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Alfred Rosenberg's "Memoirs" Youth of an ideologist Early history of the Party Spiritual foundation for a thousand-year Reich Bearers of power Adolf Hitler, man and myth Minister for the East End of the Third Reich -- end of a career Rosenberg's Political Testament
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Alfred Rosenberg (Memoirs)

Oct 26, 2014

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Alfred Rosenberg's "Memoirs"Youth of an ideologist Early history of the Party Spiritual foundation for a thousand-year Reich Bearers of power Adolf Hitler, man and myth Minister for the East End of the Third Reich -- end of a career Rosenberg's Political Testament

Youth of an ideologist

Fo r 2 0 0 y e a rs a ft e r t h e b e g in n in g o f t h e 1 8 t h c e n t u ry , t h e Ba lt ic u m h a d b e e n u n d e r Ru s s ia n c o n t ro l. Mo s t s o le m n ly Cz a r P e t e r h a d g u a ra n t e e d t o t h e Ge rm a n s t h e ir s p e c ia l p riv ile g e s fo r a ll t im e , a fa c t w h ic h c a u s e d m a n y o f t h e la t e r d iffe re n c e s b e t w e e n t h e Ba lt s a n d t h e Ru s s ia n g o v e rn m e n t . Th e m a jo rit y o f t h e Cz a rs w e re b e n e v o le n t - - a n d t h e ir re a lm c e rt a in ly p ro fit e d b y t h a t b e n e v o le n c e - - u n t il a g ro w in g S la v o p h ilis m b e g a n t o o p p o s e w e s t e rn is a t io n , a n d p ro c e e d e d w it h p a rt ic u la r h a rs h n e s s a g a in s t Ba lt s a s t h e p ro t a g o n is t s o f t h is le a n in g t o w a rd t h e w e s t . A w a v e o f Ru s s ific a t io n e n s u e d . P ro fe s s o rs w h o h a d t a u g h t in Ge rm a n w e re fo rc e d t o le a rn Ru s s ia n d u rin g t h e ir s u m m e r v a c a t io n s . Th e h a rb in g e rs o f t h e c o m in g o p p re s s io n ru s h e d o v e r t h e la n d . Ho w e v e r, t h e s e e a rly s t o rm s d ie d d o w n a g a in . I n s p it e o f e v e ry t h in g t h e Ru s s ia n d e t e rm in a t io n a c c o m p lis h e d , a t ru e fo u n d a t io n w a s s t ill la c k in g , n a m e ly a re a lly Ru s s ia n p o p u la t io n . As a s u b s t it u t e la rg e Ru s s ia n g a rris o n s a n d g ro u p s o f g o v e rn m e n t o ffic ia ls w e re b ro u g h t in . Bu t m o re o ft e n t h a n n o t t h e o ffs p rin g o f t h e s e fu n c t io n a rie s s im p ly b e c a m e Ba lt s .

My e a rlie s t m e m o ry o f m y g ra n d fa t h e r is a b ro wn t o p h a t wit h wh ich I a lwa ys wa n t e d t o p la y, s o m e t h in g h e la u g h in g ly p e rm it t e d . He s t a n d s b e fo re m y m in d 's e ye a s a t a ll o ld m a n in a b ro wn d re s s in g g o wn , s h a rp fe a t u re s a n d a s m a ll m o u t h , wit h n a rro w e ye s t h a t lo o ke d a lit t le t ire d .

My g ra n d fa t h e r n o lo n g e r h a d s u fficie n t m o n e y t o p e rm it m y fa t h e r t o s t u d y. Th u s h e e n t e re d life a s a m e rch a n t 's a p p re n t ice a n d b e ca m e , a ft e r a co m p a ra t ive ly s h o rt p e rio d , t h e h e a d o f t h e Re va l b ra n ch o f a rich Ge rm a n co m m e rcia l h o u s e .

Wh e n , la t e r o n , I b e ca m e a ct ive in Ge rm a n y, I wa s a m a ze d a t t h e e ve r p re s e n t o p p o s it io n t o t h e t e a ch e rs . In m a n y o f m y fe llo w s t u d e n t s t h is b ro ke t h ro u g h q u it e o p e n ly a n d cra s s ly. In t h e yo u t h m o ve m e n t , t h e Pro f wa s re fe rre d t o wit h g re a t a ce rb it y. Of o u r o wn t e a ch e rs a t t h e s a m e t yp e o f s ch o o l in Re va l I ca n o n ly s p e a k wit h t h e g re a t e s t re s p e ct .

Pe t e rs e n wa s a n a t u ra lis t . He o wn e d a la rg e b u t t e rfly co lle ct io n , wro t e o n t h e g e o lo g ica l h is t o ry o f Es t o n ia , a n d co rre s p o n d e d wit h m a n y o f t h e s cie n t ific in s t it u t e s o f t h e Re ich . I b e lie ve it wo u ld h a ve b e e n e a s y fo r h im t o h a ve o b t a in e d a n a p p o in t m e n t in Ge rm a n y. Bu t h is lo ve fo r t h e h o m e la n d , a n d p ro b a b ly t h e fe e lin g t h a t h e wa s m o re in d e p e n d e n t t h e re , h e ld h im b a ck. His o n ly s o n , h o we ve r, wa s s e n t t o Je n a wh e re

Ha e cke l a n d Eu cke n we re m a kin g t h is u n ive rs it y wo rld fa m o u s . Th is s o n d ie d s h o rt ly a ft e r h e h a d fin is h e d h is s t u d ie s .

