What is Love?. Who is the fairest of them all?

What is Love?What is Love?

Who is the fairest of them all?

I Love You Man!!I Love You Man!!

Love, both as an Love, both as an emotionemotion and a and a behaviorbehavior, is essential to human , is essential to human survival.survival.

The family is usually our first form of The family is usually our first form of love; it provides not only the necessary love; it provides not only the necessary physical things to get by, but it also physical things to get by, but it also provides the necessary emotional provides the necessary emotional support we need to grow up.support we need to grow up.

Everyone needs to know Everyone needs to know they are loved.they are loved.

It starts as a child….It starts as a child….

… …and continues and continues through adulthood.through adulthood.

Being “in love” fills this Being “in love” fills this needneed

At least for a while!At least for a while!

During the “in love” During the “in love” phase, you minimize phase, you minimize the flaws of the the flaws of the beloved. You think beloved. You think about them all the about them all the time. You want to be time. You want to be with them all the with them all the time.time.

Links to Gender Differences

Words to describe falling in Words to describe falling in lovelove

Your words?Your words? Earth shatteringEarth shattering TranceTrance BeguilingBeguiling AmazedAmazed ExhilaratedExhilarated Sudden and intenseSudden and intense TrepidationTrepidation Struck by Cupid’s arrowStruck by Cupid’s arrow

Sigmund FreudSigmund Freud

““Work and love, Work and love, that’s all there is” that’s all there is” – Freud– Freud

““Falling in love is Falling in love is a time when the a time when the normal become normal become psychotic”psychotic”

Love?Love?

The Human Brain in LoveThe Human Brain in Love

IntroductionIntroduction

Psychologists and the public use the word Psychologists and the public use the word “love,” so it must have “love,” so it must have somesome meaning meaning

Today’s lecture Today’s lecture is intended to challenge is intended to challenge your preconceptions and help you to your preconceptions and help you to establish a working definition of loveestablish a working definition of love Demonstrate your thoughts on love using the Demonstrate your thoughts on love using the

ancient Greeksancient Greeks Listen to Helen Fisher’s discussion of “love”Listen to Helen Fisher’s discussion of “love”

HIERARCHY OF NEEDSHIERARCHY OF NEEDS

gods had special powers, but looked like humans. They married, played tricks, and had children.

WHAT IS LOVE (TO YOU)?WHAT IS LOVE (TO YOU)?

Every Person (Child/Teenager/Adult) Every Person (Child/Teenager/Adult) is Uniqueis Unique Brain FunctioningBrain Functioning Genetic Temperament Genetic Temperament

You individual “thoughts about love” You individual “thoughts about love” may be different than the next may be different than the next personperson HANDOUTHANDOUT

Defining LoveDefining Love

For the Greeks, the For the Greeks, the three most three most important important types of love leading to more types of love leading to more successful intimate relationships are: successful intimate relationships are:

• ErosEros (carnal or physical love) (carnal or physical love) • (items 1-4); focuses on emotionally intense, (items 1-4); focuses on emotionally intense,

intimate relationshipsintimate relationships• Tend to idealize their partners; willing to take Tend to idealize their partners; willing to take

risksrisks


The ancient Greeks divided love into a The ancient Greeks divided love into a number of elements: number of elements:

• LudusLudus (game-playing love) (game-playing love)• (items 5-8); love is a series of challenges (items 5-8); love is a series of challenges

and puzzles to be solvedand puzzles to be solved• Quickly moves in and out of relationshipsQuickly moves in and out of relationships• Refuses to make long-term commitments Refuses to make long-term commitments • Wary of emotional intensity from othersWary of emotional intensity from others


The ancient Greeks divided love into a The ancient Greeks divided love into a number of elements: number of elements:

• StorgeStorge (friendship love) (friendship love)• (items 9-12); caring, concerned friendship (items 9-12); caring, concerned friendship

based on similar interests and pursuitsbased on similar interests and pursuits• Love is evolutionary and take time to developLove is evolutionary and take time to develop• Yearn for long-term relationship based on trustYearn for long-term relationship based on trust

