ATHABASCA UNIVERSITY
UNIVERSITY OF CALGARY
UNIVERSITY OF LETHBRIDGE
SOCIAL SKILLS GROUP COUNSELLING IN SCHOOLS
BY
LUCY TOMIYAMA
A Final Project submitted to the
Campus Alberta Applied Psychology: Counselling Initiative
in partial fulfillment of the requirements for the degree of
MASTER OF COUNSELLING
Alberta
November 2006
ABSTRACT
Deficits in social skills and social competence play a significant role in the development and
maintenance of behavioral problems of children in school. Children need a variety of
experiences interacting with their peers in order to practice these skills. Group counselling is
being recognized as a valuable approach in helping children increase their ability to perform
social behaviors that are important for them to achieve success in school. This project
reviews the literature about group counselling and its effectiveness for social skills training in
schools. In addition, a facilitator’s manual for Social Skills Group Counselling is presented to
provide school counsellors with a resource that they will be able to implement as part of their
school counselling program.
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ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
I would like to acknowledge Dr. Bryan Hiebert for supervising my final project. I
would never have been able to complete this project without his patience and flexibility. I
would like to thank my husband Larry, whose love and support kept me going when I
thought I couldn’t do it anymore, and my children, Jess and Jordan, who had no choice but to
hang in there and go with the flow. To Pam, thank you for your friendship and ongoing
encouragement. To the staff at Cardinal Newman Elementary and Junior High, thank you for
caring.
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TABLE OF CONTENTS
ABSTRACT............................................................................................................................... i
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS ........................................................................................................ ii
TABLE OF CONTENTS......................................................................................................... iii
CHAPTER I .............................................................................................................................. 1
Introduction................................................................................................................... 1
Need For A Manual .......................................................................................... 3
Structure of Project Document.......................................................................... 4
CHAPTER II............................................................................................................................. 5
Theoretical Foundations................................................................................................ 5
Effectiveness of Group Interventions ............................................................... 5
Criteria for Group Membership ........................................................................ 7
Selecting Group Participants............................................................................. 8
Risk Factors .................................................................................................... 10
Duration and Frequency of Meetings ............................................................. 10
Cultural Integration......................................................................................... 12
Core Strategies and Techniques...................................................................... 13
Group Leadership Style and Skills ................................................................. 13
Evaluation ....................................................................................................... 14
Conclusion ...................................................................................................... 14
CHAPTER III ......................................................................................................................... 16
Procedures................................................................................................................... 16
Background..................................................................................................... 16
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Conducting a Literature Review ..................................................................... 17
Collaborating with School Staff...................................................................... 17
CHAPTER IV ......................................................................................................................... 18
Synthesis and Implications ......................................................................................... 18
Impact of the Project....................................................................................... 18
Limitations of the Project................................................................................ 19
Conclusion ...................................................................................................... 20
REFERENCES ....................................................................................................................... 21
APPENDIX............................................................................................................................. 26
Manual for Friendship Group: Social Skills Training for Elementary Grades........... 26
HOW TO USE THIS MANUAL.................................................................... 30
GROUP STRUCTURE AND ORGANIZATION.......................................... 31
TABLE OF CONTENTS FOR SESSIONS ................................................... 34
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CHAPTER I
Introduction
The prevalence of behavior problems is a growing concern in schools. In order to
intervene effectively, it is important for schools to have an understanding of the factors
influencing the development of children’s behavioral problems. The presence or absence of
specific social skills provides the evidence that other individuals (e.g., parents, teachers, and
peers) use to make judgments about a student’s social competence. A student’s ability to
manage his or her relationship with peers and teachers successfully is associated with many
positive outcomes, such as acceptance by teachers, academic achievement, acceptance by
peers, positive peer relationships, and friendships (Lane et al., 2005). It is important to help
students build their social competence in an effort to promote school success. Social skills
are behaviors that need to be taught, acquired, and then practiced. It would be beneficial for
teachers and school counsellors to have access to a manual outlining the implementation of a
social skills group, with systematic procedures for enhancing social competence.
Social competence has been defined in various ways. Spence and Donovan (1999)
define social competence as the ability to obtain successful outcomes from interactions with
others. Social competence reflects the child’s capacity to integrate behavioral, cognitive and
affective skills in order to adapt flexibly to diverse social contexts and demands. Good social
skills enable children to interact with peers, form friendships, and develop socially acceptable
responses and behavior. Gresham (1997) defines social skills as specific behaviors (e.g.,
raising one’s hand and waiting to be called upon, inviting another student to join a group, and
so on) that a student demonstrates in order to perform appropriately on a given social task.
Gresham and Elliott (1993) add, “Social skills are socially acceptable behaviors that enable a
person to interact effectively with others and avoid socially unacceptable behaviors from
others” (p. 139). The authors propose that social skills involve cooperation, assertion,
responsibility, empathy, and self-control.
Children are continually required to handle a wide range of challenging social
situations. Social skills represent the ability to perform behaviors that are important in
enabling a person to achieve social competence. Spence (2003) postulates that social skills in
interpersonal relationships have a significant long-term influence upon psychological,
academic, and adaptive functioning. A meta-analysis of 43 studies (Erwin, 1994) of social
skills training effectiveness showed that social skills training produced significant
improvement in children’s level of social interaction and overall well-being. An underlying
premise of social skills training is that children with low peer acceptance do not have the
social skills required to develop and maintain positive peer relationships (Choi & Kim,
2003). Peer acceptance can affect academic achievement, adjustment in school, and
psychological well being in adulthood. Gumpel and Golan (2000) postulate that a child’s
ability to interact socially with her or his peers is a basic skill, central to a wide variety of
other measures of quality of life. Forness and Kavale (1996) point out that, “Beyond the
school years, situations requiring social competence tend to far outnumber those requiring
academic skill” (p. 46).
Researchers have established that parents and communities contribute to the
development of problem behavior by failing to provide necessary prerequisite social skills
and support (Lewis, Sugai, & Colvin, 1998). Many negative patterns of interaction that may
have started in homes are continued and exacerbated in schools (Patterson, Reid, & Dishion,
1992). Given that children may come to school with a learning history that sets them up for
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further behavioral problems, schools must respond proactively. Research indicates that,
unless the behavior is addressed at an early age, the pattern is likely to continue and possibly
escalate (Walker, Colvin, & Ramsey, 1993). It is particularly important for school staff to
recognize social deficits as early as possible during the early elementary years, since students
who fail to develop prosocial behaviors become increasingly more resistant to intervention
efforts over time (Kazdin, 1987). Schools can successfully reduce challenging behavior by
implementing social skills groups. Direct social intervention can improve the social skills of
elementary-aged children (Zaragoza, Vaughn, & McIntosh, 1991). The literature on social
skills and social competence supports the view that good social skills enable children to
interact with peers, form friendships, and develop socially acceptable responses and
behavior. Children need a positive group experience in which they have an opportunity to
learn how to improve their ways of relating to and communicating with others.
