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how to use this book

The most important thing to know about using this book is: There is

no wrong way to use this book.

Y ou can skip around and answer whatever ques-tions call out to you in the moment, or you can start at the beginning and go through all the ques-tions in order. You can designate someone to write

down the answers, or you can each take turns. You can answer one question per day at a set time (such as at dinner or before bed), or you can go through several at once on a date night. You can even take this book with you on a road trip and play “getting to know you” as you drive toward a new adventure.

And of course, you can mix and match any of these ideas and add your own. What’s important is that you have fun with it.

Questions are like portals to our hearts. In this journal, you have 400 of them. They’re designed to be answered by you and your partner together, and every answer is meant to help you understand, love, and accept each other in a deeper way.

Using the power of these questions, you can . . .

✶ Spend quality time connecting with each other and igniting conversations that are meaningful and fun.

✶ Improve your communication in a way that feels safe and easy, and that allows you to better understand your partner in life and love.

✶ Learn more about each other’s passions, dreams, and rela-tionship goals, and brainstorm ideas about how to create a life together that you both love, whether you’ve been together for 30 days or 30 years.

There are seven categories of questions—some serious and deep, others lighthearted and entertaining. All the categories are varied throughout the book, so you’ll have a bit of serious-ness with a dash of fun as you read along. Each category will be color coded with its own special icon.

YOUR RELATIONSHIP What is your relationship like with your partner? These questions explore the ins and outs of your relationship in the present—and how you envision it in the future.

GOALS AND DREAMS These are questions about the things that inspire you and light you up as well as the things you’re working toward in your life.

MEMORIES AND THE PAST What made you who you are? These questions re-flect on your formative experiences—both the victo-ries and the difficulties. (Handle with extra care!)

VALUES AND BELIEFS What’s important to you? How do you experience the world? Learn more about your value system and core beliefs with these questions.

PASSION AND INTIMACY Here we explore both the physical and emotional sides of sex. With these questions, set this intention: The closer you get to your partner, the more fun you’ll have. If the word “intimacy” freaks you out a little, don’t worry—for now, you can call it “sexy time” or anything else that feels more you.

COMMUNICATION Are we going to talk about talking? We are! The questions here will also cover nonverbal communi-cation—which, as we all know, can be the best kind.

JUST FOR FUN You know those fun questions you see on social media, like “What was your favorite movie when you were 12?” Those types of questions will be in this category.

Remember, there is no wrong way to use this book—but there is a best way. The best way to use this book is to view these questions as an opportunity to listen with an open heart. Declare the time you spend answering these questions a no-judgment zone and practice being honest, loving, and vulnerable with each other. 

Let’s use the previous Just for Fun question as an example.

What was your favorite movie when you were 12?

Star Wars: The Phantom Menace

Singin' in the Rain

An openhearted, no-judgment response would be: “That’s fasci-nating! Why did you love it?”

A totally judgmental response would be: “Really? Of all the movies in the world, you picked that one?”

Do not do this. Ever. Period. Even for The Phantom Menace.Here is why this is important: Judgment and criticism are rela-

tionship killers. Humans are hardwired to seek safety and avoid

danger, and because judgment and criticism represent danger to the human brain, any answer you criticize will make your partner’s brain shut down. Your partner will freeze and not want to continue.

Conversely, when you practice openhearted curiosity, you’ll help make your partner feel safe. This increases the likelihood that they’ll want to share more.

If you do have an intense reaction to one of your partner’s responses, the best thing to do is pause, take a slow, deep breath to relax your nervous system, and get curious. Curiosity is like fertilizer—it will always make your relationship stronger and help it grow.

So remember: Openhearted curiosity—YES. Judgment and criticism—NO.

Now enjoy learning more about yourself, your partner, and your relationship with these 400 questions.

What about your partner inspired you to want to get to know them better when you first met?

Describe your dream house. Is it big or small? In a city or somewhere rural?

What is the first trip you remember taking as a kid?

What is a hobby you wish you had time for?

What are three cities you would love to visit? What appeals to you about them?

While growing up, what did money mean to you? What does it mean to you now?

What is more valuable to you: a $10,000 increase in pay or an extra week off and no late hours?

What is one of your favorite sexual memories with your partner?

Would you rather spend money on a big vacation or save for a dream house? (Check one.)□ □

■ Big vacation all the way! □

■ A dream house is forever.

■ Big vacation all the way!

■ A dream house is forever.

If you could time travel, would you go back into the past or forward into the future? (Circle one.)

PAST FUTURE

PAST FUTURE

Which will get you further in life: book smarts or street smarts? 

What is the role of spirituality or faith in your relationship with your partner?

What is one feeling you’d love to experience every day?

When you achieve a goal, what’s a meaningful way to celebrate?

What is your favorite holiday memory from childhood?

In what part of your life do you feel the most confident? In what part do you feel the most insecure?

You can either go to space for one day or travel on a world cruise for a whole year. Which one do you choose?

I think public displays of affection are fun and romantic, and I enjoy them. (Circle one.)

YES NO

YES NO

You have the opportunity to take a dream trip somewhere your partner has no interest in visit-ing. Do you go without your partner? (Circle one.)

YES NO

YES NO

Music was better when I was growing up than it is now. (Circle one.)

TRUE FALSE

TRUE FALSE

Want 380 more in depth

relationship questions?

Order the full Questions for Couples Journal by Maggie

Reyes on Amazon now!

https://amzn.to/2IsXKxO

about the author

MAGGIE REYES is a life coach and marriage mentor who specializes in helping driven, ambitious women create the marriages of their dreams. Her playful and practical approach to love and marriage takes the prin-ciples of cognitive psychology and luxury hospitality and uses them to teach her clients the most effective ways to break destructive patterns

and develop the mindsets and habits that make relationships thrive. Maggie lives in Miami with her husband, Mariano, whom she met on Christmas Day. If you want to learn how to stop doing the things that poison the love in a relationship and start doing the things that make love stronger, you can find the tools to start becoming your best loving self at MaggieReyes.com.