Healthy mother child relationship

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

HEALTHY MOTHER-CHILD RELATIONSHIP

Dr. Menan Abd El Maksoud RabieMBBch, Msc, MD, Arab BoardPsychiatry ConsultantAssistant Prof of Psychiatry, Ain Shams UniversityMember of the Egyptian Psychiatric Association (EPA)International Member of the American Psychiatric

Association (APA)Associate Member of the International Federation of

Psychiatric Epidemiology (IFPE)

WHAT ARE WE TALKING ABOUT? Why is it important? When should we start? PLAN AND PRACTICE… Preparing the father. Normal Development. High EE Good parenting. Tips for healthy relationship with your child.

WHY IS IT IMPORTANT? Your baby's first year is full

of changes. You can do a lot to encourage your baby's communication skills.

All you need to do is smile, talk, sing, and read to your baby.

Why focus on communication? Because early speech and

language skills are associated with success in developing reading, writing, and interpersonal skills, both later in childhood and later in life.

WHEN SHOULD WE START? Whenever you are pregnant or thinking about

having children. There is much to consider before deciding to

start a family.

PLAN AND PRACTICE…

PLAN & PRACTICE Choosing a name. Preparing the father. Calculating the budget. Working or staying home? Who will be the extra care giver? Which doctor? Which nursery? Which school?

Having Another Baby? ETC…..

PLAN & PRACTICE Naming the baby a

beautiful name that you like can also be some way to create a bond with your baby.

PLAN & PRACTICE You can also be

bonding with your baby by being there and may be take a nap together in the bed or the couch.

PLAN & PRACTICE You and your baby will live a life together and

you as parents are responsible to make sure that your children grow up in a secure and stable environment.

Sometimes the bond just happens automatically and sometimes you need to work on it a little.

PREPARING THE FATHER Baby bonding is easiest

done one to one with each parent. Give your spouse a rest from everything and take care of the baby.

Be also sure to spend time together as a family and to bond together as one. This will make strong bonds between the baby and both parents and reinforce the bonds between the parents.

PREPARING THE FATHER

The most natural way to create a bond between a mother and a baby is through breast-feeding. This might feel make the other partner feel excluded, but there are other ways to bond.

You can attend the breastfeeding. Or you can cuddle with it right afterwards and relieve the mother for a while. Also, you can proudly carry your baby around.

PREPARING THE FATHER When close to your

body, the baby will start to recognize your smell and voice (always talk softly to the baby to create stronger bonds) and feel more comfortable.

BABY DEVELOPMENT STAGES Baby development is

predictable, which makes it easy for parents to see if their baby is in the normal range or not.

However, each baby is also unique. He may be a slow or a fast learner and not follow the typical development stage either.

BRAIN DEVELOPMENT OF YOUR BABY Did you know that a baby's brain develops

from the moment he is inside the uterus? When your baby is 16 weeks old, he reacts with the whole body for emotional impressions.

After about 20 weeks, he is responding to sound.

And all the time, his brain is developing.

BRAIN DEVELOPMENT OF YOUR BABY When the baby is about

2 months old he can clearly interact with an adult.

For a short period of time, the baby’s ability to mimic stops. Between 1 and 7 months the baby will not make any faces. His muscles and brain develop, and need time to coordinate and function together.

BRAIN DEVELOPMENT OF YOUR BABY At 3 months of age the

baby’s brain activity increases. If you smile at the baby, he will automatically start to smile. When you stop, the baby will stop.

At 5 months, the brain development progresses so much that the baby makes first speak-like sounds.

The real language is first developed when the baby is 18 months old.

BRAIN DEVELOPMENT OF YOUR BABY At 7-8 months of age so the baby brain

development has evolved so much that the baby reacts to people he has never met. From being open to anyone, the baby now becomes shy or screams of joy when seeing someone he recognizes.

Patience and understanding for your children is important to develop their feelings.

Play also stimulates the child's brain. Try to play music, this also strengthens the baby brain development.

EMOTIONAL DEVELOPMENT OF YOUR BABY A baby’s emotional

development is a lifelong process and it starts the moment that the baby is born.

However, you will not be able to tell its emotional development until the baby is somewhat older.

Then, it will probably hit you hard, as you need to deal with all kind of emotions that come up.

EMOTIONAL DEVELOPMENT OF YOUR BABY They feel afraid of being

left alone. That feeling usually comes when the baby is about 9 months until 2,5 years old. Try not to leave children unattended for too long during the period.

Babies below 2,5 years have no concept of time and a few hours can feel like an eternity for them. It is therefore important to greet the child when you get back.