Need For A Manual
According to Corey and Corey (2006), one of the problems that many school
counsellors face in designing and facilitating groups is lack of training, because they
generally receive very little training that specifically targets children’s groups. One reason
groups fail to materialize is that the facilitator puts little thought into planning an effective
design. Such failures might be prevented if a facilitator’s manual were available. VanVelsor
(2004) identifies the following areas as specifically important in working with children:
selecting children for groups, working with children at different developmental levels,
facilitating children’s groups at different stages, evaluating individual and group progress,
and protecting children’s confidentiality in groups. The successful implementation of a social
skills group involves using carefully constructed lessons, implementing these lessons with
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integrity, and establishing clear behavioral expectations during the sessions (Rotheram-
Borus, Bickford, & Milburn, 2001). Specific skills need to be taught, just as an academic
skill would be taught, with explicit instructions that include modeling, coaching, and
behavioral rehearsal. A manual with user-friendly, semi-scripted lesson plans could be used
by both novice and experienced facilitators at the school level. The purpose of this project is
to outline practical guidelines for counsellors who are setting up groups and to enable them
to provide a program that can develop socially acceptable learned behavior in children who
show deficits in their social skills.
Structure of Project Document
The goal of this project is to develop a facilitator’s manual for social skills training
that focuses on sessions for elementary-aged children. It is based on research that supports a
group process for dealing with children who are struggling in the area of social competence.
This project document describes the theoretical foundation and rationale for social skills
group counselling, the many considerations to take into account before implementing a
group, the procedures that were used in the development of this project document, and some
concluding comments about the implications for school counsellors. A manual for
conducting a series of sessions that could be used in a social skills group is presented in the
appendix.
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CHAPTER II
Theoretical Foundations
Effectiveness of Group Interventions
Having friendship skills and being able to make friends are very important to
children. Elementary school children display a wide range of behaviors, some of which are
considered socially inappropriate. Problems with peers have implications for children’s later
psychological adjustment and well-being (Spence, 2003). In an effort to prevent negative
outcomes arising from poor peer relations; researchers have pursued various interventions to
improve children’s social acceptance and behavior (Gresham, 1997). According to Stewart
and McKay (1995), group counselling has demonstrated effectiveness for the use of school-
based social skills groups for helping children build new skills for social situations: “Students
in group counselling can learn and practice skills which help them to problem solve with
their peers” (p. 19). DeRosier and Marcus (2005) also found that children develop positive
attitude changes by observing each other in positive situations, and these changes in attitude
are conducive to behavior improvement. Corey and Corey (2006) argue, “The effectiveness
of groups for both prevention and remediation has gathered considerable empirical evidence”
(p. 298).
Given the increasing emphasis on prevention and early intervention, group social
skills’ training is being recognized as necessary to help children in their development of
social competence. It is important that schools provide support by teaching children
techniques for improving their abilities to relate to their peers. Social skills must be modeled
and taught directly if students are to master them (McGinnis & Goldstein, 1990). Social skills
programs have been advocated as key interventions (Lord, 1995). Furthermore, there is
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evidence that social skills are best taught in groups. Gresham (1997) notes that because peer
relationship problems are social in nature, group therapy has often been the treatment of
choice. According to Tomori (1995),”If one can teach students personal, social and
interaction skills, then our students may be much better prepared for the future” (p. 24).
Social skills groups can provide the setting within which children may develop these skills.
There are many reasons for offering group counselling. Brigman and Molina (1999)
note that, since children are social beings whose growth and development take place in
groups, it seems logical that they would be comfortable meeting and learning with their
peers. Children need a variety of experiences of interacting with their peers in order to
practice their skills. Group social skills training can provide this opportunity. As Bierman
(1986) describes, “Instruction and demonstrations, behavioral rehearsal, and performance
feedback are used in structured training sessions to teach these children specific social skills
and thereby increase their likeability” (p. 230). Schools can successfully reduce antisocial
behavior by implementing educational strategies such as social skills groups. The group
environment provides various opportunities for group members to test out various aspects of
social skills. Barratt and Kerman (2001) argue that, “Through their interaction and
observation of each other and the other members of the group, they have the opportunity to
behave differently” (p. 311). Students with a common concern can provide support, share
coping strategies, and give and receive feedback (Borders & Drury, 1992). Peer feedback is a
powerful tool in promoting change.
The real benefit of school-based group counselling is that it can potentially reach
many students before they need remedial counselling for more serious mental health
problems. Group counselling expands the services of a counsellor, since systematic
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counselling can be offered to more students (Tomori, 1995). More insights, ideas, confirming
messages and information may be shared in the group setting. Social skills groups can
provide school counsellors with a way to meet the needs of more children than can be
accommodated in individual counselling. Three recent meta-analytical reviews provide
empirical support for the benefits to be derived from group interventions in schools (Hoag &
Burlingame, 1997; Prout & Prout, 1998; Whiston & Sexton, 1998). In these reviews, support
was found for the use of group counselling as an effective intervention with students in areas
such as social skills training, discipline problems, and family problems. For the students,
getting a chance to know the counsellor through group sessions may also open the door to
individual counselling if required. Erwin (1994) found that effect sizes for level of social
interaction programs run by counsellors were more than twice as large as those produced by
teacher-based interventions. Bowman (1987) found that counsellors at all levels agreed that
group counselling is practical and vital.
These findings suggest that school counselling programs would benefit from
increased use of group interventions, because they are effective, time efficient, and allow
counsellors to reach a greater number of students. However, in a school setting, a number of
practical considerations must be considered. The remainder of this review will focus on
factors that need to be taken into account when implementing group interventions.
Criteria for Group Membership
Groups are usually formed when a counsellor or teacher observes that several
students have similar concerns. The focus of a social skills group is on students who are
identified by teachers as displaying poor peer relationship behaviors in or outside the
classroom. In order to identify children, teachers and counsellors agree on a series of criteria.
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Quinn and Jannasch-Pennell (1995) point out “The criteria for determining group
composition may vary depending on the teacher’s objectives or the characteristics of the
students” (p. 30), but usually include little social interaction with peers, inability to get along
with peers, not being accepted, and lack of respect for others. Wherever possible, information
should be gathered in relation to a wide range of settings, including home, school and peer-
recreational situations. According to Danielson and Phelps (2003), a variety of assessment
methods can be used to evaluate social skills; however, in a school setting, many of these
techniques can be time consuming. As Elliott and Gresham (1987) propose, “Analyzing
children’s behavior in natural settings is the most ecologically valid method of assessing
children’s social skills” (p. 96). Naturalistic behavior observation, unlike some other
assessment methods, does not require the use of specific instruments or tests. School settings
in which there is more peer interaction and less structure are the best places for naturalistic
observation of social skills. For younger students, recess times and the playground are ideal
assessment settings. According to Spence (2003), “Reliance upon information from a single
informant or from a single setting may present a biased picture of the young person’s social
functioning” (p. 87).
Selecting Group Participants
Group member selection should be a careful process: “One of the most critical factors
in the preparation for group counselling is preselection of group members” (Morganett,
1990). It is important to obtain reliable and valid information from people who observe
children under conditions in which social skills problems occur. Once identified, parents
typically are contacted in order to explain the program to them and to obtain their agreement
for their children’s participation. In most schools, parents or legal guardians must provide
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written informed consent in order for children to participate in group counselling (Morganett,
1990).
