Some Marriage Customs in the Villages Around Tetovo Part 1

Džamutra, or the Bridegroom; Some Marriage Customs in the Villages around Tetovo inSerbian Macedonia or Southern Serbia. (Part One)Author(s): Olive LodgeReviewed work(s):Source: Folklore, Vol. 46, No. 3 (Sep., 1935), pp. 244-267Published by: Taylor & Francis, Ltd. on behalf of Folklore Enterprises, Ltd.Stable URL: http://www.jstor.org/stable/1257384 .Accessed: 28/10/2011 22:40

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D2AMUTRA, OR THE BRIDEGROOM; SOME MARRIAGE CUSTOMS IN THE VILLAGES AROUND TETOVO IN SERBIAN MACEDONIA OR SOUTHERN SERBIA.

(PART ONE) BY OLIVE LODGE, M.A.

I THE marriage ceremonies and customs with which I am here concerned prevailed almost unchanged in villages around Tetovo in Serbian Macedonia, or Southern Serbia, as late as the Balkan War of I912, when this district was freed after over five hundred years of Turkish subjection. It lies some 1400-1900 feet above sea level, at the foot of the Sar Planina range, about forty miles from the town of Skoplje on the Vardar River.

This description of old-time weddings has been based

upon the story of a woman from the village of Jelo'nik, near Tetovo, supplemented by the accounts of peasants from

neighbouring localities, and by my own observations at present-day weddings.

Even before the Balkan Wars some of the ceremonies became modified or obsolete. After that time, and more especially after the Great War, when the people, either as soldiers or refugees, saw other countries and other customs, a still greater modification took place. This was naturally more noticeable in the towns, though as late as 193o I have seen weddings similar in all essentials to the one described here. But villages are everywhere more con- servative than towns, and maintain old rituals longer.

In this region (as elsewhere in Jugoslavia) the bride is 244

Dziamutra, or the Bridegroom 245

always called the nevesta, but the term mlada is now more

popular in the towns. In the villages the bridegroom is still often called the diamutra (pronounced jam-mootra, a Turkish word), but the Serbian term mladozenja is be-

coming more frequent. In some districts he is always known as the zet, or son-in-law, as in the village of Gali'nik, in the mountains near Debar. Here, as in other parts, he is called zet only after his marriage.

In these villages the zadruga, or family group, still persists, where the married sons, cousins or younger brothers live

together, and must obey the domac6in, or head of the zadruga, who arranges the work. His word is law, and anyone who does not obey takes his share and leaves the zadruga. De-

partures often happen nowadays on the death of the father, when the several brothers or cousins divide everything equally, each setting up on his own.

The houses and land are generally owned by the peasants, the land being worked by the various members of the

zadruga, both men and women. Sometimes, however, part is given out on a basis of equal sharing of all products and

crops, on a system very similar to that of me'tayer tenure. Houses in this part of Macedonia are built of sun-baked

mud bricks, the roofs being made of red curly tiles or slabs of rock, or sometimes thatched in a very inadequate way with straw held in place by long "bean sticks." Usually the houses possess an upper storey; the living rooms over the cow-stalls are reached by an outside, wooden, ladder-like stairway, which is sometimes under the same roof as the cowsheds. I stayed in the house of one of the richer peasants which consisted of a large verandah-living-room all in one called a cardak or hodnik. It was open to the air on one side, as the wall reached only part way (about four feet six

inches) up to the roof. The wooden stairway led straight into it from the outer door, or kapija. The other five rooms and the kitchen opened into the verandah-room. None of

246 Diamutra, or the Bridegroom

the rooms was more than about six feet seven inches high, except the verandah-room, because over them was the loft (tavan), made in the slope of the roof. The verandah- room was higher because it had no ceiling, only the bare rafters. The walls were whitewashed mud, plastered over the mud bricks, and the floors of beaten earth. There was no furniture in this verandah-room, except a loom, some

little, low, home-made, three-legged stools of wood, and a

mangal, or brazier, of glowing charcoal. Nowadays heat is often supplied by a stove. In the middle of the hard earthen floor of the kitchen was a hollow for the fire. The smoke escaped from a hole in the rafters above the fire. The podrum, or cellar-store-room, is usually on the ground floor.

II

In the old days weddings always took place in winter, because it was a season of comparative leisure. They were most usual during the seven weeks' fast before Christmas,

Bozidni post, and in January-February, during Atanasovi

posti. For the same reason, or possibly because the priest (pop) was more easily available then, the wedding ceremony was often fixed for a Sunday.

