax 416-967-2818
General Inquiries
Web Site
www.corporateclassinc.com
SETTING MY GOALS
What communication habits or skills would I like to change, improve or
develop to ensure I appear respectful and considerate at all times?
What communication etiquette questions would I like to have answered?
Take the communication etiquette test!
14
INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION ETIQUETTE
Corporate Class Inc. - North American Business Etiquette
Copyright ©
2003 - 2007 Corporate C
lass Inc. - All R
ights Reserved
Corporate Class Inc.
44 Charles Street West
Suite 4711
Toronto, Canada M4Y 1R8
Tel 416-967-1221
Fax 416-967-2818
General Inquiries
Web Site
www.corporateclassinc.com
Do you act as you must, or as you feel? As professionals, our actions must be
guided by protocol and etiquette, and not by our whims and impulses.
What guides your actions? Do you have the knowledge and skills required
to manoeuvre through the minefields of a negotiation, or over the awkward
bumps that could potentially derail a social gathering? Test your knowledge of
communication etiquette by answering the multiple-choice questions on the
following page.
15
INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION ETIQUETTE
Corporate Class Inc. - North American Business Etiquette
Copyright ©
2003 - 2007 Corporate C
lass Inc. - All R
ights Reserved
Corporate Class Inc.
44 Charles Street West
Suite 4711
Toronto, Canada M4Y 1R8
Tel 416-967-1221
Fax 416-967-2818
General Inquiries
Web Site
www.corporateclassinc.com
1. You are at a party where a new acquaintance is taking you around and introducing you to all the guests. Your name is Anya and she is telling everyone to say ‘hello’ to Anna. What should you do?
a) To avoid embarrassing your gracious and well-meaning new friend, wait until all introductions are complete and then correct her after.b) Inform her immediately of her unintended error.c) Your friend will be embarrassed whether you correct her now or later, so you will just let it pass.d) When your friend is out of earshot, tell the other guests what your real name is.
2. You are in the middle of a meeting with an important client, Ms. Baker, when the president of your company, Mr. Chen, walks in. The two have never met, so you:
a) Rise from your chair and say, “Mr. Chen, I’d like to introduce Ms. Baker, one of the buyers at Great Foods.”b) Defer to Mr. Chen’s authority and allow him to take the lead in introducing himself to Ms. Baker.c) Rise from your chair and say, “Ms. Baker, I’d like to introduce Mr. Chen, our president.”d) Mr. Chen is interrupting your meeting. To avoid wasting Ms. Baker’s time, you nod briefly at him and continue with your meeting.
3. You meet a new client for the first time in their office. To build rapport and increase the effectiveness of your meeting, you:
a) Give the client some details of your upcoming weekend with your family in the hopes that the client will find it interesting. b) Remain silent to impress upon the client your ability to listen attentively until the client asks you a question. c) Keenly observe the client’s mannerisms and copy those behaviours in order to make the client think that you are both similar. d) Glance around the client’s office before you are seated and then immediately ask a question about one of the items you see that you find interesting in order to get the client talking.
16
INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION ETIQUETTE
Corporate Class Inc. - North American Business Etiquette
Copyright ©
2003 - 2007 Corporate C
lass Inc. - All R
ights Reserved
Corporate Class Inc.
44 Charles Street West
Suite 4711
Toronto, Canada M4Y 1R8
Tel 416-967-1221
Fax 416-967-2818
General Inquiries
Web Site
www.corporateclassinc.com
4. You are at your company’s holiday party and one of your colleagues has just made an offensive joke. To diffuse the tension, you:
a) Laugh at the joke to spare your colleague embarrassment. But you intend to talk to him about it in private the next day.b) Reprimand your colleague in a light and joking manner. This puts everyone at ease while letting your colleague know his joke was inappropriate.c) Change the subject immediately.d) Tell a joke of your own to counter the negative effects of your colleague’s joke.