A group composed of elementary school children might be kept at six to eight
members. This number allows all students to have an opportunity to participate actively and
to express their ideas, needs, and feelings. If there are more than eight members, shy or
unassertive children will have less opportunity to become involved, and the counsellor may
spend a great deal of time monitoring who is participating rather than attending to leadership
functions (Morganett, 1990).
The factors of homogeneity and heterogeneity need to be considered in the selection
of group members who will work together smoothly. According to Corey and Corey (2006),
“For a specific target population with given needs, a group comprised entirely of members of
that population is more appropriate than a heterogeneous group” (p. 116). However,
Morganett (1990) postulates that selecting an entire homogeneous population can result in a
negative group experience: “If all the members are engaged in the same negative behaviors,
then positive models are not present and the value of working in the group is negated” (p. 5).
After teachers have identified potential group members, the next step in the selection
process is to screen and assess the students. Screening and assessment are essential
foundations for effective intervention in social skills problems of children and youth (Warnes
& Sheridan, 2005). Primary methods of gathering information include behavioral
observation, behavior rating scales, interviewing, and self-report instruments. Although
gathering information from multiple sources and conducting clinical interviews with the
students would be the most thorough way to identify children with social skills problems,
time and financial barriers often make it impractical to screen children in this way.
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Furthermore, in a school setting, group members are often referred by teachers and
counsellors have little choice over group membership. The school counsellor must rely on
teachers, who base their reports on many observations across a wide range of social
situations. A consent letter outlining the issues and topics to be discussed should be sent out
to parents. Even though confidentiality is stressed, counsellors let parents know in a general
way how their children are progressing in the group.
Risk Factors
Several risk factors should be taken into consideration when planning a group. For
example, lack of pre-group screening may affect group cohesiveness, teachers’ reports may
be biased, children may find a group threatening, certain types of social difficulties may be
resistant to the counsellor’s approaches,culturally linked behavior may be misinterpreted, and
the behaviors of some students may be difficult to manage. However, the group setting can
offer an opportunity for a supportive environment in which anxiety can be reduced and
students can acquire a sense of belonging. Cohesion is an attribute that is directly linked to
positive outcomes of group interventions (Spence, 2003). Tomori (1995) states, “It is one
thing for a student to be reassured by an adult that he or she is not alone, but more important
[for the student] to hear and see that same support in the safe environment of a group led by a
skilled counsellor” (p. 26). Spence postulates that the success of cooperative learning
experiences lies in the successful interaction of group members.
Duration and Frequency of Meetings
The literature on group counselling suggests that the degree of disturbance of the
group’s participants should be used to determine the length and number of sessions, with 6
months to a year being recommended (Morganett, 1999). Devoting this much time to group
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counselling in schools is often not a realistic expectation. Groups in school should be “brief,
structured, problem-focused, homogeneous in membership, and have a cognitive behavioral
orientation” (Corey & Corey, 2006, p. 297). With children, it may be better to meet more
frequently and for a shorter period of time to suit their attention span. The number and length
of sessions can be varied to fit the topic and time schedule. In a school setting, Morganett
recommends that the group meet once a week for 35 to 40 minutes, a time span that takes
into account the limited attention span of elementary children. Eight sessions are
recommended.
Groups most often will meet during school hours at times arranged in cooperation
with the classroom teachers. Meeting during school hours can be difficult if there are
concerns about students missing class. To encourage teacher and administrative support, it is
important that the counsellor show sensitivity to concerns in regards to children missing class
time. As well, students may have reservations about being pulled out of class. Carrell (2000)
offers these alternatives: lunch hour, scheduled periods in the school’s timetable to
accommodate group work, and rotation of group time so that students do not miss the same
class consistently.
The physical setting has an impact on the climate and quality of intervention. Group
counselling should take place in a setting where others will not be able to overhear or disturb
the group. Privacy must be a primary consideration, due to the necessity of protecting
confidentiality and promoting openness (Smead, 1995). The location should be a room with
tables, chairs, and plenty of space to involve the students in various activities. Seating
arrangements should be in a circle, since sitting around a table can inhibit openness.
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Cultural Integration
The escalating number of students from diverse backgrounds presents school
counsellors with many new challenges. As Rivera and Rogers-Adkinson (1997) point out,
“Misinterpretation of culturally linked behavior places these children in conflict with
expectations for social behaviors between home and school” (p. 75). The sociocultural
context in which children exist strongly influences their attitudes, beliefs, values, and
behavior. According to Leung (as cited in Rivera & Rogers-Adkinson, 1997), children from
diverse backgrounds are often described as over compliant, timid, indecisive, and lacking
leadership. As a result, these children may be considered socially incompetent in a broader
social context, despite the fact that some of these behaviors are expected and rewarded in the
children’s cultural environments.
For the group leader, an understanding of culturally influenced behavior is essential
to distinguish between social skills differences and deficiencies. Therefore, awareness of
social behavior displayed by various cultural groups will facilitate the counsellor’s planning
and implementation of social skills training. It is vital to consider the children’s traditional
values and belief systems and to integrate them into the group program. Social skills
instructions should promote an understanding of cultural differences and positive
interactions. Group instruction should emphasize cooperation rather than mastery of only
individual goals, and appropriate interventions for children must be based on maintaining
cultural behavior while assisting in the development of skills that will enable them to
function successfully in mainstream culture (Rivera & Rogers-Adkinson, 1997).
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Core Strategies and Techniques
Group sessions should include didactic instruction combined with active practice
(Stewart & McKay, 1995). Describing and modeling social skills is essential, and a direct
instruction format works best. McArdle et al. (2002) propose that counsellors initiate most
exercises and techniques that children experience during group sessions. Providing
opportunities for the group members to model the skill allows the leader to give needed
guidance and to monitor how well each student understands how to perform the skill.
When the students know how to perform the skill, they need opportunities to practice
using the skill in a variety of controlled situations. A typical activity within social skill
intervention is role-playing to enhance the children’s skills. Role-playing allows the children
to practice alternative styles of interacting, and to experience the affective experiences of
other classmates in their respective roles. Tomori (1995) adds that it is essential to provide
the opportunity for the student to monitor and evaluate his or her own use of the social skill.
With time, practice and self-reflection, students begin to know when and how to use the
skills. The literature emphasizes that positive reinforcement should be used during
instruction, guided practice, and role-playing.
It has become increasingly evident that skill practice limited to training sessions is
insufficient to provide long-lasting improvement in social behavior. Spence (2003)
recommends several techniques for skill practice, including homework, peer trainers, and the
inclusion of parents and teachers.
Group Leadership Style and Skills
School counsellors leading social skills groups need to be socially competent
themselves, to be able to manage children in small groups, to be familiar with the theoretical
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model underlying the program, and to have positive attitudes toward delivering social skills
interventions (Spence, 2003). Knowledge and techniques are important, but attitude can
facilitate or undermine the process. Attitude is informed by the counsellor’s commitment to
the basic conditions of the therapeutic relationship (Morganett, 1990). Corey and Corey
(2006) support this emphasis on the relationship, highlighting the importance of personal
qualities of patience, caring, playfulness, a good sense of humor, flexibility, and a great
concern for and interest in children. Professional skills should include a thorough
understanding of the developmental tasks and stages of the particular age group, the
knowledge and skills necessary to work with children from culturally diverse populations,
and familiarity with the literature and significant research pertaining to counselling children.
