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Dealing with conflict effectively by Toronto Training and HR June 2012
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Dealing with conflict effectively June 2012

May 17, 2015

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Business

Timothy Holden

Half day open training event delivered in Toronto.
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Page 1: Dealing with conflict effectively June 2012

Dealing with conflict effectively

by Toronto Training and HR

June 2012

Page 2: Dealing with conflict effectively June 2012

Contents

3-4 Introduction to Toronto Training and HR5-6 Definition7-9 What is conflict?10-11 Elements that produce conflict12-13 Sources of conflict14-15 Functions of conflict16-17 Common responses to conflict situations18-19 Avoiding conflict20-22 Ways of dealing with conflict23-25 Alpha people26-31 Disruptive behaviour32-34 When disagreements occur…35-37 Reasons managers give for not resolving

conflict38-40 Empowering employees to handle the

themselves41-44 Difficult conversations45-46 Achieving better mediation47-48 Reflection following mediation49-50 Resolving issues with people you manage51-52 Resolving issues with peers53-54 Strategies for managing conflict 55-56 Drill57-58 Conclusion and questions

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Introduction

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Introduction to Toronto Training and HR

• Toronto Training and HR is a specialist training and human resources consultancy headed by Timothy Holden

• 10 years in banking• 10 years in training and human resources• Freelance practitioner since 2006• The core services provided by Toronto Training and HR

are:- Training event design- Training event delivery- Reducing costs- Saving time- Improving employee engagement &

morale- Services for job seekers

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Definition

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Definition

Conflict

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What is conflict?

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What is conflict? 1 of 2Types of conflictAttitudes and actionsIs all conflict bad?Phases of conflictInterpersonal conflictsExternal conflictStyles of handling conflictProcessing conflicts

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What is conflict? 2 of 2Reaching agreementEmpathizing with othersManaging conflict between groupsDisciplinary matters

PositivesNegatives

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Elements that produce conflict

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Elements that produce conflict

InterdependenceInconsistent goalsTechnologiesScarcity of resources

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Sources of conflict

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Sources of conflict

Differences between organizational and individual goalsDifferences between different departments and groupsDifferences between the formal and informalDifferences between leaders and ledDifferences between individuals and their jobDifferences between individuals

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Functions of conflict

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Functions of conflict

Established and maintains identities and boundariesMaintains relationships through venting hostilitiesPotential to change conditions that led to original hostility

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Common responses to conflict situations

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Common responses to conflict situations

AvoidanceCompromiseCompetitionAccommodationCollaboration

Submission

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Avoiding conflict

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Avoiding conflict

Goals and benchmarksClear rolesSet high expectations and use strengthsDetermine how to communicate most effectivelyDevelop a win/win attitudeEvaluate and discussResourcesModel desired behaviour

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Ways of dealing with conflict

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Ways of dealing with conflict

1 of 2Clarify the goals and reinforce those that are agreedRenegotiate the use of resourcesClarify the work of individuals by having a serious appraisal, redesigning the job and changing their level of responsibilityChange the nature of relationships to a more co-operative structure

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Ways of dealing with conflict

2 of 2Re-examine the formal structures of the organization to see if they are appropriate, changing them where they are not and reinforcing them where they are

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Alpha people

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Alpha people 1 of 2

Use clear feedback to tell people of the impact of their behaviour and what you expect from themPlan your words – be clear, concise and direct Use ‘I’ statements – “I think/I believe/I feel” etc.Be responsive to Alpha people and what they’re saying, even if they are being aggressiveDo not be apologetic for no reason

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Alpha people 2 of 2Watch your voice tone, volume and pace – don’t whisper, whine, falter or speak too slowly, or you’ll sound nervous and uncertain Watch your body language – stand firm and upright and maintain eye contactChallenge inappropriate Alpha People behaviourUse the Broken Record technique – keep repeating the point you want to make until you have the impact you wantSay No!

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Disruptive behaviour

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Disruptive behaviour 1 of 5

What are disruptive behaviours?What does disruptive behaviour look and sound like?

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Disruptive behaviour 2 of 5

RECOMMENDATIONS“Pre-resolve” conflicts using office tools and by communicating policies and protocolsResolve the concerns informally where possible

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Disruptive behaviour 3 of 5

SPECIFIC SCENARIOS AND BEHAVIOURSHostile/aggressive behaviourBlamingUnresponsive to feedbackSingle instances

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Disruptive behaviour 4 of 5

TOOLS TO USEFocus on the positiveKeep your voice and body open, relaxed and friendlyWork towards and agreement firstEstablish boundaries

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Disruptive behaviour 5 of 5

WARNING SIGNSBehavioursEmotionsThoughts

High riskChecklist

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When disagreements occur…

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When disagreements occur… 1 of 2DO YOU?

Shut down people with whom I disagree?Address the issue at hand diplomatically and not attack the individual?Express thoughts and beliefs tactfully when they differ from those just expressed?Listen to others’ concerns with an open mind?

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When disagreements occur… 2 of 2DO YOU?

Shut down people with whom I disagree?Address the issue at hand diplomatically and not attack the individual?Express thoughts and beliefs tactfully when they differ from those just expressed?Listen to others’ concerns with an open mind?

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Reasons managers give for not tackling conflict

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Reasons managers give for not tackling conflict 1 of 2

I don’t really know howI don’t want to open a can of wormsI haven’t been successful beforeProblem? What problem?I don’t know where to start

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Reasons managers give for not tackling conflict 2 of 2

It’s not my businessI’m not a babysitterI have real work to doI don’t want to have to fire anyoneI don’t want to look bad

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Empowering employees to tackle the problem

themselves

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Empowering employees to handle the problems

themselves 1 of 2Guide the preparationInform them if this will form part of their HR filesConfidentialityEstablish the timeframeManagers’ availability if neededProvide resources

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Empowering employees to handle the problems

themselves 2 of 2Closing the loop-expected feedbackPlans to address future disagreementsExpectations of progressFinal outcomesWhat happens if they come to a standstill

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Difficult conversations

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Difficult conversations 1 of 3

What happened?SubstanceFeelingsRational and irrationalIdentityWho am I? What do people think of me?

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Difficult conversations 2 of 3

STEPS TO TAKEPrepareStart in neutralListen for understandingNegotiate and share emotions freelyReframe the conversationKeep the conversation productive

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Difficult conversations 3 of 3

COACHINGStart with heartLearn to lookMake it safeMaster my storiesState my pathExplore the paths of others

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Achieving better mediation

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Achieving better mediationManagementRelationshipsProcedures and resourcesOld remediesBetter proceduresCost benefitsHelp for managersImproving the cultureMediation on steroidsWant to cash in?

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Reflection following mediation

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Reflection following mediation

What did I learn?How well did I communicate?Where was I effective?Where was I ineffective?How will I use this experience in the future?What do I still need to learn?What will my ideal behaviour look like?How will I know if I am not successful?Who can help me?

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Resolving issues with people you manage

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Resolving issues with people you manage

Creating a dialogueWhat the conflicts are usually aboutProactively adapting your approachCreating a positive environmentKeeping your power in checkConsidering nerves

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Resolving issues with peers

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Resolving issues with peers

Respecting a peer’s positionBeing sensitive to locationPreserving the working relationship

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Strategies for managing conflict

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Strategies for managing conflict

Denial/avoidanceSuppressionPower or dominanceThird party interventionCompromise or negotiationIntegration or collaboration

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Drill

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Drill

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Conclusion and questions

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Conclusion and questions

Summary, suggestions and pearls of wisdom VideosQuestions