Defining LoveDefining LoveFor the Greeks, the For the Greeks, the three most important three most important

types of love leading to more successful types of love leading to more successful intimate relationships are: intimate relationships are:

• Pragma Pragma (practical rationale for relationship).(practical rationale for relationship).• (13-16) It’s about the entire holistic life; not just (13-16) It’s about the entire holistic life; not just

romantic loveromantic love• Willingness to enter relationship to satisfy each Willingness to enter relationship to satisfy each

others’ practical needsothers’ practical needs• More on satisfactory rewards than romantic loveMore on satisfactory rewards than romantic love

Defining LoveDefining LoveThe ancient Greeks divided love into a number The ancient Greeks divided love into a number

of elements: of elements:

• ManiaMania (possessive/dependent love). (possessive/dependent love). • (items 17-20); possessive, dependent love(items 17-20); possessive, dependent love• Partners are insecure and fearful of rejectionPartners are insecure and fearful of rejection• High emotional expressiveness and disclosure, but low High emotional expressiveness and disclosure, but low

self-esteem self-esteem • Anticipates love to be painfulAnticipates love to be painful• Tries to force partner into greater expressions of Tries to force partner into greater expressions of

affectionaffection


For the Greeks, the For the Greeks, the three most three most important important types of love leading to types of love leading to more successful intimate relationships more successful intimate relationships are: are:

• AgapeAgape (spiritual love) (spiritual love)• Items (21-24); selfless, non-demanding loveItems (21-24); selfless, non-demanding love• They are not happy unless partners are happyThey are not happy unless partners are happy

ROMANTIC LOVEROMANTIC LOVE

Also known as Also known as “puppy love”, it is “puppy love”, it is an exaggerated an exaggerated form of love. form of love.

Romantic love is …Romantic love is …Raymond Knee identifies five components Raymond Knee identifies five components

of romantic love: of romantic love:

(1)(1) the belief that love conquers all;the belief that love conquers all;

(2)(2) the belief that each person has only the belief that each person has only one true love;one true love;

(3)(3) the expectation that the beloved will the expectation that the beloved will live up to the ideals of the lover;live up to the ideals of the lover;

(4)(4) love at first sight is possible; andlove at first sight is possible; and

(5)(5) it is better to follow your heart than it is better to follow your heart than your head when choosing a partner. your head when choosing a partner.

SEXUAL LOVE SEXUAL LOVE

The intimate expression of love. This type of The intimate expression of love. This type of love is best saved for a committed married love is best saved for a committed married couple couple

PRAGMATIC LOVEPRAGMATIC LOVE

A rational reasoning kind of love.A rational reasoning kind of love.

Arranged marriage

PLATONIC LOVEPLATONIC LOVE

spiritual and intellectual relationship spiritual and intellectual relationship between a man and a woman. Non between a man and a woman. Non sexualsexual

COMPANIONSHIP LOVE.COMPANIONSHIP LOVE.

Typically found in good friendshipsTypically found in good friendships

ALTRUISTIC LOVEALTRUISTIC LOVE

Selfless love, or concern for the Selfless love, or concern for the spouse.spouse.

MANIC LOVEMANIC LOVE

a crazy, possessive, a crazy, possessive, jealous kind of love. jealous kind of love.

Unconditional love Unconditional love Showing love towards someone Showing love towards someone

regardless of his or her actions or regardless of his or her actions or beliefsbeliefs

SELF-LOVESELF-LOVE

a egotistic, narcissistic kind a egotistic, narcissistic kind of love. of love.

What is Love?What is Love?

CHEMISTRY OF LOVE

Chemistry of falling in loveChemistry of falling in love What are the physical reactions that can What are the physical reactions that can accompany ‘falling in love’?accompany ‘falling in love’?

