CONFLICT MANAGEMENT CONFLICT MANAGEMENT Knowing your clients behavior and how to deal with them
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Transcript
CO
NF
LIC
T M
AN
AG
EM
EN
TC
ON
FL
ICT
MA
NA
GE
ME
NT
Kn
ow
ing
yo
ur
clie
nts
be
ha
vio
r a
nd
ho
w t
o
de
al w
ith
th
em
Wh
at is
a C
on
flic
t?
•A
dis
ag
ree
me
nt
•B
etw
ee
n p
art
ies (
mo
re th
en
on
e p
art
y)
•O
ne
pe
rso
n, o
r p
art
ies p
erc
eiv
es a
th
rea
t to
th
eir
–N
eeds,
Valu
es,
Inte
rests
, C
oncern
s
FA
CT
FA
CT
VIN
C
Va
lue
s, In
tere
sts
,
Ne
ed
s, C
on
ce
rns
Ca
n y
ou
se
e a
fa
ce
?
Ca
n y
ou
se
e a
fa
ce
?
Co
nflic
t R
esp
on
se
s
Beh
avio
ura
lW
hat I’m
doin
g?
Ph
ys
ica
lE
mo
tio
na
lP
hys
ica
lW
ha
t I se
nse
in
my b
od
y?
Co
gn
itiv
eW
ha
t I’m
th
inkin
g?
Em
oti
on
al
Wh
at I’m
fe
elin
g?
So
urc
es o
f C
on
flic
ts
•L
ack o
f in
form
atio
n, m
isu
nd
ers
tan
din
gs, d
iffe
ren
t in
terp
reta
tio
n o
f th
e s
am
e in
form
atio
n
•R
ole
in
co
mp
atib
ility
, sa
nd
wic
h p
ositio
ns, u
nd
efin
ed
ro
le
po
sitio
ns,
•W
ork
ing
co
nd
itio
ns a
re s
tre
ssfu
l, n
ot e
no
ug
h tim
e, h
igh
w
ork
loa
dw
ork
loa
d
•U
nre
so
lve
d c
on
flic
ts (
co
ld c
on
flic
ts i.e
. p
rio
r co
nflic
ts)
•P
ers
on
al d
iffe
ren
ce
s (
va
lue
s, n
ee
ds, g
oa
ls, sty
les)
•S
tru
ctu
re w
ith
in th
e o
rga
nis
atio
n (
mic
ro m
an
ag
em
en
t)
Wh
at is
YO
UR
co
nflic
t
ma
na
ge
me
nt sty
le?
•In
str
uc
tio
ns
: L
iste
d b
elo
w a
re 1
5 s
tate
me
nts
. E
ach
str
ate
gy p
rovid
es a
po
ssib
le s
tra
teg
y f
or
de
alin
g w
ith
a c
on
flic
t.
Giv
e e
ach
a n
um
eri
ca
l va
lue
(i.
e.,
1=
Alw
ays
, 2
=V
ery
oft
en
, 3
=S
om
eti
me
s,
4=
No
t ve
ry o
fte
n,
5=
Ra
rely
, if
eve
r.)
Do
n't
an
sw
er
as
yo
u t
hin
k y
ou
sh
ou
ld,
an
sw
er
as
yo
u a
ctu
all
y b
eh
ave
.
•_
__
_ a
. I
arg
ue
my c
as
e w
ith
pe
ers
, c
oll
ea
gu
es
an
d c
o-w
ork
ers
to
de
mo
ns
tra
te t
he
me
rits
of
the
po
sit
ion
I t
ak
e.
•_
__
_ b
. I
try t
o r
ea
ch
co
mp
rom
ise
s t
hro
ug
h n
eg
oti
ati
on
.•
__
__
b.
I tr
y t
o r
ea
ch
co
mp
rom
ise
s t
hro
ug
h n
eg
oti
ati
on
.
•_
__
_ c
. I
att
em
pt
to m
ee
t th
e e
xp
ec
tati
on
of
oth
ers
.
•_
__
_ d
. I
se
ek
to
in
ve
sti
ga
te i
ss
ue
s w
ith
oth
ers
in
ord
er
to f
ind
so
luti
on
s t
ha
t a
re m
utu
all
y a
cc
ep
tab
le.
•_
__
_ e
. I
am
fir
m i
n r
es
olv
e w
he
n it
co
me
s t
o d
efe
nd
ing
my s
ide
of
the
iss
ue
.
