Radius Magazine Issue 001

issue 001sept. 2012

free

��Tubing Icon Squares Off AgAinst�the�Fedsconfessions from behind the bar

Johnny Showcase and the Lefty Lucy Cabaret

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Publisher: �Pearson Publishing

editor-in-Chief: Justin Elson

Managing�editor: Jack Firneno

Art�director: Paul Rowlands

Photography: Wendy McCardle

Kelly Kurteson

Contributing�Writers: Justin Elson

Jack FirnenoCarla Merolla Odell

Adam PaulusKyle Bagenstose

Corinne PulsinelleScott Holloway

distribution�Manager: Tom Cormican

graphic�designer: Lyndsay Jurema

To advertise, contact us at 215.896.2767

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For all editorial content, contact us at

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i s s u e 0 0 1

Publisher: �Pearson Publishing

editor-in-Chief: Justin Elson

Managing�editor: Jack Firneno

Art�director: Paul Rowlands

Photography: Wendy McCardle

Kelly Kurteson

Contributing�Writers: Justin Elson

Jack FirnenoCarla Merolla Odell

Adam PaulusKyle Bagenstose

Corinne PulsinelleScott Holloway

distribution�Manager: Tom Cormican

graphic�designer: Lyndsay Jurema

To advertise, contact us at 215.896.2767

or via email at [email protected]

For all editorial content, contact us at

[email protected]

M u Si CJohnny Showcase and the Lefty Lucy Cabaret . . . . . . . . . . . . . 18

A RT iS TMorris Docktor . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 24

S P OT L i g H TA Dickensian Celebration . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 30

A CLOS E R LO O KA River Runs Through It . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 34

S E M A n T i C SConfessions From Behind the Bar . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 42

S P OT L i g H TPedal to the Medal . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 48

A CLOS E R LO O KDavid Ivory . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 52

BACK PAg EYou Can Get There From Here . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 62

See the artwork of Morris Docktor on page 24

man, 10 simple words never felt so good. This idea, change, reboot, whatever you might call it, has been rattling around in our collective heads and conversations for years . There have been many months, where we wanted to pull the trigger, and, well, we just didn’t . There’s a long list of whys, but, unless you find post-midnight email sessions entertaining, I’ll spare you the gory details .

But back to the matter at hand . While new beginnings are a time for celebration, they also afford a chance for reflection . Four years ago, when dtown first carved out a place in the local publishing scene, I was covering a story here, a story there . I lived in a small apartment with a doorway that separated the living room from the kitchen . If I stood to face it, my chin met the top of the frame, the whole of my face inches from drywall . I drove a car that had a faulty seal around the windshield, a transmission that yearned to shift at times and a muffler that announced my presence long before you saw me . And when it came to bills, if robbing Peter to pay Paul was a skill, I was a world champion .

While times have certainly changed—I have a much bigger place, a new car and a checking account that doesn’t need constant surveillance—I can draw parallels between those days and the growth of this publication . David Pearson, our publisher, has often said that, in the earliest days of dtown, “We had no idea what we were doing .” But we did have drive, passion and guile . And four years later, we’ve certainly learned how to put a magazine together, what works, what doesn’t, our strengths, our weaknesses and how to push each other’s buttons in just the right way . It’s been a real education .

In a sense, as we introduce Radius, we’re back at square one . Sure, we’re now armed with a wealth of experience, but we’re again looking at a blank slate . I had ideas of outlining a plan, some kind of blueprint you could follow, promises of some sort . But we don’t work that way . All I can assure you is that we’ll continue to seek and publish the best stories and the best writing we can muster . You’ll laugh, you’ll disagree, you might even be moved . But as long as you’re engaged, that’s the only promise I’m willing to make .

welcome again, and let’s see how this newest chapter unfolds.

Justin Elson Editor-in-Chief

e d . L e t t e r

Hello, and welcome to the first issue of Radius Magazine .

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14 | radius | issue 001

a r o u n d t o w n

We’re�changing�things�up.�Our Around Town section will now feature a select community in each issue. First up: new�hope.

Photos by Kelly Kurteson

Lynda Zahor and Olive stop for a rest during a stroll through town .

Lilah Dougherty enjoying a sunny afternoon along Main Street .

Using the New Hope –Lambertville Bridge as his instrument, Gabe Sashihara pounds out infectious rhythms .

15

Kate Grande and Laura Verde spending an afternoon exploring the riverside town .

Dawn Lorenzo, owner of the Olive-n-Grape, outside her flower-framed window .

Olivia and Glenn Goldsmith, owners of Suzie’s Hot Shoppe, pose outside of their store .

Kevin Liu, co- owner of 13 Vintage, among the many treasures inside his boutique .

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M u s i c

as a boy in cranston, r.i., david sweeny often played with a fisher price radio with a built-in blue microphone. “I spent hours listening to it, singing through the mic, sweating and performing for myself,” he recalls . And when he was seven years old, Sweeny sought some light revenge on a neighbor boy who would often pick on the would-be star . After another taunting, Sweeny grabbed a screwdriver and chased him . “I fake threw to the left, but then he cut right as I threw the screwdriver that way . It caught him in the temple . I ran home and hid under my bed for days,” he adds, with a laugh, a tinge of embarrassment still resonant in his voice: “You really can’t take back things you did when you were young .” And while the deed may be done, the little boy with the blue microphone still seeks salvation . When he transforms into Philadelphia’s own Johnny Showcase, he fronts a full-fledged funk band and performs his penance by giving a heartfelt

Johnny Showcase and the Lefty Lucy CabaretLove, Funk and the Errant Screwdriver

rendition of Screwdriver (I’m Sorry Michael), the lead track from his new ep, Mystic Ticket Part One: The Pump Fake . “It was great to get that off my chest and sort of get the audience on my side,” Sweeny says . He may be sorry, but it’s almost surprising that Showcase, his outrageous leisure-suit-clad, owl-medallion-and-dark-sunglasses-wearing alter ego, would feel the same way . “We’re both emotional, but I’m a little more kind,” Sweeny explains, encapsulating his dueling personalities . “I have a certain shyness to me where Johnny Showcase is much-more brash .” Sweeny’s stage persona is, essentially the grown-up version of the boy with the blue microphone . “He’s the opportunity to act like that little we all were at one point,” he says . “I call him my ‘soul clown . Oh, but the music this clown makes . Love is the Message, Johnny Showcase’s first release, hit the streets in 2011 and was produced by Henry Hirsch, whose resume includes working with Lenny Kravitz and

