EXPOSITORY ESSAY - SCIENCE FAIR PROJECT 10writingcnep.weebly.com/uploads/2/8/0/5/2805185/m4_3_expo_sci_dec… · expository essay - science fair project- ... 10. rubric (self graded)

EXPOSITORY ESSAY - SCIENCE FAIR PROJECT-

Student details: Name ……..Hsinju Chiang…………………... Class M. 4/1 ................. Number .....3 ................... Weebly ID www.30146.weebly.com ....... Mobile number ……....087-1418147…………..….. Email [email protected] .......... Published file name expository_science_formative (Hsinju-Egg in a Bottle)

Table of Contents 1. TABLE OF CONTENTS

2. FORMATIVE REQUIREMENTS COVER 3. BRAINSTORM / RESEARCH (ideas, reference paper, mind-map) 4. EXAMPLE OF PROJECT (cut/paste from reference paper.) 5. GRAPHIC ORGANIZER (flow chart) 6. ESSAY MAP 7. ORIGINAL DRAFT: (Name of peer who revised) 8. REVISED DRAFT: (Name of peer who edited) 9. PUBLISHED WORK- ORIGINAL 10. RUBRIC (self graded) 11. PUBLISHED WORK - TEACHER’S COMMENTS

Publishing Checklist PREVIEW PUBLISHED ON HOMEPAGE

COMMENTS POSTED TO LEARNING GROUP’S BLOGS REFERENCES AND CITING COMPLETE

Comments:

10

Friday 26th November, 2010 Teacher: Neville

Expository Essay- Science Fair Project.(One page essay)

Students are expected to explain the process of a Science Fair Project,

as published in Teaching ESOL Through Science Fair Experiments, by Judie

Haynes.

Structure Expository Essay, published on student’s weblog (including all prewriting).

Procedure Students log on to class weblog/ formative page and download the following files:

EXPOSITORY SCIENCE FORMATIVE

SCIENCE PROJECT

The EXPOSITORY SCIENCE FORMATIVE file should be immediately published onto

the student’s weblog.

The above files contain all the information needed to complete this exercise.

Students’ production

By Wednesday 8th December, 2010, students will have completed their work.

Students are required to publish updates of their file, progressively.

Teacher will then comment on individual student’s 9. PUBLISHED WORK- ORIGINAL and email it to

them for pasting to the final page of their file;11.PUBLISHED WORK - TEACHER’S COMMENTS

Objectives

Students will display knowledge of the elements of an Expository Essay by explaining the process,

in logical order, for a science fair experiment.

http://www.writingcnep.weebly.com

PROJECT EXAMPLE Egg in a Bottle

Question What happens when air molecules expand? Hypothesis I think that air pressure will make the egg fit through the neck of a bottle. Materials Hard-boiled egg A glass bottle Piece of paper Matches Procedure 1. Hard boil an egg. 2. Take the shell off the egg. 3. Light a small piece of paper and drop it into the bottle. 4. Put the egg on the neck of the bottle. Results The egg popped into the bottle. Conclusion The fire makes the air molecules move further apart and expand. The pressure pulls the egg into the bottle.

References: Haynes, J. (2006). River Edge Public Schools River Edge, N.J. Tampa, Florida

Comment [n1]:

Some lost opportunities with Presentation elements.

Comment [n2]: Good

BRAINSTORMING, RESEARCH, MIND-MAP - Question/problem - Hypothesis - Materials - Procedures - Constants and variable - Analysis of results - Table, graph, pictures - Conclusion

Egg in a

Bottle

Question /

problem

Hypothesis

Materials

Procedure

Variables

Analysis

of results

Conclusion

What happens when air molecules expand?

I think that air pressure will make the egg fit through the mouth of a bottle.

- Hard-boiled egg - A glass bottle - Piece of paper - Matches

1. Hard boil an egg. 2. Take the shell off the egg. 3. Light a small piece of paper and drop it into the bottle. 4. Put the egg on the mouth of the bottle.