•_
__
_ f
. I
try t
o a
vo
id b
ein
g s
ing
led
ou
t, k
ee
pin
g c
on
flic
t w
ith
oth
ers
to
mys
elf
.
•_
__
_ g
. I
up
ho
ld m
y s
olu
tio
ns
to
pro
ble
ms
.
Wh
at is
YO
UR
co
nflic
t
ma
na
ge
me
nt sty
le?
•____ h
. I com
pro
mis
e in o
rder
to r
each s
olu
tions.
•____ i.
I tr
ade im
port
ant
info
rmation w
ith o
thers
so t
hat
pro
ble
ms
can b
e s
olv
ed t
ogeth
er.
•____ j.
I avoid
dis
cussin
g m
y d
iffe
rences w
ith o
thers
.
•____ k
. I
try t
o a
ccom
modate
the w
ishes o
f m
y p
eers
and
colle
agues.
colle
agues.
•____ l.
I seek t
o b
ring e
very
one's
concern
s o
ut
into
the o
pen in
ord
er
to r
esolv
e d
ispute
s in t
he b
est
possib
le w
ay.
•____ m
. I
put
forw
ard
mid
dle
s p
ositio
ns in e
ffort
s t
o b
reak
deadlo
cks.
•____ n
. I accept
the r
ecom
mendations o
f colle
agues,
peers
, and
cow
ork
ers
.
•____ o
. I avoid
hard
feelin
gs b
y k
eepin
g m
y d
isagre
em
ents
with
oth
ers
to m
yself.
Wh
at is
YO
UR
co
nflic
t
ma
na
ge
me
nt sty
le?
•S
co
rin
g:
Th
e 1
5 s
tate
me
nts
yo
u ju
st re
ad
are
lis
ted
be
low
un
de
r five
ca
teg
ori
es.
Ea
ch
ca
teg
ory
co
nta
ins t
he
le
tte
rs o
f th
ree
sta
tem
en
ts. R
eco
rd t
he
nu
mb
er
yo
u
pla
ce
d n
ext to
ea
ch
sta
tem
en
t. C
alc
ula
te
pla
ce
d n
ext to
ea
ch
sta
tem
en
t. C
alc
ula
te
the
to
tal u
nd
er
ea
ch
ca
teg
ory
.
Wh
at is
YO
UR
co
nflic
t
ma
na
ge
me
nt sty
le?
Sty
leTo
tal
Co
mp
eti
ng
/ F
orc
ing
Sh
ark
a.
e.
g.
Co
llab
ora
tin
g O
wl
d.
i.l.
Avo
idin
g T
urt
lef.
j.o
.
Acco
mm
od
ati
ng
ted
dy b
ear
c.
k.
n.
Co
mp
rom
isin
g f
ox
b.
h.
m.
Re
su
lts
: M
y d
om
ina
nt
sty
le i
s _
__
__
__
__
__
__
__
__
__
__
__
__
__
__
__
__
( Y
ou
r L
OW
ES
T s
co
re)
an
d m
y b
ac
k-u
p s
tyle
is
__
__
__
__
__
__
__
__
__
__
__
__
__
__
__
_ (
Yo
ur
se
co
nd
Lo
we
st
sc
ore
)
Wh
at is
YO
UR
co
nflic
t
ma
na
ge
me
nt sty
le?
•T
he
Co
mp
eti
ng
Sh
ark
•u
se a
fo
rcin
g o
r co
mp
eti
ng
co
nfl
ict
man
ag
em
en
t sty
le
•h
igh
ly g
oal-
ori
en
ted
•re
lati
on
sh
ips t
ake o
n a
lo
wer
pri
ori
ty
•u
se a
gg
ressiv
e b
eh
avio
ur
to r
eso
lve c
on
flic
ts
•au
tocra
tic, au
tho
rita
tive, an
d u
nco
op
era
tive;
thre
ate
nin
g a
nd
in
tim
idati
ng
•h
ave a
need
to
win
; cre
ati
ng
win
-lo
se s
itu
ati
on
s
•h
ave a
need
to
win
; cre
ati
ng
win
-lo
se s
itu
ati
on
s
•A
dvan
tag
e:
If t
he s
hark
's d
ecis
ion
is c
orr
ect,
a b
ett
er
decis
ion
wit
ho
ut
co
mp
rom
ise c
an
resu
lt
•D
isad
van
tag
e:
May b
reed
ho
sti
lity
an
d r
esen
tmen
t to
ward
th
e p
ers
on
usin
g it
•A
pp
rop
riate
tim
es t
o u
se a
Sh
ark
sty
le
–w
hen
co
nfl
ict
invo
lves p
ers
on
al d
iffe
ren
ces t
hat
are
dif
ficu
lt t
o c
han
ge
–w
hen
fo
ste
rin
g in
tim
ate
or
su
pp
ort
ive r
ela
tio
nsh
ips is n
ot
cri
tical
–w
hen
oth
ers
are
lik
ely
to
take a
dvan
tag
e o
f n
on
-co
mp
eti
tive b
eh
avio
ur
–w
hen
co
nfl
ict
reso
luti
on
is u
rgen
t; w
hen
decis
ion
is v
ital in
cri
sis
–w
hen
un
po
pu
lar
decis
ion
s n
eed
to
be im
ple
men
ted
Wh
at is
YO
UR
co
nflic
t
ma
na
ge
me
nt sty
le?