The age for marriage varies in different districts, but in these villages around Tetovo the usual age is fifteen to

twenty; more often than not the woman is a few years older than the man, although as a rule men marry young women for their second wives. If possible a widower always marries again; and it is considered the proper thing for a woman of child-bearing age to have a husband. Marriage for both sexes is considered right and natural, except for the mentally or physically unfit. As the peasants themselves have said to me: " We are not going to run the risk of having defective children, who would be unable to work or be of no use in the zadruga, so So-and-So was never married."

Diamutra, or the Bridegroom 247

They seem to observe this rule faithfully: I have found there are extraordinarily few defectives in the villages.

This state of things is possibly due to two facts: the people come of healthy stock and wives are bought. For why should a man give the price of a wife for a woman who cannot work hard in his house and on his land, or bear him

healthy children, when he has all the girls of the neighbour- hood to choose from ? Again, marriage is not as a rule an affair of love or individual choice, but a business or social

contract, marking the natural culmination of life and

accepted by everybody as a matter of course. The price given for a wife varies in different districts.

In the villages around Tetovo in old times the usual price was 300 gros,' about ?2 12 ; but in 1903 it rose to 8 napoleons, about ?5, while nowadays as much as 5000 or 7ooo dinars may be given, about ?20-?30. In some villages in the Sandjak of Novi Pazar the amount varied from 6oo gro4 in 1906-7 to Iooo dinars in 19I2, 330 in 1922, and 500 dinars in 1926. In villages around Prizren in 1924-32 the cost of a wife for a rich man was 15,000 to 20,000 dinars, and for a poor man 6ooo to 7ooo dinars, and in the Kru'evac district her price at the end of last century was 5 ducats. In villages around Pri'tina, on Kosovo Polje, a wife in 19o6-7 cost 6oo gros. In Prilep, far in the south of Macedonia, the usual price was Io to 30 napoleons, a watern buffalo costing 15 napoleons. I give these figures to show

1 Several Turkish terms were retained in the names of Serbian coins, e.g. gro?, para, etc. These were still in use up to the Great War: but with the fall in the value of the dinar after 1919, these smaller coins gradually fell into disuse. Before the War 25 dinars went to the ? sterling, but from 1919 to 1924 the value of the dinar fluctuated greatly, after which it remained very constant at 275-6 to the ?, until the econo- mic crisis of 1931. Then the dinar again varied, being about 220 to the ? at the end of 1932. Twenty (Serbian) or dinar para= I groS and Ioo (Serbian) para=i dinar. Before the War I napoleon was worth 12 dinars; in 1931, 220, and in 1932, 210; i ducat was worth 12 dinars before the War and 120 in January 1932.

248 Diamutra, or the Bridegroom

the relative prices of wives. In other districts I have found that often a wife and an ox cost about the same. In some parts a widow who had been bought in first marriage might be said to buy her second husband, as she often brings a dowry (miraz), and has for that reason some choice in the matter. In certain districts widows are preferred, because they have had experience of marriage and been well broken in.

This giving of money for a wife, however, is being supplanted, especially in towns, by the bride's bringing a

dowry to her husband. Any girl whose father can dower her well may have her pick of the young men, because any of them would be only too delighted to have her and her money. Thus in a sense girls can now be said to buy their husbands. It remains to be seen what the results will be.

The usual Orthodox prohibited degrees are respected in the arrangement of marriages. First cousins are forbidden to marry, and their children till after the seventh generation. In addition, the peasants do not allow intermarriage between members of families with the same slava (festival of the patron saint) ; Saint Nicholas is an exception, so many families have their slava on this day. Peasants in the north centre have explained to me that the slava commemorates the day on which their original tribe was baptized by the Christian missionary; and in Macedonia that on their conversion the said missionary altered their lar into the saint whose festival they now keep.2

2 Since having heard these explanations of the origin of the slava, I read in the Glasnik of the Skopskog Naulnog Kniga VII-VIII od. druit. nauka 3-4, 1930, an interesting account by Dr. Djuri Truhelka, in which he shows an exact parallel between the cult of the lares or larismus and the krsna slava, even to the use of similar ceremonial objects and elements.

Dzamutra, or the Bridegroom 249

III

The man is very definitely the head of the household, and his wife must always do as she is told, or suffer the conse-

quences. It is the women, however, who are most concerned with tradition, and all ceremonies and customs connected with fasts and feasts, and with birth, death and marriage. The peasants know all the local or national traditions and

legends, as well as all the old songs. They are passed down from generation to generation, and the women teach them to their children and grandchildren while spinning or

knitting round the fire in winter, or in summer when they are minding the cows, or resting and spinning after their work in the fields. These lays have also been sung from olden times by minstrels (guslari), some of them blind, who wandered-and wander still-from place to place like the old Greek bards, chanting to the chords of the gusle, the traditional Serbian musical instrument, which is still played in all parts of the country. It looks like a kind of lute, but is

played with a bow, and has one horse-hair string and often a sounding board of stretched sheepskin. In addition to these national songs, everyone knows by heart a great many of what might be called " ceremonial songs," such as those

given below, and others sung at religious festivals. This

is, however, only what would be expected of a people whose culture is still chiefly oral.