EMOTIONAL DEVELOPMENT OF YOUR BABY He will start feeling

afraid, happy, grumpy, and playful, and in the beginning, he will not be able to handle all these emotions.

As time goes by, the baby will realize that he does not need to show all emotions and that some of the feelings perceived, can be mastered.

EMOTIONAL DEVELOPMENT OF YOUR BABY You need to encourage

your baby’s emotional development. Your baby needs to learn what is appropriate and what is not. Try to explain, calmly; why you have to leave or ask why he is crying.

Defining emotions is, just as with adults, and important process of the developmental stages.

EMOTIONAL DEVELOPMENT OF YOUR BABY Also, be sure that

you keep your own emotions out of the play. Show happiness, anger or anything you might feel, but when dealing with the baby you need to stay calm and comforting.

SOCIAL DEVELOPMENT OF YOUR BABY Social development

is all about learning how to communicate with others, being able to show what the baby wants and does not want and getting his own ideas.

SOCIAL DEVELOPMENT OF YOUR BABY The social development

of your baby will become obvious by the age of 2 years, starting to play and have fun with other children. Your baby will be curious of other creatures of same size and age.

Keep an eye on them, as babies have no restrictions when it comes to doing harmful things.

SOCIAL DEVELOPMENT OF YOUR BABY Also, the baby does not

understand the difference between yours and mine. If you give a toy, he will think that it is his, and when you want to take it back your baby start to scream or cry and refuse to let go of the toy.

This kind of social development is the cause for most conflicts on the playground.

The baby will gradually learn the difference and at age of 3 years old he can share things with others.

SOCIAL DEVELOPMENT OF YOUR BABY Another part of social

development is to imitate others. When you feed the baby and you open your mouth, the baby will automatically open its mouth too.

The same goes for any other movements or behavior. Therefore, it is true that your child will imitate what you do – even bad behavior.

HIGH EXPRESSED EMOTIONS (HIGH EE) Expressed emotion (EE), is a measure of

the family environment that is based on how the relatives of a psychiatric patient spontaneously talk about the patient.

HIGH EXPRESSED EMOTIONS (HIGH EE) Family members with high

expressed emotion are hostile, very critical and not tolerant of the patient.

They feel like they are helping by having this attitude.

They not only criticize behaviors relating to the disorder but also other behaviors that are unique to the personality of the patient.

HIGH EXPRESSED EMOTIONS (HIGH EE) Hostility is a negative

attitude directed at the patient because the family feels that the disorder is controllable and the patient is choosing not to get better.

The family believes that the cause of many of the family’s problems is the patient’s mental illness.

HIGH EXPRESSED EMOTIONS (HIGH EE) Emotional Over-

involvement Over-protectiveness or

self-sacrifice, excessive use of praise or blame.

Family members tend to be more intrusive.

Patients may feel very anxious and frustrated.

On the whole, families with high EE appear to be poorer communicators with their ill relative as they might talk more and listen less effectively.

HIGH EXPRESSED EMOTIONS (HIGH EE) Critical Comments Critical attitudes are

combinations of hostile and emotional over-involvement. It shows an openness that the disorder is not entirely in the patients control but there is still negative criticism. Critical parents influence the patient’s siblings to be the same way.

CHILDREN LEARN WHAT THEY LIVEliving with criticism, they learn to condemnliving with hostility, they learn to fightliving with ridicule, they learn to be shyliving with shame, they learn to feel guiltyliving with tolerance, they learn to be patientliving with encouragement, they learn to be

confidentliving with praise, they learn to appreciateliving with fairness, they learn justiceliving with security, they learn to have faithliving with approval, they learn to like themselves

BABY DEVELOPMENT DELAYS It´s not easy to say

why some babies develop slower than other babies. It could be a delay in the physical development. This might last for a few weeks after birth, or it might be permanent.

BABY DEVELOPMENT DELAYS There are things you

can do to help your child develop speech. You can use picture books, or sing songs with your child.

If your child´s speech hasn´t developed at a normal pace. You can go to a speech therapist.

BABY DEVELOPMENT DELAYS As a parent of a child with

any kind of baby development delays, it is common to feel guilty, since there is a possibility your child might not be able to have the same kind of upbringing as a fully healthy child.

When born with a disability, there is a risk that he might have a difficulty to make friends, as well as a risk that he might be bullied because of their problem.

BABY DEVELOPMENT DELAYS It is important to

remember that your baby should be treated the same as any other child at all times.

It is not uncommon that parents of children with baby development delays feel that they are not allowed to be sad.

ENCOURAGE YOUR BABY'S DEVELOPMENT A little baby needs a firm attachment to

their parents to develop. A newborn wants and needs all the attention it can get both in the day and during the night.