•T
he
Av
oid
ing
Tu
rtle
•
adopt an a
void
ing o
r w
ithdra
win
g c
onflic
t m
anagem
ent sty
le
•w
ould
rath
er
hid
e a
nd ignore
conflic
t th
an r
esolv
e it;
this
leads them
uncoopera
tive
and u
nassert
ive
•te
nd to g
ive u
p p
ers
onal g
oals
and d
ispla
y p
assiv
e b
ehavio
ur
cre
ating lo
se-lose
situations
•A
dvanta
ge: m
ay h
elp
to m
ain
tain
rela
tionship
s that w
ould
be h
urt
by c
onflic
t re
solu
tion
•D
isadvanta
ge: C
onflic
ts r
em
ain
unre
solv
ed, overu
se o
f th
e s
tyle
leads to o
thers
•
Dis
advanta
ge: C
onflic
ts r
em
ain
unre
solv
ed, overu
se o
f th
e s
tyle
leads to o
thers
w
alk
ing o
ver
them
•A
ppro
priate
tim
es to u
se a
Turt
le S
tyle
:
–w
hen the s
takes a
re n
ot hig
h o
r is
sue is
trivia
l
–w
hen c
onfr
onta
tion w
ill h
urt
a w
ork
ing r
ela
tionship
–w
hen there
is little c
hance o
f satisfy
ing y
our
wants
–w
hen d
isru
ption o
utw
eig
hs b
enefit of conflic
t re
solu
tion
–w
hen g
ath
ering in
form
ation is
more
im
port
ant th
an a
n im
media
te d
ecis
ion
–w
hen o
thers
can m
ore
eff
ectively
resolv
e the c
onflic
t
–w
hen tim
e c
onstr
ain
ts d
em
and a
dela
y
Wh
at is
YO
UR
co
nflic
t
ma
na
ge
me
nt sty
le?
•T
he
Ac
co
mm
od
ati
ng
Te
dd
y B
ea
r•
use
a s
mo
oth
ing
or
acco
mm
od
atin
g c
on
flic
t m
an
ag
em
en
t sty
le w
ith
em
ph
asis
on
hu
ma
n r
ela
tio
nsh
ips
•ig
no
re th
eir
ow
n g
oa
ls a
nd
re
so
lve
co
nflic
t b
y g
ivin
g in
to o
the
rs;
un
asse
rtiv
e a
nd
co
op
era
tive
cre
atin
g a
win
-lo
se
(b
ea
r is
lo
se
r) s
itu
atio
n
•A
dva
nta
ge
: A
cco
mm
od
atin
g m
ain
tain
s r
ela
tio
nsh
ips
•A
dva
nta
ge
: A
cco
mm
od
atin
g m
ain
tain
s r
ela
tio
nsh
ips
•D
isa
dva
nta
ge
: G
ivin
g in
ma
y n
ot
be
pro
du
ctive
, b
ea
r m
ay b
e t
ake
n
ad
va
nta
ge
of
•A
pp
rop
ria
te t
ime
s t
o u
se
a T
ed
dy B
ea
r S
tyle
–w
he
n m
ain
tain
ing
th
e r
ela
tio
nsh
ip o
utw
eig
hs o
the
r co
nsid
era
tio
ns
–w
he
n s
ug
ge
stio
ns/c
ha
ng
es a
re n
ot
imp
ort
an
t to
th
e a
cco
mm
od
ato
r
–w
he
n m
inim
izin
g lo
sse
s in
situ
atio
ns w
he
re o
utm
atc
he
d o
r lo
sin
g
–w
he
n t
ime
is lim
ite
d o
r w
he
n h
arm
on
y a
nd
sta
bili
ty a
re v
alu
ed
Wh
at is
YO
UR
co
nflic
t
ma
na
ge
me
nt sty
le?