All over Jugoslavia, the peasants, and in fact the whole

people, are very musical, and sing their traditional songs on all and every occasion, always without accompaniment. The children nowadays are taught to sing them in the

elementary schools (osnovna gkola). The songs given below have not been published in English

before; and some not at all. I took them down from the

peasants, chiefly from the women in the villages around Tetovo. In translating them I have followed the original

250 Diamutra, or the Bridegroom

wording as closely as possible, in order to give the general impression and feeling. In one or two instances I have added a few words to convey the emotion which, women told me, they always associated with the songs. I have

kept to the second person singular, which the peasants still use in speaking; very often this is the only form of address they know. In towns people use it also in their own families and with intimate friends; otherwise the second person plural is that generally employed.

IV

Marriage ceremonies might be very briefly described under the following headings :

A. The Preliminaries, dealing with the selection of the bride, and all the betrothal ceremonies.

B. The Wedding Ceremonies, including the preparation of the bridegroom; the preparation and arraying of the

bride, and feasting at both bride and bridegroom's houses and all the attendant ceremonies, songs, thanksgiving, prayers and toasts (blagosilja).

C. The Fetching of the Bride to her father-in-law's house, with the ceremonies connected with it.

D. The actual Marriage Ceremony performed by a priest. E. Subsequent ceremonies, with feasting, singing and

dancing, including those of the marriage night and afterwards.

A. The Preliminaries.

At the numerous festivals and holidays (praznik), for the saints' days in the calendar of the Serbian Orthodox

(Pravoslav) Church, there is always much kolo dancing, generally in the open space round the village church. The

young people do most of the dancing; their elders, especially the men, sit round and look on. All the fathers who have

Diamutra, or the Bridegroom 251

sons of an age to be married keep a look out for a possible daughter-in-law.

After a man has fixed upon a suitable girl for his son, either he goes himself or, more often, sends one of his brothers or cousins, to ask her father whether he is willing to give his daughter in marriage. The answer is usually yes :

whereupon the envoy returns with this message, and is sent back again to ask how much the father and mother want for their daughter. They name a sum, over which the two sets of parents bargain till the amount is settled. The young man and the girl have nothing to do with this, and are never

present, since it is no concern of theirs. But, besides the actual money, there are the customary gifts, principally in the form of long towel-like scarves (peikir), shoes and a

jorgan, or bed cover, made of sheepskins. When the preliminaries have been settled, the bridegroom

goes to the bride's house for the betrothal (veridba). He

brings with him as his gift to her a silk scarf (maramica), a

ring and an apple (jabuka) 3 in which money is stuck. He must also bring bela para (" white money "), consisting of old silver coins, dollars, florins or old Turkish coins, or any others that he may have. The bride also gives him bela para, or u rupi as they are sometimes called, and a present of a

scarf-square. She also must give a small present to all the members of his household. But this is considered only as

3 In other districts of Macedonia, whoever goes to the prospective bride's cottage to ask her in marriage brings with him an apple in which are stuck a certain number of gold coins, which constitute the bride-price. He gives it to her father saying : " I give thee this apple for thy daughter, if thou wilt give her to my son in marriage." In Tetovo it is still (1932) the custom at all weddings for the kum (sponsor) to send a present to the bride of sweets, two ornamental candles and a gilded apple in which is stuck a small twig of gilded box leaves. These are arranged on a tray which a boy carries on his head to her house.

Again in many of the villages around Kru'evac in Serbia the prosidba, or asking the hand of the girl, is still called na jabuka, or with the apple, although there are now no ceremonies connected with apples beyond sometimes giving an apple to the bride.

252 Dzamutra, or the Bridegroom

backshish, and usually consists of pocket handkerchiefs or small scarves, which used to be woven at home but which now for many years have been bought in the town markets.