Counsellors’ personal qualities and professional skills contribute greatly to successful group
experiences.
Evaluation
According to Elliott and Gresham (1991), “the goal of any treatment program is
change” (p. 20). Monitoring student progress is an essential aspect of social skills
intervention. Monitoring students’ progress in improving their social skills allows for
decisions to be made about whether the intervention is working as planned or requires
modification. Student progress can be monitored using teacher ratings, self report, and direct
observation. Lane (1999) has found that direct observation data are more sensitive to changes
that may be occurring than are teacher ratings of social skills.
Conclusion
Social skills are a necessary component of a student’s educational and social success.
The findings of this review suggest that direct social intervention can improve the social
14
skills of children. Group counselling can provide school counsellors with a way to meet the
needs of more students than can be accommodated in individual counselling.
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CHAPTER III
Procedures
Background
On a daily basis, teachers face the challenge of dealing with behavior problems in the
classroom. Many students arrive at school unable to meet the social demands of the school
setting; in fact, many have simply not learned the skills that are necessary for successful
interactions with teachers and peers. As a teacher/counsellor, I have witnessed a growing
frustration among teachers when poor social skills are the cause of class disruptions and peer
conflicts. Teachers often feel that they have no control over how the students developed in
their early years. That may be true, but it would be disheartening to think that no changes or
improvement would be possible.
Student’s Individual Program Plans (IPPs) often indicate social skills as an area for
need of improvement. To address this need, school must provide instruction in social skills.
Unfortunately, many schools are not meeting this need due to large class sizes, increasing
curriculum demands, and lack of available programs and resources.
As part of my Comprehensive Guidance Plans, I conducted a needs assessment
among teachers, parents, and students in my school. Responses indicated that social skills
(getting along with friends, being accepted and bullying concerns) were a priority. The
school administration and I discussed how best to address this issue. My position allows me
to act as a resource and support for the staff. It was decided that a Social Skills Group could
address some of the concerns indicated in the needs assessment.
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Conducting a Literature Review
The purpose of the literature review was to access current, relevant literature that
discussed the benefits of social skills training in a school setting. Research was initiated by
searching the Internet and library resources. The following databases were accessed through
the Campus Alberta Internet site: Academic Search Premier, PsychINFO, Psychology and
Behavioral Sciences Collection, and ERIC. When searching the Internet, I used Yahoo and
Google as my primary search engines. Key words used included “social skills,” “social
competence,” “social skills training,” “social skills groups,” “group counselling,”
“counselling children,” and “school counselling.” The review of literature clearly established
that the development of social skills and socially acceptable behavior is one of the most
important tasks of childhood. Group counselling has been demonstrated to be effective in
increasing social competence.
Collaborating with School Staff
The need for a Social Skills Group was discussed at a staff meeting. I outlined the
steps required to implement the intervention: (a) identifying students for participation, (b)
identifying specific skill deficits, (c) structuring and organizing of the group, and (d)
implementing the group. Teachers appreciated having the opportunity to be included in the
decision-making process. Their feedback emphasized the need for collaboration in planning a
school program. My purpose in conducting a literature review and preparing the intervention
manual detailed in Appendix A was to offer schools guidelines for implementing skill-
building group counselling activities.
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CHAPTER IV
Synthesis and Implications
Impact of the Project
Social skills are a necessary component of a student’s educational and social success.
The research clearly indicates that school counsellors and school-based interventions can
provide children with the support, skills, and coping mechanisms they need to combat the
negative influences of social isolation and rejection. In order for schools to meet such needs,
resources must be available. Many school counsellors may not have knowledge or
professional experience in the area of group counselling. Thus, this project document
culminated in the preparation of a manual that provides step-by-step procedures for
implementing social skills group counselling at the school level. (See Appendix A.)
One of the exciting things about groups is that one can create a group to meet the
special needs of a particular school. Aided by this manual, school counsellors can gain
understanding of the many components of group counselling that they need to consider
before implementing group work. The content of the manual is user friendly. Teachers could
also benefit by using this resource in a classroom setting. It is a practical and simple guide to
use. Tomori (1995) reminds us “Prevention is preferable to intervention” (p. 27). The
activities in the manual can be incorporated into many areas of the curriculum, and therefore
many students can benefit from having the opportunity to experience them.
Since the majority of counsellors positions are not full-time, small group counselling
is efficient and appropriate from a time-management perspective. Counsellors have many
school-based responsibilities that take away from individual counselling time. More often
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than not, individual students’ concerns have to do with relationships. Group work can bring
children together in a way that benefits many.
It is important for a counsellor to have a strategic, comprehensive implementation
plan when dealing with short-term groups. At the school level, class time and opportunities
for group work may be an obstacle. The counsellor may share this project with staff and
administration in order to gain their support. As the literature review clearly outlines, it is
important to take the time to help children develop social skills.
Limitations of the Project
The behavioral strategies of modeling, coaching, behavioral rehearsal, role play,
feedback, and reinforcement of skill usage have been found to be effective in producing
short-term improvements in specific social skill responses (Spence, 2003). However,
evidence is emerging that, although social skills training is frequently effective in producing
changes in specific social behavior, these benefits are often short lived and may not
generalize from the training setting into real-life contexts. Children may respond favorably in
the small group environment, but they may not be able to use their skills in the larger context
of daily situations. Program evaluation and follow-up tracking of student behavior is needed
to assess the effects of this program and to improve the long-term benefits of the training.
This project does not take into account the non-skill-based variables that may be
responsible for the social skill levels of the group. It is important for school counsellors to
adapt the project to meet the needs of their students and school environment. Counsellors
may need to conduct further research to identify other areas of need.
Despite the simple layout of the manual, those using it need some knowledge of the
variables involved in group process. This project does not offer training in these background
19
areas. Facilitators who have little or no experience in group process may want to research
some of the main considerations in this area.
Due to the space limitations of this project document, there has not yet been an
opportunity to utilize the manual. However, the project will be into practice later this year,
when I plan to implement a social skills group at my school. I will encourage and request
feedback from teachers and students in order to assess the effectiveness and usefulness of the
manual.
Conclusion
This project document provides a useful tool for counsellors who want to enhance
their counselling program. The literature review provides a useful context from which to
approach teaching social skills to students, and the manual in Appendix A provides a detailed
starting point from which to approach intervention. The activities and strategies contained in
the manual also could be incorporated in regular class lessons for students. They are
applicable to a wide audience of students working in a variety of classroom situations. Social
skills group counselling has the potential to enhance the quality of children’s social
relationships, build their confidence about dealing with social situations, and improve their
social behavior.
