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Perfectionism: The Occupational Hazard of Raising Gifted Kids

Jun 28, 2015



Is perfectionism holding you, your children or students back? Learn the different faces of perfectionism and the strategies you need to harness it. Find the accompanying handout here

  • 1. Perfection{ism}an occupational hazard of giftedness

2. Try as hard as we may forPERFECTIONthe net result of our labors is anamazing varietyof imperfectness. 3. We are surprised atour own versatility in being able toFAILin so many different ways.~ Samuel McChord Crothers 4. What are some of the differentfaces of perfectionism?{According to Adelson & Wilson} 5. Academic AchieverI must get 6. or the world will end. 7. IAggravated Accuracy Assessorsexactness and fixation on redos 8. Risk EvadersIf I cant do it perfectly,I wont eventry. 9. Controlling Image Managers 10. I could have it if I wanted it.{but Im pretending I dont want it} 11. ProcrastinatingPerfectionists 12. {Im putting offturning in mywork because azero for notturning it in isnot as bad asearning an 80} 13. Consequences ofPerfectionism 14. please note:Perfection{ism}isnt always a problem 15. it can behealthy{heres how to tell} 16. ask thesequestions 17. does the childreceivepleasure fromworking hard? 18. are the childsstandards based onpersonal desire{as opposed to outside pressure}? 19. is the childcapable ofrelaxing? 20. is the childsworkmastery{rather than grade} -oriented? 21. the correctanswer to allof thesequestions is{yes} 22. it can also be{un}healthy{heres how to tell} 23. ask yourselfthesequestions 24. are the childsfeelings abouthis/her effort basedon externalevaluations? 25. is the childincapable ofrelaxing or lettinggo? 26. is the childmotivated by lowself-esteem? 27. is the childunsatisfied witheven a high level ofeffort? 28. the desirable answerto these questions is{no} 29. there is a difference betweenperfection{ism}and the pursuit of excellence 30. Thanks {I think}.But now what? 31. here are some{big} ideasand specific techniques 32. {big} 33. Excellentis good enough 34. strategies 35. thisA- 36. A+is as okay as 37. encourage{excellence and mastery}as opposed to{perfection} 38. from 1 - 5assign each task a level 39. 1just make sure its done{little pillows optional} 40. do your absolute best5{something really importants at stake} 41. perfectioniststhink everything isa five 42. when really mosttasks are about athree. 43. {big} 44. What Ithaka has to teach us 45. is that its not about getting there 46. Its thejourney,and italways was. 47. strategies 48. kids need todevelop thesetraits 49. and they do that through readingand hearing about people whohave them 50. Try...Carol Dwecks MindsetAngela Duckworths GritMalcolm Gladwells Outliers 51. or biographies (try ones aboutErnest Shackelton or otherexplorers) 52. {big} 53. Dont beyour ownworstenemy. 54. strategies 55. although thefollowing quoteis true 56. The harderyou work,the harder itis tosurrender.{vince lombardi} 57. it is also important to learn{goal disengagement} 58. There willbe nocrossingthis bridgewhen youcome to it. 59. thats not quitting{its common sense} 60. and then you prepare tore-engage 61. adults need to teachkids how to avoidself-talk mistakes 62. they shouldnt hear "Imso stupid from usunless its what we wantthem to say 63. develop an"ask,dont tell" policy 64. no one likes beingtold how to feel 65. Model strategies for dealing with{stress}.This is NOTthe onlystrategy! 66. {big} 67. Just do it.{nike totally had this right} 68. strategies 69. theres no need to spend20 hours on oneassignment{doing it over and over and over} 70. dont turnschoolwork intothis kindof thing 71. becauseeven a teaparty getsold afterawhile 72. Warning:due dates arecloser than theyappearWork is never done.Its just due.Just DO it.paraphrased from Linda Kapfer 73. Be aWeebleand aBozo. 74. because itturns outthat a fat,roundbottom is areally good thing. 75. Weebles wobble,but they dont{fall down} 76. we want to teachkids to rock backup when theyget knocked down 77. Resilience ismadeof ordinarymagic. 78. This littlegirl tookher owncancerand usedit to helpothers. 79. {to thetune of$45million} 80. {big} 81. Sometimes,failure isa perfectlyacceptableoption. 82. strategies 83. If you get 100 right away,you will never grow.Dont try for 100 - try for growing. 84. embrace the Amish mistake 85. because no one is perfect 86. Adults must providesupport indealing with failure.{real or perceived} 87. Have afavorite mistakeboard in the house orclassroom to sharethings that went wrong. 88. Practice Predictionsworst,best,most likelyoutcomephoto credit vjeran2001 89. "Eeyore,"said Owl,"ChristopherRobin is giving aparty." 90. "Very interesting,"said Eeyore. "Isuppose they will besending me downthe odd bits whichgot trodden on.Kind and thoughtful.Not at all,dontmention it." 91. dont be Eeyore 92. because everyoneis NOT reallyagainst you 93. Just jump. 94. Dont stand inthe shallow endforever. 95. ask: is it my problem, or does itbelong to someone else?{because there is no sense stealing other peoples problems} 96. Ill let Voltaire havethe last word on this. 97. The perfect is the enemy of the good. 98. Presentation Created byLisa Van [email protected] [email protected]/[email protected]

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