The bridegroom's parents settle a suitable date for the

wedding. Then follows the assembling of the invited (male)

relatives of the bridegroom to the bride's house for the

midday meal (Sroj i Zrajice, or simply Sroj). This feast used to take place sixty to seventy days before the wedding day, but nowadays only a week before. The bridegroom's father goes out and greets all the bride's relations whom he

meets, saying that on such and such a day he wishes to come to her father's house for sroj i zrajice. Are they willing? Sroj are all the bridegroom's kinsmen, and zrajice is the method of inviting them by going round with a flask (see below). He promises to bring the greater part of the food and drink required for as many guests as are

likely to come to the feast. The custom is for everything, or nearly everything, to be prepared by the bridegroom's family for the feast of sroj, and for him to bring with him the guests, who are mostly his own relatives. Sometimes the bride's kinsfolk help as well.

The guests sit at long low tables (dugalka sofra). They are all men: for the women of sroj do not sit at meat with the men, but either remain with the bride in another room or help elsewhere behind the scenes. The other guests consist of one male member from each neighbouring zadruga; the father or brother of the bride represents her family.

The bridegroom meanwhile remains in his own home with the women who are preparing for the feast. The feasting at the bride's house begins before breakfast and lasts, as the peasants put it, until from the minaret the hodia (Moslem priest) calls to afternoon prayer, Do iti itind~a, as they say in these parts of Macedonia.

In many villages the Christian peasants still keep Turkish

Dgamutra, or the Bridegroom 253

time,4 whereby sunset and dawn are reckoned at 12 o'clock all the year round. They are so remote from towns that

they can calculate time as they please without incon- venience: the old men are used to this method, and the

young men who have travelled can reckon both ways. It is the custom to have a cigani, or gipsy band, playing

throughout the feast of sroj. There is much dancing of the kolo and singing of national songs, and a great deal of noise and enjoyment. The gipsy band usually consists of one or more violins, a 'cello and often a flute-like instrument or

surla, and always a big drum, usually beaten with one wooden and one iron stick.

When the women bring in the various dishes for dinner, they always place the tava, or

djuvec, on the table in front

of the bridegroom's father. This is a stew made of meat, onions, paprika, garlic, or sometimes of rice and onion, and afterwards baked in a tava, an earthenware cooking pot or dish. A pogaca, or large, flat, round loaf, is placed upon it. This, in old days, was made from maize flour, but nowadays, especially among the richer people, of wheat

only, or of wheat or maize mixed with rye, barley or other kinds of flour. A little silver or nickel coin for luck is still put into the dough. On the top of the loaf is

arranged the nilan, or baks'is, in the shape of several silk scarves and smaller pocket handkerchiefs and scarf-squares, all having money sewn on them. A larger silk scarf with

money stitched on it the bride must send to the bridegroom at his home during the course of the day. A long white

platno 5 scarf with embroidered ends is placed beside these. 4 Of the Moslem population, a few Osmanli Turks remain; many are

Albanians of pure or mixed descent. In this district there are no Moslem Slavs: the Christian (Orthodox) population is entirely Slav. They claim Serbian origin, and keep the slava, a typically Serbian festival. They are proud of their knowledge of the old Serbian tra- ditions and legends and history.

5 Platno really implies linen ; but nowadays the term is made to cover cotton, hanks of which are now easily bought.

254 Diamutra, or the Bridegroom

This also has various coins fastened on it, and is wrapped round a silver ring and an altini, or gold ducat, the gifts which the bridegroom has already sent to the bride, now to be formally presented.

At some time during the feast the bridegroom's father stands up and turns over the presents on the loaf, mixing them all up together. After which he takes out from the

heap the long white scarf. He unfolds it, removing the

ring and altini, washes the ring in wine and then drops it and the altini into a glass of wine. He beckons to one of the

young men belonging to the bride's zadruga, one of those

serving the food or looking on. He gives him the glass of wine and the white scarf, together with all the presents from the loaf except the silk scarf-square, which is the bride's gift to the bridegroom, bidding him carry them safely on the loaf to the bride in the room where she is

waiting amongst her female friends and relations. She drinks the wine, and keeps the ring and altini, but gives the loaf to her mother, because it is shameful for her to eat any bread from her future husband's house before she is his wife. In exchange her mother gives her a loaf of her own baking.

I am not certain whether the loaf now sent to the bride by her future father-in-law and exchanged by her mother for one of her own baking is the loaf on which the presents were originally placed, or another, of his wife's baking, which he had brought with him (as is the custom in the mountain village of Galianik, near Debar).

Presently the bride's mother enters, accompanied by a young girl who is either a relation or one of her daughter's friends. This girl carries over her arm all the presents that it is the custom for the bride and her family to give to the various relatives of the bridegroom. For her father-in-law there are always a kos'ulja, or shirt, 6arape, or pair of hand- knitted and embroidered stockings, and lepa maramica, or a beautiful scarf ; for the deveri (who act as " best men "

Dvamutra, or the Bridegroom 255

to the bride, often called bride-leaders), stockings and a

scarf; and for her mother-in-law a bright hand-woven

apron (kecelja or skutoje) and a beautiful scarf for the head (krpe or s'amija). To the rest are given scarves or pocket handkerchiefs, each in his degree. The girl hands the pre- sents to each of the guests, usually going the round of the table.

