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Scars beneath our skins

Feb 11, 2017

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Scars beneath our skins

a n o v e l l a

Cassandra CabesasCamille LestonesDiana Marriz NaldozaJessa Mae De GuzmanEdgar FernandezAiza TaculadMayfie DulangHenrhea DuayJheli May CarballoNikka Mae GalindezMichelle TamesisJustine Paulo TapilNoelyn Gay DuranHilly Rose GuanzonGedan BeliranMarj FortichKatrina Ann CaroDoreen Jane NuescaRutchel SaplotIriss RabagoDiayanara Rose CachoErika Paglinawan

The silence,a voida word for painThe scara tracea window to the soulThe heartit feelsand easily broken

W h o i s s h e ?

This is a new book slash journal of mine. I just filled the recent one because I discovered doodling and filled the recent one with those. SoI have been told to do so since the day I stopped going to school and started locking up myself in my bedroom and discovering different kinds of father-like names mum started going out with. It was the day after my dad, Kanye left mum and I. The following week I remembered was the best birthday celebration I ever had my whole life because mum took me to some amusement park and the following day I remembered I was even more energetic because I get to do mountain climbing and camping at the forest the following day but I remembered how I just stayed one night at the camping inside the tent when a guy with a rose-tattoo on his arm called Oscar came to camp with us but I was sure the face he had as he faced mum was a face of familiarity saying I missed you. I did not quite enjoy that night. But the smells of smores by the bonfire made me want to go out and grab some. I was so happy that night I did not remember how much of those I actually ate. Oscar played the guitar and his slender body doing the grooves as he play country music made me love that moment. Mum being amused with him and I did not matter that but the laughs and singing and dancing was the best. Mum told us a tale by the fire and I know it was a kind-of-explanation-tale on how and why Oscar was with us during my birthday-week camp. I felt horrible I was enjoying the presence of this man just a week after I was made fatherless. Later I realized I was the happiest as I saw their hands intertwined and hugged me. I felt complete. Mum, Oscar, and I can be a new family now. We can be infinite.Together.But everything went crazy when I discovered Oscar, a guy my mum introduced me to during the camp night was the man behind why dad left us. I then became unsure how I felt for Oscar. I hated mum that he also hated Oscar because he is not his soul mate after all that can make me feel loved as well as he did to her. I hated mum the most as I discover that she even broke up with him and I think it is now my fault why she is loveless and that kind of paid my anger towards her because I was also feeling guilty. I dont know.I stopped eating meals even bathing I just stayed inside my room and sleep and play final fantasy on my play station dad gave me on my 10th birthday. She tried to fix me and brought me to a doctor. I dont know whats he called but I remember his clinic does not even look like one. I sat on a sofa making me tell him the tale after my dad left and how after he left I lost my appetite and later get even hungrier than ever, I simultaneously feel extremely happy and real real sad even if it was a sunny day and many more dualities that are unexplainable by a mere teenager like me can explain.But then my mother, like how I have always remembered is an amazing woman who I believe has tried her best looking for her other half by the moment she realized my dad isnt the one for her. I realized, Trying is difficult but I know it is worth the pain. My mother, despite being broken hearted for a couple of times, has become my inspiration.Every week she goes to someplace else leaving me with a ref loaded with goods and away she stays for days and I would not be surprised when she comes back home telling me I will find him someday, this might not be the day yet but I will find him and so my life searching for mine started when I was fifteen.Well, things just dont go pretty well to us Wests.Although I lost appetite I always get to eat plenty of junk foods whenever mum would leave me with money and an afternoon hang out with my best friend. Were good childhood friends and Hes a nerdy (yes, my friends a He) guy with those thick lenses we usually stereotype them wearing, but yeah hes wearing those. One time I tried wearing them and in a minute I got dizzy and felt nauseous. He often times hang out with me though not at home because his place a mess according to him and mines, well, boring empty. We go to parks and arcades and he shares how stupid, and difficult, and strict, and ugh his dad was whenever he just made a ninja move or whatever little mistake. Hes beaten so many times and thats why I do not wonder why hes got no mom even before we actually became friends before they move here. And also his bruises and wounds are not to be questioned already. It