5. You are seated at your desk when a group of visitors walks in. To welcome them, you:
a) Rise, move to the front of your desk and initiate a handshake with the leader of the group. Then allow the leader to make the introductions. b) Rise to welcome them and offer them seats right away. Once they are all seated, approach each one, initiate a handshake and exchange introductions or salutations.c) Rise, move to the front of your desk and initiate handshakes with everyone.d) Rise and defer introductions to the leader of the group.
Did you act as you must, or as you feel?
17
INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION ETIQUETTE BODY LANGUAGE
Corporate Class Inc. - North American Business Etiquette
Copyright ©
2003 - 2007 Corporate C
lass Inc. - All R
ights Reserved
Corporate Class Inc.
44 Charles Street West
Suite 4711
Toronto, Canada M4Y 1R8
Tel 416-967-1221
Fax 416-967-2818
General Inquiries
Web Site
www.corporateclassinc.com
“Frequently the human animal is unaware of his actions – which makes them all the more revealing.” -- Desmond Morris,Manwatching
Deciphering Our Silent Signals
It is the silent monologue you deliver during most of your waking hours, a
string of unspoken messages that either support or deny your words, or that
hint at your feelings when you are silent. It is body language, defined by Oxford
Dictionary as “the process of communication using conscious or unconscious
gestures or expressions.”
Using body language to enhance your communication and interpersonal skills
requires the ability to read other people’s signals while learning to control your
own. Master these skills and you will make a quantum leap in human interaction.
Apply them in business and you will find yourself on a fast track to success.
18
BODY LANGUAGEINTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION ETIQUETTE
Corporate Class Inc. - North American Business Etiquette
Copyright ©
2003 - 2007 Corporate C
lass Inc. - All R
ights Reserved
Corporate Class Inc.
44 Charles Street West
Suite 4711
Toronto, Canada M4Y 1R8
Tel 416-967-1221
Fax 416-967-2818
General Inquiries
Web Site
www.corporateclassinc.com
Did you know...
The average attention span is one to three seconds?When speaking English, we utter between 125 and 140 words per minute? When conversing in French or Italian, we speak between 145 and 170 words per minute.We hear an average of 650 words per minute.
We see what we want to see.1
If we know what to look for, we can see what we need to see.
1 Source of image: W.E. Hill, published in Puck, November 6, 1915; appeared in Edwin G. Boring, “A New Ambiguous Figure,” American Journal of Psychology, July, 1930, p.444
19
BODY LANGUAGEINTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION ETIQUETTE
Corporate Class Inc. - North American Business Etiquette
Copyright ©
2003 - 2007 Corporate C
lass Inc. - All R
ights Reserved
Corporate Class Inc.
44 Charles Street West
Suite 4711
Toronto, Canada M4Y 1R8
Tel 416-967-1221
Fax 416-967-2818
General Inquiries
Web Site
www.corporateclassinc.com
The Seven C’s of Body Language
1. Consciousness
We are all experts at body language; we just choose to ignore it most of
the time! We must learn to use our ears, eyes, nose, and hands to get the
real sense of what is being said. To communicate effectively, we need to
pay attention to our own body language. At the same time, we have to be
conscious of the body language of others in order to respond appropriately to
what is being said non-verbally as well as verbally.
2. Clusters
We cannot read a person’s body language by looking at only one gesture. That
would be similar to interpreting the meaning of an entire paragraph based on a
single word. In body language, we create and take away impressions through
a complex collage of gestures and words where one gesture is equal to one
word in a sentence. To get the whole sentence, we must look at the cluster of
gestures.
3. Congruence
Congruence means harmony. In body language, congruence means the body
is saying exactly the same thing as the words. For example, a friend whom
you have not seen for a while is saying, “It’s been so nice seeing you again,
we really must make arrangements to get together more often.” At the same
time, her body language is open and positive – she is smiling, nodding her
head, making comfortable eye contact and gesturing invitingly with her hand.
She is displaying congruency, an indication that she is sincere. If, on the other
hand, negative body language – a hard-set jaw, immobile head, fidgety hands
and avoidance of eye contact – accompanies the words, then you would have
to wonder about the sincerity of your friend’s statement.