The egg popped into the bottle.

The fire makes the air molecules move further apart and expand. The pressure pulls the egg into the bottle.

Size of egg and size of mouth of bottle

Comment [n3]: Nice mind-map.

GRAPHIC ORGANIZER

TOPIC:

Egg in Bottle

LAST: Conclusion

The fire makes the air molecules move further apart and expand. The pressure pulls the egg into the bottle.

FIRST: Question / problem

What happens when air molecules expand?

NEXT: Hypothesis

I think that air pressure will make the egg fit through the mouth of a bottle.

NEXT: Materials

Hard-boiled egg A glass bottle Piece of paper Matches

NEXT: Procedure

1. Hard boil an egg. 2. Take the shell off the egg. 3. Light a small piece of paper and drop it into the bottle. 4. Put the egg on the mouth of the bottle.

NEXT: Table / Graph

To show results in form of presentation the data.

NEXT: Analysis of Result

The egg popped into the bottle.

NEXT: Constant & variable

Variable: Size of egg Size of mouth of bottle

Comment [n4]:

I like the strong highlighted identification of each stage of the process.

ESSAY MAP

Introduction

Hook, Background,

Purpose of Writing,

Main ideas

Main Ideas

Support P.O.W. Fact,

Explain, Define, Other

elements

Main idea 2

Hypothesis

\

Main idea 4

Procedure

Main idea 6

Analysis of Result

Main idea 3

Materials you

need

Main idea 5

Variable of the

experiment

Main idea 7

Presentation

Main idea 8

Conclusion

Have you ever tried to

put a bigger thing into a

smaller mouth’s

container? If you

haven’t, let’s try with

me. I’m going to explain

process of a science

experiment from the

beginning to the end

through the materials,

procedure, results and

conclusion.

Supporting details 2

2.1 I think that air pressure will

make the egg fit through the

neck of a bottle.

Supporting details 4

4.1 Hard boil an egg 4.2 Take the shell off the egg 4.3 Light a small piece of paper and drop it into the bottle. 4.4 Put the egg on the neck of the bottle.

Supporting details 6

6.1 The egg popped into the

bottle.

Supporting details 3

3.1 Hard-boiled egg

3.2 a glass bottle

3.3 piece of paper

3.4 matches

Supporting details 5

5.1 size of egg

5.2 size of mouth of bottle

Supporting details 7

7.1 Table

7.2 Graph

Supporting details 8

8.1 The fire makes the air

molecules move further apart

and expand. The pressure pulls

the egg into the bottle.

Supporting details

Detail supporting

Main idea and further

describe,

explain, define, or

give examples

Conclusion

Summarize Main

ideas, Link to P.O.W.

Make a point

Main idea 1

Question /

problem

Supporting details 1

1.1 What happens when air

molecules expand?

This experiment was

started with think of

a topic, question or

problem and

hypothesis. After

that, prepare the

materials which are

needed, do it step

by step and

observed the result.

Finally, draw a

conclusion. As you

can see, this

experiment is not

difficult, everyone

can do it. But be

careful with the fire.

Comment [n5]:

The wording of you hook could have been clearer and stronger. Have you ever tried to pass a camel through the eye of a needle? A great Introduction with a strong P.O.W. In the Conclusion, linking back to the P.O.W. would have made it stronger.

ORIGINAL DRAFT

Egg in a Bottle

Have you ever tried to put a bigger thing into a smaller mouth’s container? If you haven’t, let’s try with me. I’m going to explain (the) process of a science experiment from the beginning to the end through the materials, procedure, results and conclusion.

Firstly, we have to think of (about) an experiment (‘s) topic which we are interested. After that, make more researches about it. In this case, the one I am interested is egg in a bottle.

Secondly, we have to make a question or problem which we will try to answer at the end of the experiment. For this experiment, my question is what happens (no s) when air molecules expand.

Thirdly, created the hypothesis to predict or guess what will happen in this experiment. Here, I think that air pressure will make the egg fit through the mouth of a bottle.