Some time before the end of the feast it is the custom for all those who have received presents to put some money on the loaf in front of the bridegroom's father, who later in the course of the feast breaks off a corner and sticks in a coin. This he then drops into the apron of one of the young married women, chosen from among the bride's relations, who holds it out in readiness. She at once takes it to the bride in the other room. Meanwhile the bridegroom's father breaks up the rest of the loaf, giving a piece to each guest. While he is doing this, he blagosiljas, or proposes, a toast as follows (blagosiljati is to propose a toast, usually a wish or prayer for blessing and good luck. These toasts are the custom at feasts and festivities):

" Come ! let us all rejoice and give thanks! May God give us all health in our life! May we have good luck in the harvest ! And love one another! And always for ever be friends with each other ! "

The bridegroom's father, or the father-in-law of the bride, svekar as the people always call him, or svekor in Macedonia, next takes his wooden flask (karta) and fastens some pieces of string to its two handles. He takes a coin out of his pocket and attaches it to the string, then passes round the flask to all the guests, including the bride's kinsfolk and household. He also sends it to the women who are with the bride in the other room, to invite every one of them to the wedding. This is zrajice. Each person as he is given the flask must fasten a coin, usually quite a

256 Dzvamutra, or the Bridegroom

small one, to the string, and utter a wish or prayer for good luck. The flask, after it has been the round, is brought back to the father-in-law, who subsequently takes it home with

him, later giving the money to the bride. During the

following week a young married man goes round with the flask from house to house, inviting everybody-men and women-to the wedding.

All this time the bride has been standing up in a room

apart, keeping her face hidden by folding over it the scarf which the bridegroom gave her with the ring and altini. She is not allowed to speak, except surreptitiously to her girl friends when no one is looking. When any of the women or other guests come in to see her, she greets them by kissing their hands, but may never look at them, always keeping her face hidden by holding the scarf over it with her left hand. It might be interesting to note in this connection that until ten years ago, in the town of Tetovo, Moslem brides had their eyes and also their mouths fastened up with silver beads for the one or two days of the wedding festivities. The bridegroom undid them on the wedding night, and then for the first time the bride saw and knew who was to be her husband. Nowadays she has merely to keep her eyes shut and remain silent, especially when anyone is there ; and the husband usually leaves the house for the first night.

When the time comes, all the sroj depart in a body to the

bridegroom's cottage, where a great supper is held, lasting till midnight.

After this the bride is allowed to go out of her room,

wlhen she helps with the work. It is, however, the custom for her during the whole of the week preceding her wedding to have her meals apart from the rest of her family, and

always to eat with downcast eyes, nor may she go out of doors (cf. Gali'nik). But generally one or two of her girl friends are allowed to be with her and keep her company at meals.

Dzamutra, or the Bridegroom 257

Supper (vec'era) at the bridegroom's father's cottage has been prepared by the women of the bridegroom's house- hold when they returned home after escorting the sroj to the bride's house for midday dinner. After they have cleaned the wheat and maize in readiness to be ground at the mill for the bread that will be baked for the supper, they also dine at home. They sing during dinner, as well as while

carrying the sacks of corn to the mill. (I do not know

exactly where the bridegroom has his dinner.) The supper of the sroj is very similar to the midday

dinner, but without the gipsy band, as it is not the custom to dance. Singing songs is allowed, and the guests fully avail themselves of this permission.

This is the end of sroj. The next event is the svadba, or

wedding, with all its attendant ceremonies and customs.

B. The Wedding Ceremonies. First let us visit the bride's home on the eve of the

wedding, some time about midday, when the bride leads seven or eight of her girl friends to the chest (sanduk or

kofte) where she keeps her clothes. She gives away all her maiden's dresses, except the one that she will need to wear that day. After her wedding, she can never put them on

again, for then she must always dress as a married woman. Later some of the girls go round the village with a wooden flask decorated with flowers, inviting all the girls over ten

years old to come to supper that evening, saying, " Slavka invites thee to her wedding " (" Zove Slavka za svadba "). A few young men also are asked, and all the next-door

neighbours, old as well as young, are expected to come as a matter of course.

As soon as all the invitations have been issued, the girls go back to the bride's house. When it is time for their

guests to arrive, they cluster round the outer door, in readiness to welcome them. Usually the girls all arrive at

R

258 Dz'amutra, or the Bridegroom

the same time, always dressed in their best clothes, and

go inside singing:

" Good evening, sweet friend! All the guests invited with the flask are here ! All the maidens gathered together !