is every day though that he tells me of his agony and sufferings caused by his dad but we always get to enjoy the rest of the day when we do play station two players at home. He hanging out with me made me think back then Is he gay or am I lesbian? AnywaysWere very close to each other and for goodness sake he knows the whole soul mate story I have learned from mum of course and he was thinking it was him or might be him for me since we grew up knowing the world together, might as well we are for each other he convinces me with that joke. A kiss would be a good try we both agreed on but God have mercy on me he is a gross kisser. His tongue all over my mouth and his braces hurts my lips. I remembered how I spit blood that night I brushed my teeth as his brace caused a scratch on my lips. I dont want to get mad at him because hes my best bud but it really hurts. I was pressing my lips that night and cry myself to sleep not knowing what pain there was inside me.Gross I know.I remember the way I withdrew from him and slapped him hoping his braces would get off somehow. I bet it was a hard slap because I remember the trace of my hand on his right cheek even the next day at school. And after fifteen I get to transfer and that was the first time mum and I actually live to another place closer to one of his soul mate suspect. I felt sad upon leaving my best bud and he even cried the day I told him about mum and I leaving town.I am pretty mature on my age which is a big talk at my new school where I easily get the reputation and I think thats a good thing because guys would look up to me and it was never a difficult thing for me to distinguish hot guys to the lame ones like my best friend Theo, not that hes not actually hot but remembering the first kiss gives me the Goosebumps.Kids here in the new place has become my people and they call me pretty and I confidently felt glad how I automatically belonged to the cool kids group and that they, including the teachers would look up to me as I pass the corridor even.Going back to my soul mate suspect hunt, I started to have a proper boyfriend and I cant actually recall how many were they already but all that I can actually remember were those that has a T on their names. I date guys at school whos 2 years older than I am and it all turns out fun to them but seeing how I can actually feel unsatisfied with them is a horror for me. It all comes to me like man! Am I gonna end up like mum? Things pretty much went well with Tyrone from the basketball team captain and we would hang out every afternoon on the court before and after his practice and that he would walk me home, it was the longest relationship I had so far. It lasted for 7 days! We actually got a weeksary but just after he kissed me a celebratory kiss I broke up with him and that kind of started every freaking relationship I ever had.Despite having so many boyfriends I had in the past years, people did not even withdrew dare calling me slut and stuff because I date guys who belong to such social level wherein they needed not to climb on to because theyre on top. After Tyrone, I get to date my lab partner Terrence whos quiet a dimwit but heavens open when he smiles at me whenever I accidentally pour some liquid substance on our table. He would say thats okay pretty. I got you and yes he did. We would make out after class and I would sit still on my seat pretending to talk to him as we were actually waiting for the lab to be empty except us two. It was kind of usual to me whenever I know how guys would be so aggressive when it comes to such but then there came a time after lab my enthusiast on Terrence smile got all grey as I received a text from mum saying Theos dads dead already. Terrence came to me looking all fierce and cute at the same time but I just did not feel like it. I cried suddenly and that was crazy. He started fidgeting as he was unsure what he actually did me. I can see him trying to look at himself hoping he can make it right that I stop crying. Finally I stopped crying and he asked me what happened to me gently. I find him sweet but I told him I grieve for this day love but I just love you hes leaning forward, no more. I stood up and grabbed my bag and flipped my hair over him. what? he asked for clarifications expecting this would last. I love you no more I said clearly straight to his face.Then comes the present School Council President whos got this weird beard and yet devilishly handsome face and with his earring I just knew it was him. Its kind of hard to have him that time because he was in a relationship with the girl named Anne who is running for the position of Secretary of the Student Council. Its the election week and I just made the most desperate move I ever thought of. There was a call for desperate measure and theres an urge to necessary have Timothy, the President.And soI ran as a Secretary of the School Council. Having so much influence being a school cheerleading captain I just had the confident Id win that

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