Fathering, Child Protection and MBC programs

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Fathering, Child Protection and MBC programs

Dr Joanie Smith [email protected] Cathy Humphreys, Dr Chris Laming

Presented atSAFER end of project Forum 2013

Research Program:Safety and Accountability in Families Evidence and Research (SAFER)Researching An Integrated Response to Family Violence in Victoria

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Experiences of Consequences, Accountability and Responsibility by

Men for their Violence Against Women and their Children

Nested research project as part of the ARC Linkage project (No LP0776573) “Family Violence Reform: Using knowledge to develop and integrate policy and practice” or ‘The Safer Project’. This research sought to hear the voices of men and women and workers and how they experienced men’s accountability for their violence within an enhanced framework for service delivery.

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Semi structured interviews at two points of time:Ten couples, still living with or involved with their partners.

A further five women (still with their partners)

Ten more men were interviewed but not their partners

• four of these men were no longer with their partners.

Triangulation with worker interviews provided additional verification of participants’ narratives.

In total 69 semi-structured interviews

Methodology

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Almost all of the men (18/20) spoke with some remorse about their violence and its impact on their children

• and showed some responsibility for the impact of their violence

Seeing my son’s face when I hit her… I knew it wasn’t right didn’t feel like a man, felt soulless (Desmond Interview 1/2).

Children, Responsibility and Remorse

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Most participants demonstrated at least limited understanding of the harm caused to their children from witnessing their father’s violence:

Well they wouldn’t be scared of me for starters. You can see, the eight year old boy, he will flinch and that breaks my heart, don’t worry about that (Andrew Interview 1/2).

He stills remembers. It lasted a long time, [for him] the memory of that night and…I learnt a lesson for how children take on responsibility for an issue and it can be very damaging (Mitch Interview 1/2).

Understanding of Impacts

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Where men have been able to acknowledge the impact of that violence on their children, they were more ready and more able to accept responsibility for that violence.

…. I can still see his face. I don’t want my kid to be sacred of me I don’t want anyone to be scared of me (Andrew Interview 1/2).

Responsibility

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Most men moderated their responsibility and accountability in different ways.

For some, this emerged in how the impact of their violence on their children made them feel.

Their concern for their children was, to varying degrees, moderated by a focus on themselves:

I’ve got children. It hurts that I can’t see them. At times I wish I wasn’t here. Everything I seem to have and love in my life has been taken from me (Morris Interview 1/1).

Yes, I can tell they're scared - I can tell they're scared. But then that upsets me. It upsets me because they're scared (Garry Interview 1/2).

Qualified Responsibility

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Little responsibility

Two men showed no empathy for the impact of their violence on their children and

Took little, if any responsibility for their violence and its impact on their children:

What brings me to the men's behaviour change program is, after this [ongoing disputes with his ex-partner] has been going on for about four years, it was just a boiling hot day. I didn't have a licence for a couple of years, walked to school to pick [my daughter] up from school.

She was just flirting with another boy and just being a normal little girl and because I'm a single dad and I don't have that much help and, with all the fighting that I do with the mum and all the extras that I do, I took it out on her (Max Interview 1/1).

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All but four of the men (16/20), talked about how their children impacted on their motivation for change and wanting to be a better parent, relating a more specific understanding of their parental role:

• We’ve had one [argument] since we reconciled things. Um the first thing was, where are the kids? If were going do this; where are the kids? (Andrew Interview 1/2).

• Yeah, it's about choices. It's just like, if I want to do this to better myself, and if I can do that I'm going to benefit my kids (Dale interview 2/2).

Motivation to Change

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MBC program workers concurred with the impact of children on the men in the group:

Definitely children. Separation from children and supervised access.

The feeling that they are regarded as being unsafe with their own

children (Worker Interview 4).

Worker input

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Leon

Yes and since I’ve been coming here, probably every fortnight she’s had a friend stay over and I’ve consciously made an effort

- what do you want?…

So it’s just compromising and stop being selfish, that’s all it is.

(Leon Interview 1/2).

Tania

They've definitely said that dad's changed. It used to be that I couldn't work because I couldn't leave the kids with him,

not that I ever thought that he would hurt them,

but they didn't like to be with him because he was nasty. So they'd cry and didn't want me to leave

(Tania Interview 1/2).