‘‘high’ feeling – excitement, elation, giddiness high’ feeling – excitement, elation, giddiness

Cause – increased activity of neurotransmitters Cause – increased activity of neurotransmitters in brain [in brain [norepinephrine, dopaminenorepinephrine, dopamine, esp. , esp. phenylethylamine phenylethylamine (PEA)] (PEA)]

Plus Plus endorphinsendorphins (morphine like substances) - (morphine like substances) - calming chemicalscalming chemicals

Chemistry of falling in loveChemistry of falling in love

Love ‘highs’ do not last – usually 6-18 months – Love ‘highs’ do not last – usually 6-18 months – possibly because body develops tolerance … possibly because body develops tolerance … romantic love is short lived.romantic love is short lived.

Withdrawal – loss of mood lifting chemicals – Withdrawal – loss of mood lifting chemicals – similar effects to withdrawal of amphets and similar effects to withdrawal of amphets and loss of ‘calming’ endorphins – dramatic loss of ‘calming’ endorphins – dramatic breakups cause pain. breakups cause pain.

- Michael - Michael Liebowitz (1983). Liebowitz (1983). Chemistry of loveChemistry of love..

MonogamyMonogamy Only 5% of species, those where both Only 5% of species, those where both

parents needed for child’s survivalparents needed for child’s survival Pair-bonding: Pair-bonding: having an emotional having an emotional

attachment to another is a “trademark” of attachment to another is a “trademark” of humanshumans Oxytocin, vasopressin, dopamine release during Oxytocin, vasopressin, dopamine release during

love; feels addictinglove; feels addicting Good feelings associated with partner (classical Good feelings associated with partner (classical

conditioning)conditioning) Tells you “Gee … romance Tells you “Gee … romance with this personwith this person feels feels

great” rather than just “Geez romance feels great” rather than just “Geez romance feels great”great”

Helen Fisher Helen Fisher

THE BRAIN IN LOVE: 15:00

Reiss’s Theory about LoveReiss’s Theory about Love

Reiss’s Wheel Reiss’s Wheel Theory of LoveTheory of Love includes four stages:includes four stages: RapportRapport Self-revelationSelf-revelation Mutual dependencyMutual dependency Personality Personality Need fulfillmentNeed fulfillment

The stages can be The stages can be repeated many repeated many times.times.

The The Wheel Wheel as a as a

Model Model of of

LoveLove

The Wheel as a Model of The Wheel as a Model of LoveLove

Stage 1 The Rapport StageStage 1 The Rapport Stage Partners are struck by the feelings that Partners are struck by the feelings that

they have known each other before.they have known each other before. They are comfortable with each other, They are comfortable with each other,

and both want to deepen the and both want to deepen the relationship.relationship.


Stage 2 The Self-revelation StageStage 2 The Self-revelation Stage The partners share more intimate The partners share more intimate

feelings. feelings. This deepens the relationship because This deepens the relationship because

such sharing is only done with special such sharing is only done with special people. people.

Self-disclosure is associated with Self-disclosure is associated with increased commitment, mutual trust, increased commitment, mutual trust, and love.and love.


Stage 3 Mutual DependenceStage 3 Mutual Dependence As sharing becomes more intimate, a As sharing becomes more intimate, a

feeling of mutual dependence develops. feeling of mutual dependence develops. Falling in love provides a sense of very Falling in love provides a sense of very

rapid expansion of the boundaries of rapid expansion of the boundaries of self. There comes a feeling of loss when self. There comes a feeling of loss when the partner is absent.the partner is absent.


Stage 4 IntimacyStage 4 Intimacy The partners experience more intimacy The partners experience more intimacy

and need fulfillment as they deepen and need fulfillment as they deepen their relationship.their relationship.

Female Courtship RitualFemale Courtship Ritual

Ms. Wonderful Ms. Wonderful and Mr. Sarverand Mr. Sarver

Female Courtship Rituals

Women’s flirting behavior Eibl-Eibesfeldt (1989):

1) Smile

2) Lift Eyebrows in fast jerky motion

3) Open their eyes wide

4) Lower their eyelids

5) Tilt heads down and to the side

6) Look away


Moore (1985; 1989):

Female courtship behaviors were defined as that specific subset of nonverbal behavior that consistently resulted in male attention

52 items identified

Courtship found to be more important that physical attraction for garnering male interest.


