Raising children in a diverse society abt 2

Raising Children in a Diverse

SocietyAsya Taylor

Group Exercise Get into small groups (3 or 4 people) Make a list of qualities you believe are important

for a parent to posses AND challenges a parent may face when….o Disciplining their childo Communicating with their child o Preparing their child for diversity (Especially in schools)

Intro to Ch. 10 Parenting PROCESS in the a society that is diverse

economically, by race/ethnicity, and in terms of family structure

Objective: To understand and begin to recognize how the parenting process is influenced by was of gender, race/ethnicity, and social class INTERCONNECT within the family structure.

Addresses the parenting process in a diversity of social circumstances

Parents in 21st Century America: Variations

Family Form: Married couples (64%), Unmarried parenting couples (3.7%), Single mothers (24.6%), Single fathers (4.3%) Grandparent families (3%)

Living Arrangements: New level of complexity Multipartnered Fertility: a person having children

with more than one partner. “Regardless of their living arrangements or family

structure, parents today face a myriad of questions that would not have been imagines just a few decades ago.

Parenting Challenges and Resilience

Some positives..o Parents now have higher levels of education and are

likely to have had some exposure to formal knowledge about child development and child-raising techniques

o Many fathers are more emotionally involved than several decades ago

o New communication technologies Negatives..

o Difficulties and mistakes made by parentso Helps to know that children can be remarkably resilient:

Children (and adults) can demonstrate the capacity to recover from or rise above adverse situations and events

Larger Environment and Parenting

The family ecology perspective (Chapter 2) leads us to look at how the larger environment challenges parents today

1. Balancing work and parenting 2. Many influences on children other than those at home3. Emphasis on how parents influence their children can lead

to them feeling anxious about their performance as parents

4. Stress on parents due to caring for a children and elderly parents

5. Parenting has become a lifestyle choice among many.

Stress Model of Effective Parenting

Page 257 Stress that parents experience and cause

parental frustration, anger, depression, and household conflict.

Having social support mediates, or diminishes, this adverse relationship

Transition to Parenthood

About 40 years ago, Alice Rossi conducted an analysis and asserted that the transition to parenthood is difficult for several reasons

• First time parents- little experience• Geographically distant from friends and family

(common)- feel isolated– especially true for immigrant mothers

• Employed mothers- Stressed- especially those with inflexible schedules and little room for promotion

• Postpartum depression- in about 10% of new mothers

Transition to Parenthood cont.

Study among low-income black families• Those who were pleased with their pregnancy were less

likely to look at parenting as burdensome • For couples- less time spent relaxing together- decline

in emotional and sexual relationship• Transition to parenthood is easier for couples who rated

their relationship high in quality prior to having a child– even when they have an unusually fussy child

• Becoming a parent typically involves the paradox of parenting:• “New parents feel overwhelmed , but the motivation to

overcome their stress and do their best proceeds from the stressor itself- the child as a source of love, joy, and satisfaction” (Coles 2009).

Gender and Parenting Cultural tradition- mother assumes primary

responsibility of the child Mother is also expected to be child’s primary

psychological parent– take on major emotional responsibility of child’s upbringing and safety

Recently– society expects “good” fathers to not only assume considerable (usually primary) financial responsibility, but to also actively participate in child’s care.

Motherhood

Mothers typically engage in more hands-on parenting than do fathers. (Mother could be single, cohabitating, or married. Parenting style doesn’t change)

Take primary responsibility for their child’s upbringing

Mothers define “quality time” differently from fathers

Motherhood cont. Heterosexual fathers see themselves as more

involved with their child’s life than their partner does

When mother see fathers as competent parents—and when fathers believe that their child’s mother has confidence in them—fathers are more likely to be highly involved” (Fagan and Barnett 2003).

Single Mothers About 38% of all births occur to unmarried

women Single women, dramatically more often that

single men, assume responsibility for child rearing

Single mother is a diverse category- by race/ethnicity, immigration experience, education, and socioeconomic class.

Single mother: by choice

Adopt or use donor sperm/artificial insemination Tend to be in their 30s or 40s Stages in the decision to become a single mother

by choice1. Woman begins to realize that finding a partner

before becoming a parent is unlikely 2. Investigates options– adoption or nonstandard

insemination• Mobilizes support from friends and family

3. Once the child is in her life, she continue to construct her roles around financial support and caring for the child

Single mother: by circumstance

Variety of ways that a woman can arrive at this status

More likely to live in poverty “Prince Charming” Some keep biological fathers of the child at a

distance for multiple reasonso Poor relations, safety concerns for children,

apprehension about father’s illegal activities, or seeing him as generally unreliable

Single mothers are well aware that to be married is the cultural ideal

Single Mothers Single mothers often feel stigmatized These negatives attitudes encourage society-wide

reluctance to provide resources for single mothers and their children

Many single mothers construct support networks Many brothers, brothers-in-law, grandfathers,

uncles, and male cousins act as father figures to the children

Single Mothers cont. Private Safety Net- social support from family and

friends, --associated with children’s better adjustment.

Comes with costs– Single mothers undertake an “ungainly balancing act… as they walk a tightrope of reciprocity, social isolation, and material support frequently coupled with humiliating condemnation”

Mothers commonly choose to further their education to improve life for themselves and their children

More stress can come from welfare (seen also in Chapter 7)o Can cause unsatisfying work at poverty-level wages, new day

care struggles, and less time with their children.