20
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APPENDIX
Manual for Friendship Group: Social Skills Training for Elementary Grades
FRIENDSHIP GROUP
SOCIAL SKILLS TRAINING FOR ELEMENTARY GRADES
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INTRODUCTION
This guide is designed to provide school counsellors with systematic procedures for enhancing social competence in elementary-age children. The purpose of the sessions and activities in this program is two-fold: (1) to help students learn the key relational skills that will enable them to initiate and maintain friendships, and (2) to improve the social climate within the classroom so that interpersonal problems do not disrupt academic learning. Each lesson introduces specific friendship skills to increase peer acceptance and enhance students’ ability to interact positively with all their classmates. In addition to direct cognitive instruction, affective and behavioral components are also used. Each session includes a sequence of motivation, practice, and maintenance activities. Students are:
• Involved in group discussions regarding friendship behaviors, issues, and problems
• Given opportunities to see friendship skills modeled • Involved in role-play and other structured activities which allow them to practice
the skills • Given feedback regarding their practice • Provided with structures for integrating friendship skills into their daily lives
through goal-setting and reinforcement The sessions in this manual bring the fundamental issues of friendship to students’ awareness. Students are given opportunities to discover what the ingredients of a relationship are and what makes it a friendship. They engage in activities to discover similarities and positive qualities in their classmates, both of which are prerequisites to friendship. Students determine how they want to be treated by those they consider friends. They then take a look at their own behavior and set appropriate goals for change.
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IMPORTANCE OF FRIENDSHIP SKILLS
Interpersonal problems are disruptive in the classroom. Considerable time is spent soothing students who are upset because no one will play with them, trying to protect students who are harassed by other class members, encouraging shy students to make friends, and dealing with students who are trying to enhance their social status through attention-getting misbehavior. Teachers have concluded that the time spent trying to cope with students’ social deficits could be better spent in teaching students how to get along with others. Research shows that friendship skills can be learned. Direct instruction in friendship-making techniques makes a positive change in the school climate. Friendship skills deficits do more than lead to class disruptions or to isolated or rejected children. Research evidence over the past several years indicates that there is a direct correlation between friendship patterns and academic performance. Even though some students are able to master academics without experiencing successful peer relationships, academic achievement alone does not prepare a child for a successful life. Friendships are central to the quality of children’s lives. Even the presence of nurturing adults cannot alleviate the loneliness that children experience when they lack a friend. Children need the confirmation of a peer who is not a family member. Feelings of being accepted socially, of being liked for oneself and for one’s own actions and behaviors, are extremely important to the development of emotional security. Since so many of the problems and joys we experience at each stage in life are interpersonal in nature, helping children develop social skills is a gift we can give to students which will benefit them throughout their lives.
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FACTORS THAT CONTRIBUTE TO FRIENDSHIP-MAKING
There are many factors over which a child has little or no control, which are likely to affect the way the child is viewed by peers and which influence how easily the child makes friends. Physical appearance, intellectual abilities, family background, and even athletic ability may influence a child’s social status during the elementary-school years. Along with these aspects of natural attractiveness, a child’s outgoingness towards others is also a strong factor in social attraction. Sometimes natural endowments present a child with a difficult path to friendship making. Life events may add to this difficulty. A child may have poor models or little opportunity for positive social behavior. When these natural forces do not work to help a child find success in peer relationships, a child can benefit from adult help in mastering the skills of friendship. Research has shown that teaching social responses in order to help a child’s social interactions can help compensate for limitations that have affected a child’s friendship-making abilities. It is important to have an understanding of culturally influenced behavior in order to distinguish between social skills differences and social skills deficiencies. The sociocultural context in which children exist strongly influences their attitudes, beliefs, values, and behavior; social skills instructions should promote an understanding of cultural differences and positive interactions. It should be understood that the objective of social skills instruction is not to create “popular” children, but to help children, whatever their personality, life history, or cultural background, to develop positive peer relationships with at least one or two of their peers.
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HOW TO USE THIS MANUAL
SESSION OVERVIEW
Each session presents one or more concepts that are central to social functioning. Because of the timelessness and generality of most of these concepts, the same sessions can be used with students as they advance through the grades. Each time students are exposed to concepts in a session; they are able to consider them from a new frame of reference and to make new and more precise applications. Each session includes a clearly stated objective, a list of all the materials needed for the session, goals for the session, suggested activities, and instructions for the facilitator. The sessions provide a model for everything that needs to be said to impart session concepts. However, this is simply a model. Facilitators may want to rephrase the script, saying things in their own words in order to accommodate aspects of the particular students’ frame of reference. The success of the session will depend on the facilitators’ ability to provide examples that their students can relate to. It will also depend on the facilitators’ sense of how to pace the session, expanding or shortening sections to fit the students’ needs. The facilitators must be familiar with the session prior to meeting with the students.
HANDOUTS
Reproducible student handouts also accompany each session. These handouts give students an opportunity to process session concepts as well as to demonstrate that they were attending and receiving during the session presentation and discussion.
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GROUP STRUCTURE AND ORGANIZATION
CRITERIA FOR GROUP MEMBERSHIP
The focus of this group is on children who are identified by teachers as displaying poor peer relationship behaviors in and/or outside the classroom setting. In order to identify children, a series of criteria is agreed on through discussion with the teachers. Groups are usually formed when a counsellor or teacher observes that several students have similar concerns. These behaviors may include, for example, little social interaction with peers, inability to get along with peers, not being accepted, and disruptive behaviors that cause alienation.
PROCEDURES FOR RECRUITMENT
Traditionally, information regarding a student’s behavior in the school setting has come from parents and teachers. It is important to obtain reliable and valid information from people who observe children under conditions in which social skill problems occur. Although a variety of assessment methods can be used to evaluate social skills, in a school setting many of these techniques can be time consuming. Facilitators may have to rely on referrals from teachers based on the criteria outlined for group membership.
PARENTAL INVOLVEMENT
Once students have been identified, the school will contact their parents to explain the program and obtain agreement for their children’s participation. In many schools, parents or legal guardians must provide a written informed consent for minor children to participate in group counselling. Informed consent involves the provision of specific information about the group so that parents or guardians can decide whether or not their children will participate.
PROCEDURES FOR SCREENING
After teachers have identified potential group members, the next step in the selection process is to screen and assess the students. Primary methods of gathering information include behavioral observation, behavior rating scales, and interviewing. Although gathering information from multiple sources and conducting interviews with the students would be the most thorough way to identify children with social skills problems, time and financial barriers make it impractical to screen students this way. Facilitators must rely on the reports of teachers who provide recommendations based on many observations across a wide range of social situations.
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RISK FACTORS
Facilitators must take into account the following risk factors: lack of pre-group screening may affect group cohesiveness; teacher reports may be biased; certain types of social difficulties may be resistant to the intervention; culturally linked behavior may have been misinterpreted; and it may be difficult to manage the behaviors of some of the students. Involving the teacher and collaborating on the group selection will help to address some of these risks.
DURATION AND FREQUENCY OF MEETINGS
In a school setting, it is recommended that the group meet for eight sessions (35-40 minutes for each session). This amount of time takes into account the limited attention span of elementary-aged children.
LOCATION AND TIME OF MEETINGS
Groups meet during school hours at times arranged in cooperation with the classroom teacher. Meeting during school hours can be difficult if there are concerns about students missing class. As well, students may have reservations about being pulled out of class. Suggested alternatives are the lunch hour, scheduled periods that may accommodate group work, and rotating group time so that students do not miss the same class consistently Group counselling should take place in a setting where others will not be able to overhear or disturb the group. The location should be a room with tables, chairs, and plenty of space to involve the students in various activities. Seating should be arranged in a circle. Sitting around a table can serve as a barrier that inhibits openness. The circle experience, whether on the floor or in chairs or on beanbags, sets the experience apart from other activities.
