Leadership: Harnessing the Power of Relationships€¦ · The harder you push, the harder the system pushes back 5. The cure can be worse than the disease: 6. Faster is slower: You

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Leadership: Harnessing the Power of

RelationshipsLaree Kiely, Ph.D.

We Will, Inc

www.wewillinc.com

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Leadership?

How did you get here?

Are leaders self-designated?

Are leaders born or are they developed?

When we find ourselves in times of trouble…

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The greatest danger in times of turbulence is not

the turbulence;it is to act with yesterday’s

logic.--Peter Drucker--

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The irony is that today the primary threats to

our survivalcome not just from

sudden events but from slow, gradual processes

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THE BALCONY VERSUS THE DANCE

LEADERSHIP:

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Life is more manageable

when thought of as a scavenger

hunt as opposed to a

surprise party.

--Jimmy Buffett

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EMERGENT-CIESAND

CO-CREATION

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EMERGENT-CIES

Emergent-cies have certain characteristics.

• We have never been in exactly this situation before

• We are not sure what the problem or issue really is

• We don't know what all of the possible solutions might be

• We have never worked with this exact configuration of people before

• We don't really know each other and how each person thinks or what they have experienced or what they think the rules are

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C0-CREATE DEFINITION:

• Beyond cooperation and collaboration

• Group sensemaking• How people interact with information• How we interact with each other

• The ability of groups of people to optimally structure reality

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12BUILDING THE PLANE WHILE

FLYING IT

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With These Three Questions Guiding Everything

Why do we exist?

For whom do we exist?

What are we solving for?

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THE MAGNETIC BAR OF “CULTURE”

“Culture eats strategy for breakfast!”--Peter Drucker

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BECOME A “WHY”

CULTURE

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TOOL: THE 5 LEVELS OF “WHY”

• Ask “why” 3 to 5 times to get to the core issue or double-click on one of their words.

• Use their words to gather more meaning.

• When they start to struggle with the answer, you are close to the core.

• Practice SILENCE – Let them think.

• If you go down the wrong path, back up and start down another.

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A learning organization

“In a learning organization leaders are DESIGNERS,

STEWARDS, and TEACHERS. They are responsible for

building organizations where people continually expand

their capabilities to understand complexity, clarify vision, and

improve shared mental models – that is, they are responsible

for LEARNING.”

~Peter Senge

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THINK SYSTEMICALLY

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“Systems thinking is a

discipline for seeing wholes

rather than static

snapshots, and for

understanding the subtle

interconnectedness that

gives living systems their

unique character.”

~Peter Senge, The Fifth Discipline

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“I don’t experience equilibrium as an always desirable state. And I don’t believe it is a desirable state for an organization. Quite the

contrary. I’ve observed the search for organizational equilibrium

as a sure path to institutional death, a road to zero trafficked by

fearful people.”~Margaret Wheatley

Leadership & the New Science

THE ROLE OF A LEADER IS TO INSTIGATE & LEAD CHANGE

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Tenets of Organizational Systems1. The easy way out usually leads back in

2. Behavior grows better before it grows worse

3. Today’s problems come from yesterday’s “solutions”

4. The harder you push, the harder the system pushes back

5. The cure can be worse than the disease:

6. Faster is slower: You may need to slow down to speed up

7. Cause and effect are not closely related in time and space

8. Small changes can produce big results—but the areas of highest leverage are often the least obvious

9. You can have your cake and eat it too—but not at once

10. Dividing an elephant in half does not produce two elephants

11. There is no blame--Peter Senge, The Fifth Discipline

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COMMON ORGANIZATIONAL LEARNING DISABILITIES

1. I am my position

2. The enemy is out there

3. The illusion of taking charge

4. The fixation on events

5. The myth of the management team

6. The parable of the boiled frog

7. The delusion of learning from experience

8. The hammer and the nail

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Sources: Peter Senge and Carl Rogers

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A breadth as well as a depth of skills and tools

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A breadth as well as a depth of skills and tools

• Knowing when we don’t know

• Embracing failure and creativity

• Using influence instead of formal power

• Placing relationships first

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Knowing when we don’t know

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JUDGER VS. LEARNER

Judger Reaction:

What’s wrong?