Fatherhood Father’s involvement in a child’s upbringing --

positive cognitive, emotional, and behavioral outcomes from infancy into adolescence

Father absence -- adverse effects– cognitive, moral, and social development

Encouraging father contact is not always the best thing

Social fathers- nonbiological fathers in the role of fathers (stepfather)

Married Fathers Increasingly invested in their children’s daily

lives– engage in breadwinning, planning, sharing activities, and teaching their children

Fathers are more likely to play with or engage in leisure activities with children

Low income fathers of color – not always unmarried/absent fathers– usually married AND involved with child’s upbringing

Stressed father– less effective father

Father ComparisonStay-at-home Father– married

Single fathers Nonresident fathers

• 140,000 in US– 2008

• Some are out of work force

• avoid sending children to day care

• Wives earn money• Describe the

experience as “humbling”

• New respect for parenting

• Small percentage compared to single mothers

• Only 4%• About half of these

fathers were never married– some divorced– small proportion were widowed

• Most only parent one child

• “stepped up” in difficult or rough times

• Unlike single mothers, rarely ask for help from family members

• Odd, unmasculine, or weak stereotypes

• Usually biological fathers– rarely adoptive

• Move in and out of child’s life

• May be living with one of more of his other biological children

• May be serving as a social father to other children

• Stereotyped as disinterested

• Studies show– many visit children regularly OR show genuine interest in the lives of their children

• Practical support for kids

• Involvement depends on – relationship with mother, age, religion, participation status, education, and substance abuse history.

What do Children Need?

All- encouragement, adequate nutrition, and shelter– parental interest in their schooling, consistency in rules and expectations

Needs differ- ageInfant Pre-

schoolSchool-aged

Teens

• Discipline is unacceptable

• Unable to change their behavior

• Don’t understand

• Practice motor development

• Exposure to language

• Clear, constant definitions of what behavior is unacceptable

• Practice accomplishing goals appropriate to their abilities

• Learn how to get along with others

• Better accept criticism

• No exaggerated praise nor aggressive criticism

• Feel like they’re contributing to family members

• Firm guidance

• Effective methods for resolving conflict

• Parental accessibility

• Emotional support

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6LWeBjFXaSg

Parenting Style Experts Advise Authoritative Parenting

o Parenting style- a general manner of relating to and disciplining their children. • Authoritarian parenting styles- low on emotional warmth

and nurturing but high on parental discretion and control• AKA positive parenting

• “I am in charge and set/enforce rules, no matter what”• More likely to spank• Too much parental discretion and control- associated with a child’s

decreased sense of personal effectiveness or mastery over a situation, even among children as young as four

• Permissive parenting- gives children little parental guidance. High on emotional guidance and nurturing• “spoiled” children

Spanking Spanking- hitting a child with an open hand without causing

physical injury Controversial 1/3 of fathers and 44% of moms Single mothers in a serious romantic relationship- more likely

to spank their children European American children- being spanked at a young age

leads to..o Later behavioral problemso Depressiono Suicideo Alcohol/drug abuseo Physical aggression against one’s parents in adolescence o Abusing one’s own childreno Intimate partner violence

Social ClassMiddle and Upper Middle

Working- class Low-income and Poverty-level

• Access to better resources

• Environment conducive to successfully raising and educating children

• Concerted cultivation- praise child, play with them “just for fun”, read with them, enforce rules about watching TV, etc.

• Influence child’s education (connections)

• HYPERparent

• Facilitation of natural growth parenting model- children’s abilities are allowed to develop naturally

• Look down on concerted cultivation method

• Obedience and conformity

• Discomfort, distrust, and constraint regarding school work and experiences

• Rented homes, apartments, etc.

• Stress- parents• Poorer nutrition• Emotional or

behavioral problems (8%)

• Homeless- less likely to focus on getting kids to school/ helping with homework. Problems with shelters, finding jobs, setting consistent rules, etc.

Racial/Ethnic Diversity and Parenting

African-American Native American Hispanic

• Race and social class play a role on the way they raise their children

• Mothers are more likely than European mothers to spank children

• Seen as appropriate by parent and child

• No long-term effects on child unlike with European children

• Have to find their own place in society (black middle class families)

• Permissive parenting style (“neglectful”)

• Individual choice for parents and children

• Before the arrival of Europeans…

• Nonverbal teaching• Light discipline • Still allow children

to work out their own problems

• Broader society is forcing them to change the way they parent (substance abuse and suicide rates)

• Authoritarian • Label may be seen

as Eurocentric • Hierarchical

parenting- warmth and demand for respect

• Collective value system instead of high individualism

• Teach children tradition and values

• Generational gap• Could lead to

different attitudes to speaking Spanish

Racial/Ethnic Diversity and Parenting

Multiracial Religious Minority

• Nearly 7 million Americans• 40% under the age of 18• Rates expected to increase• Tensions between family

members over cultural values and attitudes

• “you have to seek, to go out of your way to give them that African-American side”- White single mother

• Many biracial teens chose to embrace a Latina identity to deal with racial ambiguity

• More support for multiracial/ethnic children in schools and in homes

• Often associated with ethnicity (ex. Chinese Americans– Buddhists)

• Christian dominant culture • Public schools scheduling

doesn’t take into account many religious “holy days” for other religions

• Discrimination and ridicule• Parents hope they will keep

their religious affiliation, despite living in a majority culture that seldom understands and is sometimes threatening

Racist/Discriminatory Society

Adds stress to an already stressful parenting process

Family tries to shield/protect children Race socialization- developing children’s pride in

their cultural heritage while warning and preparing them about the possibility of encountering discrimination

Must value one’s heritage while being required to deny or “rise above” it to advance

Emotional estrangement

http://gpcolorism.wikispaces.com/A-+Testimonials

Grandparents http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9xQk2QKfSjg

Young Adult children Launching oneself into adulthood- especially

difficult Higher- SES parents- pay off student loans, buy

cars, etc. Many still live with parents Parents should set reasonable household

expectations Need support and love- even when they’re adults