19

Madonna . The funk that oozes from the record seems almost too genuine in its amalgamation of Prince, Curtis Mayfield and James Brown . The rhythm section grooves like it’s 1974 . The guitar has just the right amount of wah-wah, and the backup singers hit every note, every mark . His latest offering, self-produced and the first installment of a trilogy, features new songs and remixes of older tunes all with a heavier reliance on keyboards and other electronic flourishes . And while the music sounds as authentic as ever, the lyrics reveal an absolute tour-de-farce . On the song Sensual, Parts 1 and 2, which recently released an accompanying video release, Showcase explains to the object of his affection that they must be sensual but not sexual, because he’s married . “Of course we can touch, but we can’t do all that much,” he assures . And on Shalaman, he sings of disappointment when famed director M . Night Shyamalan won’t give him a bit part in his latest film .

Onstage, the absurdity is turned up to 11 . The band performs as the Lefty Lucy Cabaret with a lineup that includes two female backup singers known collectively as the Truth and Rumi Kitchen, Showcase’s “spiritual advisor” who looks like a refugee from a BeeGees album cover . The two cavort around the stage as the Truth execute perfectly choreographed albeit outlandish dance moves as the band works overtime in the background to keep the music at a fever pitch . “I called it a cabaret because I wasn’t quite sure how else to describe it,” Sweeny admits . “If I label us comedy, then the music would take second chair . Sure, we dress ridiculously, and the characters are humorous . But it’s because we’re funny people . The music is actually the most important part of it all .” The Showcase character has his roots in the funk and jazz Sweeny was exposed to hanging around the famed Berklee College of Music in Boston while he was


unhappily studying communications at a nearby school . “I’d show up there [Berklee] around midnight, channeling Andy Kauffman, Steve Martin and a little bit of Prince,” he recalls . When Sweeny’s sister invited him to spend the summer in Philadelphia in 2000, he fell in love with the city and never returned to New England . He fleshed out Johnny Showcase while working as a server at World Café Live, when members of a cabaret act performing there asked if he had any characters or monologues he’d like to contribute . “Johnny Showcase became the opener; we’d find a way to interrupt the main act,” Sweeny says . “At the time, I wasn’t writing yet . We’d do Lionel Richie covers, songs like that .” But Showcase’s world quickly grew . And by the time Sweeny left World Café, Showcase and the Lefty Lucy Cabaret were already steadily performing around

the city . On some nights, the music shares the spotlight with more of a narrative-driven production . Auxiliary characters like Bonnie Showcase, the leader’s ex-wife, occasionally show up . At one show, he was “wed” to his new wife, Martha Graham Cracker . During Purr. Pull. Reign, the ensemble’s Prince tribute and a full-fledged theatrical effort, the band was served with a cease-and-desist order onstage when they couldn’t obtain the rights to the music . “It’s tough sometimes to balance the music, the comedy and the theater aspect,” Sweeny says . “Some performances are just a big show . But other nights it’s a dance party, where we just play the songs .” But whatever the setting or venue calls for, he knows when it’s working: “People are dancing, laughing and singing along . Those are the most joyful expressions the human body can make .”

M u s i c

To hear Johnny Showcase and the Left Lucy Cabaret, go online at

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And as more people laugh, dance and sing, Sweeny looks to bring his act to more far-flung locales . “The city [Philadelphia] is a great breeding ground for do-it-yourself music and art, but it’s kind of closed off,” he explains . “Something that’s famous in Philly tends to stay in Philly . My favorite way to play is when there are people who haven’t seen us before and don’t know if we’re serious or not . We can really just take over the audience that way . They’re silly songs, but, when they’re performed with conviction, they make people happy . I hear people tell me they can’t get them out of their heads . We’re lucky to be able to do that .” Not bad for a little kid with a blue microphone .

By Jack FirnenoPhotos Courtesy of nicholas Shellenberger and Bethany Brooks

“ They’re silly songs, but, when they’re performed with conviction, they make people happy.”

— David Sweeny

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d o y l e s t o w n g o l d e x c h a n g e . c o m

Never one to confine himself to a single medium,

Morris Docktor is also an accomplished sculptor.

The human form, prevalent in many artists’ work, takes on unique angles

in the hands of Morris Docktor.

The painting of a geisha

captures Morris Docktor’s ever-

evolving subject matter.

25

As the perpetual march of time threatens the preservation of a classical academy approach to art, Morris Docktor works to keep that spirit alive . Whether creating a mold for a bronze cast, customizing a sentimental portrait or collaborating with a client on a commercial building, he is continuously revisiting a deep-rooted love of art history . “You can only experience so much in your own lifetime,” he says . “The ability to draw on the experiences of other artists and trace history back for thousands of years is invaluable .” Docktor’s dedication to a perhaps waning method comes as a result of his time spent at the Pennsylvania Academy of Fine Arts . And while his education also allowed him to digest the works of far-more contemporary artists like Pablo Picasso and Marc Chagall—“When I truly paint for myself, I can get very abstract,” Docktor notes, reflecting on their influ-ence in his own work—it’s ultimately the works of old masters like Michelangelo

that direct his public work . “From the time I was a student, all of my heroes made their living as commissioned artists,” Docktor says . “I am grateful for every commission, because I can make art and make a living without depending on speculation . When I make art, I am like an actor interpreting a role . But, at the same time, I am also a composer and a playwright .” Unlike many working artists today, Docktor’s work is more likely found housed in museum or private collections than in gallery settings . Or in public spaces . With pieces ranging from a life-size bronze sculpture of Charles Roebling on Main Street in the New Jersey town named for him to large-scale murals and portrait paintings, Docktor’s creations, like his style and influences, are difficult to bind with neat labels or definitions . Docktor’s projects sometimes take on a massive scale, which he approaches with a variety of tools, including paint rollers, rags, sponges and whatever scaffolding

Morris DocktorOld Masters and the Modern World

By Corrine PulsinellePhotos by Wendy McCardle

and Courtesy of Morris Docktor

a r t i s t


a r t i s t

Morris Docktor’s eclectic and varied style sometimes produces larger-than-life works of art.