Type I, II, III glances, Eyebrow flash, head toss, hair flip, face to face, lipstick application, lip lick, lip pout, smiling, laugh, giggling, kissing, whisper, arm flexion, tapping, palming, gesticulation, hand hold, primp, skirt hike, object caress, caress (hair, leg, buttock, arm, torso, back), lean, brush, breast touch, thigh tough, foot to foot, placement, Lateral body contact, parade, approach, promenade, pinching, tickling.

Male Courtship RitualsMale Courtship Rituals

Male Courtship Rituals

Male courtship rituals:

Submissive displays: Palms up, shoulder shrug, tilt head.

Dominance displays: Entering personal space, putting arm around shoulder, swagger.

Resources displays: Paying for food, drink. Wearing expensive clothes. Bragging.

Male Courtship Rituals

Male rituals harder to chronicle (Taflinger, 1996):

The less ritualized and more original his approach is, the more likely a woman is to accept it

This leads to ad hoc courtship by human males.

Factors Influencing Attraction

1) Proximity

2) Physical Attractiveness

3) Similarity

4) Reciprocity

5) Conditioning

6) Courtship

Psychology of AttractionPsychology of Attraction

1.1. Proximity: Proximity: Geographic nearness is a Geographic nearness is a powerful predictor of friendship. Repeated powerful predictor of friendship. Repeated exposure to novel stimuli increases their exposure to novel stimuli increases their attraction (attraction (mere exposure effectmere exposure effect).).

Proximity Proximity

Geographic nearness Geographic nearness The Mere Exposure Effect – The Mere Exposure Effect –

repeated contact with novel stimuli repeated contact with novel stimuli tends to increase liking for the tends to increase liking for the stimulistimuli

People also tend to meet in locations People also tend to meet in locations engaging in activities that reflect engaging in activities that reflect common interests – the NHSLS common interests – the NHSLS confirms thisconfirms this

Proximity

Reasons why proximity plays a role in attraction

1) Mere exposure

2) More opportunities to meet, interact

3) People are likely to live near people of similar economic, social backgrounds

Proximity

Mere exposure (Zajonc, 1966; Moreland & Beach 1992)

3

3.2

3.4

3.6

3.8

4

4.2

4.4

4.6

0 5 10 15

Ratings of attraction.

Proximity

More opportunities to meet, interact:

Homes for elderly, college campuses distance between rooms predicts attraction (Nahemow & Lawton, 1975)

Manipulating dorm assignments (Festinger, 1950)

Random (alphabetized) seating assignments in class (Segal, 1974)

Proximity

People are likely to live near people of similar economic, social backgrounds:

Wealth, class, ethnicity, and education levels tend to cluster by neighborhood (U.S. Census Bureau, 1990).

People with similar backgrounds are inclined to like each other more (Newcomb, 1956).


2.2. Physical Attractiveness:Physical Attractiveness: Once proximity Once proximity affords contact, the next most important affords contact, the next most important thing in attraction is physical appearance.thing in attraction is physical appearance.

http://www.people.com/people/package/gallery/0,,20034523_20036560_4,00.html

Physical Attraction

People like beauty. Halo effects (Hatfield et al, 1986)

More attractive people get lower bail set, (Downs & Lyons, 1991), more easily influence others (Chaiken, 1979), earn more money (Hamermesh & Biddle, 1994).

#1 predictor of date satisfaction for males is the attractiveness of the partner (Sprecher & Duck, 1994)

Physical Attraction

Beauty is objective:

1) High level of agreement across cultures (Langlois et al, 2000)

2) Certain features of faces are reliably associated with attractiveness (Cunningham, 1986)

3) Babies prefer attractive faces (Cowley, 1996).