20
BODY LANGUAGEINTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION ETIQUETTE
Corporate Class Inc. - North American Business Etiquette
Copyright ©
2003 - 2007 Corporate C
lass Inc. - All R
ights Reserved
Corporate Class Inc.
44 Charles Street West
Suite 4711
Toronto, Canada M4Y 1R8
Tel 416-967-1221
Fax 416-967-2818
General Inquiries
Web Site
www.corporateclassinc.com
Are you getting mixed signals?
When you notice a person’s body language is incongruent with his or her words, focus on it and become aware of it.
Ask yourself if this is an intended gesture in response to the message you are communicating or simply a habit or mannerism.
Check it out by asking:
“Is everything all right?”
“You seem a little unsure?”
“Have I said something you aren’t clear about?”
“You look distracted, is there something wrong?”
“I’m not sure I’ve made myself clear. Would you like me to clarify what I’ve said?”
These should be subtle enough to give the other person an opportunity
to bring the non-verbal messages out into the open and express their
true feelings.
21
BODY LANGUAGEINTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION ETIQUETTE
Corporate Class Inc. - North American Business Etiquette
Copyright ©
2003 - 2007 Corporate C
lass Inc. - All R
ights Reserved
Corporate Class Inc.
44 Charles Street West
Suite 4711
Toronto, Canada M4Y 1R8
Tel 416-967-1221
Fax 416-967-2818
General Inquiries
Web Site
www.corporateclassinc.com
4. Changes
Be alert to changes in a person’s body language; these changes sometimes
belie the words that accompany them. Desmond Morris, the renowned
zoologist and anthropologist, refers to these contradicting signals as “non-
verbal leakage.” In most people, this non-verbal leakage occurs in the legs and
feet, an area of the body we are least aware of and, therefore, least able to
control. The movement of our hands and arms, and the posture of our torso are
also potential leak sources. Our face – the part of our body whose actions we
are most aware of – is the easiest part to discipline. Therefore, when reading
a person’s signals, do not limit your observations to the face. Pay attention to
the area below the shoulders, and watch for changes in this area as the person
speaks.
Face
Hands
Feet
22
BODY LANGUAGEINTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION ETIQUETTE
Corporate Class Inc. - North American Business Etiquette
Copyright ©
2003 - 2007 Corporate C
lass Inc. - All R
ights Reserved
Corporate Class Inc.
44 Charles Street West
Suite 4711
Toronto, Canada M4Y 1R8
Tel 416-967-1221
Fax 416-967-2818
General Inquiries
Web Site
www.corporateclassinc.com
5. Concentrate
Building Rapport by Mirroring, Pacing and Leading
Using your understanding of non-verbal communication, you can build rapport
and increase the effectiveness of your presentations by employing the following:
Mirroring
Good friends or spouses often
display the same postures or
gestures when conversing.
Their heads may be tilted at
the same angle, mirror each
other’s facial expressions, or
lean toward each other in a
symmetrical fashion. They may
be so harmonized with each
other that even their eye contact is synchronized. To establish a similar kind of
harmony with your clients and colleagues, mirror their posture, head tilt, hand
movements. By “speaking” in a non-verbal language to which they can relate,
you are putting them at ease and increasing their receptiveness to you.
23
BODY LANGUAGEINTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION ETIQUETTE
Corporate Class Inc. - North American Business Etiquette
Copyright ©
2003 - 2007 Corporate C
lass Inc. - All R
ights Reserved
Corporate Class Inc.
44 Charles Street West
Suite 4711
Toronto, Canada M4Y 1R8
Tel 416-967-1221
Fax 416-967-2818
General Inquiries
Web Site
www.corporateclassinc.com
Pacing
This refers to how tightly your mirrored gestures follow those of your listener.
Clearly, in the first five minutes of a conversation, you can mirror very few
gestures and this is preferable to maintain the desired subtlety. However,
after 15 minutes, as you begin to pick up the syntax of a person’s non-verbal
language, your mirroring can follow more closely. A caveat: If you betray even
a hint of mimicking the speaker’s gestures, you will have lost much more than
what successful mirroring could ever bring you.