After we have a topic, question and hypothesis, we can start preparing the materials which are needed in the experiment. In this experiment, we need hard-boiled egg, a glass bottle, piece of paper and matches.

Then, now we can start doing the experiment. The first step is hard boil an egg. Second, take the shell off the egg. Third, Light a small piece of paper and drop it into the bottle. Last, put the egg on the mouth of the bottle.

The variable in this experiment is size of egg and size of mouth of bottle. They can be any sizes but mouth of a bottle should just (be) big enough for the egg to go half way through and not all the way through. (?)

After the experiment, we are able to answer the question that we made at the beginning of the experiment by the result we’ve observed. Then, observe again to see is the result same with the hypothesis? However, I observed that the egg popped into the bottle.

Then, we can show the result of the experiment by making a table and chart. So, reader can understand our experiment easier.

Therefore, we concluded that the fire makes the air molecules move further apart and expand. The pressure pulls the egg into the bottle.

This experiment was started with think of a topic, question or problem and hypothesis. After that, prepare the materials which are needed, do it step by step and observed the result. Finally, draw a conclusion. As you can see, this experiment is not difficult, everyone can do it. But be careful with the fire.

Peer’s name: Chosita K. (Atom) No. 2

Comment [n6]:

Original Draft is where you review Content Ideas and Structure of your essay. Have your learning group review it for you.

REVISED DRAFT Egg in a Bottle

Have you ever tried to put a bigger thing into a smaller mouth’s container? If you haven’t, let’s try with me. I’m going to explain the process of a science experiment from the beginning to the end through the materials, procedure, results and conclusion.

Firstly, we have to think about(of) an experiment‘s topic which we are interested. After that, make more researches about it. In this case, the one I am interested is egg in a bottle.

Secondly, we have to make a question or problem which we will try to answer at the end of the experiment. For this experiment, my question is what (will) happen when air molecules expand.

Thirdly, created the hypothesis to predict or guess what will happen in this experiment. Here, I think that air pressure will make the egg fit through the mouth of a bottle.

After we have a topic, question and hypothesis, we can start preparing the materials which are needed in the experiment. In this experiment, we need hard-boiled egg, a glass bottle, piece of paper and matches.

Then, now we can start doing the experiment. The first step is hard boil an egg. Second, take the shell off (out of)the egg. Third, Light a small piece of paper and drop it into the bottle. Last, put the egg on the mouth of the bottle.

The variable(s) in this experiment is(are) size of egg and size of mouth of bottle. They can be any sizes but mouth of a bottle should be big enough for the egg to go half way through and not all the way through.

After the experiment, we are able to answer the question that we made at the beginning of the experiment by the result we’ve observed. Then, observe again to see is(if) the result (is the)same with the hypothesis? However, I observed that the egg popped into the bottle.

Then, we can show the result of the experiment by making a table and chart. So, reader can understand our experiment easier.

Therefore, we concluded that the fire makes the air molecules move further apart and expand. The pressure pulls the egg into the bottle.

This experiment was started with think of a topic, question or problem and hypothesis. After that, prepare the materials which are needed, do it step by step and observed the result. Finally, draw a conclusion. As you can see, this experiment is not difficult, everyone can do it. But be careful with the fire.

Peer’s name: Nipawan P. (Boom) No.5

Comment [n7]:

Here you edit Punctuation, Grammar, Capital Letters and Spelling. Once again, your learning group can assist. Publish your file progressively, so they can comment.

Have you ever tried to put a bigger thing into a smaller mouth’s container? If you haven’t, let’s try with me. I’m going to explain the process of a science experiment from the beginning to the end through the materials, procedure, results and conclusion.

Firstly, we have to think of an experiment‘s topic which we are interested. After that, make more researches about it. In this case, the one I am interested is egg in a bottle.

Secondly, we have to make a question or problem which we will try to answer at the end of the experiment. For this experiment, my question is what will happen when air molecules expand.

