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Ah yiz, you can just smell it in the air. It is very fragrant... subtle notes of caramel, pumpkin, and cavities. As a kid, Halloween carried some fond memories. Every- one loved the school parties and planned out their costumes for weeks, maybe months, in advance for that one night. It was devastating if another person had the SAME Power Rangers costume as you. A Halloween in Michigan required a snowsuit at times, but that didn’t stop anyone from forcing their parents to walk around subdivision streets looking for the houses that had the King Size candy bars. You probably didn’t feel like you were winning un- less your bag or plastic Jack-O-Lantern was filled to the top and you could barely carry it home. Secretly, your parents were either throwing out your candy without you looking or they were eating it, depend- ing on what kind of parents you had. Those were some good times that nobody will ever forget. Well, in college things are a little different. Hallow- een means good times that nobody will [probably] ever remember. There are subtle notes of sugar and pumpkin. However, this is not from an innocent Twix and a “scary” Jack-O-Lantern. The sugar smell is probably some weird concoction of alcohol, gum- my bears, and some type of Kool-Aid or something. The pumpkin smell is probably some girl who just spewed her pumpkin late on College Ave. Welcome to a week long string of events. Hallow- een tricks and treats are no longer limited to a single night that is over by 9pm. No. Halloween can last as long as your liver is partially functioning. Yes, a straight week of bad decisions. This time, it looks like people spent about 20 minutes trying to plan out their cos- tumes. Girls are either a sexy kitten, a sexy bunny, a Don’t Settle For Crappy Pizza! Get A Large Studio Pepperoni Pizza For As Little As $8 !! Daily Specials at www.thestudiopizza.com 10% Discount for All Students Downtown Hancock, across from Finlandia 48 2 -5 1 0 0 48 2 -5 1 0 0 48 2 -5 1 0 0 482-5100 ww w . thestudiopizz a .com ww w . thestudiopizz a .com www.thestudiopizza.com Pizzas Pizza Lovers Love! Monday, 28 October 2013 Only 58 more days until Christmas decorations in stores are taken down. It is the middle ground between light and shadow, between science and superstition, and it lies between the pit of man’s fears and the summit of his knowledge. This is the dimension of imagination. It is an area which we call the Twilight Zone. --Rod Serling Tech to Implement Additional Cost Cutting Measures Halloween: Then and Now by Chase “Jellyroll” Peterson ~ Staff Writer by Abigail Skibowski ~ Staff Writer the Daily Bull see Candy Corn on back Following hot on the heels of the infamous mass lab closings of 2013, Michigan Technological University has announced that it will begin implementing its newest cost saving strat- egy; beginning next semester it would begin a mass closing of classrooms and lab space. In a press release the university put out last Monday, it an- nounced that it would begin closing classrooms. The news came as a massive shock to the already reeling student popu- lation that have been displaced since the IT overlords de- creed that the computers were costing too much to main- tain, and subsequently spent millions to remodel every lab on campus stating that this would “promote a high level of synergy between students by allowing them to engage in healthy competition for the remaining computers”. The student body is shocked at the news. “I knew that this was a very progressive university that was working on some aggressive cost saving activities” one student from Baraga said “but I just can’t believe it” she continued. “Don’t they realize that this means that they will need to schedule classes around the clock now?” one third year mechanical engineering stu- dent stated “And don’t even get me started about the Satur- day and Sunday classes that will be worked into the sched- ule, I mean when am I supposed to go to the bar, or hang out with my friends?” he exclaimed. When asked about reasoning behind the sudden and abrupt change the Board of Regents cited studies that during the semester precious classroom space was only being utilized for 8% of the week. “That means that on the busiest week of the busiest semester 92% of the campus is just sitting idle” the head regent remarked. “Just think of all that wasted space” another regent exclaimed “we can reduce our car- bon and financial footprint by eliminating about 75% of the classrooms”. When asked why reduce the classroom space Pic o’ the Day The Daily Bull is probably not suitable for those under age 18 and should not be taken seriously...like costumes! see Caramel Apples on back
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Daily Only 58 more days until Christmas Monday, 28 October ...

Apr 11, 2022

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Page 1: Daily Only 58 more days until Christmas Monday, 28 October ...