Leading
When it is your turn to speak, or pitch a new product, it is often useful to
continue to use the borrowed gestures to elicit, in your listener, the responses
you want. If leaning forward with outstretched hands was his or her way of
expressing a dilemma, do the same. This can lead the person to perhaps better
understand the problem you are trying to resolve. And, when you present your
solution to the problem, express the positive points with the same non-verbal
intensity you witnessed before, perhaps moving forward on the seat of your
chair, allowing a half smile, and gesticulating with two beats of the index finger
of your right hand.
24
BODY LANGUAGEINTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION ETIQUETTE
Corporate Class Inc. - North American Business Etiquette
Copyright ©
2003 - 2007 Corporate C
lass Inc. - All R
ights Reserved
Corporate Class Inc.
44 Charles Street West
Suite 4711
Toronto, Canada M4Y 1R8
Tel 416-967-1221
Fax 416-967-2818
General Inquiries
Web Site
www.corporateclassinc.com
With practice and subtlety, mirroring, pacing, and leading can be effective in
many cases. Important: the overall goal is to make people comfortable and
more attentive.
Getting to the truth in an interview
An excerpt from the RCMP GAZETTE Vol.65, No.3, 2003.
We know that matching and mirroring body language, for instance, will create
rapport and trust. Not just body language but voice tone. If you’re in a really
somber, serious mood and I come in like Tony Robbins: “Hey, How’re ya
doing!” then we’re not going to connect.
You want to use a little bit of the same language as they’re using, the same
mood and the same rhythm. So for example, if they’re closed (interviewee has
arms crossed), then you close with them. And research shows that if you open
up (interviewer uncrosses his/her arms), within 90 seconds, they will follow
you. And if you open up physically, you open up psychologically.
Similarly in an emotional interview, when someone’s really pumped and angry,
then you get at the same intensity as them and then you come down and
they’ll follow you down. It’s a very powerful and subtle way to manage the
mood and direction of an interview.
25
BODY LANGUAGEINTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION ETIQUETTE
Corporate Class Inc. - North American Business Etiquette
Copyright ©
2003 - 2007 Corporate C
lass Inc. - All R
ights Reserved
Corporate Class Inc.
44 Charles Street West
Suite 4711
Toronto, Canada M4Y 1R8
Tel 416-967-1221
Fax 416-967-2818
General Inquiries
Web Site
www.corporateclassinc.com
6. Culture
While some signals are universal – such as the practice of smiling and raising
our eyebrows when we greet someone – body language can vary from region
to region, and from country to country. If you plan to do business abroad, take
the time to research your destination’s culture and to learn as much as you can
about the communication cues most commonly used in that region. Observe
local people’s gestures, while controlling your own. And as you would at home,
use the techniques of mirroring, pacing and leading whenever appropriate to
establish rapport and credibility.
A world of difference *
Like the words we speak, body language can take on different meanings when
articulated in other parts of the world.
Australia: Thumbs up = Rude (the same in the Arab world); is also used for hitchhiking.
Belgium: Talking with one’s hand in one’s pocket is very rude.
China: Do not like to be touched by people they do not know.
France: The American sign OK (index and thumb together) means “zilch” or zero.
Japan: The American sign OK means money; direct eye contact is not the norm; smile can mean pleasure and also self-control (for example: hiding displeasure).
Pakistan: Muslim men avoid touching women. They will nod instead of shaking hands.
* For additional information please inquire about our international business etiquette solutions.
26
BODY LANGUAGEINTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION ETIQUETTE
Corporate Class Inc. - North American Business Etiquette
Copyright ©
2003 - 2007 Corporate C
lass Inc. - All R
ights Reserved
Corporate Class Inc.
44 Charles Street West
Suite 4711
Toronto, Canada M4Y 1R8
Tel 416-967-1221
Fax 416-967-2818
General Inquiries
Web Site
www.corporateclassinc.com
7. Control
We are always sending messages and we are always being read. To ensure
that your body always conveys the right message, learn to control your facial
expressions, stances, gestures and tonality. This takes a lot of practice and
requires you to be constantly aware of what you are doing, but be assured that
over time, this will become a natural part of your everyday interactions.
