Discipline. Love Warmth Discipline Laughter NONE! All are good! ◦ Society uses discipline wrong which makes us think it is negative.

Unit 6: Challenging Situations

Discipline

Which word is Negative?

LoveWarmthDisciplineLaughter

NONE! All are good!

◦Society uses discipline wrong which makes us think it is negative.

A penalty inflicted for wrong doing, a crime or offense.◦ Treatment – verbal attacks, withholding privileges,

removal, hit, spank, hurting, prison.◦ May restrain a child temporarily, but it does not

teach self-discipline. ◦ Might teach obedience to authority, but not self-

control which enhances self-respect.

Punishment

The method for redirecting behavior when needed through example, words, actions, and each individual incident.◦ To teach and to train. ◦ To train by instruction and exercise. ◦ Training a behavior in accordance with rules and

conduct. A long term process that gradually leads to

a child becoming responsible for their own behavior through teaching and training.

Best done:◦ FIRM , FAIR , FRIENDLY

Discipline

Firm: Clearly stated rules and consequences that are adhered to continually - when the inappropriate behavior occurs.

Fair: Appropriate punishment that fits the crime. Consequences are

stated in advance, not a surprise. ◦ Also in the case of recurring behavior, consequences should be stated in

advance so the child knows what to expect. Harsh punishment is not necessary. Using a simple Time Out can be effective when it is used consistently every time the behavior occurs. Also, use of reward for a period of time like part of a day or a whole day when no Time Outs or maybe only one Time Out is received.

Friendly: Use a friendly but firm communication style when letting a child know they have behaved inappropriately and let them know they will receive the "agreed upon" consequence. Encourage them to try to remember what they should do instead to avoid future consequences. Work at "catching them being good" and praise them for appropriate behavior.

Discipline should be:

What caregivers do to influence behavior.◦ The act or function of guiding. ◦ Giving advice or counseling. ◦ Helping, teaching, showing.

Done Continually through example, words, and actions.

Guidance

Spanking ContinuumWhere Do you Fit?

I agree with spanking I disagree with spanking

Where does spanking fit – Discipline or Punishment?

To incorporate positive discipline and guidance so the child will gain: (2. A & B)◦ inner self-control ◦ become independent ◦ Be self-reliant ◦ Practice self-guidance/disciplining (controlling

one’s own behavior) Even when you are not around. PUNSHMENT DOES NOT DO THIS….

Overall Goal of Positive Discipline

Encourage = Instill (give) courageDiscourage = Remove courage

• A./B. From last slide• Parent’s who punish rather than discipline may have

children that rebel

• Respond to aggressive behavior in a non-aggressive way.

• Adults who do not reinforce appropriate behavior, may have children who resort to problem behavior

• Children often misbehave for attention. Withdraw from the conflict and resolve the problem later.

• Attention is a powerful reinforcer that guides children positively or negatively.

Overall points of discipline:

Feed to Live, Starve to Die

Behavior Needs Situations- page 3

◦ Remember that we all act in certain ways to meet our own needs.

◦ Children are no different and their behavior, or misbehavior, can be understood best if the underlying need or reason for their behavior is identified.

A child misbehaves when one of the following behavioral needs are not being met:

Reasons for a child’s misbehavior:

SCISSOR G

AME

Have appropriate expectations for the child’s developmental age.

1. Normal behavior for the child’s age

Strawberry pie - accidents

2. Natural curiosityProvide opportunities to experiment and satisfy curiosity.

Inadequate or misunderstood instructions, they really are trying to do what was asked (too high of expectations).

They are trying something new and do not realize what the consequences might be.

3. They do not know any better

Donut wrapper

Give attention only to that which you want to be repeated and ignore questionable or undesirable behavior.

Negative attention is still attention

4. To get attention

Feed what you want to Live, Starve what you want to Die.

Children want some power and control in their lives or they become upset over the amount of control others have over them and might rebel or assert a degree of power and control.

5. To get power

Working to hurt or “get even” for what they have been made to do or feel

6. For revenge

Constantly correcting or giving negative reinforcement might make a kid quit trying because the are afraid of failing

7. Feeling inadequate or incapable

Wanting to find a place in a family or peer group where they fit in.

This place may be positive or negative, but the need is met

8. The need to feel that they belong

Love when they are least lovable.Focus on the child NOT on the action.

Peter goes to church with his father. His father becomes upset because Peter will not sit quietly.____________________

Mother asks David to help clear the table. David refuses and says “NO!”_______________

Behavior Needs Situations- page 3

Discipline Video

1. If children live with criticism, They learn to condemn

2. If children live with hostility, They learn to fight

3. If children live with fear, They learn to be apprehensive

4. If children live with pity, They learn to feel sorry for themselves

5. If children live with jealousy, They learn what envy is

6. If children live with shame, They learn to feel guilty

7. If children live with tolerance, They learn to be patient

8. If children live with encouragement, They learn to be confident

9. If children live with praise, They learn to appreciate

10. If children live with approval, They learn to like themselves

11. If children live with acceptance, They learn to find love in the world

12. If children live with recognition, They learn to have a goal

13. If children live with sharing, They learn to be generous

14. If children live with honesty and fairness, They learn what truth and justice are

15. If children live with security, They learn to have faith in themselves and in those around them

16. If children live with friendliness, They learn that the world is a nice place in which we live

17. If children live with serenity, They learn to have a peace of mind

 18. With what are your children living?

Dorthy L. Nolte

Children Learn What They Live