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The Unknown Leader: An Eulogy Ding Cheung Yue May 1929 - Sep 2009
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Eulogy To The Unknown Leader

May 24, 2015

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Page 1: Eulogy To The Unknown Leader

The Unknown Leader: An Eulogy

Ding Cheung YueMay 1929 - Sep 2009

Page 2: Eulogy To The Unknown Leader

"Well my view is that you can't take it with you. Be it money, talent, patience, love.

Whatever your gift is, you can't take it with you. So what are you going to do with it whilst

you are here? Who have you lifted up? Who have you made better? Who have you

helped out? Not how much do you have but what do you have? Some people have love,

some have patience, some have money. Whatever your talent is, and we all have

something, help your fellow man..... You do the best you can with what you have.”

Denzel Washington on ‘what is your gift?’

My dad left a precious gift. He may not have seen it as such.

He toiled and struggled throughout his working life - struggling to provide for his family.

Yet, through it all, he demonstrated great self-leadership and leadership. His values and

ethics never faltered. What a great 'living' gift he bestowed upon my two brothers and

me. The gift of knowing and understand that .... you can remain who you are in spite of

your environment and circumstance.

So, what do you have? What gift are you bestowing upon others?

ForewordKwai Yu

Page 3: Eulogy To The Unknown Leader

This is a celebration of a humanbeing who, because he is ahuman being …..

Page 4: Eulogy To The Unknown Leader

He was

not

Perfect.

None of us

are.

Page 5: Eulogy To The Unknown Leader

He was someonewho survived the

rough and tumblethat life threw at

him. And yet,hidden underneaththe imperfection is a‘diamond from the

rough’.

Page 6: Eulogy To The Unknown Leader

Before I talk more about my dad - let me tellyou a little story of Dee Hock’s one hornedmother cow, Lily. Dee is the former founderof VISA

Page 7: Eulogy To The Unknown Leader

Dee was working late one night at his farmwhen he heard the distressed call of Lily. Lilyhad escaped out of the barn and gave birthnear a steep river bank.

Page 8: Eulogy To The Unknown Leader

The calf had been swept downstream, but itwas beginning to drown through exhaustionwhen Dee found it. Dee pulled it out of thewater and it revived a little.

Page 9: Eulogy To The Unknown Leader

Dee carried the calf on his back and beganinching up the bank.

So, what does a one-horned mother cowhave to do with my dad?

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A true leader cannot be forced to lead. A truefollower cannot be forced to follow. The momentwe are forced, we are no longer leader or follower.We become superior or inferior, manager oremployee, master or servant, or owner or slave.

Leadership!

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Right Stuff!The first responsibility of any leader is to leadthemselves; to manage their own stuff, theRIGHT STUFF!! What kind of right stuff am I

talking about?

Page 12: Eulogy To The Unknown Leader

Int

eg

rit

y

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Ch

ar

ac

te

r

Page 14: Eulogy To The Unknown Leader

Et

hic

s

Page 15: Eulogy To The Unknown Leader

Wis

do

m

Page 16: Eulogy To The Unknown Leader

Temperament

Page 17: Eulogy To The Unknown Leader

Wo

rd

s

Page 18: Eulogy To The Unknown Leader

Ac

tio

n

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This is incredibly difficult.We find it much easier tocontrol others and becauseof this, we spend little timemastering our own rightstuff.

However, if you can’t leadyourself, you cannot leadothers no matter how muchauthority you’ve got.

I don’t know how muchtime my dad spent inleading himself – but he dida remarkable job

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Without their consent and support, it can be difficultto do our stuff. Dee Hock says you should spend

25% of your time doing this

The second responsibility of a leader is to managethose who lead us.

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Whereas my mum probably spent 90% of her timemanaging my dad. Now you know why it’s my

mum who wore the trousers in our house. !

For most of my dad’s life, the only leader he had tomanage was my mum. And he probably onlyspent 5% of his time doing that.

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The third responsibility of a leader is to managetheir peers because without their respect andconfidence, it would be difficult to achieveanything.

And my dad treated everyone thesame. He always said, there is nothingwrong in opening the front door in mypyjamas … I don’t care whether it isthe postman or the Queen at the door!!

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It has been said that ……

“Unless you are clear about your purpose and yourvalues and are doing something that you reallycare about, it is difficult to act as a leader. You areunlikely to possess the will and the resilience thatare needed to carry you through the inevitableuncertainties and setbacks.”

Page 24: Eulogy To The Unknown Leader

Right Stuff!So, a vital question is how to insure that those who

lead are in possession of the RIGHT STUFF. Theanswer is to follow those who have shown theyhave the RIGHT STUFF. I’m thankful that my dad

had the right stuff

Page 25: Eulogy To The Unknown Leader

Right Stuff!He showed us the RIGHT STUFF through his senseof community; through finding meaning to his

life; through his vision of a future, our future; andthrough his ethical principles. He had lots of

RIGHT STUFF.