27
EYE CONTACTINTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION ETIQUETTE
Corporate Class Inc. - North American Business Etiquette
Copyright ©
2003 - 2007 Corporate C
lass Inc. - All R
ights Reserved
Corporate Class Inc.
44 Charles Street West
Suite 4711
Toronto, Canada M4Y 1R8
Tel 416-967-1221
Fax 416-967-2818
General Inquiries
Web Site
www.corporateclassinc.com
Our eyes are amongst the most eloquent parts of our body, capable of
expressing a wide range of emotions – from love to hatred, approval to disdain,
enthusiasm to indifference. The eyes, as the expression goes, really do have it.
In North American culture, it is important to maintain eye contact with your
listeners when you are speaking with them. This indicates that you are self-
assured and sincere. Good eye
contact also compels the listener to
keep listening to you, and keeps the
conversation flowing.
In business, good eye contact is
an integral part of presenting a
professional and credible image.
Whether you are talking to a
prospective employer in a job
interview, or explaining the benefits
of your products to a potential client,
establishing and maintaining an
appropriate level of eye contact is a must. In fact, communication research
tells us that our messages will be received more favourably when we make
more eye contact. And the more you increase your eye contact, the more
powerful you will be perceived.
28
EYE CONTACTINTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION ETIQUETTE
Corporate Class Inc. - North American Business Etiquette
Copyright ©
2003 - 2007 Corporate C
lass Inc. - All R
ights Reserved
Corporate Class Inc.
44 Charles Street West
Suite 4711
Toronto, Canada M4Y 1R8
Tel 416-967-1221
Fax 416-967-2818
General Inquiries
Web Site
www.corporateclassinc.com
A look at eye contact in other cultures
In other cultures – such as Chinese or Aboriginal – it is considered inappropriate
to look directly at a person, especially if that person is in a position of authority.
This may explain why teachers sometimes think that some of their students,
who tend to divert their gaze away from their instructors, “tune out” in class.
Do’s and don’ts:
Do use your eyes to establish a rapport.
Do use eye contact to draw the listener to you, so that your words will have the most impact.
Do be aware that looking over the shoulder of the person with whom you are speaking could be perceived as disinterest or rudeness. If the reason you are doing this is because you are waiting for someone to arrive, then be sure to explain this.
Do look at the server, and not at the menu, when you are ordering food in a restaurant.
Don’t look at people for too long, or too intensely; this can make them feel uncomfortable.
Don’t make too little eye contact; this conveys disinterest or insincerity.
29
EYE CONTACTINTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION ETIQUETTE
Corporate Class Inc. - North American Business Etiquette
Copyright ©
2003 - 2007 Corporate C
lass Inc. - All R
ights Reserved
Corporate Class Inc.
44 Charles Street West
Suite 4711
Toronto, Canada M4Y 1R8
Tel 416-967-1221
Fax 416-967-2818
General Inquiries
Web Site
www.corporateclassinc.com
The different kinds of eye contact
The Business Gaze is used during a business or more serious discussion:
focus your gaze either just above or directly at the other person’s eyes.
.
The Social Gaze is directed between the eyes and the mouth.
The Intimate Gaze plays across the eyes and below the chin. Men and
women use this gaze, consciously or otherwise, to convey interest in each
other.
When people shut their eyes for a few seconds and avoid eye contact, they are
generally indicating that they no longer wish to listen.
Business Gaze Social Gaze Intimate Gaze
30
THE HANDSHAKEINTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION ETIQUETTE
Corporate Class Inc. - North American Business Etiquette
Copyright ©
2003 - 2007 Corporate C
lass Inc. - All R
ights Reserved
Corporate Class Inc.
44 Charles Street West
Suite 4711
Toronto, Canada M4Y 1R8
Tel 416-967-1221
Fax 416-967-2818
General Inquiries
Web Site
www.corporateclassinc.com
Getting a grip on the handshake
In business and social situations, the handshake is the most acceptable form of
touch. In fact, a handshake is an accepted greeting in almost every country.