O ! my friend ! Soon wilt thou be separated from thy kith and kin !

From all thy kin and from thy gentle mother! From thy mother and thine old father ! From thy father and all thy gentle brothers and sisters ! From all thy brothers and sisters as well as from thy gentle

sisters-in-law. Like a sheep separated from a great flock, Like a stalk of wheat taken from a great field, Or like a bunch of grapes cut off from a great vine !"

The bride begins to grieve and say " Jao ! jao!" (Woe ! woe !) during the singing of this song. The girls therefore begin another, and sing:

" Wail and cry as much as thou wilt ! Now leavest thou the home of thy kindred. Now leavest thou thy gentle

mother.! "

After this the sofra (a low, round Turkish table, about ten or twelve inches high) is brought out for the girls to have

supper. Not a grand feast, but plenty of bread and

probably one dish of meat and vegetables or whatever may happen to be in the house. Nevertheless, they sit round, singing till midnight, or even till dawn. Some time during the evening they sew the twelve aprons together, zavijalka, which will be used next day to cover the bride's horse. When the time comes, the bride and all the other girls lie down on the floor side by side and go to sleep. Sleeping on rugs or sheepskins spread on the floor is still customary in this part of Macedonia. Similar rugs or carpets are used for coverings.

Diamutra, or the Bridegroom 259

Now consider the preparation of the bridegroom. After the wedding guests have begun to arrive, or have already arrived, at the bridegroom's father's house, but before they go to fetch the bride, the bridegroom must be made ready for the wedding ceremonies by being shaved and washed and clothed. These preparations take place either in the

podrum or in the stable, wherever may be plenty of straw. First of all appears the sluga (literally the servant). He is one of the bridegroom's friends, and must be married; his

duty is to instruct him in the ceremonies and customs, explaining what he is expected to do and everything he

ought to know about women and girls and marriage, and in fact generally to look after him. He puts an apple and a bunch of sweet basil or bosilijak (Ocimum basilicum L.) in the hot water in which the bridegroom later will bathe. The sluga then wraps round his charge a towel, often

beautifully embroidered, and shaves him (his face only). Usually this is the first time in his life that he has been

shaved, because it is considered sramotan (shameful) and bezobrazan (impudent) if he shaves before marriage, though afterwards he may do as he likes. This used to be a hard and fast rule, but nowadays it is not so rigid; yet in some districts the first shaving still immediately precedes the wedding, and practically everywhere there is special shaving before marriage. The custom of not shaving in times of mourning as a sign of grief and respect is still very generally followed both in towns and villages.

During the process of shaving, the girls, chiefly those of the bridegroom's own household, sing:

" The hero sits on a silver seat, Low bending his head 'neath the green fir-tree ! 'Alas, O Fir-tree ! My head aches so !' 'Tell thy father of thy aching head !' But his father answers : ' Thou art not mine i So seek I no healing medicine for thee ! '

260 Dzvamutra, or the Bridegroom

'Woe is me ! Mother ! O my head aches so !' ' Thou art not mine ! So seek I no healing medicine for thee ! '

'Alas! Sister ! My head aches so !' 'Thou art not mine! So seek I no healing medicine for thee '

'Go find thee a maiden to heal thee! She will bring the magic charms !'

Two barbers shave Milo' clean!

Two barbers do shave him ! Two barbers, two grey falcons !"

When the shaving is finished, the sluga takes the towel and gives it to the bridegroom, and he to his mother, who some time before the actual wedding ceremony places it in the bride's chest. I do not know whether it is the custom here for some of the shaved-off hair to be wrapped in this

towel, as in Galianik. The apple and the basil are also later taken out of the bath water by the sluga and given to the

bridegroom's mother, who puts them in the chest beside the

shaving towel. The sluga next takes all the bridegroom's clothes, even

his fez, and the little white skull cap he wears underneath, of which one end must show to indicate that now he is a

bridegroom, and wraps them up in a towel, putting them on the kanta, or old-time weighing machine; then very quickly, as the people are coming in and out, he weighs them. (The peasants give no reason for this action.) After the weighing, the bridegroom is washed and dressed in the clothes that he must wear for his wedding: consisting of white linen or cotton under-trousers (gale), and a kilt, called a fustan, made out of thirty metres of white hand-spun and hand-woven linen, cotton or hemp material. This is first pleated, and then put under a bed-board, or simply under the sleeping-rugs, to be pressed. (Nowadays less material is used.) With these he wears a silk embroidered sleeveless