27

systems he can utilize to reach areas up to 35-feet high . In 2010, Docktor created a mural for Chops Too, a Philadelphia restaurant . In conglomeration with the existing decor, he took on the challenge of infusing the space with art-deco flavors . “Most of it [art deco] is based on geometry,” Doctor explains . “I worked with what was already there and gave it an edgy 21st-century feel . Even though I was the only one painting, I saw the project as collaboration with the history of the space; its new owner and his vision; and with my own interpretations .” And while Docktor is often working in three dimensions and on large stages, he can also be found within the more-traditional confines of a frame and canvas . When Docktor interprets a portrait, he blends both a historical understanding of the process, valuing the classical approach to portraiture, and how it has changed based on modern, hurried lives . Docktor opts to take his own photographs

“The ability to draw on the

experiences of other artists

and trace history back for

thousands of years

is invaluable.” — Morris Docktor

A commissioned Morris Docktor wall sculpture decorates

Wesley Enhanced Living, a senior care facility, in

Doylestown.

Photo by Wendy McCardle

of his pending and planned subjects . “I like to be able to control the lighting on the person I am painting,” he says . “At the end of the process, I have the subject sit in front of me, so that I can grab the last few moments of light and shadow before I am absolutely finished .” A classical portrait artist in a modern context, Docktor manipulates his images in a manner almost akin to an acrylic Photoshop . For instance, he’ll create a family portrait using multiple image sources, add backgrounds more appropriate to the personalities of the subjects or even bring new elements entirely to the image . And while Docktor’s brush strokes certainly reveal a trained artist at work, he believes that his true offering lies in his subjective ability: “I can really empathize with the mood and the personality within the portrait . There is a spirit in everything, even a still object . When I’m painting, I never know what stream of emotion will erupt .”

Go online at absolutearts.com/portfolios/s/sirom

to�see�more�of�Morris�docktor’s�work,�check�out�two�upcoming�group�exhibitions:

• Through Sept. 29, Docktor’s work will be featured at the Arts Council of Princeton, 102 Witherspoon St., Princeton, N.J.

• On Oct. 28, Docktor’s art will be shown at the Trenton City Museum’s Ellarslie Mansion in Cadwalader Park.

a r t i s t

MichenerArtMuseum.org138 South Pine Street • Doylestown, PA 18901 • 215-340-9800

TO STIR, INFORM AND INFLAME:

THE ART OF TONY AUTH

Now through October 21, 2012

Credit: Tony Auth, Special drawing for the exhibition, Collection of the artist

Sponsored byAnonymous

Additional support from

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Group tours avai lable


s p o t L i g h t

“it was the best of times; it was the worst of times.” With what I’m assuming was a swift flick of a quill feather, Charles Dickens penned arguably the most-iconic opening line in literary history . And let’s not forget about the last line either . Add to his resume the memorable characters and plotlines of classics such as Great Expectations, The Adventures of Oliver Twist, A Christmas Carol and David Copperfield, it’s no wonder the Victorian-era author is still revered to this day . All you have to do is look at the global celebration marking his 200th birthday . And it’s coming to Bucks County .

“Charles Dickens has been an inspiration in so many of our Caroler designs; it’s only fitting

we honor him this year with a full weekend dedicated to

his 200th birthday.”– Joyce Byers

A Dickensian Celebration

31

featured on tlc’s hit series, The Cake Boss, will also be unveiled to kick off the festival . The weekend also includes other performances guaranteed to put you in a celebratory mood . Each day kicks off at 9:00 a .m . with Mr. Dickens is Coming, a one-hour light-hearted and varied look at the life and character of Dickens, encompassing scenes from the great author’s work, diary and relationships . On Sept . 16, at both noon and 1 p .m ., A Victorian Christmas by the Magic Lanterns presents a type of film that was a forerunner to motion pictures . The program is projected on a full-sized screen by an image projector developed in the 17th century . Scrooge, Santa, animated comedy and carols will all be dramatized on the screen by a live showman and singer/pianist . Gerald Dickens returns for two shows on Saturday and Sunday, performing his rendition of Sikes and Nancy, the most notorious reading from Oliver Twist . Sunday will also feature Barbara Darlin, performing Unlacing the Victorian Woman, a living-history lecture that provides a personal and entertaining account about the private life of fashionable Victorian women . Darlin is a Victorian- era enthusiast, as well as a seamstress who creates all of the costumes worn in her production .

By Scott HollowayPhoto Courtesy of Byers’ Choice

On Sept . 14 through Sept . 16, Byers’ Choice, the world-renowned Chalfont-based figurine maker, is transforming their headquarters into an all-out Dickensian wonderland, making guests feel like they’ve taken a trip back to London in the 1800s . With touches of the author’s legacy spread throughout the workshop, Byers’ Choice will be offering factory tours and the chance to design your own Caroler . The workshop will be transformed into an English village complete with shops, entertainment and fortune-tellers . “Charles Dickens has been an inspiration in so many of our Caroler designs; it’s only fitting we honor him this year with a full weekend dedicated to his 200th birthday,” says Joyce Byers, founder, designer and mom of Byers’ Choice . All of the figurines from Charles Dickens’ classic, A Christmas Carol, will be available to purchase at the gift emporium throughout the weekend . And while Byers’ signature line is a certain draw, it’s hardly the only attraction worth checking out . Arriving just in time is a real-life full-sized connection to famous wordsmith: his great-great grandson, Gerald Dickens, a one-man performer of his ancestor’s famous works . “It is always such a joy to have Gerald [Dickens] here at our Byers’ Choice workshop, and this special anniversary makes his visit even more monumental,” Byers says . The festivities begin on Sept . 14 at 5:30 p .m . with a performance of Doctor Marigold . The inspiring story, written by Charles Dickens in 1866, tells the firsthand account of a traveling salesman who adopts a young deaf girl as his only friend and companion . After the show, there will be a reception in the Byers’ Choice Christmas Gallery with the guest of honor . Guests will enjoy an English tea complete with wine, cheese, scones and tea sandwiches . A special Dickens-themed birthday cake courtesy of the nationally known Carlo’s Bakery,