A s m a ll t h in m a n n e q u in wit h a t re m e n d o u s m o u s t a ch e a n d a b e a rd , t h e s e n s e o f d u t y p e rs o n ifie d , wh o p re s u p p o s e d in u s b o ys p ra ct ica lly S p a rt a n virt u e s . Fro m b e h in d t h e p in ce - n e z wh ich h e n e ve r t o o k o ff, d a rk b lu e e ye s lo o ke d s t e rn ly o u t a t t h e cla s s . His d e live ry wa s wit h o u t wa rm t h , b u t e a s ily u n d e rs t o o d a n d t o t h e p o in t , s o t h a t we ca rrie d h o m e , if n o t e n t h u s ia s m , a t le a s t kn o wle d g e . Ho we ve r, S p re cke ls e n co n t a in e d h im s e lf s t rict ly wit h in t h e fra m e wo rk o f e ve ryd a y d is co u rs e s , a n d n e ve r we n t b e yo n d a n u n q u e s t io n e d re h a s h in g o f Ru s s ia n co n ce p t s . Ou r o fficia l h is t o ry t e xt b o o k wa s h is s t a n d a rd , t o o . Bu t a ft e r t h e b e ll t o lle d , h e s p o ke Ge rm a n ; a n d t h o u g h h e n e ve r p a t e rn a lly p a t t e d u s o n t h e s h o u ld e rs , h e co n ve rs e d wit h u s a s if h e we re t a lkin g t o u n d e rs t a n d in g a d u lt s . We fe lt fo r h im n o p a rt icu la r re ve re n ce , b u t n e ve r d e n ie d h im o u r co m p le t e re s p e ct . His fre e t im e wa s d e vo t e d t o t h e ca re o f t h e Re va l Mu s e u m a n d o t h e r h is t o ric in s t it u t e s . On ce h e a s ke d if a n yo n e ca re d t o a cco m p a n y h im o n a p re h is t o ric e xp e d it io n . I vo lu n t e e re d wit h t wo o f m y fe llo w s t u d e n t s . In a g ra ve ya rd we d is co ve re d a n d e xca va t e d a s t o n e u rn . We a ls o u n e a rt h e d s o m e p it ch e rs , a rm le t s , a n d rin g s . Fo r t h e firs t t im e S p re cke ls e n t o ld u s a b o u t t h e g re a t m ig ra t io n s o f n a t io n s t h a t h a d t a ke n p la ce lo n g b e fo re t h o s e re co rd e d in writ in g .

I wa s p ro m o t e d e ve ry ye a r a n d wa s PRIMVS ( cla s s p re s id e n t ) u p t o m y s e n io r ye a r. A PRIMVS in o u r s ch o o l wa s n o t t h e s t u d e n t wit h t h e h ig h e s t g ra d e s . Ot h e rs we re m u ch b e t t e r a t t h a t s o rt o f t h in g t h a n I. A b o y wa s m a d e PRIMVS b e ca u s e t h e a u t h o rit ie s e xp e ct e d h im t o b e a g o o d in flu e n ce o n t h e re s t o f t h e cla s s . As PRIMVS I h a d t h e ke ys t o t h e ca b in e t wh e re e xa m in a t io n p a p e rs , ch a lk a n d s o o n we re ke p t . I u s e d it a ls o t o h id e m y o wn t e xt b o o ks in b e ca u s e I wa s t o o la zy t o ca rry t h e m h o m e . Fo r a n y o f t h e o ra l e xa m s I s im p ly s t u d ie d d u rin g re ce s s . On ly t h e m o s t im p o rt a n t t h in g s we re t a ke n ca re o f a t h o m e . As a n e t re s u lt I wa s n o t ve ry g o o d in m a t h e m a t ics . My fe llo w s t u d e n t s o ft e n h e lp e d b y e xp la in in g t h in g s t o m e , a n d I re m e m b e r wit h p a rt icu la r g ra t it u d e t h e Po le , Ts ch e s ke s s ki, wh o h e lp e d m e s o lve m a n y a n a lg e b ra p ro b le m . Du rin g t h e re g e n t s e xa m I, in t u rn , d ict a t e d h is Ge rm a n t h e s is t o h im . Du rin g a ll t h o s e ye a rs I a lwa ys fe a re d t h a t s o m e d a y a t e rrib le e xp o s u re wo u ld ce rt a in ly co m e . Bu t in t h e e n d e ve ryt h in g t u rn e d o u t a ll rig h t .

In m y cla s s , co n s is t in g o f a b o u t fo rt y p u p ils , t h e re we re fo u r Ru s s ia n s , t h re e Po le s , t wo g e n u in e Es t o n ia n s a n d t wo wh o la t e r p o s e d a s s u ch . All t h e re s t we re Ba lt s . I d o n o t re m e m b e r t h a t we e ve r h a d h e a t e d n a t io n a lis t ic d is cu s s io n s . Wit h t h e Ru s s ia n s we t a lke d Ge rm a n o r Ru s s ia n , a s t h e ca s e m ig h t b e , a n d t h e s a m e wit h t h e Po le s . Th e t wo Es t o n ia n s , fo r re a s o n s o f t h e ir o wn , ke p t t o t h e m s e lve s . Bu t co n flict s t h a t m ig h t we ll h a ve b e e n p o s s ib le n e ve r o ccu rre d . In s p it e o f t h e n a t io n a lis t ic a t t it u d e o f t h e co u n t ry it s e lf, o u r s ch o o l re m a in e d a n e xe m p la ry o a s is o f p e a ce fo r t h e yo u t h s o f s u ch va rie d n a t io n a l o rig in s . Th is s t ill s t rike s m e a s b e in g s o m e t h in g p le a s a n t a n d p ro m is in g .