Physical Attraction

Beauty is subjective:

1) Different cultures “improve” beauty in different ways (Newman, 2000).

2) Different body types are judged to be more attractive in different parts of the world (Anderson et. al 1992)

3) Body type standards vary over time (Silverstein et al, 1986).

Physical Attraction

Things that people agree on:

1) Symmetrical faces are more attractive

Physical Attraction


2) More average faces are more attractive

3) Waist/hip ratio for women is judged similarly across culture. Men prefer waists 1/3 narrower than hips (Singh, 1993)

4) Across culture, women prefer men to have a V-shaped physique (Singh, 1995)

Physical Attraction


5) Women who have large eyes, prominent cheekbones, small bones and a wide smile are judged more attractive (Cunningham, 1986)

6) Men with broad jaws and chiseled features are judged more attractive (Cunningham et al, 1990).

Physical Attraction

Situational influences on attraction:

1) Contrast effects (Kenrick et al, 1993)

2) Opinions of same sex peers (for women) (Graziano et al, 1993)

3) Girls all get prettier at closing time effect, (Gladue & Delaney, 1990)

4) Glasses (Terry & Macy, 1991)

Physical Attraction

Good male names: Alexander, Joshua, Mark, Henry, Scott, Taylor.

Good female names: Elizabeth, Mary, Jessica, Ann, Brittany, Isabella

Bad male names: Otis, Roscoe, Norbert, Ogden, Willard, Eugene

Bad female names: Mildred, Frieda, Agatha, Harriet, Rosalyn, Tracy


3.3. Similarity: Similarity: Similar views among Similar views among individuals causes the bond of individuals causes the bond of attraction to strengthen.attraction to strengthen.

Similarity breeds content!

Similarity

Schuster & Elderton (1906)

Married couples report significant agreement about politics and religion.

Friends were more similar in attitudes, beliefs, values, and interests.

Correlation does not imply causation.

Similarity

Demonstrating that similarity is responsible for attraction (Newcomb, 1956)

Gave students free rent in a dorm in exchange for being study participants.

Took measures of attitudes on different topics before students arrived on campus.

Over the course of the year, students with similar attitudes reported more attraction to each other

Similarity

Matching Hypothesis: We like those who are like ourselves (Galton, 1870).

Romantic pairs are similar in physical attractiveness (Zajonc et al, 1987)

Even college roommates, prefer to be of similar attractiveness (Carlie et al. 1991)

Sense of humor particularly important (Cann et al., 1995)

Reciprocity

People like positive feedback (Coleman, Jussim, & Abraham, 1987).

Even obvious attempts at flattery increase liking (Drachman et. al. 1978).

Being liked leads to positive interpersonal behavior (1986).

Reciprocity

Over time, people prefer increasing affinity rather than decreasing affinity (Aronson et al, 1965).

This has been referred to as the “couple’s curse”.

Reciprocity

Playing hard to get

Very hard to get empirical data supporting this strategy (Walster et al, 1973)

Although people prefer moderately selective mates to those with no selectivity, lack of perceived interest is typically perceived as a turn off (Wright & Contrada, 1986).

Conditioning

Association with positive or negative stimulus influences attractiveness ratings.

Negative mood leads to lower attractiveness ratings (Byrne & Clore, 1970).

Unpleasant background music when meeting a person leads to subsequent lower attractiveness ratings (May & Hamilton, 1980)

Courtship

1) Opening Lines

2) Female Courtship Rituals

3) Male Courtship Rituals

Introductions

Kleinke et al, 1986;

Investigated what people say when trying to meet somebody they don’t know (pick up lines)

Typical Answers:• “Hi, I’m easy, are you?”• “Where are you from”• “Hi. I’m a little embarrassed about this, but I’d like to get to know you.

Introductions

Kleinke et al, 1990; Cunningham, 1989

Looked at the effectiveness of different types of opening lines in laboratory, and then real life settings

5

5.2

5.4

5.6

5.8

6

6.2

6.4

6.6

Flippant Innocuous Direct

Like

abili

ty

Introductions

Kleinke et al, 1990; Cunningham, 1989 Setting Best Line Worst Line

Club Do you want to dance?