Thousands are expected to attend the celebration and space is

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byerschoice.com

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IS NOW


A River Runs Through It

a c L o s e r L o o k

“These steps?” I ask, admittedly a bit bewildered. “These right here,” says Ricky Crance, pointing, his words reflecting my disbelief and revealed by upturned palms and a nervous smirk. He brushes some dust and dirt aside. We sit. Silently. “My dad should be here any minute.” It’s a late-August afternoon and the Delaware River is still awash in sun, the heat radiating from the surface in seemingly perpetual waves . Dusk is approaching, and the looming shadows of familiar objects have already begun to cast perilous shadows across the expanse . Waiting for my pick-up, my mind conjures images of Saturday-morning Westerns, where a setting sun would announce the arrival of a stranger, the shade consuming all that stood in front of the figure ambling into town . His presence would inevitably later lead to guns drawn across a crowded poker table, the broken glass of drinks moved with a swift forearm littering the saloon floor at their feet . And as Greg

Crance, also known as the Famous River Hot-Dog Man and owner of Delaware River Tubing (drt), approaches from around a bend, it’s immediately evident that the metaphor has taken on real-life meaning as he squares off against the federal government—the same he once served as a Marine—in a showdown that could cost him his business . To describe Crance in a word is talkative . But not in an overbearing or overblown sense . It’s evident, even after only a few moments in a front-row seat aboard his boat, that he’s passionate, tenacious and in the fight of his life . On July 12, the United States Army Corps of Engineers (usace), a federal agency that holds jurisdiction over navigable waterways such as the Delaware, served Crance a cease-and-desist letter, outlining numerous violations associated with his tubing business and ordering that he comply or risk fines . But for Crance, not only were the sanctions extreme, they were unjustified . “I picked

35

A River Runs Through Ityou up at these steps, because I thought it was important that you see them,” he says, his boat pirouetting in the current of the river . “These are here simply for people to access the river safely . According to the Army Corps, these are an $11,000 a day infraction .”

stairway to havocThe launch point in question serves as the epicenter of Crance’s struggle . After receiving complaints that his use of the public boat ramp to drop off tubers at the river just south of Frenchtown was creating congestion issues, Crance agreed to use a river-access area owned by the New Jersey Department of Environmental Protection (njdep) and adjacent to a property he purchased . But, according to Crance, the prospect of eventual boat tours angered Patricia Kallesser, super-intendent of the Delaware and Raritan Canal State Park—an area next to the

six-mile stretch Crance’s tubers take down the river—and she reported the structural violations, including the wooden steps and sandbags in the river, to both the njdep and the usace . “She’s launched a personal vendetta against me,” Crance says . “The sandbags were here before we even started using the area . I think they’re an eyesore, and they contaminate the river if they’re washed out by a big storm . But the njdep encouraged us to use and maintain them, which we did . However, they’re wet, slippery and pose a danger to people trying to climb down the steep bank .” According to the usace, however, the steps are in direct violation of Section 10 of the Rivers and Harbors Act of 1899, an act which governs the construction of anything below the ordinary high-water mark—the point at which riverbank vegetation begins to grow—from shore-line to shoreline . Crance contends that assessment is misguided . “The usace governs the construction of permanent

Greg Crance’s floating hot-dog stand (l) and wooden steps (r) are

just two of the issues in his fight against the

U.S. Army Corps of Engineers.


structures like retaining walls, docks or say a permanent set of steps,” he says . The steps Crance’s tubers use rest against the riverbank and are secured by metal spikes that screw into the ground, similar to dog tie-outs used in backyards . “By their very nature, they’re not permanent . There have been no shovels used, concrete poured or anything of that nature . They’re also actually protecting the riverbank against possible environmental damage from people climbing up and down . They could be removed in five minutes, and they will come Sept . 10 .”

a sign(s) of things to comeThe staircase, including exit steps down-river that Crance says were found in tress after Hurricane Irene blew through the area in 2011, are just the beginning of the usace citations . As we careen further downstream, Crance continues to explain his situation over the roar of his boat’s engine and the constant hum of wind blowing over the bow . He breaks mid-sentence, never missing a beat, to pick up his radio and talk through the loudspeaker on board to his tubers in the water . Joking with them, he’s repeatedly met by smiles, waves and thumbs-up gestures . Dead ahead, a sign alerts river-goers that his famous floating hot-dog stand is approaching, just around the coming bend . Earlier this summer, Crance’s signs were placed along the river, whether near or on the bank or in the shallows . He describes them as “easels” constructed from small pieces of wood designed to be as unobtrusive as possible but still alerting tubers to the food, rest area, picnic tables and trash cans available on Adventure Island, a small piece of land that Crance owns . “I was cited for every sign,” he explains, pointing to the next one as we continue toward the famous river rest stop . “They [usace] claimed

it was ‘impeding the flow of the river .’ Anyone with two eyes can see that’s just ridiculous .” Taking the claim as an invitation to play hardball, Crance complied, suspending the signs or placing them on branches that extend over the water . Still, his detractors argue that not only the signs, but his presence on the river creates a delicate relationship, balancing recreation and tourism with the serene and natural splendor . “It was a little disheartening, seeing advertising out here among nature,” says Brian Niasset, a tuber ending his run near Crance’s exit but who traversed the river on his own tube . “It seemed so foreign at first . But it was also helpful on water I’m not familiar with . The chance to stop was a welcome benefit, too .” And it’s Crance’s almost overwhelming presence that adds fuel to both his arguments and his claims that the usace cease-and-desist letter is akin to a witch-hunt . “I’ve been working out here for 26 years . I’ve been tubing on this river since I was 11,” Crance says . “This is like my backyard . I was awarded the New Jersey Governor’s Tourism Award just last year . But now I’m the bad guy? Why?” According to Ed Voigt, chief of public affairs for the Philadelphia District usace, the answer is surprisingly simple . “Because of the size of our staff, the primary focus of our enforcement and regulatory branch is responding to citizen calls or complaints,” he says . It’s an answer that seems to add fuel to Crance’s fire . “This is why I’m being singled out . A state employee of New Jersey flat-out reported me to a federal agency,” Crance says . “Why? The njdep has already expressed, in the press, that they want to work with us . I don’t claim to be any kind of authority but having our boats out here does create a beneficial presence for everyone . If anyone has a vested interest in preserving this area,


it’s us . We go out of our way to guarantee we’re as low-impact as possible . There’s something more at play here .” And it’s not just a dose of a self-promoting Crance . “Anecdotally, I have heard that local police and rescue personnel have, on more than one occasion, turned to Mr . Crance’s business for assistance with emergencies on the river,” says Elaine Niemann, mayor of Kingwood Township, the municipality where drt operates . “The river is extremely busy during the summer, and I’m sure that the constant presence of drt’s boats and personnel on the water is helpful in preventing accidents and problems out there . Like all naturally beautiful areas, the more people who can come see and appreciate it the more support our natural areas will have from the public for their protection . I see drt and the Delaware River as being a win-win .”