Ah yiz, you can just smell it in the air. It is very fragrant...subtle notes of caramel, pumpkin, and cavities. As a kid, Halloween carried some fond memories. Every-one loved the school parties and planned out their costumes for weeks, maybe months, in advance for that one night. It was devastating if another person had the SAME Power Rangers costume as you.

A Halloween in Michigan required a snowsuit at times, but that didn’t stop anyone from forcing their parents to walk around subdivision streets looking for the houses that had the King Size candy bars. You probably didn’t feel like you were winning un-less your bag or plastic Jack-O-Lantern was filled to the top and you could barely carry it home. Secretly, your parents were either throwing out your candy without you looking or they were eating it, depend-ing on what kind of parents you had. Those were some good times that nobody will ever forget.

Well, in college things are a little different. Hallow-een means good times that nobody will [probably] ever remember. There are subtle notes of sugar and pumpkin. However, this is not from an innocent Twix and a “scary” Jack-O-Lantern. The sugar smell is probably some weird concoction of alcohol, gum-my bears, and some type of Kool-Aid or something. The pumpkin smell is probably some girl who just spewed her pumpkin late on College Ave.

Welcome to a week long string of events. Hallow-een tricks and treats are no longer limited to a single night that is over by 9pm. No. Halloween can last as long as your liver is partially functioning. Yes, a straight week of bad decisions. This time, it looks like people spent about 20 minutes trying to plan out their cos-tumes. Girls are either a sexy kitten, a sexy bunny, a

Don’t Settle For Crappy Pizza! Get A Large Studio Pepperoni

Pizza For As Little As $8 !!

Daily Specials at www.thestudiopizza.com 10% Discount for All Students

Downtown Hancock, across from Finlandia

482-5100482-5100482-5100482-5100www.thestudiopizza.comwww.thestudiopizza.comwww.thestudiopizza.com

Pizzas Pizza Lovers Love!

Monday, 28 October 2013Only 58 more days until Christmas decorations in stores are taken down.

It is the middle ground between light and shadow, between science and superstition, and it lies between the pit of man’s fears and the summit of his knowledge. This is the dimension of

imagination. It is an area which we call the Twilight Zone.

--Rod Serling

Tech to Implement Additional Cost Cutting Measures

Halloween: Then and Now

by Chase “Jellyroll” Peterson ~ Staff Writer

by Abigail Skibowski ~ Staff Writer

theDailyBull

see Candy Corn on back

Following hot on the heels of the infamous mass lab closings of 2013, Michigan Technological University has announced that it will begin implementing its newest cost saving strat-egy; beginning next semester it would begin a mass closing of classrooms and lab space.

In a press release the university put out last Monday, it an-nounced that it would begin closing classrooms. The news came as a massive shock to the already reeling student popu-lation that have been displaced since the IT overlords de-creed that the computers were costing too much to main-tain, and subsequently spent millions to remodel every lab on campus stating that this would “promote a high level of synergy between students by allowing them to engage in healthy competition for the remaining computers”.

The student body is shocked at the news. “I knew that this was a very progressive university that was working on some aggressive cost saving activities” one student from Baraga said “but I just can’t believe it” she continued. “Don’t they realize that this means that they will need to schedule classes around the clock now?” one third year mechanical engineering stu-dent stated “And don’t even get me started about the Satur-day and Sunday classes that will be worked into the sched-ule, I mean when am I supposed to go to the bar, or hang out with my friends?” he exclaimed.

When asked about reasoning behind the sudden and abrupt change the Board of Regents cited studies that during the semester precious classroom space was only being utilized for 8% of the week. “That means that on the busiest week of the busiest semester 92% of the campus is just sitting idle” the head regent remarked. “Just think of all that wasted space” another regent exclaimed “we can reduce our car-bon and financial footprint by eliminating about 75% of the classrooms”. When asked why reduce the classroom space

Pic o’ the Day

The Daily Bull is probably not suitable for those under age 18 and should not be taken seriously...like costumes!

see Caramel Apples on back

Page 2: Daily Only 58 more days until Christmas Monday, 28 October ...

by 75%, the board responded with “it’s a nice round number, and we like round numbers, much better than the other non-round numbers we see”

The facility’s response to the change closely mirrors that of the student pop-ulation. While scheduling will be done on the basis of seniority with tenured professors at the top getting the prime Monday-Friday spots with full profes-sors getting the early and late slots and adjunct professors getting what’s left. The only department where this will not be the case is in the Computer Sci-ence Department, where it will be completely reversed to take into account the CS majors’ natural predilection for a dominantly nocturnal cycle.

