Bereavement following meningitis leaflet

Bereavementfollowing meningitis

How we can support you

Bereavement and griefBereavement describes the state of loss and the time spent adjusting to life without your loved one. Grief represents the physical, emotional and social upset and changes that happen during bereavement.

Grief is a natural response to losing someone close, and affects everyone in different ways. You can experience many different physical symptoms, such as headaches, a hollow feeling in your stomach, breathlessness, a dry mouth, physical pain, complete numbness or extreme exhaustion.

It is also natural to feel confusing and conflicting emotions, and experience some, or all of the following; guilt, anger, resentment, the need to blame, despair, disbelief, shock, intense sadness, loneliness and isolation. Crying is a natural way of releasing emotion, but grief can also cause disturbed sleep, changes in appetite and withdrawal from those around you.

Taking care of yourselfIt is important to acknowledge that grief is a natural response and there is no right or wrong way to grieve. During what may be the most difficult time of your life you may feel isolated and that no-one understands how you feel. You may find that some people will try and avoid you, because they are not sure what to say, are afraid of saying the wrong thing or feel unable to cope with their own sadness.

There is no set time limit for grief, despite what others may say. Remember to do things when you are ready to do them and when it feels right.

Friends and family will want to help, so try to accept their support; perhaps with practical, everyday jobs or to talk about what has happened. Together you can begin to share your precious stories and photographs to help you keep those memories alive. Remember also that some days you may want to be completely quiet and not want any company and it’s ok to feel like this.

If you are concerned about your health in any way you should always consult your GP.

The death of someone close from meningitis* will be traumatic, distressing and painful. This sudden loss can lead to confusion, feelings of isolation and disbelief. You may have many questions about what has happened and what to expect in the weeks and months ahead.

We are here to answer your questions, and offer our help and support.

Call our freephone helpline 0808 80 10 388.

Children and lossChildren also experience grief. They need honesty, information and involvement following the death of someone close. Excluding them at such a painful time may be seen as a form of protection, but it can lead to confusion and anxiety, and affect their ability to fully grieve.

Children need to feel that they can talk openly, so speaking to them in words they understand and listening to their thoughts and feelings is important. Sharing stories and photographs will help them keep their memories alive. Additional books and resources can be helpful to use together and we can help provide these. It is also important to inform school, so that pastoral support can be provided.

If a child’s grief is complex, then additional professional support like bereavement counselling or a creative therapy can be arranged.

*Meningitis is used to describe meningitis and septicaemia

How we can helpAlthough we can’t change what has happened, we can help support you during the difficult and painful times. Our helpline staff can listen to your concerns, talk to you about the support we offer and help you access our services.

Call 0808 80 10 388 / [email protected]

Our community support officers can make a home visit and will also continue to provide essential contact and support with you for as long as it’s needed. Our Founder Steve Dayman, whose son Spencer died in 1982, can also visit you to share his experience and offer compassion and understanding.

If you feel more professional support is needed we can make a referral to a counsellor who has experience of providing confidential, bereavement support.

This support will focus on the emotional trauma and the life changes that you will be experiencing. It can be reassuring to be reminded that grief affects people in different ways, and there is no right or wrong way to grieve.

“I couldn’t find a way to get over the pain of losing my son. I took up the Meningitis Now counselling service, and it was a great help to me.”

For children and young people who find it difficult to express their emotions, we can provide creative therapies, which encourage communication and interaction.

“Art therapy really helped my daughter to see how others can help her cope with the loss of her brother.”

Unexpected financial pressures, such as funeral costs and headstones, can be a huge additional burden. Our financial support grants can provide funding, helping reduce the associated stress and anxiety.

Sharing experiencesSpeaking to someone else bereaved through meningitis can also be helpful. This peer support is provided by our volunteers through telephone, email, Skype or personal support. This may be a short relationship or, for some, it can form a lasting bond. A peer support group may also be available in your area.

Our annual Forever Day brings together people bereaved by meningitis to provide information, support and a dedicated memorial service at the Woodland Memorial Garden, near Bristol.

Remembering someone specialMany families tell us it is a great source of comfort to have a particular place to remember and share their loss.

“When someone you love becomes a memory, the memory becomes a treasure.”(Anonymous)

A Forever Fund is a lasting way to remember someone special – a place where family and friends can share their precious memories and help raise vital funds at the same time.

If you would like any further information about Forever Funds, please contact:

01453 769082 [email protected] http://mnow.co.uk/ForeverFunds

Picture shows Meningitis Now memorial garden at our head office in Stroud, which you are welcome to visit at any time.

Meningitis Helpline0808 80 10 388 (UK)

Samaritans08457 90 90 90 (UK)**Call charges apply

www.MeningitisNow.org

Tel: 01453 768000Fax: 01453 [email protected]

Fern House, Bath Road, Stroud , Gloucestershire GL5 3TJ

© Meningitis Now March 2015 • Next review Sept 2016Registered charity number 803016 (England & Wales) SC037790 (Scotland)

References for content of this leaflet are available on our website.

Meningitis Now is the UK’s biggest meningitis charity.

We offer practical, emotional and financial support for all those living with the impact of the disease.

We can:

• Listen; and answer your questions about meningitis

• Talk to you about your individual experience and how we can help

• Visit you in your own home and provide support locally to you

• Put you in touch with others who have been through it too

• Provide financial assistance for unexpected costs following meningitis

• Support you and those closest to you; children, teenagers and adults

• Make you a priority; we have no waiting lists for our services.

We also raise awareness about meningitis and septicaemia, and fund research into the prevention and long-term impact of these diseases.