hope floatsCrossing a small bit of rapids and whisking by a small swath of land where a photog-rapher is attempting to frame the perfect image, Crance is still pleading his case from his captain’s seat . He talks about the future of his business, his livelihood and the ramifications it could have on his family . He’s also quick to point out points of interest along the river: flood damage, historic facets, natural curiosities that only a man who has spent a lifetime on the water could relate . The engine quiets as we list to the right . Roughly 100 yards in front of us is Adventure Island and his locally renowned hot-dog stand . More than any other site, this is where Crance has made his bones . And if there was a front line in his match with the feds, this is it . According to their July report, the usace deemed Crance’s floating stand, a pontoon boat connected to two barges, both an outdoor seating restaurant and a permanently anchored, moored structure .

Crance says the classification is ridiculous . “The usace was out here at the hot-dog stand in 2005 and 2009 and said nothing . They determined we hadn’t built anything and it wasn’t their issue,” he explains, his usual excitement growing . “We haven’t changed anything . So what’s different? You tell me? To say it’s a structure, it’s just beyond me . Somehow we’re in violation of the Clean Water Act now but not then? We use a naval anchor, because we have to move it according to the changing level of the river . How anyone can say it’s permanent or moored, it’s frankly absurd . And again, it’s gone come September .” As we bob on very-slight waves, three of Crance’s employees, waist-deep in the river, are actually moving the stand right before our eyes . Voigt says that while he isn’t that versed on any usace visits to drt in prior years, there must have been some alterations since the prior inspections . And as a regulatory

Bucks County’s Source For Veterinary Care


agency, he stands behind the expertise of the inspector that deemed Crance’s stand a permanent structure without giving any specific details as to that determination . According to Crance, the hot-dog stand, while perhaps retaining the veil of a different operation, is indeed a mobile watercraft, no different than any other boat you might see on the river on any given day . “I compare it to the barges that operate much further south on the river,” Crance says . “They might sit in a yard for a while, but you don’t pull them from the water every night . I just don’t understand where they’ve come up with this and why .” In accordance with his operation, Crance points to other added benefits of his river rest area . “The sun can take it out of you, and it’s important to stay hydrated, fed and alert, especially under certain conditions on the water . Anyone can stop whether my customers, my competitors’ or private tubers,” he explains . “I don’t allow

food or alcohol on my trips, but I provide a place for people to stop, eat and, most importantly, get rid of their trash . We carry it off the island every night . With my 70,000 customers and however many else there are coming down the Delaware—that’s easily over 100,000 during the season—the river is far cleaner than it used to be .” Crance once also provided picnic tables in the water for hungry tubers to enjoy his trademark hot dogs and burgers . That is until mid-July . The usace deemed their placement yet another impediment to the flow of the river . While Crance didn’t agree, he removed the tables promptly . But with one cost . “The usace has created a public health hazard by making me get rid of the tables,” he says . “The bees have never been worse . It’s hard not to spill a soda without somewhere to put it safely . I asked the usace to produce the code that governed picnic tables, but, of course, there is none .”

between a rock and a hard placeIt’s almost nightfall . The woods on either side of the water have now come alive with a symphony of crickets, thousands of fireflies illuminating the darkening environs in visual syncopation . We’re headed upstream back to the offending steps . Crance sums up his predicament . “If you take it as a whole, I’m being asked to apply for permits that I’m not even required to have,” he says . “Everything in my business conforms to every code whether it’s a properly outfitted vessel or the hot-dog stand meeting the New Jersey Board of Health standards for the last 26 years . It’s not the process; it’s the need .” And he might be right . The Nationwide Permit Program allows for the use of “temporary buoys, markers, small floating docks and similar structures placed for


“It’s a real catch-22. They’ll [United

States Army Corps of Engineers] say they want to work

with me, but it’s clear, in my opinion, that they’re working

against me.” – Greg Crance

39

recreational use during specific events such as water-skiing competitions and boat races or seasonal use, provided that such structures are removed within 30 days after use .” There is no distinction within the statute that differentiates between private and commercial use . Crance points to this as justification for his fight: “It feels personal . I’m being asked for permits that aren’t required .” Voigt contends that Crance needs to initiate the permit process regardless of his personal stance or beliefs . “The best thing he can do is apply,” says Voigt . “We really can’t consider his arguments until the process begins . Within that process, we can evaluate the situation and determine what steps need to be taken to make sure they’re complying with regulatory policy .” But Crance sees it far differently . “They’re making it impossible,” he says . As part of the cease-and-desist order, the usace also included the njdep, both the Pennsylvania and United States Departments of Environmental Protection, all the local counties and municipalities involved among other governmental agencies . In total, they’re asking Crance to be thoroughly permitted by up to 15 governing bodies . “They’re asking me to apply for permits that I don’t need before I even apply for the usace permits,” Crance continues . “It’s a real catch-22 . They’ll say they want to work with me, but it’s clear, in my opinion, that they’re working against me .” Voigt says there’s nothing barring Crance from submitting his application . In fact, he encourages him to do so . “A significant number of our permit applications coordinate with other agencies,” he explains . “But we try to put out applicants through as few steps as possible and make it a seamless process . We have a job to enforce regulations, but we don’t have an inherent interest in preventing anyone from doing

what they want to . It’s the permit application process that helps determine the best course of action .” It’s perhaps this disconnect in views that has some taking strong sides . “Frankly, I think their [usace] action was extremely heavy-handed, and I’m unhappy to see a federal agency wasting our money needlessly,” Niemann says . “I can’t speak to whether drt is being singled out, but I can tell you that, from my perspective, there is no valid reason for the investigation, much less a cease-and-desist order . Kingwood Township takes great pride in the natural beauty with which our area has been blessed . We are fortunate to have a seasonal business in our municipality that supplies summer jobs, provides a degree of added safety for visitors on the river, brings tourism dollars and then packs up and leaves for nine months, so that you would never know they were there at all .” And whether you side with Crance or believe he might be in violation, it’s clear that this issue won’t be settled in this story, other media outlets, in the court of public opinion or, for that matter, anytime soon . “My biggest fear is that it will take years to negotiate all the red tape and bureaucracy,” Crance says . “And then there’s the $300,000 per day fines and the year in prison I’ve been threatened with . Yes, a year in prison for steps and picnic tables . It’s out of control . If you go up and down the river, you’ll see tons of what the usace are calling ‘structures,’ access points with steps and other things used by fishermen, private tubers, nature lovers, whomever . I know most of these people, and I know there are no permits involved . It’s selective prosecution, and it’s wrong . I can’t lay down . And not when it’s about my employees and my family .”

