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Fundamentals of a happy marriage

Nov 17, 2014

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How to achieve happiness in marital relationship.

  • 1. 12Fundamentals Of Must Dos of Every Relationship 12 Fs

2. Marriage in Islam ..they have taken from you a solemn covenant.4:21 In Islam, marriage is a social and legal contractbetween a man and a woman to dwell in peace andlove. Established according to Islamic guidelines Intended to strengthen and extend familyrelationships. It begins with a search for an appropriate partner,and ends with an agreement of marriage, thecontract, and the wedding party. It is also a form of Ibadah(Worship) because it isobeying Allah(SWT) and his messenger(SAW) To spend ones wealth upon ones family with theintention of reward is also charitable 3. Objectives of Islamic Marriage And among His signs is this, that He created foryou mates from among yourselves, that you maydwell in peace and tranquility with them, and Hehas put love and mercy between your (hearts):Verily in that are signs for those who reflect"(Quran 30:21). 4. 12 Fundamentals of a Happy Marriage 2-Be1- Be3-Be 4-Be Willing toForgivingFlexibleFaithfulforget6-Be7-Be8-Be a5-Be Fair FlirtatiousFrank Facilitator11-Be 9-Be 10- 12-Be aware ofFlatteringFallibleFond feelings 5. 1-Be ForgivingWhen the Prophet Mohammad (SAW) asked hiscompanions, Do you wish that Allah shouldforgive you? they said, Of course O Prophet ofAllah. He responded, Then forgive eachother. 6. Hold to forgiveness; command what is right; butturn away from the ignorant (Araaf,7.199) 7. Be Forgiving Spouses must be able to forgive one another Must not hold grudges Must not be judgmental towards each other Situations will arise where we say or dothings that hurt our spouses. The challenge isnot to dwell on it or lay blame but to movepast it. This can only happen if we are not too proudto ask for forgiveness and we are not stingyto forgive. If we hope for Allah to forgive us then wemust learn to forgive. 8. 2-Be Willing to Forget When we constantly remind our spouses ofall the times they have let us down or hurtus, we have not truly forgiven. Things that happened in the past must be leftthere and not be used as fresh ammunition innew situations. Couples who use this technique usually fall ina rut and become victims of their ownpettiness, unable to break free. 9. 3-Be Flexible Many couples unnecessarily make themselvesmiserable because they are unwilling to benda little. We should not expect our spouses to beextensions of ourselves; they are their ownperson, with their own personalities and likesand dislikes. We must respect their right to be themselvesas long as it does not compromise their deen. Being inflexible and not accommodating forindividual differences leads to a very stressfuland tense home atmosphere. 10. 4-Be Faithful It is commanded by Allah (swt) that we be faithfulto our spouses. Adultery is a crime in Islam that is punishable bydeath. Maintaining friendships with the opposite sexbeyond the boundaries set by Islam is beingunfaithful to spouse. The latest trend of Internet relationships is alsocontrary to Islamic adab and is causing seriousproblems between couples. Once a sense of betrayal sets in repairing thatrelationship is difficult. Betrayal of confidences. This is a trust issue andwhen compromised, that eats away at the heart ofa marriage. 11. 5-Be Fair Usually when we are angry or displeased thetendency is to not play fair. We try to convince ourselves that since we havebeen wronged it is OK to be unjust in our behaviorand our statements. Allah (SWT) states in the Quran, do not be unjustunder any circumstances, even to your enemy, andhere we are talking about our life partners and theparent of our children. To use words such as never and always whendescribing the behavior of the partner is unfairand puts the other on defensive. 12. 6-Be Flirtatious A sure way to keep romance in a marriage is toflirt with your spouse. Many successful marriages have maintained ayouthful demeanor by adopting special names foreach other and secret communication styles. It is essential that your spouse always feel specialand desired. 13. 7-Be Frank Misunderstandings happen whencouples are not honest with eachother. Partners must feel safe to speak theirmind with due consideration to theothers feeling, but withoutcompromising their own views. When the communication is not frank it hinders the development of closeness and deep understanding of each others inner self. 14. 8-Be a When choosing our life partner, we must asthe Prophet (SAW) advised look for a piousMuslim. The reason is that, their first and foremostgoal is the pleasure of Allah (SWT). This commitment to Allah(SWT) makes theman excellent facilitator for enhancing theirpartners spiritual development. In essence the couple facilitates their familyscommitment to Allah (SWT)) and His deen. 15. 9-Be Flattering Paying compliments and indulging inhonest flattery is a very inexpensiveway to win your spouses heart. Every one likes to be appreciated andnoticed. So being miserly about complimentsis actually depriving one self of beingappreciated in return. 16. 10-Fallible It often happens that ourexpectations sometimes are so highthat we lose sight of the fact that weare fallible beings. When couples start to nitpick anddemand the impossible they mustremind themselves that only Allah(SWT)) is perfect. 17. 11-Be Aware of Feelings Prophet Mohammad (SAW) stated that Allah(SWT) forgivesall sins if we repent but not those we have committedagainst others, i.e. hurt their feelings, unless the person wehave hurt forgives first. Couples are sometimes very careless when it comes to theirspouses feelings; They take them for granted and assume that the other knowswhat they mean. It is surprising that people are more sensitive and courteousto strangers than they are to their loved ones. One must be ever vigilant and careful that they do not hurtthe feelings of their spouses If they do they should apologize as soon as possible. Since one does not know when someone they love will leavethis world, is it not better to make amends when we have thetime? 18. 12-Be Fond ofEach Other So many times couples fail to work on developingfondness for each other They ignore to see their spouses as people throughthe eyes of their respective friends. Spending quality time alone doing and sharingactivities are ways in which one can developfondness. 19. And those who pray "Our Lord! grant unto us wivesand offspring who will be the comfort of our eyes andgive us (the grace) to lead the righteousFurqan,25:74 20. To Download this and otherslides, please visit:WWW.Slideshare.Net/DrYunus