How we shake hands communicates who we are, and how we feel about
ourselves and the people we meet. It tells people whether we are confident or
shy, decisive or tentative, friendly or aloof and, consequently, influences how
people perceive and treat us. A handshake can, in a very subtle way, establish
the balance of power during a meeting; the person who extends a hand first
immediately gains an advantage over the other person.
When should you shake hands?
31
THE HANDSHAKEINTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION ETIQUETTE
Corporate Class Inc. - North American Business Etiquette
Copyright ©
2003 - 2007 Corporate C
lass Inc. - All R
ights Reserved
Corporate Class Inc.
44 Charles Street West
Suite 4711
Toronto, Canada M4Y 1R8
Tel 416-967-1221
Fax 416-967-2818
General Inquiries
Web Site
www.corporateclassinc.com
Executing the perfect handshake
Extend your right hand with confidence and
get ready to connect. Keep your thumb up
and fingers straight to make it easy for others
to grasp your hand fully.
Connect with the other person’s hand web-
to-web. Ensure your hand is in a horizontal
position when you are connecting.
Move your right forearm – from the elbow to
your hand – up and down no more than two
times. This should be sufficient to complete a
handshake.
Release.
1
2
3
4
32
THE HANDSHAKEINTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION ETIQUETTE
Corporate Class Inc. - North American Business Etiquette
Copyright ©
2003 - 2007 Corporate C
lass Inc. - All R
ights Reserved
Corporate Class Inc.
44 Charles Street West
Suite 4711
Toronto, Canada M4Y 1R8
Tel 416-967-1221
Fax 416-967-2818
General Inquiries
Web Site
www.corporateclassinc.com
Incorrect forms of handshakes
The Bone Crusher
The Glove Handshake
The Fingertip Holder
We have all experienced these handshakes at one time or another. What was your
impression of the person delivering it and how did this first contact impact your
conversation or business meeting?
33
THE HANDSHAKEINTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION ETIQUETTE
Corporate Class Inc. - North American Business Etiquette
Copyright ©
2003 - 2007 Corporate C
lass Inc. - All R
ights Reserved
Corporate Class Inc.
44 Charles Street West
Suite 4711
Toronto, Canada M4Y 1R8
Tel 416-967-1221
Fax 416-967-2818
General Inquiries
Web Site
www.corporateclassinc.com
Try your hand at this exercise!
How well do you understand handshake etiquette? Test your knowledge by
answering the following questions with True (T) or False (F).
Before leaving for a business or social gathering, apply a bit of perfume or scented lotion on your hands. This sends out the message that you are fastidious and take pride in your grooming.
Keep your drink in your left hand during a cocktail party. Your right hand should always be free.
If your hands tend to be clammy, try applying a fragrance-free antiperspirant.
Rings on your right-hand fingers can interfere with a handshake.
Women should always initiate a handshake, and men should always wait for a woman to extend her hand.
It is ill-mannered to refuse to shake someone’s hand when they have a cold.
If a person fails to notice your extended hand, avoid embarrassing them by just walking away and trying again later.
Your name badge is placed on the left side.
Are you an old hand when it comes to handshakes?
Corporate Class Inc. - North American Business Etiquette 34
Copyright ©
2003 - 2007 Corporate C
lass Inc. - All R
ights Reserved
CORPORATE CLASS INC. NORTH AMERICAN BUSINESS ETIQUETTE
Corporate Class Inc.
44 Charles Street West
Suite 4711
Toronto, Canada M4Y 1R8
Tel 416-967-1221
Fax 416-967-2818
General Inquiries
Web Site
www.corporateclassinc.com
FINAL THOUGHTS
We trust you will find this guide to be a very handy tool for many years to
come. You now have techniques, tips and advice to carry you successfully
through any business situation. You are able to better understand the
many challenges of business and the solutions available to deal with them.
Discipline is the key and practice makes perfect!
We sincerely hope that we have informed and equipped you with the skills to
interact more effectively, comfortably and confidently with co-workers, clients
and other key stakeholders, both on the job and in everyday life.
We wish you much success in all your endeavours!
Please contact us at [email protected] should you have any
questions.
Enjoy!
Diane Craig