By Justin ElsonPhotos by Justin Elson and Courtesy of Yuuji and Mathew Crance

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s e M a n t i c s

43

Confessions from Behind the Bar

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firstly, let me assure you, i absolutely see you. You need a drink . I know . And I will get to you though probably slower than I would have had it not been for your wild gesticulations . Yes, you are waiving your hand, and I know you’ve been waiting . But so has everyone else here, and I value a customer’s patience . He needs a drink . She needs a drink . You need a drink . You know who really needs a drink? Me . And it’s not coming my way anytime soon . So have patience . I see you . I’ll get to you . Eventually . I’m a booze jockey, a shot monkey . I can’t think of any other good nicknames off the cuff . I actually Googled “pejorative terms for bartenders” but nothing came up . I always thought that I would write something like Ernest Hemingway’s A Clean, Well-Lighted Place . Instead, I work in a clean, well-lighted place . Actually, I prefer to keep the lights quite low . I do that for you though . I don’t know if anyone would directly correlate a combination of

bad lighting and liquor to future marriage, but I strongly assert that, in fact, there is a connection . And I’ve been doing this a long time—not writing but slinging beers . I guess you shouldn’t bite the hand that feeds you or, in this case, liquors you up . No one really wants to insult the bartender unless they’ve been flagged or should be flagged . But even though people act like they like me when I’m at work, sometimes I feel like a drug dealer or something similarly shady or sinister . Remember when you were in school and you saw your teacher somewhere totally out of context? I feel like that sometimes, when I run into you at, say, the grocery store . You know, the kind of place where people who interact and function with society regularly go . But I’m apparently on the down low and need to know, your whiskey-serving mistress . You don’t introduce me to your wife . Hell, you don’t even say hello . You crane your neck the other way and pretend


you’re checking the caloric intake of Rice Krispies or Fluffer Nutter . Whatever . I understand . I’m your bartender: a piece of the evening scenery, the background of your hookups, your one-night comedy acts, your mistakes, your triumphs, your true confessions, your lies, your peccadilloes . I’m that ugly guy in the background of all last night’s photographs . As it’s my seeming fate, here are a few other points to consider . A bartender’s weekend is Sunday and Monday . What friends I used to have don’t bother inviting me to their weekend get-togethers anymore, because, well, I’m not going make it . But that’s okay . It’s the nature of the business . It turns out that your friends do become the people at the bar . And while it might seem perhaps romantic—certainly not glamorous—the truth is being a bartender eventually will kill you . Not like coal mining or asbestos removal will but there’s a reason that every other industry comes to us to get a drink . It’s probably best not to actually work where alcohol is served . It’s not good for morale . I mean, initially, maybe, but then once you get drunk or your co-worker…people in my business tend to be a little drunkier than most . Like those who work in physics tend to have an interest in higher sciences, people who work in the booze biz have an interest in alcohol . And the interest typically isn’t nearly as academic as physics . Trust me . When I first started bartending—a long time ago on a planet not that far away— I worked with a smug, arrogant guy, who was about to graduate from law school . This made him pretty much better than everyone who wasn’t already a lawyer and definitely me . But that’s not the point . He was about the age I am now . But that’s not the point either . This is: the last day we worked together he told me, “You’ll grow to hate the inside of a bar someday,” which to a 21 year old is like telling

a 6 year old that he may come someday to hate Pixie Sticks and gummy worms . Ain’t gonna happen . But just like gummy worms are gross to me now, well, things have a way of coming to fruition . I was driving to meet a friend last week at a local tavern for libations and conversation . And, as I was halfway there, I thought a bar is the last place on Earth I want to be when I’m not working . So I just turned around, went home and read a book . It was 1,000 times better than my potential destination . As an addendum, Pixie Sticks still hold a certain personal allure . I should clarify . I can like a bar . I just can’t relax there . I feel like I need to clear the tables of glasses, or I’m busy critiquing the bartender . Or watching the customers . And then, of course, I’m obliged to over-tip . For instance, if you were really bad, like you ignored my existence until it came time to drop the check, you get 20 percent . That’s my minimum tip . Anyone else gets 30 percent and above . With friends and people you work with, it gets silly . Service-industry workers take care of other people in the business, because it’s like we’re fighting together in an ongoing crusade against the outside world . Or, at minimum, a mammoth struggle to be patient and tolerant with the general public on certain nights, because they don’t understand . They’ll never understand . People think my job would be fun, because you work around beer and Jägermeister . You stand around talking to people all night, so it’s just like hanging out . But it’s not, because I’m not your friend . And I’m sober . While I have your attention, a quick note about sobriety drunk people never seem to realize: people who are drinking act, look and smell like they have been drinking . It’s not like studying brain surgery . And it’s not a big deal either, at least not for me . Just saying a bartender knows, like a cop knows, if you’re wasted . The difference, of course, is that a cop

s e M a n t i c s

45

cares about your condition a lot more than I do . No one knows more about being drunk and getting drunk than a bartender . But it’s like with children, you love them even though they make you completely devoid of sanity . But you aren’t my children rather responsible, mature adults relaxing . So why would that comparison even cross my mind? But I digress . Just a few last things you should know . I don’t ever owe you a free drink . Ever . No one ever walks into the Gap and expects a free shirt because they bought five other shirts from the same Gap the day before . And when a bottle empties or a keg kicks halfway through the making of your drink, it doesn’t mean the drink is free . That’s a myth . Do you know how many bottles and kegs go empty on any given weekend? It would be totally awesome if that were the policy but no . And though I don’t base my niceness

toward you on whether or not you leave me big tips, if you consistently leave me a small tip or no tip at all, I will count it against my overall judgment of your moral character . And if for some reason I have flagged you, I’m not being a jerk . You are . If I had my druthers, I’d never ever flag anybody . But I do reserve the right . And trust me, as a bartender, that’s about the only right that I have other than to make snide, snarky comments occasionally behind your collective backs . I’ve already written too long . A good bartender should be like a wall fresco: nice to look at when you want to but can easily fade back into the scenery in a second . And then magically reappear with a refill of water before you even ask for it . Because I can hear pretty much everything you’re saying, and I know you need some more .