•T
he
Co
mp
rom
isin
g F
ox
•u
se
a c
om
pro
mis
ing
co
nflic
t m
an
ag
em
en
t sty
le;
co
nce
rn is f
or
go
als
an
d
rela
tio
nsh
ips
•w
illin
g to
sa
cri
fice
so
me
of
the
ir g
oa
ls w
hile
pe
rsu
ad
ing
oth
ers
to
giv
e u
p
pa
rt o
f th
eir
s
•C
om
pro
mis
e is a
sse
rtiv
e a
nd
co
op
era
tive
-re
su
lt is e
ith
er
win
-lo
se
or
lose
-•
Co
mp
rom
ise
is a
sse
rtiv
e a
nd
co
op
era
tive
-re
su
lt is e
ith
er
win
-lo
se
or
lose
-
lose
•A
dva
nta
ge
: re
latio
nsh
ips a
re m
ain
tain
ed
an
d c
on
flic
ts a
re r
em
ove
d
•D
isa
dva
nta
ge
: co
mp
rom
ise
ma
y c
rea
te le
ss th
an
id
ea
l o
utc
om
e a
nd
ga
me
pla
yin
g c
an
re
su
lt
•A
pp
rop
ria
te t
ime
s t
o u
se
a F
ox S
tyle
–w
he
n im
po
rta
nt/
co
mp
lex issu
es le
ave
no
cle
ar
or
sim
ple
so
lutio
ns
–w
he
n a
ll co
nflic
tin
g p
eo
ple
are
eq
ua
l in
po
we
r a
nd
ha
ve
str
on
g
inte
rests
in
diffe
ren
t so
lutio
ns
–w
he
n t
he
ir a
re n
o t
ime
re
str
ain
ts
Wh
at is
YO
UR
co
nflic
t
ma
na
ge
me
nt sty
le?
•T
he
Co
lla
bo
rati
ng
Ow
l•
use
a c
olla
bo
ratin
g o
r p
rob
lem
co
nfr
on
tin
g c
on
flic
t m
an
ag
em
en
t sty
le
va
luin
g th
eir
go
als
an
d r
ela
tio
nsh
ips
•vie
w c
on
flic
ts a
s p
rob
lem
s t
o b
e s
olv
ed
fin
din
g s
olu
tio
ns a
gre
ea
ble
to
all
sid
es (
win
-win
)
•A
dva
nta
ge
: b
oth
sid
es g
et
wh
at
the
y w
an
t a
nd
ne
ga
tive
fe
elin
gs e
limin
ate
d
•A
dva
nta
ge
: b
oth
sid
es g
et
wh
at
the
y w
an
t a
nd
ne
ga
tive
fe
elin
gs e
limin
ate
d
•D
isa
dva
nta
ge
: ta
ke
s a
gre
at
de
al o
f tim
e a
nd
eff
ort
•A
pp
rop
ria
te t
ime
s t
o u
se
an
Ow
l S
tyle
–w
he
n m
ain
tain
ing
re
latio
nsh
ips is im
po
rta
nt
–w
he
n t
ime
is n
ot
a c
on
ce
rn
–w
he
n p
ee
r co
nflic
t is
in
vo
lve
d
–w
he
n t
ryin
g t
o g
ain
co
mm
itm
en
t th
rou
gh
co
nse
nsu
s b
uild
ing
–w
he
n le
arn
ing
an
d t
ryin
g t
o m
erg
e d
iffe
rin
g p
ers
pe
ctive
s
10
Tip
s to
Co
nflic
t M
an
ag
em
en
t
•M
ake
it
ea
sy to
ra
ise
issu
es
Make it
easy f
or
peo
ple
to
fin
d a
ro
ute
to
vo
icin
g t
heir
vie
ws. M
ake it
easy f
or
them
to
ap
pro
ach
th
e m
att
er,
wh
ile it
is s
till
a m
att
er
of
co
ncern
. D
on
't w
ait
fo
r it
to
be a
ball
of
fire
.
