Judith gentry communication dilemmas

Judith Gentry April 2010 Communication dilemmas in online counselling

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On Line counsellingCommunication dilemmas and re thinking the way we work

A students view

Please activate sound on your computer/deviceand set to “slide show” before continuing.


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What happens in a f2f situation?

Most counsellors will learn at the start of their training about how to observeand work with verbal, non verbal communication and tone.

We study how apparent incongruence between verbal and non verbal can help us with our work.

As an example, if a client chooses to “chew” during a session

what could this be about?

to suppress thoughts and feelings… …or because they cannot find the words… …or because they are worried about fresh breath?


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Some other signals in f2f counselling

we may see signals such as feet off the ground

toes turning up at a time in the discussion

we may become aware of breathing patterns

and other physical attributes

all these things help us to understand what our client may be feeling, help us establish a therapeutic relationship.


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but in on line counselling…

• if our client is “present but not visible” • What signals can we use?


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When we cannot “see” our client how will we know when lightening strikes?

When we are not “in the room” with our clients how will we know what tune the client wants to dance to?

And how will we know what song the client wants to

sing to?

Judith Gentry April 2010 Communication dilemmas in online counselling 8

..or which way the wind is blowing for them..

Perhaps our client will “wear a mask” to

conceal what is real?


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Communication in on line counselling There are many “ e tools” that can be used to replicate non visual cuesBut many are not for beginners!And I speak from the experience of role play training on this course.We should learn from our clients, just as in f2fAnd develop a private language unique to each client/counsellor relationshipGiving it time to developAnd client led.


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Some examples of “e tools”

• Using trailers…(to indicate still talking)• Using italics when quoting back clients words• Changing colours and fonts to easily separate your words from your

clients• CAPITALS MEAN SOMEONE IS TALKING LOUDLY OR SHOUTING• ARE YOU LISTENING!• For the skilled practitioner, and the IT savvy client, the use of a whiteboard• Using clipart examples to include in an e mail to describe a feeling

(counsellor or client can do this)


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Some examples of “e skills” for synchronous live session

• Using hmm…(to indicate thinking)• Noting if client types fast or slow• Demonstrate listening by repeating the words back, or by typing “I’m

listening carefully”, using your own style. • Not being afraid to be overt e.g. “would you like to take a moment to think

about that” or using brackets (“I hope I don’t appear flippant, Julie”)• Being aware of the tempo of the session – “ the dance”.


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On line signals

• Symbols such as smileys ☺☻and emoticons can be useful but are easy to misinterpret to a novice (like me!) or just not understand at all!

• “be quiet” or “it’s a secret?” • “I feel ill” or I’m jealous?”

• Slightly unhappy or a bit happy?


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My action plan for using ‘e tools’

Self development

• To build my knowledge of online communication tools.

• To practice them in a safe environment before working with real clients ( CPD group; supervision; friends) in order to develop skills and confidence.

• To add new skills (web cam; white boards etc) and make them available to my clients

Client work• To ask permission to try things out with my client.• To be overt about asking my client how they experience ‘e tools’ (use tentative questions to explore

reactions)

• To listen to my client and respond, react and change as appropriate. • To encourage my client to use e tools to illustrate or explain his/her difficult feelings.

• To be client led in the use of on line tools.


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Thank you for reading this short presentation

• I’ve had a lot of fun researching for it and putting it together• Thank you to my peer group, for their contribution at group meetings.


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References

• http://www.ismho.org/casestudy/myths.html accessed 3rd march • Hall,C 2005. Learning from Experience. CPJ Journal May 2005. Available

from:http://www.repsych.ac.uk [ accessed 8th March 2010]• www.office.microsoft.com/clipart accessed February 24 2010• Jones.G and Stokes.A; 2009. Online counselling a handbook for practitioners. Basingstoke:

Palgrave Macmillan.

http://www.ismho.org/casestudy/myths.html

http://www.office.microsoft.com/clipart

Judith gentry communication dilemmas

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