Th e b a t t le t h e s e ch ild re n a n d t h e ir h o rs e Be g a rd wa g e d a g a in s t Ch a rle m a g n e im p re s s e d m e g re a t ly, b u t I wa s e s p e cia lly t o u ch e d b y t h e fa t e o f t h e h o rs e it s e lf. Th e n o b le a n im a l wo u ld n o t s in k e ve n u n d e r t h e h e a vie s t lo a d . As lo n g a s h is m a s t e r ke p t o n lo o kin g a t it , t h e b e a s t co u ld a lwa ys h o ld it s e lf a b o ve wa t e r. Bu t t h e n Re in h o ld wa s fo rce d t o t u rn h is t e a r- fille d e ye s a wa y, a n d Be g a rd s a n k. I crie d wh e n I t h u s firs t d is co ve re d h o w fid e lit y is re wa rd e d in t h is wo rld . An d n o w wh e n I re m e m b e r t h a t q u ie t , g re a t e xp e rie n ce o f m y yo u t h , t e a rs a g a in ru s h t o m y e ye s , a n d n o t m e re ly b e ca u s e o f Be g a rd 's fa t e .

He re , a n d la t e r a ls o in t h e s u b u rb o f Re va l wh e re s h e live d , Hild a ca m e in t o m o re im m e d ia t e co n t a ct wit h Ru s s ia n cu s t o m s t h a n I, a n d a cce p t e d t h e m wit h a p p ro p ria t e s ym p a t h y. Be s id e s , s h e h a d a n a d o p t e d s is t e r, Jo h a n n a , wh o , a t t h e Pe t e rs b u rg Aca d e m y o f Art , h a d m e t a n d m a rrie d t h e s o n o f t h e Re ct o r. Th is a s s o cia t io n a ls o h e lp e d h e r t o b e co m e a cq u a in t e d wit h t h e Ru s s ia n s . To b e s u re , t h e o p in io n s o f t h is m a n we re q u it e re vo lu t io n a ry, s o t h a t t h e d iffe re n t ia t io n b e t we e n Ru s s ia a n d t h e h a t e d Cza ris t re g im e b e ca m e e ve r m o re p ro n o u n ce d . Pro vo ke d b y t h e s e t h e o rie s , I re a d To ls t o y's Wa r a n d p e a ce a n d An n a Ka re n in a . Th e y im p re s s e d m e g re a t ly a n d re m a in e d fo r m e t h e g re a t n o ve ls o f Eu ro p e a n lit e ra t u re . In t h e co u rs e o f t im e I h a d a ch a n ce t o vis it Hild a . S h e p la ye d fo r m e - - s h e p la ye d we ll e ve n t h e n - - Ru s s ia n co m p o s it io n s : Bo ro d in a n d Rim s ky- Ko rs a ko v. Th e s e , t o o , we re b e a u t ifu l a n d g ra t ifyin g , s o in a ro u n d a b o u t wa y I le a rn e d m o re a b o u t Ru s s ia t h a n m o s t o t h e r Ba lt s d id d u rin g t h e s e ye a rs .

On e d a y Hild a b ro u g h t a b o o k t o t h e t ra in wh ich I s im p ly h a d t o re a d . It wa s Nie t zs ch e 's Za ra t h u s t ra . I im m e d ia t e ly t rie d t o a b s o rb t h e e n t ire wo rk, b u t s o m e t h in g a b o u t it s t ru ck m e a s a lie n . Th a t wa s , a s I re a lis e d la t e r, t h e o ve rly p a t h e t ic, e ve n t h e a t rica l e le m e n t wh ich , t o m e , a p p e a re d wilfu l ra t h e r t h a n p e rfe ct . I t h e n re a d t wo b o o ks a b o u t t h e a u t h o r. Eve n t h e s e d id n o t e n lig h t e n m e a n y fu rt h e r. S o I re t u rn e d Za ra t h u s t ra s o m e wh a t s h a m e fa ce d ly.

An a rt is t ic s u cce s s o f m y o wn ca m e d u rin g m y s e n io r ye a r. In Wo e s s o I h a d p ra ct is e d d ra win g , n o t o n ly wit h p e n cil b u t wit h ch a lk o n g re y a rt p a p e r; t h e h ig h lig h t s we re t o u ch e d u p wit h wh it e . In t h is wa y t h e s t ro ke o f t h e p e n cil d id , in d e e d , lo s e s o m e o f it s im m e d ia cy, b u t t h e fin is h e d p ro d u ct , in t u rn , g a in e d p la s t icit y. No w I im p u d e n t ly s ke t ch e d t h e co t t a g e o f Pe t e r t h e Gre a t . In t h e ce n t re , t h e s u n lit h o u s e , t h e wa lls b ro u g h t o u t in wh it e , t h e ro o f t ile s d o n e in p a le cin n a b a r. As a s t u d y it wa s n o t t o o b a d . In t h e g re a t h a ll o f t h e s o - ca lle d fire h o u s e , a ll t h e s t u d e n t s ' d ra win g s we re e xh ib it e d a n d we re vie we d b y In s p e ct o r Kru t ch e n ko a m o n g o t h e rs . He like d m y d ra win g s o we ll t h a t h e d e cla re d it co u ld n o t p o s s ib ly h a ve b e e n d o n e b y a s t u d e n t wit h o u t t h e a id o f t h e t e a ch e r. In a n y ca s e , h e h a d it g o rg e o u s ly fra m e d a n d p re s e n t e d t o t h e s e n io r cla s s . Wh e n , a t t h e o cca s io n o f a vis it t o Re va l a s Re ich Min is t e r fo r t h e o ccu p ie d e a s t e rn t e rrit o rie s , I in q u ire d a b o u t t h e d ra win g . I le a rn e d t h a t it wa s s t ill t h e re . Th a t wa s t h irt yt wo ye a rs la t e r.