•A
sk y
ou
rse
lf w
he
the
r th
is p
art
icu
lar
co
nflic
t
is b
ad
C
on
flic
t can
be a
go
od
th
ing
. It
can
get
peo
ple
th
inkin
g, an
d e
nerg
ise t
hem
in
to
fin
din
g a
so
luti
on
. It
can
pre
ven
t sim
meri
ng
un
derc
urr
en
ts b
y b
rin
gin
g f
eeli
ng
s
fin
din
g a
so
luti
on
. It
can
pre
ven
t sim
meri
ng
un
derc
urr
en
ts b
y b
rin
gin
g f
eeli
ng
s
into
th
e o
pen
, w
here
th
ey c
an
be a
dd
ressed
. It
can
bri
ng
su
dd
en
reali
sati
on
s
ab
ou
t h
ow
th
ing
s c
ou
ld c
han
ge. H
an
dle
d w
ell
, it
's a
n e
nerg
iser
an
d s
tim
ula
nt.
•L
ab
el yo
ur
em
otio
ns
Co
nfl
ict
can
rap
idly
tu
rn in
to e
mo
tio
nal att
acks. T
his
oft
en
mean
s t
hat
an
ger
is
dir
ecte
d a
gain
st
a p
ers
on
, n
ot
the p
rob
lem
. T
hat
pers
on
th
en
reta
liate
s, an
d it
so
on
gets
ou
t o
f h
an
d. Y
ou
can
avo
id t
his
by t
hin
kin
g f
irst
ab
ou
t th
e e
mo
tio
n
yo
u'r
e f
eeli
ng
, in
ste
ad
of
ab
ou
t th
e p
ers
on
yo
u s
ee a
s r
esp
on
sib
le. D
eal w
ith
th
e
an
ger,
dis
ap
po
intm
en
t, f
ear,
etc
, b
efo
re y
ou
sta
rt t
hin
kin
g a
bo
ut
the p
eo
ple
in
vo
lved
.
10
Tip
s to
Co
nflic
t M
an
ag
em
en
t
•L
oo
k fo
r sig
ns t
ha
t th
e c
on
flic
t is
da
ma
gin
g
If c
lien
ts a
re m
akin
g u
np
leasan
t re
mark
s a
bo
ut
the issu
e, th
e r
ela
tio
nsh
ips n
eed
imp
rovin
g. It
mig
ht
be n
ecessary
to
call
in
med
iato
rs.
•D
on
't co
nfr
on
t
Co
nfr
on
tin
g c
lien
ts lit
era
lly, ie
, sta
nd
ing
in
fro
nt
of
them
, can
giv
e a
n a
gg
ressiv
e
imp
ressio
n. It
's b
ett
er
to s
it n
ext
to e
ach
oth
er,
at
an
an
gle
of
aro
un
d 4
5
deg
rees, so
yo
u c
an
see e
ach
oth
er,
bu
t are
no
t fr
on
t to
fro
nt.
An
oth
er
way is t
o
go
fo
r a w
alk
, so
yo
u a
re b
esid
e e
ach
oth
er,
an
d w
alk
ing
can
use u
p e
nerg
y t
hat
mig
ht
oth
erw
ise b
e d
irecte
d in
to a
gg
ressio
n.
•S
tick to
th
e issu
es
Ho
w lo
ng
can
yo
u a
rgu
e f
or
wit
ho
ut
gett
ing
to
th
e p
oin
t? If
it s
eem
s t
o b
e g
oin
g
on
fo
r a lo
ng
tim
e, ch
eck t
hat
yo
u a
re a
dd
ressin
g issu
es, n
ot
go
ing
ro
un
d in
cir
cle
s, o
r sco
rin
g p
oin
ts w
ith
irr
ele
van
cie
s. It
sh
ou
ld b
e a
dis
cu
ssio
n a
bo
ut
pro
ble
ms, n
ot
ab
ou
t p
eo
ple
.
10
Tip
s to
Co
nflic
t M
an
ag
em
en
t•
Be
sp
ecific
Make it
cle
ar
wh
at
yo
u a
ctu
all
y w
an
t. D
on
't k
eep
qu
iet
to a
vo
id e
mb
arr
assm
en
t,
or
go
on
th
e a
ttack, m
akin
g s
arc
asti
c r
em
ark
s t
hat
leave y
ou
r cli
en
t w
on
deri
ng
w
hat
yo
u a
ctu
all
y m
ean
. S
tate
wh
at
yo
u s
ee a
s t
he b
est
ou
tco
me, an
d lis
ten
as
well
.