Necessary attention when you change, feed or change the diapers shows your baby love and closeness. This encourages baby development.

ENCOURAGE YOUR BABY'S DEVELOPMENT By playing and

socializing with the baby he will develop at a faster pace.

As a parent you can encourage your child when he does something he has not done before. This may be a little thing, like grasping for a piece of paper or like sitting up by itself for the first time.

ENCOURAGE YOUR BABY'S DEVELOPMENT Baby development

has to take its time. You can speed it up somewhat, but the baby’s muscles and brain will only develop at a certain pace.

Encouragement is needed all the time, in order for the baby to develop naturally but also steadily.

ENCOURAGE YOUR BABY'S DEVELOPMENT You can stimulate your

baby's development by reading books and playing with toys.

Using different voices, really get into character that is what makes your baby develop and adapt. This kind of encouraging baby development is fun for both you and your baby.

GOOD PARENTING Does your child

have behavior problems? Your relationship with your child likely needs some attention.

GOOD PARENTING After all, what is the goal when you're

dealing with children?

To show who's boss? To instill fear?

Or to help the child develop into a decent, self-confident human being?

GOOD PARENTING "Many people use the

same tactics their own parents used, and a lot of times that meant using really harsh discipline.

Children should never be hit - not even a slap on a toddler's bottom. If your young child is headed into danger, into traffic, you can grab him and hold him.

GOOD PARENTING Good parenting helps foster

empathy, honesty, self-reliance, self-control, kindness, cooperation, and cheerfulness.

It also promotes intellectual curiosity, motivation, and desire to achieve.

It helps protect children from anxiety, depression, eating disorders, anti-social behavior, and drug abuse.

GOOD PARENTING If you don't have a good

relationship with your child, they're not going to listen to you.

Think how you relate to other adults. If you have a good relationship with them, you tend to trust them more, listen to their opinions, and agree with them.

If it's someone we just don't like, we will ignore their opinion.

GOOD PARENTING You cannot be too loving.  It is simply not possible to spoil a child with

love. What we often think of as the product of

spoiling a child is never the result of showing a child too much love. It is usually the consequence of giving a child things in place of love …

…things like lowered expectations, or material possessions.

GOOD PARENTING Being an involved parent

takes time and is hard work, and it often means rethinking and rearranging your priorities. It frequently means sacrificing what you want to do for what your child needs to do. Be there mentally as well as physically.

NB: Being involved does not mean doing a child's homework - or reading it over or correcting it.

GOOD PARENTING The same drive for

independence that is making your 3-year-old say 'no' all the time is what's motivating him to be toilet trained.

The same intellectual growth spurt that is making your 13-year-old curious and inquisitive in the classroom also is making her argumentative at the dinner table.

GOOD PARENTING Establish and set rules.  If you don't manage your

child's behavior when he is young, he will have a hard time learning how to manage himself when he is older and you aren't around.

Don’t micromanage your child. Once they're in middle school, you need let the child do their own homework, make their own choices, and not intervene.

GOOD PARENTING Setting limits helps your child develop a

sense of self-control. Encouraging independence helps her develop a sense of self-direction. To be successful in life, she's going to need both.

Children push for independence because it is part of human nature to want to feel in control rather than to feel controlled by someone else."

GOOD PARENTING If your rules vary from day

to day in an unpredictable fashion or if you enforce them only intermittently, your child's misbehavior is your fault, not his.

Your most important disciplinary tool is consistency.

Identify your non-negotiables. The more your authority is based on wisdom and not on power, the less your child will challenge it.“

When parents aren't consistent, children get confused.

GOOD PARENTING

Good parents have expectations they want their child to live up to. Generally, parents overexplain to young children and underexplain to adolescents.

What is obvious to you may not be evident to your child. He doesn't have the priorities, judgment or experience that you have.

GOOD PARENTING Treat your child with respect.  Best way to get respectful treatment from your

child Give your child the same courtesies you would

give to anyone else. Speak to him politely. Respect his opinion. Pay attention when he is speaking to you. Treat him kindly. Try to please him when you can. Children treat others the way their parents treat

them. Your relationship with your child is the foundation for her relationships with others.

10 TIPS FOR A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP1- Say I Love You2- Teach Your Values3- Establish A Special Code Word4- Develop And Maintain Bedtime Rituals5- Let Your Children Help You6- Play With Your Children7- Eat Meals As A Family8- Seek Out One-On-One Opportunities9- Respect Their Choices10- Make Them A Priority In Your Life

SPENDING TIME WITH CHILDREN … IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN … SPENDING MONEY ON CHILDREN…

They grow up so fast, and every day is special. Take advantage of your precious time together while you have it!