Th e s o cia l ce n t re o f t h e Ge rm a n s wa s t h e Rifle m e n 's Pa rk, a la rg e , fe n ce d - in g a rd e n a t t h e ce n t re o f t h e cit y, wit h re s t a u ra n t s , t e n n is co u rt s , a n d s o o n , b e lo n g in g t o t h e t h re e Ge rm a n co rp s . Th is wa s a re n d e zvo u s fo r a ll Ge rm a n yo u t h , d u rin g t h e s u m m e r in t h e p a rk, d u rin g t h e win t e r in t h e b a llro o m . Ad m is s io n wa s o n ly o n a p a s s , s in ce t h e Rifle m e n 's Gu ild , a s t h e o wn e r, h a d a rig h t t o s e le ct it s g u e s t s . Th is fa ct , h o we ve r, g a ve t h e wh o le t h in g b o t h a n a t io n a lis t ic a n d a ca s t e - like ch a ra ct e r wh ich wa s u n d o u b t e d ly n o t e d b y t h e o t h e rs wit h s lig h t ly m ixe d fe e lin g s . Rig a 's s o cie t y d e fin it e ly fe lt m o re a d va n ce d t h a n t h a t o f Re va l. Wh e re a s t h e fo rm e r wa s d o m in a t e d la rg e ly b y u n ive rs it y p ro fe s s o rs , t h e la t t e r wa s d o m in a t e d b y m e re h ig h s ch o o l p rin cip a ls . Rig a s t u d e n t s we re n o t a t a ll like d in Re va l. Th e n o b ilit y in p a rt icu la r wa s co n s id e re d e s p e cia lly o ve rb e a rin g . Th e t e n s io n b e t we e n t h e b a ro n s a n d t h e b o u rg e o is in Rig a wa s fo r t h is re a s o n q u it e a p p a re n t , e xce p t a m o n g t h o s e wh o h a d in t e rm a rrie d wit h t h e n o b ilit y, o r wh o co n s id e re d a n in t im a t e a s s o cia t io n wit h it a d is t in ct io n .

Ho we ve r, it co u ld n o t b e d e n ie d : wh a t wa s clo s e s t t o m y h e a rt - - a rt a n d p h ilo s o p h y - - h a d t h e s h o rt e n d o f t h is s o rt o f s t u d e n t 's life .

Lo o k h e re , Fre d , wh e n we s u d d e n ly d is a p p e a re d d u rin g t h e re vo lu t io n , a n d wh e n we re t u rn e d a ft e rwa rd s , we we re u n a b le t o wo rk. We h a d t o a g re e a m o n g o u rs e lve s t o e d u ca t e t h e yo u n g e r p e o p le like yo u rs e lf in o rd e r t o ra is e a n o t h e r g e n e ra t io n o f Ba lt s fo r o u r h o m e la n d . I ca n u n d e rs t a n d yo u , b u t yo u t o o m u s t u n d e rs t a n d . Yo u h a ve s p e n t ye a rs in t h e ir co m p a n y, a n d t h e y h a ve g ive n yo u a g re a t d e a l. Yo u h a ve b e e n a cce p t e d in t o t h e ir co m ra d e s h ip , s o m e t h in g t h a t m a y b e a h e lp t o yo u fo r t h e re s t o f yo u r life . Do yo u re a lly wa n t t o le a ve n o w? Wh a t wo u ld h a p p e n t o o u r h o m e la n d if a ll o f u s t h o u g h t a s yo u d o ?

I fa ce d t h e d e cis io n o f m y life . S t u d y in Ge rm a n y m e a n t fre e d o m a n d b ro a d e n in g o f h o rizo n s , b u t a ls o lo s s o f m y Ru s s ia n cit ize n s h ip . At h o m e , ca m a ra d e rie , ye s ; b u t n a rro wn e s s , e ve n t h o u g h it wa s h o m e . Wh a t t o ch o o s e ? Wo u ld I h a ve ch o s e n d iffe re n t ly h a d I ke p t s ile n t a n d h a d m y e ld e r b ro t h e r n o t s h o wn m e m y o b lig a t io n t o wa rd m y h o m e la n d ? I s h o o k h is h a n d . Yo u a re rig h t ; I wo u ld b e u n g ra t e fu l; I'll s t a y. I re t u rn e d t o t h e u n ive rs it y a n d a s ke d t h e firs t s e cre t a ry t o re t u rn m y re s ig n a t io n .

S h e h a d fin a lly co n vin ce d h e r p a re n t s t h a t h e r d e cis io n h a d b e e n rig h t . Th e y re a lis e d it in d ica t e d a s e rio u s will t o wo rk; a n d s o Hild a re t u rn e d t o Pa ris . S h e t o o k d a n cin g le s s o n s fro m t h e we ll- kn o wn Pro fe s s o r La n d o s s e , a s we ll a s rh yt h m ic g ym n a s t ics . Ju le s d 'Ud in e , a frie n d o f Da lcro ze , wa n t e d t o m a ke h e r a p ro fe s s io n a l d a n ce r. S h e h a d lo o ke d in t o t h in g s o f wh ich I a s ye t h a d n o t e ve n b e co m e a wa re . I wa s s t ill a fre s h m a n , u n fo rt u n a t e ly fo rce d t o t a ke p a rt in a ch ild re n 's b a lle t , a n d , cla d in a m e d ie va l u n ifo rm , t o h e lp re p re s e n t t h e p e o p le in Wa lle n s t e in 's ca m p .