•C
rea
te a
ple
asa
nt
en
vir
on
me
nt
Keep
it
form
al,
bu
t m
ake a
ro
om
avail
ab
le w
here
dis
pu
tan
ts c
an
sit
co
mfo
rtab
ly,
no
t su
rro
un
ded
by b
oxes o
r d
istr
acte
d b
y b
ackg
rou
nd
no
ise. S
erv
e
no
t su
rro
un
ded
by b
oxes o
r d
istr
acte
d b
y b
ackg
rou
nd
no
ise. S
erv
e
refr
esh
men
ts. L
et
the o
nly
dis
co
mfo
rt b
e d
eali
ng
wit
h t
he d
isp
ute
.
•G
et d
ecis
ion
s in
to e
ffe
ct q
uic
kly
O
nce a
so
luti
on
has b
een
ag
reed
, g
et
it im
ple
men
ted
. If
it
can
't h
ap
pen
im
med
iate
ly, d
raw
up
a s
ch
ed
ule
wh
ich
is r
ap
id, b
ut
feasib
le, an
d m
ake s
ure
it
hap
pen
s.
•P
rovid
e tra
inin
g in
ho
w t
o d
ea
l w
ith
co
nflic
t
in a
pro
du
ctive
wa
y
Co
nfl
ict
ind
ica
tors
•B
od
y la
ng
ua
ge
•D
isa
gre
em
en
ts
•W
ith
ho
ldin
g b
ad
ne
ws
•S
urp
rise
s
•In
cre
asin
g la
ck o
f re
sp
ect
•In
cre
asin
g la
ck o
f re
sp
ect
•O
pe
n d
isa
gre
em
en
t
•L
ack o
f ca
nd
or
on
tra
din
g m
att
ers
•L
ack o
f cle
ar
go
als
LIS
TE
N
Active
Lis
ten
ing
1.Get into groups of 4
2.One person in the group tells the rest
about a conflict case.
3.This person reports the case and asks
one question at the end. The others are
just actively listening and ask questions
to clarify their understanding.
Un
ive
rsity C
ou
nse
lling
Se
rvic
e
Cu
rtin
Un
ive
rsity o
f
Te
ch
nolo
gy
Co
nfl
ict
Reso
luti
on
to clarify their understanding.
4.The listeners then brainstorm
recommendations. Now the case
reporter is just listening.
To
Ma
na
ge
a C
on
flic
t W
ith
in
Yo
urs
elf
-"C
ore
Pro
ce
ss
"It
's o
ften in t
he try
ing t
hat w
e f
ind s
ola
ce,
not
in
gett
ing the b
est solu
tion.
The f
ollo
win
g s
teps w
ill
help
you in t
his
regard
.
1. N
am
e t
he c
onflic
t, o
r id
entify
the issue,
inclu
din
g
what you w
ant
that you a
ren't
gett
ing.
Consid
er:
what you w
ant
that you a
ren't
gett
ing.
Consid
er:
a. W
riting y
our
thoughts
dow
n t
o c
om
e t
o a
conclu
sio
n.
b. T
alk
to s
om
eone,
inclu
din
g a
skin
g t
hem
to h
elp
you s
um
marize t
he c
onflic
t in
5
sente
nces o
r le
ss.
To
Ma
na
ge
a C
on
flic
t W
ith
in
Yo
urs
elf
-"C
ore
Pro
ce
ss
"
2. G
et
pe
rsp
ective
by d
iscu
ssin
g th
e issu
e
with
yo
ur
frie
nd
or
by p
utt
ing
it d
ow
n in
wri
tin
g. C
on
sid
er:
a. H
ow
im
po
rta
nt
is t
his
issu
e?
b. D
oe
s t
he
issu
e s
ee
m w
ors
e b
eca
use
b
. D
oe
s t
he
issu
e s
ee
m w
ors
e b
eca
use
yo
u're
tir
ed
, a
ng
ry a
t so
me
thin
g e
lse
, e
tc.?
c. W
ha
t's y
ou
r ro
le in
th
is issu
e?