GROUND RULES FOR GROUP PARTICIPATION
• What we say and do here is private and stays in the group (confidentiality rule). Students are informed that their parents will be given a general report of their progress in the group.
• Everyone has the right to “pass” and not participate in an activity. • When someone is speaking, everyone must look at him or her and listen quietly. • Students should not mention names when relating stories. Instead they should use
“Someone I know…”
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GOALS
Goal 1- to encourage understanding of what it means to be a friend and to have friends Goal 2- to help students learn the key relational skills which will enable them to initiate and maintain friendships Children need to be oriented to the concept that there are certain behaviors that cause others to want to choose us as friends. Students will come to understand that this behavior can be learned, and they will be given opportunities to discover what makes a friendship. In the group sessions outlined in this manual, students will be involved in group discussions regarding friendship behaviors, given opportunities to see friendship skills modeled, involved in role-play activities that allow them to practice the skills, and given feedback regarding their practice. Discussing friendship behaviors will help students learn to talk about friendship skills. Role-play will give them an opportunity to practice using the friendship skills presented in the sessions. By putting themselves in the place of others, students become sensitive to others’ feelings. Students will determine how they want to be treated by friends, and then take a look at their own behavior and set goals for change.
GROUP LEADERSHIP AND SKILLS
The facilitator’s personality, energy level, attitude, concern and skills have a lot to do with the tone of the group. The skills required include listening, empathizing, challenging, and facilitating action. Facilitators should be able to establish a positive bond with children, set realistic goals and anticipate gradual changes in behavior over time, tolerate and manage hurt and anger, possess problem-solving skills to cope with emerging issues in a positive manner, and interact successfully with children of different genders and ethnicities. They need to be aware of differences among group members in order to implement group activities effectively and appropriately.
EVALUATION
The effectiveness of any counselling program is based on the extent of positive change in the group members. Since the behaviors of the students are well known to their teachers, consultation with the teachers would be helpful in evaluating the outcomes of the program.
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TABLE OF CONTENTS FOR SESSIONS
SESSION 1. GETTING TO KNOW EACH OTHER............................................................ 35
Session 1 Handout: Friendship Pizza.......................................................................... 36
SESSION 2. WHAT IS A FRIEND?...................................................................................... 37
SESSION 3. FRIENDSHIP VALUES ................................................................................... 38
SESSION 4. CONVERSATION SKILLS.............................................................................. 39
SESSION 5. NO MORE PUT-DOWNS ................................................................................ 40
Session 5 Handout: Why Kids Give Put-Downs ........................................................ 41
Session 5 Handout: Scenarios..................................................................................... 42
SESSION 6. THE SECRET OF FRIENDSHIP ..................................................................... 44
Session 6 Handout: 20 Ways You Can Make Others Feel Special............................. 45
SESSION 7. FRIENDSHIP SKILLS IN ACTION ................................................................ 46
Session 7 Handout: Role-Play Scenarios................................................................................ 47
Session 7 Handout: Rate Yourself as a Friend........................................................................ 50
SESSION 8. SAYING GOODBYE........................................................................................ 51
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SESSION 1. GETTING TO KNOW EACH OTHER
Advance preparation required for this group session:
MAKE PHOTOCOPIES (10) “Friendship Pizza” FLIPCHART List of categories PENS/PENCILS
Objectives for today’s session: 1. To welcome students and choose appropriate ground rules for the group sessions 2. To help students become acquainted and begin to feel comfortable in the group setting PLAN Time
Goal Activity
Instructions / Notes of Interest
5 MIN
Introduction Objective #1
Leader Welcome/Ground rules
Briefly describe the goals of group in general. Rules help everyone be respected and have time to talk.
5 MIN
Group gelling Objective #2
Name Game Tell us your name and something you like to eat that begins with the first letter of your name. “I’m Lucy and I like licorice.”
10 MIN
Becoming Acquainted Objective #2
Create “Friendship Pizza” 1
Hand out blank paper. Instruct students to choose eight categories from the list on the flipchart. Draw a pizza and fill in the friendship ingredients.
10 MIN
Continued Students pair up with a partner and share information about each other from “Friendship Pizza”
Provide opportunity for group members to talk to each other in a non-threatening environment.
10 MIN
Introductions Objective #2
Students take turns introducing partner to group and telling us what they have learned about each other
Provide opportunity for group members to speak to the bigger group.
5 MIN
Check-out Leader wrap-up Share positive observations about the session. Ask if there is anything anyone would like to share.
1 Handout adapted from Teaching Friendship Skills, by P. Huggins, 1995. Longmont, CO: Sopris West.
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Session 1 Handout: Friendship Pizza
FRIENDSHIP PIZZA Choose eight categories from the following list and create a Friendship Pizza to share.
• Favorite color • My pet • Best vacation ever • Class I like best • Sport I like best • Favorite movie • Favorite place to go with friends • Birthday month • Favorite toy • Favorite restaurant • Favorite sports team • Anything else you would like us to know
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SESSION 2. WHAT IS A FRIEND?
Advance preparation required for this group session:
FLIPCHART ROLL PAPER MARKERS IN ASSORTED COLOURS
Objectives for today’s session: 1. To allow students to define friendship in their own terms. 2. To outline friendship qualities. PLAN Time
Goal Activity Instructions / Notes of Interest
5 MIN
Check-in Students share what they remember about group members.
Model: “I remember that John plays hockey.”
10 MIN
Define friendship Objective #1
Flipchart discussion, sentence completion What does friendship mean to you? Record responses on flipchart.
Each student takes a turn completing the sentence. Discuss similar/different answers.
5 MIN
Illustrating friendship
Person outline2
Ask for 2 volunteers. One person lies down on the piece of roll paper, and the other traces around the person’s body. Turn the paper over and ask for 2 more volunteers. Do the same on the other side.
15 MIN
Illustrating components of friendship Objective #2
On one side of the person, ask for qualities that are valued in a friend (write on front side of outline). On the other side, ask for qualities that are not valued in a friend (write on back side of outline).
Brainstorm examples: Valued: friendly, helpful, honest, sharing Not valued: lying, fighting, mean
5 MIN
Recognizing values Objective #2
Discuss the differences on both sides of the person.
To be a friend and have friends, we need to show lots of qualities on the front side of the person.
5 MIN
Check-out Sentence completion Students finish the sentence: “A good friend quality I have is…”
2 From Skills for Living, by R. S. Morganett, Champaign, IL: Research Press.
37
SESSION 3. FRIENDSHIP VALUES
Advance preparation required for this group session:
FLIPCHART PERSON OUTLINES FROM SESSION 2
Objectives for today’s session: 1. Students will learn behaviors that prevent the development of friendship by identifying
behaviors they dislike in others 2. Students will identify behaviors that interfere with friendship PLAN Time
Goal Activity
Instructions / Notes of Interest
10 MIN
Check-in Students share: “A quality I value in a friend is…” “A quality I don’t value in a friend is…”
Recall friendship qualities from last session (display person outline).
5 MIN
To discover Objective #1
Self-reflection Ask students to think about their own behavior and ask themselves if they do things that make it hard for kids to be their friend.
5 MIN
Sharing Partner Activity Students share with a partner 1 positive behavior and 1 negative.
