body language ii

Body Language IIAdvanced

Dr.V. Veera Balaji KumarSoft skills Trainer

Cygmax institute of management studies

Body language in communication

What is body language?

Body language is the communication of personal feeling, emotion, attitudes and thoughts through body movements.

In other words it is the way people unconsciously show their private thoughts and emotions through body movements.

Why learn body language ?

• Our ability to use body language in a positive way and to read other people's minds through their body language can boost our interpersonal skill.

• and can be a powerful tool to our overall personality development

Reading others like a Book

• Suggesting Interest• Indications that they're more open to agree

with you• Indications that they are thinking• Indications that they are frustrated/ dismayed• Indications whether they Are Action-Oriented

Reading a person contd…

• Indications that they are defensive/hiding something

• Indications of boredom• Signals conveying excitement or interest• Signals exhibiting confidence/authority/power• Signals of anger/resistance

Reading a person contd…

• Signals of nervousness/tension• Signals made when they are

doubting/suspecting you• Signals made when they need reassurance• Indications of pride• To know when they are lying

Gesture• Yawning• Tuning up the nose• Crossing the legs above the knee• Sitting on the wedge of the chair• Scratching the head• Crossing the arms at the chest• Biting the lower lip• Tapping the foot• Clenching the hands• Rubbing the eyes• Placing hands on the hips• Pointing the index finger

Yawning Yawning is a response to a wide variety of response to a wide variety of stimuli, including sleepiness, awakening hunger, boredom, nervousness and inter cranial diseases. There are several causes of yawning:Psychological, including boredom, drowsiness, fatigue, separation hormonal, due to the actions of ACTH and MSH; neurological, as a result of various brain pathologies, psychiatric, for example, schizophrenia, psychosis, depression and withdrawal; general pathologies, including ear disorders, gastric and biliary disorders and motion sickness; drug overdose such as naloxone, valproate, imipramine, clomipramine, serotonin, and phenobarbitol; and drug withdrawal, from heroin, morphine, lefetamine, methadone and pentazocin.

Scratching the headIndications That They Are Frustrated/ Dismayed

This gesture clearly indicates that the person is frustrated by some loss or disappointed.

Mouth covering

• He may be lying • He may be unsure of

what he is saying • He may want to suppress

a feeling • It is just a habit and

doesn’t mean anything

Arms

• Cross or folded arms• Arm gripping • Arms behind the

back

Hiding something they don’t want others to find out

Eye contact

Eye contact shows our self confidence and any of our personality traits.

o Types of looking Direct lookThe sidelong glance The concentrated gaze The blank stare Blinking

Hand signals

• Limp hands• Relaxed hands• Restless hands• Clenched hands

Finger movements

• Pointing the index finger• Steeling• Thump gesture• Cracking of knuckles

BODY LANGUAGE - II

Different gestures and postures

Our face is the most expressive part of our body. There Six universal facial expressions are

HAPPINESS, SADNESS, SURPRISE, FEAR, ANGER AND DISTRUST.

Each of this expression is accompanied with a combination of recognizable mouth and hand gestures

The face

• Smiling and frowning are the two major facial expressions.• Different types of facial expressions• Indicate our respect for others• Reflect our interest in someone or something • Transit out positive attitude about people and things• Convey our ambition as professionals• Express our compassion for our co-worker, family and

friends.• Reveal the kind of personality we possess.

Which is which ?

Which smile is genuine ?

Disgust

Distress / Pain / Suffering

• Putting object in the mouth (under pressure, taking his time, wants more information)

• Touching the lip (relieve anxiety, boredom, excitement, fear, horror or uncertainty)

• Scratching the neck (psychological discomfort, )• Rubbing the eye (doubtful or telling lie)• Rubbing the nose (hiding the truth) • Putting the hand on the cheek (Deep thinking, attention / interest)• Stroking the chin (during decision making & evaluating process)• Head in hand (despair / loss / prolonged thinking / boredom)• Hands behind the head (Feeling confident / superior about something)

“associated with professionals”• Hands on hips (Readiness / ability to do a job) “associated with achiever”

Handshakes (gesture of welcome)

• Dominance • Submission• Equality

Three main attitudes depending on the approach.