In t h e m e a n t im e Hild a h a d b e co m e a fa vo u rit e p u p il o f Ju le s d 'Ud in e a n d wa s a s s is t in g h im in h is t e a ch in g . I wa t ch e d h im o n ce in a n a m p h it h e a t re - s h a p e d b u ild in g . His rh yt h m ic m e t h o d s e e m e d a n e xce lle n t wa y t o g a in co n t ro l o ve r t h e b o d y; t o wa rd o t h e r a p p lica t io n s o f it , h o we ve r, I re m a in e d co ld . Wh e t h e r rig h t ly s o , I a m u n a b le t o s a y. At t h e Ca f d e la Ro t o n d e , o n t h e co rn e r Ra s p a il- Mo n t p a rn a s s e , wh e re I b re a kfa s t e d d a ily a n d wh e re t h e a rt is t s o f t h e vicin it y m e t , t h e a t m o s p h e re wa s a lwa ys co n g e n ia l. At t h a t t im e it wa s s t ill a co m fo rt a b le o ld Fre n ch p la ce , n o t t h e m o n s t e r it t u rn e d in t o la t e r. Hild a 's n a m e wa s a lre a d y fa irly we ll kn o wn ; t h e Ru s s ia n Ba lle t h a d a p p ro a ch e d h e r re g a rd in g a p o s s ib le t o u r. Th u s I g a in e d a n in s ig h t in t o Hild a 's wo rk a n d wo rld . As fo r t h e fu t u re , I wa s s u re we wo u ld fin d a wa y t o g e t h e r.

Th a t t h e p ro m is e o f Pe t e r t h e Gre a t , g u a ra n t e e in g t h e Ba lt s t h e ir p rivile g e s fo r a ll t im e , co u ld n o t b e t a ke n a n y t o o lit e ra lly in t h e fa ce o f d e ve lo p m e n t s , m u s t h a ve b e e n o b vio u s e ve n t o t h e m o s t s t u b b o rn la n d - h o ld e r. Ne ve rt h e le s s t h e Ba lt s we re p e rfe ct ly ju s t ifie d in t h e ir cla im t h a t t h e y h a d a rig h t t o b e h e a rd in co n n e ct io n wit h ce rt a in ch a n g e s , a n d in t h e ir re fu s a l t o b e t h e o b je ct s o f fre q u e n t , p u re ly in n e r, p o lit ica l a t t a cks .

Th e re t re a t o f t h e Ru s s ia n a rm ie s fro m Ge rm a n y fo rce d t h e g o ve rn m e n t t o t ra n s p la n t im p o rt a n t in d u s t rie s o n a la rg e s ca le . My fa t h e r- in - la w's ca n n in g fa ct o ry h a d t o m o ve t o S t . Pe t e rs b u rg . Th e t e ch n ica l u n ive rs it y a ls o h a d t o g o . Fo r it s n e w lo ca t io n Mo s co w h a d b e e n s e le ct e d . It wa s s u p p o s e d t o m o ve wit h a ll it s m a t e ria l p o s s e s s io n s , a ll it s b o o ks , a n d t h e e n t ire s t u d e n t b o d y, t o t h e ce n t re o f p rim o rd ia l Ru s s ia . Wh ile t h e s e t ra n s h ip m e n t s we n t o n we re t ire d t o t h e co u n t ry fo r t h e s u m m e r. We fo u n d s h e lt e r a n d b o a rd wit h t h e le s s e e o f a n e s t a t e . On ce a g a in I wa s a b le t o re a d a n d p a in t in p e a ce . In 1 9 1 2 , I h a d re ce ive d a s a g ift Ch a m b e rla in 's Go e t h e . To m e it s e e m e d t h e b e s t t h in g Ch a m b e rla in h a d e ve r writ t e n . I re a d t h e e n t ire b o o k t o Hild a , wh o lis t e n e d p a t ie n t ly t o m u ch t h a t ca n n o t b e g ra s p e d im m e d ia t e ly.

Th a t fa ll s h e jo in e d h e r p a re n t s in S t . Pe t e rs b u rg , a n d I we n t t o Mo s co w. Th u s m y h o m e va n is h e d b e h in d m e . Wa r a n d re vo lu t io n t o s s e d p e o p le a n d fa t e s a b o u t . In m y h e a rt re m a in e d t h e lo ve fo r t h e h o m e la n d wh ich live d o n , u n co n ce rn e d wit h h u m a n d e s t in y.

In a ll h o n e s t y I m u s t co n fe s s t h a t t h e s o cia l q u e s t io n in Ru s s ia d id n o t b e g in t o in t e re s t m e u n t il m u ch la t e r. In t h e b e g in n in g I s im p ly s a w t h e b ig cit y q u it e in n o ce n t ly t h ro u g h t h e e ye s o f a yo u n g m a n - - n o t e d it s p a la ce s a n d g a lle rie s , a n d wa s h a rd ly a wa re , in s p it e o f 1 9 0 5 , o f h o w fa r a d va n ce d t h e in t e rn a l cris is a lre a d y wa s . On ly t h e o u t b re a k o f t h e wa r b ro u g h t t h e re a l s it u a t io n t o m y a t t e n t io n . Th e re we re t u m u lt s s h o rt ly b e fo re t h e wa r, o ve rt u rn e d t ro lle y ca rs a n d s t re e t b ra wls . Wh e t h e r t h e s e we re is o la t e d in cid e n t s o r p a rt o f a p la n n e d co n s p ira cy, I ca n n o t s a y. Th e y s t o p p e d wh e n t h e