Dzamutra, or the Bridegroom 261

waistcoat (jelek) and a white linen or cotton shirt. This is, I think, made like an ordinary shirt, and not attached to the fustan, although in several districts the national dress of the men includes a full shirt worn outside like a Russian tunic, except that usually it is fuller. (Cf. Nis, Vranja, Bosnia, Novi Pazar, etc.) On his legs the bridegroom wears gay knitted socks or stockings, with patterns and flowers worked on them, and opanci, or plaited leather sandals. He has brightly coloured knitted or woven garters. He also wears tozluci, a kind of gaiter made out of different coloured

wools, usually knitted and embroidered at home. They fasten down the back with hooks and eyes, as in Montenegro. Round his waist is swathed a many-coloured belt, several yards long. It is either woven wide like a scarf of silk or cotton, or of wool, when it is usually not more than a foot wide. He has to wear his linen or cotton garments through- out the wedding ceremonies, whatever the season of the year.

Nowadays the bridegroom wears the same clothes as the other men, and is not obliged to stand throughout the wedding ceremonies clad only in his linen or cotton kilted tunic and trousers when all the other men are wearing their home-spun woollen clothes, as was formerly de rigueur.

Afterwards he comes out of the podrum and appears as the beautiful bridegroom, or diamutra, and goes among the assembled guests, first of all greeting his parents by kissing his father's and then his mother's hand, saying to each of them, " Oprostite mi! " (" Forgive me! "). They both reply, " Prosto sinko ti e sretnu ! " (" My son: I forgive thee, may good fortune always be thine !").

The girls on the 6ardak then sing:

" Before the battle, the hero in his garden Asks of his mother, pardon: 'I forgive thee: go, my son, and seek a maiden ! ' The hero then asks of his father, pardon: 'I forgive thee: go, my son, and seek a maiden ! '"

262 Dzvamutra, or the Bridegroom

In Galianik they go to the graves to ask forgiveness of the dead.

The guests then eat a hurried midday meal with the

bridegroom and his father, going immediately afterwards in a body to the bride's house to fetch her and escort her back to her new home. Just before their departure, they all

sing : " Permit us, 0 fair sir;

Home to return ! Come, sweet maiden, and look at the dew! To see what the time is and who is outside ! If it is early, 0 sweet maiden, Stay with us, so we may sit yet awhile ! If it is late, 0 sweet maiden, Come away with us when we depart !"

After which the girls sing again: " Come ! Greeting and good health to all the splendid wedding

guests! Ho ! Greetings and long life to the gallant bridegroom ! Greetings also to the two young deveri ! And all good wishes to the kum and stari svat! And to all of us long life and health ! Long life and good health to our new daughter-in-law ! To the daughter-in-law and to her gracious mother ! "

All the girls staying in the bride's house for the wedding get up at dawn and sing:

" Dawn breaks and the maiden prays! No matter how early cometh the dawn, Into the walled garden I go To pick me three bunches of flowers: To cast into my mother's lap, To obtain from my mother, pardon ! And from my father, forgiveness ! "

After this the girls return to their homes, put on their best clothes, and a little later all go back again to the bride's cottage. The bride has in the meantime been left alone.

Diamutra, or the Bridegroom 263

The next event is the arrival of two men of about forty to

fifty years of age, belonging to the bridegroom's family, called pridari, or gift-bringers, leading two laden pack- horses. They bring candles, as many as are needed to burn beside the bride at night; also a barrel of wine containing 30 okes,6 and a flara, or large straw-covered glass vessel, containing 5 kilos 7 of rakija,8 and lastly a large flat loaf

(pogala) and 60 kilos of wheat (vito). While they are unloading, the girls sing:

" Welcome are the two young gift-bringers ! Welcome are ye, bringers of good news ! Wine and rakija all are brought! The maiden has no need to beg! Did ye beg everything as ye came through the gipsy quarter ? Did ye beg all the horses ? And did ye beg all this wheat That ye might come to the maiden's wedding ? Everything is ready for the wedding guests ! And my face shall not be ashamed before the people !"

After the song is ended, the girls go into the other room, where the bride is waiting with the rest of the girls, who had not been singing. Her mother is not with her, as she is busy getting ready all things needful in the house.

Some five minutes or so before the arrival of the great bulk of the wedding guests, or svatori, from the bridegroom's house, two of them, always young married men, called the mustuldzije, the forerunners or warners, ride on ahead to the bride's home. When they approach, some of the girls of the bride's household are waiting there to receive them, singing :

" Welcome, ye two Forerunners of the Wedding Guests! Welcome, bringers of good news!