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As a weekend albeit rather novice cyclist, the thought of a “century”— that’s bike slang for a 100-mile ride—sends shivers down my calves. I’ve eclipsed 30 once, and I wasn’t certain if I’d be able to walk the next day . Along similar lines, crossing the threshold of 40 miles-per-hour on a bicycle seems like a recipe for potential fractured bones in a best-case scenario . I’ve gotten close to 35, and I held on for dear life, braking all the way . But for professional riders, where clipping in to their pedals is akin to a morning cup of coffee at the office, all of the above and more is just another day on the job . And later this month, all the super-human endurance, bone-rattling speed and unbridled excitement of professional cycling makes its way to our collective backyard . On Sept . 15 and 16, the Thompson Bucks County Classic, a professional bicycle race and cycling festival, will roll into town . Featuring two professional

Pedal to the MedalProfessional Cyclists Set to Dazzle Bucks County

races, a recreational ride for cycling enthusiasts and children’s races, the event has something for every one of all ages, interests and skill levels . “We’re extremely excited to have a race of international standing right here in the heart of Bucks County,” says Jack Thompson, president of the Thompson Organization, a local automotive dealer whose family of dealerships serves as the weekend’s primary sponsor . “It’s a great sense of pride to know that we had a major part in keeping this race in the area .” The weekend kicks off with the inaugural New-Hope-to-Doylestown Road Race, one of only three American events for men that holds both International Cycling Union and usa Cycling National Racing Calendar, both governing bodies of bicycle racing, sanctions on Sept . 15 . The 98-mile race begins at 10:30am in New Hope and makes its way to scenic Carversville for six grueling 13 .8-mile laps, including crossing two covered

49

And while the professionals are certain to wow crowds, the Bucks County Classic also includes rides for those who do it just for fun . Sunday also features the Doylestown Hospital’s Cyclosportif 100k, a recreational ride open to all ages and fitness levels but designed for serious cyclists, looking for both a challenge and the experience of a professional-racing atmosphere . The 62-mile course heads north from Doylestown and winds through Bucks County before finishing again at the same point . And don’t forget about the kids’ wheels . The always-popular children’s races return with medals and autographs waiting for the young competitors at the end of their long sprint to the professional finish line .

For more information on the Thompson Bucks County Classic, go online at buckscountyclassic.com.

By Scott Holloway

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A Man for All Sounds

david ivory

By�Kyle�BagenstosePhotos�by�Wendy�McCardle

53

it’s the first time i’m meeting david ivory at his Dylanava Studios in Gwynedd Valley, five miles northwest of Ambler, and his socks are covered in grass . Do I even have the right guy I’m thinking as I approach? Hopping out of a blue pick-up truck, his long, sandy-colored hair and sleeveless shirt give him the appearance of a landscaper rather than a Grammy-award winner whose resume includes producing and engineering albums for soulful artists like Patti LaBelle, the Roots and Erykah Badu . “Hey, sorry, I’m just getting back from a NARAS meeting in L .A .,” Ivory says, clearly noticing I haven’t recognized the acronym . “You know, the National Academy of the Recording Arts and Sciences . They give out the Grammys .” Seems I’ve found the right guy . Ivory leads us into his studio, a small converted garage just large enough for a recording booth and an L-shaped control room separated by a large glass window .

A Man for All Sounds

david ivory

On the walls hang signed records from the musicians he’s worked with, flanking a large framed poster of Jimi Hendrix lighting his guitar on fire . “Can I get you a bottle of water?” Ivory asks me, looking like a man who needs to quench his thirst after finishing some chores . But it’s here, behind the console accented with seemingly endless knobs and controls, where his true work is performed .

the neo-soul revivalFor the better part of the 1990s, Ivory worked not outside Philadelphia, but in the heart of the city, renting studio space at the legendary Sigma Sound . Known for a cadre of artists who released their creativity within its walls such as David Bowie, the O’Jays, the Jackson 5 and Madonna, more than 190 gold and platinum records have been produced at the corner of 12th and Race Streets . And while their reputation speaks for itself, Ivory also had a hand in crafting its legacy .

The Sunset Villians, flanking a seated

David Ivory, are one of many bands that

have benefitted from the producer’s

studio magic.


When artists like Badu and the Roots burst on to the music scene, their sound, borrowing from equal parts classic r&b and soul but with modern sensibilities and heartfelt lyricism, immediately struck a chord with eager audiences . Critics quickly dubbed the emerging genre neo-soul . And Ivory was as the man behind the boards, if not the music . “I helped create the sound that people talked about; it came out of my recording room,” he says . “But we didn’t really know what we were doing at the time . There were artists in different cities that were doing a similar kind of thing, but we really focused it, made it the sound for several records .” And while emerging music might seem like it’s cropping up virtually overnight, Ivory’s sound grew in collaboration between the men creating the music and the man capturing it . He recalls linking up with the Roots through a mutual attorney, who asked him to help the

emerging hip-hop ensemble finish their debut album, Organix . Ivory agreed, and quickly developed a repertoire with the band . He wound up working on their next four albums, including the certified-gold and critically acclaimed Things Fall Apart . The early-to-mid 1990s were interesting times at Sigma, when any number of artists whose careers would later take flight were still forging their sounds and brushing elbows with one another . “I had a very small room at Sigma, nine by 12 feet at most,” Ivory says . “One late night, there was a jam session . Ahmir [Thompson, better known as Roots’ drummer ?uestlove] was there; Scott Storch and James Poyser were playing; and Erykah [Badu] and the Jazzyfatnastees were singing . Rahzel was beat-boxing, and both Common and D’Angelo were there . It was just a crazy night, man . Just a big jam .”


David Ivory at work behind the boards

in his Dylanava Studios.

