Like so many other humans, you might find cats to be mysterious creatures. But
believe it or not, it’s not that hard to make friends with a feline if you know what to
do. Here are some tips on how to effectively buddy up with a kitty, drawn from
scientific studies and my own experience as a researcher and cat behavioral
consultant.
Cats have unique personalities, but they all speak the same language. Learn how to
get a cat to like you, and you’ll quickly befriend every cat you meet, whether
you’re adopting a new kitten or visiting a friend’s house. With simple ways, you can
easily become a “cat whisperer.”
Transcript
Slide 1Overview Like so many other humans, you might find cats to be mysterious creatures. But believe it or not, it’s not that hard to make friends with a feline if you know what to do. Here are some tips on how to effectively buddy up with a kitty, drawn from scientific studies and my own experience as a researcher and cat behavioral consultant. Avoid Direct Eye Contact Unlike dogs, cats aren't comfortable gazing into your eyes, Radosta says. Cats see direct eye contact as a sign you're trying to intimidate them. In response, they may become fearful or aggressive. Although they're gorgeous, avoid staring into a cat's peepers. your cat You should make a point of interacting with your cat. Research indicates that cats will more frequently approach and play with a person who is attentive to them compared to a person who is ignoring them. Approach a cat the way they other Felines who are friendly with each other greet each other nose to nose. You can mimic that behavior by offering a non-threatening fingertip at their nose level, a few inches away. Don’t hover, just bend down and gently extend your hand. Many cats will walk up and sniff your finger, and may even rub into it. Now that's a successful greeting. Slow Blink Scientists have found that cats like it when you slowly blink at them (think: narrowing your eyes in slow motion). A recent study found that cats would slow- blink back to a person giving them the look. It makes them more likely to approach you too and is certainly worth a try! Play with your cat When your cat is in the mood to hang out with you, don’t always make it about cuddles. Try playing with your cat at least once a day to help stimulate your cat’s mind and build healthy interactions. If you both look forward to playtime, it will help strengthen your bond. play Figure out what’s most fun for your particular cat, because they’re all different. Vitale says that some like passive playing, when they just sit and watch the toy you’re moving around, so if your cat is interested but doesn’t seem to be participating, don’t give up. Others like actively chasing the toy. Train your cat to feelings Whenever your cat has a good experience with you—getting attention, playing a fun game, being fed a special treat. If you pay attention to your cat, play with them, and give them rewards for coming to you, all of these experiences will help build a healthy relationship.This allows the cat to see you are associated with positive things, which may increase the amount of time they spend with you. Be strategic about offering treats If your cat tends to keep his distance from you, Vitale suggests using treats to build up trust. Start by leaving the treats out at a distance, and then, as your kitty gets braver, putting them closer and closer to you. “You can also try talking softly to the cat as they eat the treats so they associate your voice with rewards Don’t try to buy love with food Although treats can be one way to your cat’s heart, be careful to avoid overfeeding (which can lead to health problems including obesity) and also to resist rewarding undesirable behavior with snacks. If the cat just jumped up on the counter and cried for food, giving them treats rewards that begging behavior. If the cat is sitting quietly looking out the window, giving them treats rewards that calm behavior. Pick your timing carefully! your cat Even if you don’t like a behavior, yelling at your cat or spraying her with water is less likely to make the cat stop than it is to make your pet stressed and unhappy around you. Instead, focus your efforts on teaching your cat alternative behavior. If your cat is jumping on the table, for example, resist the urge to shoo her off; instead, try to lure your pet with the promise of a special treat for coming down to the floor. Try brushing your cat Again, if your cat doesn’t like being brushed, don’t do it—avoid stressful and unpleasant interactions whenever you can. Some cats love to be brushed; others hate it! If yours loves it, brushing gives you another opportunity to have up-close, personal interactions that give your cat good associations with you. “For those who like it, then being brushed will be a positive social interaction that helps build a healthy relationship between cat and owner. Respect a Cat's Space When you move toward a cat, it can come off as threatening. That's why cats often gravitate toward the people who most want to avoid them (hello, allergies). If you want to earn a cat's affection, wait for her to come to you rather than reaching out and petting or picking her up. Speak Softly Of course yelling at a cat isn't helpful. But even loud, energetic talking can be frightening to kitties, sending them running for cover. If you speak softly and exude calm, a cat is more likely to want to stick around. Scratch the Right Spots When a cat welcomes attention, stick to petting where it's most likely to make a kitty feel good. The best area to pet is from the top of the head to the shoulders, where kitties normally groom each other. Some cats also like to be petted on the back. But if you see the cat's tail start to thrash, it's a warning that the cat is tolerating it, but not loving it. And don't even think about belly rubs—very few cats like to be touched there. they like it most They're very sensitive to touch, and generally, they tend to like being petted in some places more than others. A small 2002 study demonstrated that cats showed more positive responses—like purring, blinking, and kneading their paws—to petting on the forehead area and the cheeks. They were more likely to react negatively—by hissing, swatting, or swishing their tails—when petted in the tail area. A more recent 2021 study validated these findings with a larger sample size—and many owners can testify to these preferences. Don't overfeed your cat Many think that food equals love, and that withholding food might make your kitty hate you, but a 2016 study of obese felines from Cornell University showed the opposite is true—at least for a period of time. About a month after 58 overweight kitties were placed on a diet, three-quarters of their owners reported that their dieting felines were more affectionate, purred more often, and were more likely to sit in their owner's lap. Don’t assume an only cat Whether or not a cat is happy around other felines is really unpredictable. Some cats will feel more secure as the only cat in the house, and others will feel more secure in a multi-cat household.A shy kitty might come out of his shell if you adopt a companion cat, but you can’t count on it. Make sure your place to hide No matter how much you love your cat, she must have a space of her own, where your pet can retreat if your affection stresses her out. “Allowing them to have their own space where they can deposit their scent will help cats feel more secure in the house and may lead to them displaying a healthier bond with their owner. So when your cat runs off to hide in that special bed in the den, don’t chase her. Instead, trust that your pet is getting the alone time she needs to relax so that she will be ready to play and cuddle with you later. If you have a people If you adopt a cat very young, you can help your kitty get used to people by handling her regularly. We do know that cats that are properly socialized to humans as kittens display less fear of humans and more social behavior. Pet the kitten all over (as long as your pet is comfortable—as always, leave animals alone if they get aggressive), including on the feet, while speaking to the kitten in a calm voice. Offer good treats at the end of a session. Wear soft clothes Laying together is a powerful way to bond with a cat. All you have to do is sit or lay near it; many cats will naturally come close to take advantage of your warmth. Don’t pick up an unfamiliar cat or place them in your lap. Let it happen organically, on the cat’s own terms. Sitting still, in a relaxed pose, is the easiest way to become a cat’s target for snuggling. Fake a yawn Cats may yawn to communicate with other cats. It’s their way of saying, “I’m relaxed, we’re safe!” Yawning shows that you are not a threat, and communicates that you are in a calm, relaxed state. Yawning is contagious between species, so you just might get a yawn in return. Get a box Cats are instinctively drawn to boxes. Set down a cardboard box next to you and wait for the cat to leap inside. Curling up inside an enclosed space lowers the cat’s stress levels and makes them feel safe. Once they’ve settled into the box, you may decide to reach a hand inside to stroke them, or you can use a toy to play “peek a boo” over the edge if the cat is feeling playful. Conclusion Cats have unique personalities, but they all speak the same language. Learn how to get a cat to like you, and you’ll quickly befriend every cat you meet, whether you’re adopting a new kitten or visiting a friend’s house. With simple ways, you can easily become a “cat whisperer.”