10 MIN
Normalizing Invite students to share one positive and one negative behavior. Think of things they do that are positive and things that may be turn-offs to others.
Disclosing something negative can be threatening. Don’t insist that everyone participate. Discuss that we are not born knowing how to make and keep friends. WE can change how we are by learning new ways to do things.
10 MIN
Discover alternatives Objective #2
Flipchart discussion: Students share a behavior they would like to change. Group members brainstorm alternatives and possible solutions.
Encourage discussion of positive choices and decisions.
5 MIN
Check-out Homework: students are asked to practice their target behavior change.
Note that changes don’t happen easily. It will take practice to feel comfortable and natural.
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SESSION 4. CONVERSATION SKILLS
Advance preparation required for this group session:
FLIPCHART
Objectives for today’s session: 1. To illustrate introduction skills and to provide practice in making introductions 2. To show students how to start conversations and to provide practice in conversation skills PLAN Time
Goal Activity
Instructions / Notes of Interest
5 MIN
Check-in Students share success stories about their target behavior.
Model self-disclosure.
5 MIN
Introductions practice
Explain importance of introductions. Students introduce themselves to you.
If you don’t know how to make introductions or begin conversations, a friendship may never start. Look at the person, smile, say hello, and tell your name. Model: “Hi, my name is Lucy.”
15 MIN
Outline Objective #1
Discuss how to introduce 2 people to each other. Students form groups of four and practice introducing each other.
Look at the first person and say that person’s name. Tell the 1st person the 2nd person’s name. “Mary, this is Tony Smith. “Tony, this is Mary Homes.”
15 MIN
Practice Objective #2
Discuss how a conversation follows an introduction. Brainstorm things you can ask about...favorite sports/hobbies/TV shows
Look at the person with whom you want to speak. Say something about you. Ask the person about something he or she likes. Make a positive comment about what the person said.
5 MIN
Check-out Students identify someone they will initiate a conversation with before next session.
Homework assignment
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SESSION 5. NO MORE PUT-DOWNS
Advance preparation required for this group session:
POSTER: Why Kids Give Put-Downs ROLE-PLAY SCENARIOS ON SEPARATE STRIPS
Objectives for today’s session: 1. Students will learn some reasons behind put-down behavior. 2. Students will learn techniques to help them change their put-down behavior. PLAN Time
Goal Activity Instructions / Notes of Interest
5 MIN
Check-in Students share who they initiated conversations with since last session.
15 MIN
Objective #1
Flip-chart discussion: What is a put-down and why kids give put-downs.
A put-down is something someone says to someone else that makes him or her feel bad. Overhead Transparencies3
10 MIN
Objective #2 Flip-chart discussion on Things you can do instead.
Overhead Transparencies
10 MIN
Practice/ Application
Scenarios discussion Read the scenarios and ask student volunteers for examples of techniques they can use to prevent put-downs.
5 MIN
Check-out Students share what they have learned.
During the week let’s try really hard to kick the put-down habit.
3 From The Assist Program: Affective/Social Skills: Instructional Strategies and Techniques. Workshop provided at CSSD Professional Development In-Service.
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Session 5 Handout: Why Kids Give Put-Downs
WHY KIDS GIVE PUT-DOWNS
Because someone is different from them
Because they got one To try and look big or impress other kids
THINGS YOU CAN DO INSTEAD
Talk to yourself.
(How would it feel? Different is O.K. Put-downers are hard to
like.)
Get your mind onto something else.
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Session 5 Handout: Scenarios
SCENARIO 1 The teacher has just handed back yesterday’s math assignment. Jesse, who isn’t very good at math, is happy with her grade (a C+). Marti, who is good at math, got an A. A put-down pops into Marti’s mind. He wants to say to Jesse, “What are you so happy about? I got an A!” But then he thinks, “Do I really want to be a put-downer?” What can Marti do instead? SCENARIO 2 Marti and a group of kids are getting ready to play kickball at recess. Jesse comes up to the group and asks if she can play. A put-down pops into Marti’s mind! He wants to say to Jesse, “Jesse, you’ve got two left feet. Go play dolls instead!” But then Marti thinks, “Do I really want to be a put-downer?” What can Marti do instead? SCENARIO 3 Jesse is a very good artist. She’s just finished a picture for her science project and asks Marti, “How do you like my picture?” Marti is having trouble with his picture, and a put-down pops into his mind! He starts to say, “Jesse, you think you’re the best artist in the school, don’t you? Big deal!” But then Marti thinks, “Do I really want to be a put-downer?” Can you help Marti do something else to break the put-down habit? SCENARIO 4 When all the kids are getting off the bus, Jesse slips on the steps and falls to the ground. She isn’t hurt but she is embarrasses. A put=down pops into Marti’s mind. He wants to say, “Is that what you learned in dance class, Jesse?” But then Marti thinks, “Do I really want to be a put-downer? What can Marti do instead to stop himself from being a put-downer?
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SCENARIO 5 Marti is sitting across the lunch table from Jesse, who is eating a very juicy sandwich. Mayonnaise is running down her fingers and a piece of tomato drops out onto the table. A put-down pops into Marti’s mind! He wants to say, “Is that a good sandwich, Jesse? Oink! Oink!” Then he thinks, “Do I really want to be a put-downer?” What can Marti do to break the put-down habit? SCENARIO 6 Marti and Jesse are asked to take some books back to the library. Marti is in a hurry to get back to the classroom and take his turn on the computer. Jesse is having a hard time keeping up with Marti, and she drops her armful of books on the hall floor. A put-down pops into Marti’s mind! He wants to say, “Nice going Jesse! You’re a big klutz!” Can you help Marti do something else instead? SCENARIO 7 Jesse comes into the classroom just before the bell rings and slips quietly into her seat. She has a new haircut and it is kind of funny looking. You can tell by looking at Jesse’s face that she doesn’t like it much. Marti takes one look at Jesse’s hair, and a put-down pops into his mind! He wants to say loudly so everyone will hear, “Hey Jesse! It looks like you had a fight with the scissors, and the scissors won!” Then he thinks, “Do I really want to be a put-downer?” Can you help Marti break the put-down habit? SCENARIO 8 Jesse is making a poster for social studies; she has all her marking pens spread out around her. Marti’s red marker is all dried up, and he asks Jesse if he could use hers. She says no! A put-down pops into Marti’s mind. He wants to say, ”O.K. for you, you selfish loser! Just see if I ever let you use any of my stuff!” But then he thinks, “Do I really want to be a put-downer -- even I she deserves it?” What can Marti do to keep from being a put-downer?
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SESSION 6. THE SECRET OF FRIENDSHIP
Advance preparation required for this group session:
FLIP CHART PHOTOCOPY 10 “20 Ways You Can Make Someone Feel Special” PENS/PENCILS
Objectives for today’s session: 1. Students will learn specific behaviours that promote friendship. PLAN Time
Goal Activity Instructions / Notes of Interest
5 MIN
Check-in Scaling question: How successful were you in trying to kick the put-down habit?
Review scaling: 10 means you didn’t use any put-downs at all. 1 means you put down others every day.
5 MIN
Review
Discussion Raise your hand if you remember 3 things you can do instead of giving a put-down.
5 MIN
Learn friendship behaviors Objective #1
Flip-chart discussion: What is the secret of friendship?