Cza r m a d e a n a p p e a l fo r g e n e ra l u n it y b e fo re a n im m e n s e cro wd t h a t s a n k o n it s kn e e s in fro n t o f h is p a la ce a n d p ra ye d fo r Ru s s ia . Fro m a ch ild le s s co u p le I h a d re n t e d a ro o m clo s e t o t h e s u b u rb s wh e re s o m e o f m y fe llo w s t u d e n t s live d . It wa s a ra t h e r s im p le a b o d e fa cin g a co u rt , b u t q u it e co m fo rt a b ly fu rn is h e d . Th e m a n wo rke d s o m e wh e re in a s t o re . Th e wo m a n , a s is t h e cu s t o m in Ru s s ia , s e rve d m e t e a e ve ry m o rn in g a n d e ve n in g . S in ce I h a d t o h u s b a n d m y m e a n s - - Rig a h a d co s t m o re t h a n a n t icip a t e d - - we a t e d in n e r wit h a Ru s s ia n fa m ily. At a t a b le co ve re d wit h o ilclo t h in a ro o m t h a t a ls o s e rve d a s a b e d ro o m , we h a d s o u p a n d wh a t e ve r e ls e h a p p e n e d t o b e a va ila b le . On ce e ve ry we e k, h o we ve r, we we n t t o t h e ce n t re o f t h e cit y a n d h a d a re a l d in n e r wit h p a s t rie s s u ch a s o n ly t h e Ru s s ia n s ca n m a ke . S o m e t im e s we we re a b le t o b u y b e e r - t wo p e rce n t b e e r. At t e n o 'clo ck e ve ryb o d y wa s re a d y fo r b e d . Occa s io n a lly we lis t e n e d t o m u s ic a t t h e S a vo y, a h o t e l o f o ld - fa s h io n e d m a g n ifice n ce ; o t h e rwis e we s a t a ro u n d in ch e a p re s t a u ra n t s a lo n g t h e Tve rs ka ya . Re a l co m ra d e s h ip wa s , o f co u rs e , o u t o f t h e q u e s t io n . On ly s m a ll g ro u p s livin g clo s e t o e a ch o t h e r, o r m e e t in g a t s ch o o l, g o t t o g e t h e r re g u la rly. Th e Rig a Te ch n ica l Co lle g e wa s h o u s e d in s e ve ra l d iffe re n t b u ild in g s , s o t h a t it wa s o ft e n n e ce s s a ry t o m a ke lo n g t rip s t o g e t fro m o n e le ct u re t o t h e o t h e r. S o m e o f t h e cla s s e s fo r d ra ft s m e n we re t e m p o ra rily h e ld in h a llwa ys , a n d t h e s t re e t ca rs we re a lwa ys cro wd e d . I p a rt icu la rly like t o re m e m b e r o n e la rg e d ra win g o f t h e Fre ib u rg Ca t h e d ra l wh ich I co p ie d fro m a s m a ll o rig in a l. All t h e we a lt h o f t h is e d ifice I t ra ce d lo vin g ly wit h a h a rd p e n cil. We d id a g re a t d e a l o f d ra win g a n d p a in t in g fro m m o d e ls . Th is wa s n o t e n o u g h fo r m e , s o I t o o k a d d it io n a l p riva t e le s s o n s in p o rt ra it u re . I fo u n d t h a t I wa s u n a b le t o d o a p o rt ra it q u ickly, b u t t h a t t h e re s u lt s we re p a s s a b le o n ly if I h a d t im e e n o u g h t o co n ce n t ra t e . Wh ich s o o n s a t is fie d m e . Th e m e rch a n t S h t ch u kin wa s a Ma e ce n a s fo r m o d e rn p a in t in g . He m u s t h a ve g o n e t o Pa ris re g u la rly, fo r h is villa , wh ich co u ld b e fre e ly vis it e d , wa s fille d wit h e ve ry co n ce iva b le p ro d u ct o f Fre n ch a rt : Pica s s o , Gu rin , a n d e s p e cia lly He n ri Ma t is s e . Th e la t t e r h a d a n e n t ire ro o m t o h im s e lf. Ch ie fly s t ill- life s . Qu it e lig h t : wh ich , b lu e , p in k, wit h o cca s io n a lly in t e re s t in g co lo ra t io n , s m o o t h ly a n d a b ly p a in t e d ; b u t a lt o g e t h e r, m e re s u rfa ce a n d a s t ra in in g fo r e ffe ct . Gre a t a rt co u ld n o t p o s s ib ly b e a ch ie ve d in t h is wa y. Mo s t ch a ra ct e ris t ic, t o m y m in d , wa s t h e o b vio u s ly re vo lu t io n a ry m o o d . Th o u g h t h e y a ll s e we d s h irt s fo r s o ld ie rs , t h e y we re s u re t h a t m o s t o f t h e s e g ift s n e ve r re a ch e d t h e rig h t a d d re s s , b u t we re d ive rt e d a n d s o ld in s t e a d . Th e y s wo re , fo r e xa m p le , t h a t m a rke rs t h e y t h e m s e lve s h a d s e we d in we re o ft e n fo u n d o n t h in g s t h e y la t e r b o u g h t in t h e o p e n m a rke t . Th e a d o le s ce n t b ro t h e r cla im e d t o b e a m e m b e r o f t h e Ca d e t s . In fa ct , la rg e p a rt s o f t h e m u n icip a l in t e llig e n t s ia d id b e lo n g t o t h a t o rg a n is a t io n wh ich wa s we ll s u p p o rt e d b y t h e p re s s . Un s a t is fa ct o ry t h o u g h Go rki's Nig h t - lo d g in g h a d o n ce s e e m e d t o m e , wh e n it wa s p e rfo rm e d h e re it s h o we d u p h u m a n m is e ry a n d s u ffe rin g , in t h e ve ry m id s t o f wh ich t h e re wa s a g a in a n d a g a in a ra y o f re n e we d h o p e , o f b e lie f. Th a t , t o o , is p a rt o f life , m o re t h a n m o s t o f u s t h in k. My la n d lo rd o cca s io n a lly in vit e d m e t o t e a . Wit h t h e g re a t lib e ra l Mo s co w p a p e r, Ru s ko ye S lo vo , a lwa ys b e fo re h im , h e in va ria b ly re fe rre d t o t h e g o ve rn m e n t a s t h o s e ru lin g s co u n d re ls . In o t h e r wo rd s , a m o n g t h e lo we r m id d le cla s s e s , t o o , o n e h e a rd ve ry o u t s p o ke n re fe re n ce s t o a n in s t it u t io n wh ich , wh ile re s t in g o n a g re a t t ra d it io n , h a d t u rn e d in t o s o m e t h in g t h a t e ve ryb o d y h a d b e g u n t o fin d re p u ls ive . Ou t s id e o f m y wo rk, t h e s u b u rb o f S h e d n ya o ffe re d m e ye t a n o t h e r s o la ce : Go e t h e . B. h a d a b e a u t ifu l e d it io n o f h is co lle ct e d wo rks . No w I p icke d u p vo lu m e a ft e r vo lu m e . On ce a g a in , Po e m a n d t ru t h a n d Wilh e lm Me is t e r; t h e n t h e s cie n t ific e s s a ys , a n d e s p e cia lly t h e Fa rb e n le h re . Fro m m a n y o f h is wo rks I co p ie d e xce rp t s in a n o ilclo t h - co ve re d m e m o - b o o k wh ich I la t e r re re a d fre q u e n t ly wit h g re a t e n jo ym e n t . Th e n ca m e a lo n g lis t o f Ba lza c's n o ve ls , s in ce I h a d d is co ve re d t h a t , in o rd e r p ro p e rly t o a p p re cia t e t h is m a n , o n e ca n n o t re ly o n s in g le wo rks , b u t s im p ly m u s t re a d t h e e n t ire Co m d ie Hu m a in e t o fe e l t h e wh o le