Page 26: Eulogy To The Unknown Leader

Wrong

Stuff!

Mind you, he had some ofthe wrong stuff too …. !

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Everyone was born a leader. From themoment of our birth, don’t we immediatelylead our parents, siblings, and peers? Watcha baby cry and the parents jump.

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We were all born leaders; that is, until wewere sent to school and taught to bemanaged and to manage.

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Perhaps that’s why my dad never lost muchof the RIGHT STUFF. He had very littleschooling or education.

He had very little Chinese education andtaught himself to read and write. At 80, hestill wrote beautifully.

Page 30: Eulogy To The Unknown Leader

He failed to master English in his 45 years inEngland. That’s not quite true, he knew thenames of every race course, jockeys, horsesand bookies …. And more importantly, thewords ‘each way bet’ !

Page 31: Eulogy To The Unknown Leader

When my grandfather was killed during WW II - myfather was chosen by the family to trek 200 milesfrom Guangzhou to Hong Kong to ensure onemember of the family would survive the Japaneseinvasion. He was 12 at the time. He made it toHong Kong and had to fight for himself ever since.

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Prior to the Japanese invasion, we were avery wealthy family - we had land in Canadathat required crop spraying with a plane andmy grandfather operated a rural bank. Thatwas all gone.

Page 33: Eulogy To The Unknown Leader

In all of this, my dadnever lost his

dignity, self-respect,self-esteem and asense of honesty

and integrity. He'snever once

moaned abouthow bad life has

treated him. He isthe embodiment of

purpose, hope,humility, courage

and resilience.

Page 34: Eulogy To The Unknown Leader

But what about Lily, the one-horned cow?Dee Hock managed to get onto the edge ofthe bank. As he paused to gather hisstrength, he heard an enraged, heart-stopping bellow.

Page 35: Eulogy To The Unknown Leader

Lily was staring at Dee; who by now isexhausted, thigh deep in raging, icy waterand with sixty-pound junior wrapped aroundhis neck. He knew what Lily was thinking,that he was taking her baby home for lunch.

Page 36: Eulogy To The Unknown Leader

In that brief instant, the essence ofleadership for Dee Hock was simpleand clear.

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First:manage

myself andget mind,body, andemotions

undercontrol

before theyceased to

exist.

Page 38: Eulogy To The Unknown Leader

Second: manage the one-ton ofenraged cow that most certainly hadpower over him.

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Third: manage the environment andget the hell out of here.

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Fourth and by far the least important,manage his only subordinate, the 40kgsliving, breathing scarf wrapped around hisneck.

The moral of the story is simply this: if you keep yourwits about you, you can learn everything you needto know about leadership from a one-horned cow.

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My dad may not have had the education or formalleadership training, but he kept his wits close to him.There were only 3 things that got closer to my dadthan his wits. They were my MUM …..

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The TV Remote Control

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His Malt Whiskey

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…. Andsometimes, notnecessarily inthat order !

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Some of you will knowthat I have formed the

Leaders CaféFoundation. As I

speak, there will be100,000 college

students who will hearof my dad’s story ofhope, courage andresilience. This is a

precious ‘gift’ from aman of simple means,

simple tastes andsimple pleasures.

That’s why today is a celebration

Page 46: Eulogy To The Unknown Leader

Emigrating to the UK in 1970 and not speaking any English -getting a grade C in English is my greatest achievement todate. I’m proud of this because it reflects my dad’sleadership.

Page 47: Eulogy To The Unknown Leader

When I finished my secondary schooling at 16 andgot my ‘O’ levels. I wanted to stay in the sameschool for my ‘A’ levels but my family needed tomove to another area 35 miles away.

My dad was a great believer in education. Here ismy certificate for successfully completing nurseryeducation in Hong Kong - aged five.

Page 48: Eulogy To The Unknown Leader

Yes, this is Kwai - aged 5

My dad decided to let me stay at my old school. He had topay for my food and shelter and for extra help in the newtakeaway shop 35 miles away. He needed to replace his 16year old chef (me) because I was also the chef of ourtakeaway.

Page 49: Eulogy To The Unknown Leader

The following sums up what my dad did for my two brothersand me …..

“If you want to build a ship, don’t herdpeople together to collect wood and don’t

assign them tasks and work, but ratherteach them to long for the endless

immensity of the sea.”

He toiled and struggled as the ‘shipbuilder’ himself.

But he always got us to focus on the horizon.

Going peacefully was his just reward.