Today we will talk about things to do that will make you easy to like. The secret to friendship is to make friends feel special… a friend is someone who makes you feel good.
10 MIN
Cont’d Discuss How do friends make you feel special? Students answer, “I feel special when…”
List student responses on flip chart.
15 MIN
Cont’d Hand out “20 Ways You Can Make Someone Feel Special”4
Ask students to put a star next to items that are different from the ones that were brainstormed, underline behaviors they feel they already do a lot of the time.
5 MIN
Check-out Homework Ask students to each think of a time today or tomorrow when they will do something to make someone feel special.
4 From Teaching Friendship Skills, by P. Huggins, 1995. Longmont, CO: Sopris West.
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Session 6 Handout: 20 Ways You Can Make Others Feel Special
20 WAYS YOU CAN MAKE OTHERS FEEL SPECIAL _____ 1. Ask them to play with you. _____ 2. Ask them what they would like to play. _____ 3. Let them know when you like their ideas. _____ 4. Let them go first. _____ 5. Play fair. _____ 6. Be a good sport. _____ 7. Offer to share things with them. _____ 8. Offer to let them borrow something. _____ 9. Be honest with them. _____10. Help them feel better when they make mistakes. _____11. Stick up for them. _____12. Offer to do them a favor. _____13. Listen to them. _____14. Encourage them when they try new things. _____15. Give them compliments. _____16. Keep secrets and promises. _____17. Apologize if you hurt their feelings. _____18. Forgive them if they do something wrong. _____19. Offer to help them with things. _____20. Let them have other friends.
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SESSION 7. FRIENDSHIP SKILLS IN ACTION
Advance preparation required for this group session:
ROLE PLAY SCENARIOS PHOTOCOPY 10 “Rate Yourself as a Friend”5
PENS/PENCILS Objectives for today’s session: 1. Students will learn specific behaviours that promote friendship. PLAN Time
Goal Activity Instructions / Notes of Interest
10 MIN
Check-in Students will share what they did to make someone feel special.
Introduce by asking students to share what they remember is the secret to making friends.
10 MIN
Objective #1
Role-play with partner Choose 2 slips from the role-play scenarios. Choose one you like best to practice role-play. Role-plays depict ways to make a friend feel special.
15 MIN
Share role-play with group. Discuss after each role-play.
Students will share their role-play with the group. Challenge students to guess which way of making someone feel special each role-play is dramatizing.
5 MIN
Self-reflection Self-evaluation: “Rate yourself as a friend”
How often do you do these behaviors? This activity is private. You can see which friendship behaviors you are already good at and which you could improve.
5 MIN
Check-out Share 1 action that you always do, and 1 action that you need to work on from your self-evaluation.
5 From Teaching Friendship Skills, by P. Huggins, 1995. Longmont, CO: Sopris West.
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Session 7 Handout: Role-Play Scenarios
ROLE-PLAY SCENARIOS
1. LET THE PERSON HAVE OTHER FRIENDS Your best friend and you have planned on getting together on Saturday to play computer games. Your friend comes up to you and says that he or she wants to get together with another friend to see a movie that’s playing at the same time you were going to get together. Your friend asks if you can get together at another time instead. Show how you could make your friend feel special by letting him or her have other friends.
2. BE A GOOD SPORT
You really wanted to win the game you were playing with a friend, but instead of winning you really lost big! The other person is happy to have won. Show how you could make this person feel special by being a good sport about losing.
3. LET THE PERSON GO FIRST Your class is having a special ice cream treat. You and your friend both get to the ice cream line at the same time. Show how you could make your friend feel special by letting him or her go first.
4. OFFER TO HELP THEM Your class is working on an art project. You notice that the person next to you is having a hard time putting a project together because he or she needs to hold a piece while gluing it. Show how you could make this person feel special by offering to help.
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5. GIVE THE PERSON A COMPLIMENT
Someone you like did something that you thought was really neat. Show how you could make this person feel special by giving a compliment about what he or she did.
6. FORGIVE THEM IF THEY DO SOMETHING WRONG Someone you like wasn’t looking where he or she was walking in the lunchroom and bumped into you. Your tray was knocked out of your hands and some of the food spilled over your clothes! The person was embarrassed and apologized and started to clean it up. Show how how you could make that person feel better by forgiving him or her.
7. ASK THE PERSON TO BE YOUR PARTNER You are out on a field trip to the science center. The teacher says that everyone should sit on the bus with a partner. Instead of waiting to see if someone picks you, you decide to ask someone you want to be friends with to sit with you. Show how you would make that person feel special by asking him or her to be your partner.
8. STICK UP FOR SOMEONE Someone on your team misses catching a fly ball during a baseball game. The other kids on the team are mad because you’re losing the game. They start calling him or her “fumble fingers” and “klutz.” You could tell the sun was right in the person’s eyes so that the ball was hard to catch. Show how you could make the person feel special by sticking up for him or her.
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9. APOLOGIZE WHEN YOU’RE WRONG
You laughed at your friend’s haircut. You can see that you hurt his or her feelings. Show how you could make your friend feel better by apologizing.
10. KEEP SOMEONE’S SECRET Someone who knows you and your friend comes up and asks what your friend was whispering in your ear. It was a secret your friend was sharing with you. Make your friend feel special by not telling his or her secret to this other person. What will you say to the person who is asking you to tell?
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Session 7 Handout: Rate Yourself as a Friend
RATE YOURSELF AS A FRIEND For each question check the box that best describes you.
I always do this
I sometimes do this
I need to improve on this
1. I ask my friends what they would like to play.
2. I let my friends go first. 3. I play fair 4. I’m a good sport. 5. I share things with my friends. 6. I offer to help my friends with things. 7. I am honest with my friends. 8. I offer to do favors for my friends. 9. I listen when my friends talk. 10. I encourage my friends. 11. I keep promises. 12. I forgive my friends if they do
something wrong.
13. I let my friends have other friends. 14. I give my friends compliments.
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SESSION 8. SAYING GOODBYE
Advance preparation required for this group session:
8 PAPER BAGS 7 STRIPS OF PAPER FOR EACH PERSON LEADER’S POSITIVE COMMENT FOR EACH MEMBER PENCILS
Objectives for today’s session: 1. To review what happened in previous sessions 2. To help students realize that friendships end and cope with the fact that the group is
ending 3. To illustrate the importance of saying goodbye and give students a chance to achieve
closure on the group PLAN Time
Goal Activity Instructions / Notes of Interest
10 MIN
Check-in Objective #1/2
Share how everyone feels about this being the last session. Go through session topics and discuss what students feel are the most important lessons they learned.
15 MIN
Recognize the positives in each person
Paper bag activity.6 Each student is given a paper bag and asked to write his/her name on it. Then they are given 7 strips of paper and are to write the names of the other group members, one on each strip of paper. Write one positive comment about each person in the group. When done, put the strip of paper into each member’s bag.
5 MIN
Comment exchange
These are good feelings to take away with them. They are not to look at them until later.
15 MIN
Closure Objective #3
Discuss the importance of good-byes. Students say good-bye.
Model saying good-bye. “Good-bye. John, I’ll miss your jokes.”
6 Activity presented at CSSD Student Community of Caring Conference, February 2006.
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