To
Ma
na
ge
a C
on
flic
t W
ith
in
Yo
urs
elf
-"C
ore
Pro
ce
ss
"
3. P
ick a
t le
ast
one t
hin
g y
ou c
an d
o a
bout
the
conflic
t.
a. Id
entify
at le
ast
thre
e c
ours
es o
f action.
b. F
or
each c
ours
e, w
rite
at le
ast
thre
e p
ros a
nd
cons.
cons.
c. S
ele
ct
an a
ction -
if t
here
is n
o c
lear
cours
e o
f
action, pic
k t
he a
ltern
ative t
hat w
ill n
ot hurt
, or
be least
hurt
ful, to y
ours
elf a
nd o
thers
.
d. B
riefly d
iscuss t
hat cours
e o
f action w
ith a
frie
nd.
To
Ma
na
ge
a C
on
flic
t W
ith
in
Yo
urs
elf
-"C
ore
Pro
ce
ss
"
•4
. T
he
n d
o s
om
eth
ing
.
a. W
ait a
t le
ast a
da
y b
efo
re y
ou
do
an
yth
ing
ab
ou
t th
e c
on
flic
t. T
his
giv
es
yo
u a
co
olin
g o
ff p
eri
od
.yo
u a
co
olin
g o
ff p
eri
od
.
b. T
he
n t
ake
an
actio
n.
c. H
ave
in
yo
ur
ow
n m
ind
, a
da
te w
he
n
yo
u w
ill a
ct a
ga
in if
yo
u s
ee
no
cle
ar
imp
rove
me
nt.
To
Ma
na
ge
a C
on
flic
t W
ith
An
oth
er
-"C
ore
Pro
ce
ss
"
1. K
no
w w
ha
t yo
u d
on
't lik
e a
bo
ut
yo
urs
elf,
ea
rly o
n in
yo
ur
ca
ree
r. W
e o
fte
n d
on
't lik
e
in o
the
rs w
ha
t w
e d
on
't w
an
t to
se
e in
ou
rse
lve
s.
a. W
rite
do
wn
5 t
raits th
at
rea
lly b
ug
yo
u
wh
en
se
e t
he
m in
oth
ers
.w
he
n s
ee
th
em
in
oth
ers
.
b. B
e a
wa
re t
ha
t th
ese
tra
its a
re y
ou
r "h
ot
bu
tto
ns".
To
Ma
na
ge
a C
on
flic
t W
ith
A
no
the
r -
"Co
re P
roc
es
s"
2.
Manage y
ours
elf. If
you a
nd/o
r th
e o
ther
pers
on
are
gett
ing h
eate
d u
p, th
en m
anage y
ours
elf t
o
sta
y c
alm
by
a. S
peakin
g t
o the p
ers
on a
s if th
e o
ther
pers
on is
not heate
d u
p -
this
can b
e v
ery
eff
ective!
eff
ective!
b. A
void
use o
f th
e w
ord
"you"
-th
is a
void
s
bla
min
g.
c. N
od y
our
head t
o a
ssure
them
you h
eard
them
.
d. M
ain
tain
eye c
onta
ct w
ith t
hem
.
To
Ma
na
ge
a C
on
flic
t W
ith
A
no
the
r -
"Co
re P
roc
es
s"
•3
. M
ove
th
e d
iscu
ssio
n t
o a
pri
va
te a
rea
, if
po
ssib
le.
•4
. G
ive
th
e o
the
r p
ers
on
tim
e t
o v
en
t.
a. D
on
't in
terr
up
t th
em
or
jud
ge
wh
at
the
y
a. D
on
't in
terr
up
t th
em
or
jud
ge
wh
at
the
y
are
sa
yin
g.
To
Ma
na
ge
a C
on
flic
t W
ith
A
no
the
r -
"Co
re P
roc
es
s"
•5
. V
eri
fy t
ha
t yo
u're
accu
rate
ly h
ea
rin
g
ea
ch
oth
er.
Wh
en
th
ey a
re d
on
e s
pe
akin
g
a. A
sk th
e o
the
r p
ers
on
to
le
t yo
u r
ep
hra
se
(un
inte
rru
pte
d)
wh
at
yo
u a
re h
ea
rin
g f
rom
the
m to
en
su
re y
ou
are
he
ari
ng
th
em
.th
em
to
en
su
re y
ou
are
he
ari
ng
th
em
.
b. T
o u
nd
ers
tan
d t
he
m m
ore
, a
sk o
pe
n-
en
de
d q
ue
stio
ns. A
vo
id "
wh
y"
qu
estio
ns -
tho
se
qu
estio
ns o
fte
n m
ake
pe
op
le f
ee
l
de
fen
siv
e.
•TH
AN
K Y
OU
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