Bet I can out-drink you!

Laundromat Want to have a cup of coffee while we’re

waiting

Those are some nice undies you

have there

Beach Want to play frisbee? Let me see your tan lines.

The Love ScaleThe Love Scale

Rubin tried by having hundreds of couples Rubin tried by having hundreds of couples respond to a questionnaire.respond to a questionnaire.

The The Love Scale Love Scale had three components:had three components: Attachment – Attachment – the desire for another’s the desire for another’s

presence and emotional supportpresence and emotional support Caring – Caring – concern for the other’s well beingconcern for the other’s well being Intimacy – Intimacy – desire for close, confidential desire for close, confidential

communicationcommunication

Is the Is the Love Scale Love Scale meaningful ?meaningful ?

Maybe, couples who scored high Maybe, couples who scored high spend more time looking in each spend more time looking in each others eyesothers eyes

Robert SternbergRobert SternbergTriangular Theory of LoveTriangular Theory of Love

Sternberg’s Triangular Sternberg’s Triangular TheoryTheory

Love is multifaceted, with up to 3 Love is multifaceted, with up to 3 central componentscentral components

1.1. Passion:Passion: intense longing for intense longing for another personanother person

2.2. Intimacy:Intimacy: feeling connected, feeling connected, enjoying one’s company and enjoying one’s company and supportsupport

3.3. Commitment:Commitment: obligations and obligations and responsibilities to one anotherresponsibilities to one another

That’s How It Works !That’s How It Works !

Putting it all togetherPutting it all together Sternberg explains the Sternberg explains the transition transition from from

passionate to companionate lovepassionate to companionate love

Passionate Passionate love develops rapidly and love develops rapidly and intensely, then declines. intensely, then declines. Intimacy Intimacy and and commitment commitment grow. If they don’t, the grow. If they don’t, the drop in passion likely signals the drop in passion likely signals the relationship’s end.relationship’s end.

Taking It ApartTaking It Apart

The interplay of these three The interplay of these three components and their varying power components and their varying power over time results in differences in over time results in differences in how we experience love.how we experience love.

Isolating and combining the three Isolating and combining the three faces gives us informative faces gives us informative labels labels for for differing types of love.differing types of love.

Quick QuizQuick Quiz

1. Love that includes intimacy and 1. Love that includes intimacy and commitment without passion iscommitment without passion is

a)a) Familial LoveFamilial Love

b)b) Companionate LoveCompanionate Love

c)c) Empty LoveEmpty Love

d)d) LikingLiking

Answer: bAnswer: b

• Companionate loveCompanionate love is a strong is a strong bond that includes intimacy and bond that includes intimacy and commitment without passioncommitment without passion . .

2. The process of passing society’s 2. The process of passing society’s values on to new members isvalues on to new members is

a)a) CodingCoding

b)b) ModelingModeling

c)c) BrainwashingBrainwashing

d)d) SocializationSocialization

Answer: dAnswer: d

• SocializationSocialization is the process of is the process of passing society’s values on to new passing society’s values on to new members.members.

3. The Greek term for brotherly love is3. The Greek term for brotherly love is

a)a) AgapeAgape

b)b) PhilosPhilos

c)c) ErosEros

d)d) StorgeStorge

Answer: bAnswer: b

• PhilosPhilos is the Greek term for is the Greek term for brotherly love.brotherly love.