6 An oke is nearly 3 lbs. 7 A kilo, or kilogramme, is a little over 2 lbs.

8 Rakija is spirit distilled from plums, grapes or other fruit.

264 Diamutra, or the Bridegroom

But where are all the splendid wedding guests, Are they all left behind on the way ? Are they all riding borrowed horses? Did they go and beg a horse ? For horses and wedding garments they must have !"

During the singing of this song someone from the bride's

zadruga gives a present of a scarf to one of the mustuldgije by throwing it over his shoulder.

As soon as all the guests arrive, they are greeted with the

customary words of welcome-" Dobro dolli ki eni svatori ! "

(" Welcome, all ye splendid wedding guests! "). The guests sing several songs before going inside to midday dinner.

A gipsy band plays during the whole of the midday feast in the bride's home. Five or six long trestle tables (dugalke sofre) are usually set out for all the members of the bride's household, both men and women, except the bride's mother and some of the other women, who cannot eat with them because they have to cook and serve the dinner. But they do not all sit down together, since it is the custom for the relations of the bride and bridegroom to eat this midday meal apart. Therefore, in a room or rooms of the cottage, sofre are arranged for the bride's relations and all the guests staying with them, while the bridegroom's family, as well as guests from other zadrugas, have their meal in the avlija, the open space or farmyard in front of the house. Here other sofre are often placed for them, and in winter they have to spread straw to keep away the mud or snow. At such times some of this straw in the farmyard is heaped up like a table and a cloth spread over it. Low forms are placed round it for the guests, all of whom are men, for the womenfolk of the bridegroom's zadruga on this occasion stay at home.

On the north side of the straw sofra sits the svekar, with the kum on his right hand, and the stari svat (chief guest) on his left. In olden times the stari svat was always an old

Diamutra, or the Bridegroom 265

man (the literal translation is " old guest "). Nowadays he is often middle-aged or quite young, the domalin, or chief (usually the father or grandfather) of the bridegroom's

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Here sit the poor, the uninvited and unimportant people.

zadruga, choosing which of his kinsmen or friends he wishes to be the stari svat for the occasion.

On the west, behind the seated svatori, stands the bride- groom, with the two deveri on his left, and on his right the attendant sluga. When he arrives, he is wearing at the

266 Dzamutra, or the Bridegroom

right side of his fez a c6itka (a silver cord, about six inches

long, plaited at his home, with an old silver coin sewn on

it), the sign that he is a bridegroom. He also wears over his

right shoulder, arranged so as to show the beautiful em- broidered ends, the scarf which the bride sent him, and which was turned over on the flat loaf during the feast.

On the east, behind the seated svatori, stand the on- lookers and the less important guests. All are men. On the south side sit the uninvited poor from the village, as well as any other uninvited people, waiting, as the saying goes, for a piece of bread.

When all are seated in their proper places, the svekar, kum and stari svat each in turn take up a two-handled cup- like vessel made of baked earth, called a grne, holding two or three litres of wine. And, while they are still sitting down, each of them holds it up : first the svekar proposes this toast :

" Come ! Here's good health to you! Welcome are ye all! Your host proclaims: Long life to thee ! All are welcome here: says the father-in-law! 'Tis well that we have found one another! Everything is good and better than the best !"

And all the people say " Amen " after each toast. The bridegroom also bows low from the waist three times, holding his hands to his face, the sluga and the two deveri doing likewise.

The kum, when the svekar has finished, proposes the next toast, and after him is the turn of the stari svat. All the toasts are very similar. After each they drink to good luck.

When all the toasts are finished, a young married man comes from the inner room where the bride's kinsfolk are sitting, takes an embroidered scarf out of his pocket, and, going up to the bridegroom, throws it over his right shoulder, drawing it through his belt three times. At the third time

Dzamutra, or the Bridegroom 267

he pulls him towards him with it, and then flings it over his

right shoulder for him to keep. Behind him cluster the bride's mother and all the other relations. She gives the

bridegroom a belt, a shirt and an embroidered scarf. When he receives these, he bows very low and kisses her hand. He also gives her a present, which is passed to him by the sluga, who takes all the presents from the father-in-law, handing them to the bridegroom to give to each person. The bride's mother receives either a leather coat (kozu) or a pair of shoes. She then goes away, and her place is taken by a near girl relative-a nice-looking girl is always chosen, dressed in her very best clothes. She goes up to the bride- groom and gives him a second c6itka, as a present from the bride. This he attaches to his fez by the side of the other. She herself then receives a present of a new pair of shoes (opanci used to be given in olden days), whereupon she kisses the bridegroom's hand and then goes back to the bride.

(To be continued)