Change Over Time

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Men’s Behaviour Change Programs

Coming to the table - ChildrenHim Her

My eight-year-old son, he said something that probably made me want to do this more than anyone. I was yelling at him, … screaming at him

And I followed him into his room and he just turned around and he said, you know I can hear you if you don’t shout. Stopped me dead in my tracks

Little kids are pure gold, really. I hate you, dad. I hate you, dad. You're so nasty. I hate you. I don't like you. Stop being mean

I say you're carrying on here in front of the kids and they're hiding in their bedroom. What's that tell you… [and he’ll say]...Oh, yeah, yeah, I don't care [then] all of a sudden he'll go, oh no. It'll dawn on him and he'll think about it.

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Men’s relationship with CP was almost universally adversarial.

The men saw child protection as an impersonal agency holding power over them, which was used unjustly and unfairly.

Used child protection involvement to create alliances with their partner against child protection.  

Men and Child Protection

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Where child protection was involved, the men almost universally saw them as the enemy with an us and them approach to their interaction:

They came to the hospital. There was about five of them against me and my partner.

That's how you see it, them against you? (Interviewer)

Oh, they've always been against me from day one (Brian Interview 1/2).

Perceptions of Victimisation and Powerlessness

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Seven of the ten men who came to MBC via child protection identified this consequence as the reason they stayed.

Access and retention at MBC programs was created via the child protection referral

Adversarial nature of this relationship created resistance to engaging in the change process

Links between CP and MBC programs

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Links between CP and MBC programs

Child protection used by the men in MBCP to obfuscate responsibility and reinforce constructions of victimisation.

Denial and minimisation facilitated by:• inconsistent responses, • time delays • staff shortages,

Impacted on effectiveness of CP as an accountability mechanism.

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No evidence of feedback loops between MBC programs and child protection.

Linkages not evident to participants.

Need to make any cooperative relationship between the two services a significant and visible part of the accountability process.

Men Child Protection and MBC Programs

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Women did not feel supported by CP in their efforts to protect their children and support their partners’ behaviour change.

CP involvement was often a catalyst for the women to leave • or demand he do something about his violence.

For some women the risk of losing their children strengthened their resolve to not tolerate his violence.

Yet the women did not see CP as an ally in this process.

Women and Child Protection

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Lost opportunities to create alliances with women faced with the possibility of losing their children.

Protecting children and supporting women’s efforts to keep their families intact and free from violence is an ongoing challenge for practitioners.

Women and Child Protection

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Women and Child Protection

Men feeling victimised:

•Inconsistent responses, •lengthy delays in responses from CP workers, repeated adjournment of court cases

Used by the men to strengthen their membership categorisation with their partners against child protection.

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Two of the men saw beyond a sense of compulsion and victimisation.

They came to understand child protection wanted to ensure their children’s safety and attendance at MBC would benefit their family. Andrew discussed the dual impact of courts and child protection:

Yeah, It was my fault the kids were taken. I wasn’t allowed to see them. That’s fine. Because I had to change. He’s my little boy and…he shouldn’t have to go through that, um, and I didn’t realise it at the time. I do now (Andrew Interview 1/2).

Moving To Accountability And Responsibility

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Darren’s comments reflected a similar attitude.

Yeah, it was that: losing the kids. But once you lose them, you're going to fight to get them back, so you have to do something.

The [child protection] said to do this behavioural program, so then yep, straight away, and then start from there (Darren Interview 1/2).

When Darren first attended the program, he was unemployed, had no money, little contact with his family and nowhere to live.

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Children Protection, MBC Programs and Fathering

Children Protection, MBC Programs and FatheringChildren and fatherhood were important concepts for men. Children were a significant informal compulsion to attend MBC programs. Children were also a strong motivator for women to demand an end to his violence, yet few women felt supported by child protection in this endeavour.

Protecting children and supporting women living with violence are difficult concepts (L Radford, Blacklock, & Iwi, 2006) which can be seen as mutually exclusive (Farmer, 2006).

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Further research is needed to explore how, or if, the interaction between the two formal consequences (MBC programs and CP) holds men accountable, and supports women’s efforts to protect their children.

If supporting women creates greater accountability for men, how can child protection strengthen this process?

The way MBC programs manage fathering as a behaviour change is an important focus for future

Children Protection, MBC Programs and Fathering

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Mitch identifies how his violence impacted on his child – who still remembers the violence. Mitch acknowledges how damaging this is. However, he qualifies this by identifying that this was scary for himself rather than his son and with no mention of his partner:

Only on one or two occasion when I went too far and was mad at [my partner] in front of [my son] and that was kind of scary for me because I realised the impact of it, he stills remembers. It lasted a long time, the memory of that night and …I learnt a lesson for how children take on responsibility for an issue and it can be very damaging, (Mitch Interview 1/2).

Um I want to be the kind of father that he would want me to be and that’s a very important thing for me (Mitch Interview 1/2).

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