Thirdly, created the hypothesis to predict or guess what will happen in this experiment. Here, I think that air pressure will make the egg fit through the mouth of a bottle.

After we have a topic, question and hypothesis, we can start preparing the materials which are needed in the experiment. In this experiment, we need hard-boiled egg, a glass bottle, piece of paper and matches.

Then, now we can start doing the experiment. The first step is hard boil an egg. Second, take the shell out of the egg. Third, Light a small piece of paper and drop it into the bottle. Last, put the egg on the mouth of the bottle.

The variables in this experiment are size of egg and size of mouth of bottle. They can be any sizes but mouth of a bottle should be big

enough for the egg to go half way through and not all the way through.

After the experiment, we are able to answer the question that we made at the beginning of the experiment by the result we’ve observed. Then, observe again to see if the result is the same with the hypothesis? However, I observed that the egg popped into the bottle.

Then, we can show the result of the experiment b y making a table and chart. So, reader can understand our experiment easier.

Therefore, we concluded that the fire makes the air molecules move further apart and expand. The pressure pulls the egg into the bottle.

This experiment was started with think of a topic, question or problem and hypothesis. After that, prepare the materials which are needed, do it step by step and observed the result. Finally, draw a conclusion. As you can see, this experiment is not difficult, everyone can do it. But be careful with the fire.

Name: Hsinju Chiang EP 4/1 #3 File name: expository_science_formative (Hsinju-Egg in a Bottle) www.30146.weebly.com References: - Haynes, J. (2006). River Edge Public Schools River Edge, N.J. Tampa, Florida

- http://www.csiro.au/helix/sciencemail/activities/EgginaBottle.html - http://www.sandiegozoo.org/education/science_egg_in_a_bottle.html

Comment [n8]:

Refer to my comments in Essay Map. Looks GREAT in all areas of publishing.

Comment [n9]: comma ,

Comment [n10]: question mark ?

Comment [n11]: comma ,

Comment [n12]:

period and new sentence. . We can …..

Comment [n13]: Just use “Now”.

Comment [n14]:

the mouth of the bottle..OR..the bottle’s mouth

Comment [n15]: to only go half way through.

Comment [n16]:

Use transition words to vary the introduction of the main idea in the paragraphs. Overuse of After and Then.

Comment [n17]: by

Comment [n18]: , so the reader….

Expository- Science Fair

Objective Emerging 1 Developing 2 Accomplished 3 Exemplary 4 Score

PUBLISHING

(Finished look)

The writing

demonstrates little

or no attention to visual presentation elements and is

uninviting to the

reader.

Limited attention to

visual presentation is

demonstrated. The writing creates low desire to be read.

Reflects many “lost

opportunities”. .

Attention to visual

presentation elements is strongly exhibited with only a few minor

“lost opportunities”

Attention to visual

presentation elements

is such that the writing

has an immediate

impact and is highly

inviting to the reader.

Uniform spacing

4

Appropriate use of font

style, sizes and colors.

4

Appealing use of white

space

4

Effective integration of

text and illustrations,

photos, charts, graphs,

maps and tables.

4

Skillful and tasteful use

of colors in layout.

4

The blog reflects the

personality of the

writer.

4

EXPOSITORY

ESSAY ELEMENTS

Gives facts. Explains.

Steps in a process.

Present ideas in logical

order, correct

sequence.

Writing does not display elements of an Expository Essay

Contains all elements but does not meet

criteria in one or more

All elements are present and complete.

Expository Structure exceeds requirement

4

ESSAY STRUCTURE

INTRO- contains strong

Purpose of Writing.

PARAGRAPHS-Topic

sentence, plus

supporting ideas and

examples. Transitional

words used.

CONCLUSION- links

back to P.O.W.

Basic Structure is

incomplete. Display little structure.

Structure is generally

evident and mostly correct

Structure is complete

Structure exceeds

standards and enhances the writing

3

Comment [n19]:

A well structured and presented essay. Your learner group can assist you with Editing in particular. 31 out of 32 points = 10 grade points.