Who’s to blame?

How can I prove I am right?

How can I protect my turf?

How can I be in control?

What’s wrong with them?

Why bother?

Learner Reaction:

•What works?

•What am I responsible for?

•What are the facts?

•What is the big picture?

•What are my choices?

•What is useful about this?

•What do I want?

•What can I learn?

•What is the other person seeing, thinking, feeling, needing, wanting?

•What is possible?

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-- Adams; Clear Leadership, by Gervase Bushe, 2010.

Consider context:

Thoughts (including self talk),

feelings, circumstances.

It’s your choice!

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AVOIDING TYPE 3 ERRORS(SOLVING THE WRONG PROBLEM CORRECTLY)

• Never, ever trust a single definition or a single formulation of an important problem

• A single person or organization by itself cannot determine whether it is committing a type three error

• Never, ever trust only one solution to a problem

• Always remember what you are solving for and for whom

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Freedom within the limiters• Make the limiters clear

• Test them to make sure they are real

FREEDOM TO CHOOSE THE

HOW

Limiters

LimitersLimiters

Limiters

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Embracing failure and creativity

Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.

The important thing is to not stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing.

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Using influence instead of formal power

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1. Every object persists in its state of rest or uniform motion in a straight line unless it is compelled to change that state by forces impressed on it.

2. Force is equal to the change in momentum (mV) per change in time. For a constant mass, force equals mass times acceleration (F = ma)

3. For every action, there is an equal and opposite re-action

Sir Isaac Newton

NEWTON’S LAWS OF MOTION

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The key to influence

Listen as fiercely as you want to be

heard

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All Available Data

The Ladder of Inference-Argyris-

1. Our Observations

3. Our Conclusions

2. Our Interpretations

At each step, there is an opportunity for our storiesto diverge because:

We notice different things

Our conclusions reflect ourself interest

We are influenced by pastexperience

Answer:Move from being sure to being curious!

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The Listening L.A.W.S

Remember: As the noise in your head goes up, your ability to listen effectively goes down

Seek First to UnderstandSt Thomas Aquinas

L LIKE

A ADD

W WORRIED ABOUT

S SOLUTION

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Placing relationships first

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The Human Core

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Individuals and Relationships: The Third Entity

#1

#3

#2

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OUTWITTED

He drew a circle that SHUT me out;

Heretic, rebel, a thing to flout.

But the truth and I had the wit to win.

We drew a circle and took him in.

Edwin Markham

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“Leadership is a choice. It is not a rank. I know many people at the senior-most levels of organizations who are absolutely not leaders. They are authorities, and we do what they say because they have authority over us, but we would not follow them. And I know many people who are at the bottom of organizations who have no authority and they are absolutely leaders. And this is because they have chosen to look after the person to the left of them and they have chosen to look after the person to the right of them. This is what a leader is.”

-Simon Sinek

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LeaderFUL practice

4242

Source: Creating Leaderful Organizations, by Joseph Raelin, 2003

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Uncertainties =

Emergent-cies

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Consider, for example, how flocks of birds are able to demonstrate such amazing coordination and alignment, with thousands of independent bodies that move as one, reacting

together in nanoseconds to changes in geography, topography, wind currents, and potential predators.

Scientists have discovered that just three simple rules govern their interaction: maintain a minimum distance from your

neighbor; fly at the same speed as your neighbor; and always turn towards the center. All three rules are essential for

flocking. When they are in place, it is as if all birds collectively “see” what each bird sees and “respond” as each bird

responds.

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This could be a good time!

There is a river flowing now very fast.

It is so great and swift that there are those who will be afraid.

They will try to hold on to the shore.

They will feel they are being torn apart and will suffer greatly.

Know the river has its destination.

The elders say we must let go of the shore, push off into the middle of the river,

keep our eyes open,

and our heads above the water.

~ A Hopi Elder

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Thank You & H.I.T.A.K.I.T.