im p a ct o f h is a cco m p lis h m e n t . Ba lza c wro t e m u ch cla p t ra p ; h e fre q u e n t ly h a d t o wo rk fo r b re a d , a n d s o o ft e n co n co ct e d m u ch wh ich h is o wn b e t t e r ju d g e m e n t wo u ld h a rd ly h a ve p a s s e d . Bu t Ba lza c wa s a d e m o n ia ca l a rt is t e q u a lle d b y fe w o t h e r n o ve lis t s . Th e n ca m e To ls t o y a n d Do s t o ye vs ki. Th e le t t e rs b y t h e a u t h o r o f Wa r a n d p e a ce g re a t ly d is a p p o in t e d m e . Wa s t h is t h e s a m e m a n ? Ha d n o t a n e n t ire ly d iffe re n t o n e ris e n fro m h is in n e rm o s t co re t o d a m n Eu ro p e 's a rt a n d cu lt u re , ye s , e ve n it s wo rk? An d , wit h a l, we re n o t h is t h e s e s a lwa ys co n fin e d t o t h e s a m e n a rro w circle o f co n s t a n t ly re p e a t e d a rg u m e n t s ? S o u l- s h a kin g , o n t h e o t h e r h a n d , wa s t h e Bro t h e rs Ka ra m a zo v, t h a t p o we rfu l d e s crip t io n o f t h e Ru s s ia n p ro vin ce s , ye s , a n d in m a n y in s t a n ce s o f t h e Ru s s ia n s o u l it s e lf. Wh e re s h o u ld o n e s e cu re a n in s ig h t in t o t h e s o u l o f a n o t h e r p e o p le if n o t fro m a g re a t a n a lys e r o f s o u ls ? Th u s I re a d wit h p a rt icu la r in t e re s t t h e Dia ry o f a writ e r, wh ich g ive s a p re cis e a n a lys is o f Do s t o ye vs ki's o wn p o lit ica l a n d s o cia l o p in io n s . S t . Pe t e rs b u rg a n d it s Ba lka n p o licy o f t h e d a y, Ru s s ia 's m is s io n in Eu ro p e , Bis m a rck's p o licie s , t h e life o f t h e Ru s s ia n in t e llig e n t s ia a n d t h e Ru s s ia n p e a s a n t s . All t h is g a ve a g o o d p ict u re o f t h e a t t it u d e o f Do s t o ye vs ki wh o , d e s p it e h is o n e - s id e d n e s s , wa s o n e o f t h e g ia n t s o f h is p e o p le . S id e b y s id e wit h a ll t h is we n t m u ch e ls e , s o m e o f it a ccid e n t a l, s o m e o f it s e a rch e d o u t , s o t h a t I m ig h t b e p e rm it t e d t o s a y t h a t n e ve r b e fo re h a d I b e e n a s im m e rs e d in wo rk a n d re a d in g a s in S h e d n ya n e a r Mo s co w in 1 9 1 6 - 1 7 .