When asked if there was anything that the student body could do to voice their displeasure at the proposed change the board of regents responded with “Oh, just email IT, they can’t do anything about it, but they have become our whipping boy, and we do like to whip them.”

sexy nurse, or a sexy cow-girl. As you can see, there is quite the pattern. It is the perfect excuse for females to wear as little clothing as possible, even in the frosty conditions. Guys are either a lumberjack or drunk. But that is basically the same thing, so it doesn’t count. You’re not winning unless your plastic Jack-O-Lantern is filled to the top with something else besides candy.

However, your parents will not be there to try to make sure you treat yourself in moderation. So go out and enjoy yourself. You already have memories from past Halloweens, so there is no need to remember this one. If the Grim Reaper comes and offers you candy, take it, or ask what the “trick” is instead. It could be a good story.

from Candy Corn on front

The Daily Bull

Hey, hey you! Listen!

We’re online! Check us out, yo

@MTUBull

Typewriter Monkeys: Liz ‘Riz’ Fujita, Nathan ‘Invincible’ Miller, Jeanine Chmielewski, Jeremy ‘Mr. Sunshine’ Loucks, Veronica Tabor, Chase Peterson, Corey Tindall, Theresa Tran, Abigail Skibowski, Evan Krettek, Joshua Stuempges, and Burt and Ernie.

©2013 by the Daily Bull, a non-profit organization. All rights reserved. Articles may be freely distributed electronically or on late night talk shows provided credit is given, and that this notice is included. The Daily Bull reserves the right to refuse any advertisements or guest articles without reason. All opinionated letters sent to the editor (on paper or to [email protected]) will be treated as material to be published unless expressly stated otherwise by the sender. Original works printed in the Daily Bull remain the property of the creator, however the Daily Bull reserves the right to reprint any submissions in future issues unless specifically asked not to do so by the creator. If you keep reading this small text, you’ll dress as a ghost for Halloween.

The Daily Bull would like to thank the Daily Bull for buying our own damn printer that this publication is printed on. We would also like to thank the Student Activity Fee for helping to pay for our paper and toner costs. And our vuvuzelas.

Daily Bull

Advertising inquiries, questions & comments should be directed to

[email protected]

EDITOR IN CHIEFCOMP EDITOR

BEAN COUNTERMEAL TICKETSECRETARIAT

ADVISOR

Alex DinsmoorElise ConleyRiCO BastianZachary EvansKara BakowskiDavid Olson

from Caramel Apples on front

The heavily-outlined groups of squares in each grid are called “cages.” In the upper-left corner of each cage, there is a “target number” and a math operation (+, –, x, ÷).

Fill in each square of a cage with a number.

The numbers in a cage must combine—in any order, using only that cage’s math opera-tion—to form that cage’s target number.

Example: Your target number is 5, your operation is addition, you’re using the numbers 1–4, and the cage is made up of two squares. You could fill in 2 and 3 (because 2 + 3 = 5) or

1 and 4 (1 + 4 = 5). But which number goes in which square?

You may not repeat a number in any row or column. You can repeat a number within a cage, as long as those repeated numbers are not in the same row or column.

Yet another addition to the family of costumes that should not have a sexy version, joining Mrs. Potatohead, Oscar the Grouch, Teletubbies, Big Bird, Chinese Food, and Corn on the

Cob.

HEY YOU!Are you an able-bodied person who thinks that you’re funny, even if your friends don’t? If so, then you could write for The Bull! We are always looking for students to come join our staff and write for the

paper you know and love!Everyone is invited to join, be you a first year, senior, or cave monster!

Meetings are on Wednesdays at 9:15PM in Walker 144! Feel free to email [email protected] with any and all questions you may have!