Peck’s Criticisms of “Love”Peck’s Criticisms of “Love” Falling in love (passion) Falling in love (passion) ≠ ≠ lovelove

Excitement related to new, attractive Excitement related to new, attractive personperson

““We fall in love when we are consciously or We fall in love when we are consciously or unconsciously sexually motivated”unconsciously sexually motivated”

The honeymoon always endsThe honeymoon always ends Dependency Dependency ≠ ≠ lovelove

““I need him” or “I’d die without her”I need him” or “I’d die without her” ““What you describe is parasitism, not love”What you describe is parasitism, not love” Love is based on choice, not necessityLove is based on choice, not necessity

Love Love ≠ a feeling≠ a feeling Love is an action, characterized by Love is an action, characterized by

treating someone welltreating someone well Having strong feelings that someone is Having strong feelings that someone is

important or needed doesn’t mean you important or needed doesn’t mean you love themlove them

Myth of Romantic loveMyth of Romantic love Story that two people are “meant to be,” Story that two people are “meant to be,”

that it is predetermined “in the stars”that it is predetermined “in the stars” If it doesn’t end up working out, people If it doesn’t end up working out, people

say it wasn’t “true love” after all say it wasn’t “true love” after all (hindsight bias)(hindsight bias)

Realistically, there are many suitable Realistically, there are many suitable partnerspartners

Love is…Love is…

An action, not a feelingAn action, not a feeling AttentionAttention A risk of rejectionA risk of rejection Independence, not dependenceIndependence, not dependence CommitmentCommitment Self-disciplinedSelf-disciplined

……hard workhard work

Happy CouplesHappy Couples

Partner’s know each other’s hopes, Partner’s know each other’s hopes, quirks, likes, dislikesquirks, likes, dislikes

Secret Weapon: ritualized “repair Secret Weapon: ritualized “repair attempts” to prevent increased attempts” to prevent increased negativitynegativity

Shared, deep sense of meaningShared, deep sense of meaning

Unhappy CouplesUnhappy Couples

Arguments characterized by…Arguments characterized by… Harsh setup: negative and Harsh setup: negative and

accusatoryaccusatory 4 types of negative interactions: 4 types of negative interactions:

criticism, contempt, criticism, contempt, defensiveness, stonewallingdefensiveness, stonewalling

Flooding Flooding Stonewalling Stonewalling Failed repair attemptsFailed repair attempts Bad memoriesBad memories

Love QuotesLove Quotes

““I define love thus: The will to extend one’s I define love thus: The will to extend one’s self for the purpose of nurturing one’s own self for the purpose of nurturing one’s own or another’s spiritual growth” or another’s spiritual growth” - M. Scott Peck - M. Scott Peck““Love is the subtlest force in the world”Love is the subtlest force in the world” - Mahatma Gandhi - Mahatma Gandhi““Love is the only force capable of Love is the only force capable of transforming an enemy into a friend”transforming an enemy into a friend” - Martin Luther King Jr.- Martin Luther King Jr.

““It’s a curious thought, but it is only when It’s a curious thought, but it is only when you see people looking ridiculous, that you you see people looking ridiculous, that you realize just how much you love them”realize just how much you love them”

- Agatha Christie- Agatha Christie

““One of the oldest human needs is having One of the oldest human needs is having someone to wonder where you are when you someone to wonder where you are when you don’t come home at night”don’t come home at night”

- Margaret Mead- Margaret Mead

““Love is a condition in which the happiness Love is a condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own”of another person is essential to your own”

- Robert Heinlein- Robert Heinlein

““Whoso loves… Believes the impossible”Whoso loves… Believes the impossible”

- Elizabeth Barrett Browning- Elizabeth Barrett Browning

““Sympathy constitutes friendship; but in Sympathy constitutes friendship; but in love there is a sort of antipathy, or opposing love there is a sort of antipathy, or opposing passion. Each strives to be the other, and passion. Each strives to be the other, and both together make up one whole”both together make up one whole”

- Samuel Taylor Coleridge- Samuel Taylor Coleridge

““True love comes quietly, without banners or True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked.ears checked.

- Erich Segal- Erich Segal

““Love talked about can be easily turned Love talked about can be easily turned aside, but love demonstrated is irresistible”aside, but love demonstrated is irresistible”

- W. Stanley Mooneyham- W. Stanley Mooneyham

Helen Fisher Helen Fisher

THE BRAIN IN LOVE: 15:00

What is Love?. Who is the fairest of them all?

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