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a changing landscapeAt the end of the 1990s, Sigma Sound was sold and partially converted to an entertainment complex . Suddenly in need of a new studio, Ivory faced a professional and personal crossroads . He looked at a number of locations but settled on the three-acre Gwynedd Valley property to secure all of his passions in one place . “My kids were two, three and five at the time, and I didn’t want to be an absentee dad,” Ivory says . “I just happened across this location, and there’s a train nearby, so clients could come from the city .” The garage was already gutted . All Ivory had to do was erect walls and move his gear . He dubbed the studio Dylanava, a combination of Dylan, Lana, and Ava, the names of his three children . Nearby sits their home, a carriage house that he rents to tenants and a quaint cabin that doubles as an idea space with basic recording equipment for impromptu jam sessions . Changing locales has also changed Ivory’s outlook . He’s transitioned to recording more rock artists, where his career began . Growing up in Zieglerville, Pa ., Ivory learned to play guitar from his brother and was booking gigs at local hotels by the age of 14 . After graduating from Perkiomen Valley High School, Ivory found moderate success playing in a top-40 cover band . In order to try his hand at making original music—“That’s when it all went south,” he laughs—Ivory bought his own four-track recorder and quickly discovered a new passion . What started as recording friends snowballed into more projects, and the four-track grew into eight and then 16 . “I felt like I had a really good sense of it all,” recalls Ivory, reflecting on his early days in the business . “My years of lessons, practicing and playing really paid off for me in eventually growing into becoming a producer and engineer .”


a rock ‘n’ roll renaissanceSince his move in 2000, Ivory has reinvigorated his career by working with emerging rock acts. He recalls another jam session that included Silvertide guitarist Nick Perri; singer-songwriter Christina Perri, Nick’s sister who climbed the U.S. charts with her single Jar of Hearts in 2010; and Lizzie Hale of Atlantic Records’ Halestorm. “They were all right here in this studio, just jamming, before any of them really did anything big,” Ivory says. These days, one of his most promising acts is the Sunset Villains, a band hailing from Hazleton, Pa. who have played locally at Puck Live in Doylestown and have a single in rotation at radio stations in Wilkes-Barre and Harrisburg. Pianist/vocalist Donny Lombardo says Ivory’s strength as a producer is his inherent knowledge of how to approach each song and artist. “He’s very hands-on and always comes up with stuff that’s not super-typical,” he says. “He’ll find something that works great that you may have never heard before.” Asked if Ivory practices a hard-line or light-hearted method behind the board, Lombardo says it all depends on the situation. “When we were doing vocals for one song, he was pushing my brother [lead vocalist Christian Lombardo] really hard, but then he kept making jokes about him cuddling. I still don’t really know what he meant,” Lombardo says, laughing. “He was saying, ‘If you don’t nail this vocal right now, I’m going to come in there.’ But you know he means it in a constructive way.”

continued on page 58…



57

“I helped create the sound that people talked about; it came out of my

recording room.” — David Ivory

57

For more information, go online at: ivoryproductions.com

davidivorypresents.com

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still pushing boundariesAs a producer and engineer for over three decades, it’s safe to assume that Ivory has a vested interest in the current state of the music industry . But that doesn’t mean he likes what he sees . “ Right now . there’s a lot of mediocre music out there, because anybody can make it,” Ivory notes . “Of course, you might think I would say that because of what I do . I just feel that you always want your music to sound the best it can and not rush anything just for the sake of having it out . The great stuff always rises to the top .” In helping to record, cultivate and promote the acts he works with, Ivory hosts a monthly showcase at Puck Live, highlighting some of the brightest and best talent in the area . Providing both opportunities for bands to craft their live show and music lovers from across the region to discover new talent, David Ivory Presents recently inked a deal with Comcast to film the performances and make them available via their Xfinity On Demand service . The next performance and taping is scheduled for Sept . 21 . Through a combination of dedication, hard work and talent, Ivory has established himself as a trusted, creative dynamo in the studio . And whether it was his earliest four-track recordings for friends or Grammy nods and gold records, it’s the same spirit that both transforms records and puts grass on his socks . “There’s this mentality right now that all music should just be free,” Ivory says . “And that kind of sucks, because I make a living from it . I certainly feel I’ve earned that .”

For more information, go online at: ivoryproductions.com davidivorypresents.com

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On the last leg of our journey up the coast of Maine for our vacation, my husband and I stayed in a hotel south of Portland . During our complimentary breakfast, we were befriended by Billy, a Mainer who didn’t have to travel too far for this year’s national Corvair convention . An hour later, we were peeking into brightly colored coupes, sedans, station wagons and vans; weirdly shaped pick-ups; and a white RV that looked like the lovechild of Moby Dick and Herbie the Love Bug . “Nobody up hee-yah even cahed about the cah back in 1969,” Billy told us, until an article appeared in the paper that said General Motors was stopping its decade-long production that May . “I remem-bah being ten yee-yahs old at my grandpa’s cahd game . Doc-tah Bischofber-gah—he was Gahr-man—has his cahds fanned out and lookin’ o-vah the rim of his glasses, and he says, ‘If I’m gonna have a Cah-vair, I want a blue one and it has to be a stan-dahd shift .’ So Doc-tah Bischofbur-gah goes to the Chevy gah-rage in Augusta, but they didn’t have a blue one . They only had a green one, and he says, ‘But I don’t want a green one .’ He settled for a red one that he found in Paht-land, and Paul Shah-man in Wiss-cah-sset bought that green cah . But he wanted a red one .” According to Billy, the Corvair’s death knell began with Ralph Nader’s unfavorable consumer report and ended with the growing popularity of another Chevy, the Stingray . Still, Billy would follow Dr . B . and Paul Sherman a decade later when he and a friend stole

You Can Get There From Here

b a c k p a g e

into a junkyard and pushed out a powder-blue station wagon—the first of almost 30 Corvairs he’d come to collect—which is what Billy was standing alongside of on the black-top parking lot outside a New England banquet center when he told us this tale . “You spin a good yahn,” I said to Billy as we made our good-byes . But the story of Dr . Bischofberger and Paul Sherman intrigued me . Neither even cared about this car until it would no longer be easy to get . And then they took what they could get . Plus, they were able to create a life-long yearning in a young boy . This was a car that was born, came of age and passed away during a single, defining decade . Whether they are symbols of our youth, as it was for Billy, or a sign of the times, as it may have been for the two men, I’m thinking that classics owners know that not only can we indeed go home again, but the fastest route is by car .

By Carla Merolla Odell

“Nobody up hee-yah even cahed about the cah back

in 1969.”

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