Stop and Prevent Bullying - Why victim becomes the victim?

CHANGE YOUR HABITSGAIN CONFIDENCE

ACHIEVE YOUR GOALS

QUICKLY

Neuro Emotional ReAssociation

Some Undesirable Behaviours

Becoming anxious in social settingsStaying in unsatisfying relationshipBeing OverweightFear of facing challenges in lifeInability to be expressive and

assertive

Do we choose to have them?

The answer is Yes and No

Some of these habits are conscious and some unconscious

We need to answer this question:

Where do habits come from?

Two Type of Habits

Action - Oriented

going toward the goal

Stress - Response

Running away from pain

Habit Structure

Any habit always has 3 elements:

Cue RewardThe trigger that activates the habit. It can be conscious or unconscious

Routine

The Behaviour itself. Perfected with Repetition

activation of pleasure centre of brain or erasing pain

The Routine(Behaviour)

What we can do to achieve the outcome

Reward (Outcome)

The Outcome is what we are looking for.

Why do we behave against ourselves?

1. We don’t know much about the cues that trigger our behaviour

Our mom or dad’s frown The Scent of a favourite food

from childhood Seeing old friends become

successful Feeling abandoned

2. Our minds contradict us

The challenge of your BODY Looking beautiful & receiving

attention. Feeling light and fresh in your body vs.

Stopping eating delicious food. Going through sweaty exercises. Losing time to spend with your loved ones or work.

Cognitive model to change habits

One way to deal with different outcome is to Decide to go towards the outcome, Focus on it and repeat the action until new behaviour becomes dominant. We Consciously form new cues and habits to reach the outcome. The old cue and behaviour are still in our mind.

Old Outcom

eNew

Outcome

Old Outcom

eNew Outcom

e

Old Outcom

eNew

Outcome

Old behaviour becomes weaker

New behaviour becomes Stronger

Examples of outcomes that contradict

I want to become more self-confident. But what would others think of me if I become assertive?

I want to study to learn new things. But I want to hang out with others to have fun.

Being in a relationship is fantastic. but I can't find the right partner

I want to be successful, but if I am, I won't have time for my family and friends

Where do my cues come from?

Cues are the result of our interaction with the world and the perception that we hold within us. They shape up from the moment we are born.

They are conscious or unconscious reasoning behind our decisions.

Vs.

Where the cues come from - 2

Cues are memories and concepts we hold in our minds. They work because of the interchanges between our conceptual memories and our perceptual memories processed in our brains.

Perceptual memory Conceptual memory

• Observing an abusive relationship• My dad lost his job because of one

rich competitor

• Abusive relationships are normal• All rich people are evil

Our Perceptions

We choose concepts in life based on our perceptions of events. Early events have the most influence over our perceptions. These usually solidify over time through synaptic consolidation.

My dad left usI am all aloneNobody loves meLove doesn’t exist

It is better to stay withA cheater than notHaving the love I need

If I love them, They will leave Me

Stress-Response Habits

We usually find random ways to cope with stress. Escaping by drinking, smoking, taking drugs and so on.

Feeling stressed out. Lots of painful pressure on your stomach.

Eating will fill up you stomach. You won't feel the pain

Associative model to change habits

In the associative model, we change the structure of the cue. By disconnecting the link between the outcome and the cue, the behaviour won’t be relevant anymore. There is no Reason for it.

Old Outcom

eNew

Outcome

New Outcom

e

There is no reason for old behaviour

New behaviour will be the only behaviour

New Outcom

e

Reality of our behaviours

In reality, our habits, cues and routines are forming a complex structure. One habit might have several cues or one cue may trigger multiple behaviours. We need to know what to work on.

Success

Love

Happiness

Security

One cue can even trigger another cue.

Cognitive or Associative

Changing your behaviour based on willpower alone can be very hard when different habits are running below the surface.

Only a small part of the brain is devoted to decision making.

Using VMPF We can only focus on changing one habit at a time while everything else is in the background. Decision making region of brain

VentroMedial Prefrontal Cortex

Cue Structure

Cues are made of conceptual and perceptual memories.

We store these in our brains likes books on a shelf.

Every memory acquired needs to find its own place.

We recall and look at it many times until is becomes stable.

This is called the Synaptic Consolidation process.

Alter the Cue Structure

Each time we recall our memories we go into the process of Reconsolidation.

We now know that if we diminish our inhibitory actions in the prefrontal cortex, we can relocate our memories and change the structure of our Cues.

This process is usually quick and pain free.

Bullying Habits and Cues

I am being bullied

I am overweight

I am different

I don’t say anything

I am nobody

This is just one examples of habitual structure that I have encountered with one of my clients. There are many more and everyone has their own unique cues and behaviours.

They don’t want to be my friends

NERA

The benefits of Reassociation:• Change is very quick• The structure doesn’t go back to its previous

state• If Combined with CBT, Results become

permanent• Use of willpower is minimized

Cyrus H. Sabounchi Call 0421 136 102

for more information

Resources:1 - The role of the basal ganglia in habit formation2 – CBT Process : Cognitive Behavioural therapy3 - Priming and Multiple Memory Systems: Perceptual Mechanisms of Implicit Memory4 - BDNF function in adult synaptic plasticity: The synaptic consolidation hypothesis5 - Weight control during the holidays: Highly consistent self-monitoring as a potentially useful coping mechanism6 - Different Contributions of the Human Amygdala and Ventromedial Prefrontal Cortex to Decision-Making7 - Extinction during reconsolidation of threat memorydiminishes prefrontal cortex involvement

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