Styles of hand shake

• Firm hand shakes• Glove hand shakes• The knuckle grinder hand shakes• The stiff arm hand shakes• The arm pull hand shakes• The double handed handshakes• The grasp

Double handshake

How to shake hands

• Shake hands firmly • Never hold longer than

few seconds• Wipe your hands so

that they are not moist

Gestures to be avoided

• Pointing at others• Touching others to emphasize a point• Being too familiar• Invading people’s personal space

Styles of sitting

• The Lincolnesque position - Sitting in a chair with both feet planted firmly on the floor and apart, and arms resting flat on the arm of the chair signifies a open mind

• Sitting on the edge of the chair - Compromise, co-operate, agree or accept• Leg over the arm of the chair - Relaxed, open, co-operative and informal• Straddling the chair - Dominance or aggression• Rocking or swinging in the chair - Full control of the situation and confident

that situation will favor him• Fidgeting - Move restlessly• Upper body - Show of self confidence• Lower body - It sends a message of I don’t want to be here.

CORRECT POSTURE - It is important to lean slightly towards a person in order to show that one is interested and involved

Crossing the legs above the knee

Indicate Defensiveness

The Boss (Bore) and his victim

The buyer and the seller

Sitting on edge of chair leaning forward : Eagerness

Superiority feeling

Indifference or Casual approach

• Can be seen as a mark of disrespect.• Dominance or aggression• Arrogant attitude (sometime)

STRADDLING A CHAIRShows that a person is feeling safe, and is self -

confident. Can also show leadership.

Arms firmly gripping the chair crossed legs and stiff face.

Lincolnesque position

Signifies a open mind

Walking styles

• ARM SWINGING - Goal oriented and on a definite mission• HANDS IN A POCKET - Critical and secretive, they often criticize others• HANDS ON HIPS - Move without wasting time. Use sufficient means to

fulfill their goals in their shortest possible time.• MEDITATIVE WALK - Thinking about some problem may walk at a slow

pace with their heads down and hands clasped behind their back• CONFIDENCE WALK - The person walked with their chin raised, arms

swindling wildly, legs a bit stiff and the pace somewhat deliberate this style gives off confidence.

• LEADERSHIP WALK - They walk with deliberate steps, clearly showing that they ate headed towards specific goal

• PACING - Walking with measured steps targeting the goal, • SWAGGER - Exaggerated Arm swinging style of walking

Arms behind the back

Contemplation

HANDS ON HIPS

Move without wasting time. Use sufficient means to fulfill their goals in their shortest possible time.

MEDITATIVE WALK - Thinking about some problem may walk at a slow pace with their heads down and

hands clasped behind their back

STRUT: to walk somewhere with big steps in a proud way

CONFIDENCE WALK -

The person walked with their chin raised, arms swindling wildly, legs a bit stiff and the pace somewhat deliberate this style gives off confidence

BODY LANGUAGE to be interpreted as positive and genuine

• Most important to be NATURAL – Always stand erect and walk with shoulders back and stomach in making people to recognize self-confidence, awareness and enthusiasm.

• NON-VERBAL behaviors to be avoided. If you do not wish to show lack of self confidence, such as

Hunching the shoulders Slouching in a chair Leaning forward with the head resting on

one of the hands Constantly shifting position while sitting

or standing

Positive and Negative Traits

Positive Traits

Arms relaxed – Sign of openness Gesturing warmly / talking with hands - shows involvement

in the conversation and openness to the other person Good eye contact – shows interest Leaning closer – shows interests are up and barriers are down Nodding agreement – show there are no barriers to

communication Smiling / adding humor – signals a warm personal

relationship.

Negative Traits

Arms behind the head / leaning back - shows desire for control and power

Arms folded in front – creates barrier and shows resistance to conversation

Blank stares / flipping through literature without reading – shows distraction

Fidgeting or moving restlessly in the chair – shows boredom, nervousness / impatience

Negative Traits

Hand on face / leaning on elbow with chin in hand / Yawning / Chewing gum – shows boredom

Trying to interrupt the speaker by opening the mouth to speak – shows impatience

Leaning away – avoiding moving closer is very negative

Shaking the legs – shows restlessness Sitting with an arm dropped along the back of the

chair – shows defensive

To Convey Positive Messages

• Avoid closed gestures• Avoid fidgeting or letting your eyes wander• Maintain eye contact• Maintain good posture• Nod agreement and occasionally express it

verbally to reinforce the nods• Smile

To Convey Positive Messages• Keep your fingers and hands away from your

mouth while speaking and listening to others• Do not tap your fingers on the table / any

surface• Start and end your day with positive attitudes• Display confidence and enthusiasm in your

movement gestures and postures• Rise to great people when they enter the room.

It show that you have good manners

Don't Jump to Conclusions

• Be aware of the body language, but also combine your observations with the spoken words to get more hints regarding the inner feelings of another.

• Constantly touching the mouth may indicate lying, although the real reason might just be that the mouth is itching

• Judgment based more than two gestures can be dependable