At t h is t im e t h e Ru s s ia n Re vo lu t io n o ccu rre d . If I a t t e m p t e d t o g ive h e re a d e s crip t io n o f it s ca u s e s a n d t h e fo rce s in vo lve d , I'd ru n t h e ris k o f in clu d in g kn o wle d g e wh ich I a cq u ire d o n ly m u ch la t e r t h ro u g h t h e m e m o irs o f Ru s s ia n s a n d En g lis h m e n ( Bu ch a n a n , h is d a u g h t e r, a n d S ir S a m u e l Ho a re ) . Wh a t I kn e w a t t h e t im e wa s p rim a rily t h a t t h e Cza ris t re g im e , d u e t o t h e m a n y fa ilu re s o f t h e Ru s s ia n t ro o p s , b e ca m e e ve r m o re is o la t e d . Th e re we re ru m o u rs t h a t Ru s s ia n s o ld ie rs we re fo rce d t o a t t a ck wit h s t icks in s t e a d o f g u n s in t h e ir h a n d s , t h a t in t h e Ca rp a t h ia n Mo u n t a in s t h e y h a d b e e n s e n t b o o t s wit h p a p e r s o le s , a n d s im ila r t h in g s . Ru s s ia n in d u s t ry wa s u n a b le t o m e e t t h e re q u ire m e n t s o f t h e g re a t wa r; t ra ffic b e ca m e s n a rle d ; g e n u in e s u p p o rt o n t h e p a rt o f t h e p e o p le wa s la ckin g , in s p it e o f t h e p ro t e s t a t io n s o f e ve n t h e lib e ra l- re vo lu t io n a ry p a rt y t h a t t h e y we re re a d y t o fig h t t h e wa r t o a vict o rio u s e n d . Am o n g t h o s e fig h t in g a g a in s t Cza ris m t h e Ca d e t s we re t h e o n e s wh o wa n t e d t o s t a y in t h e wa r a lo n g s id e t h e ir En t e n t e a llie s b e ca u s e t h e y fe a re d t h a t , in t h e fa ce o f t h e g e n e ra l s it u a t io n , a s e p a ra t e p e a ce fo r Ru s s ia wo u ld d e p rive t h e Re vo lu t io n o f m o s t o f it s im p e t u s . In h is g re a t win t e r s p e e ch o f 1 9 1 6 t h e ir le a d e r, Milyu ko v, o p e n ly a t t a cke d t h e s in is t e r fo rce s a t co u rt , m e a n in g Ra s p u t in a n d t h e a d vo ca t e s o f a s e p a ra t e p e a ce wit h Ge rm a n y. He wa s a n s we re d s t iffly b u t s h re wd ly b y t h e Co n s e rva t ive , Ma rko v, wh o p re d ict e d t h e m o s t t e rrib le co n s e q u e n ce s fo r Ru s s ia if a ch a n g e in t h e t ra d it io n a l re g im e o ccu rre d . Milyu ko v's b a n n e d s p e e ch wa s s e cre t ly p rin t e d a n d d is t rib u t e d t h ro u g h o u t Ru s s ia , t h o u g h it m u s t b e a d m it t e d t h a t Ma rko v's s p e e ch a cco m p a n ie d it . I wa s a b le t o lo o k o ve r b o t h o f t h e m in E. 's h o u s e . Th e o rg a n is a t io n fo r t h e ir d is t rib u t io n wa s b a s e d o n t h e e xis t in g lo ca l re lie f o rg a n is a t io n s . Go ve rn m e n t o fficia ls we re u n a b le t o m a s t e r u n a id e d t h e p ro b le m s p o s e d b y t h e wa r, s o t h e Cza ris t re g im e , willy- n illy, h a d t o d e p e n d u p o n h e lp fro m t h e co u n t ry a t la rg e a n d fro m lo ca l a d m in is t ra t io n s . No w t h is g re a t ch a rit a b le o rg a n is a t io n , t h ro u g h it s le a d e rs , b e ca m e t h e s p e a rh e a d o f t h e d e m o cra t ic- re vo lu t io n a ry m o ve m e n t . Th e ir p re s id e n t , Prin ce Lvo v, in d u e co u rs e b e ca m e t h e h e a d o f t h e firs t re vo lu t io n a ry g o ve rn m e n t . Mo s co w it s e lf u n d e rs co re d it s b e llig e re n t a t t it u d e b y o s t e n t a t io u s ly h o n o u rin g t h e Brit is h Am b a s s a d o r wh o , if m e m o ry s e rve s m e co rre ct ly, a t t h is o cca s io n re ce ive d t h e fre e d o m o f t h e cit y. In co n t ra s t t o t h e a p p a re n t va cilla t io n in

S t . Pe t e rs b u rg , Mo s co w t h u s t rie d t o p ro ve it s e lf t h e re a l ca p it a l, t h e t ru e h e a rt o f Ru s s ia . I d id n o t wit n e s s t h e firs t d a ys o f t h e s u cce s s fu l Ma rch u p ris in g . No d o u b t , lo n g s u p p re s s e d p u b lic o p in io n b o ile d o ve r. S t ra n g e rs e m b ra ce d a n d co n g ra t u la t e d e a ch o t h e r. Th e n e w g o ve rn m e n t is s u e d a n a p p e a l fo r n a t io n - wid e u n it y. Bu t it s o o n b e ca m e a p p a re n t t h a t , t h o u g h t h e y a ll we re o p p o n e n t s o f t h e o ve rt u rn e d re g im e , t h e y we re fa r a p a rt in t h e ir p o lit ica l a n d s o cia l d e m a n d s . Th e p ro vis io n a l g o ve rn m e n t d e cla re d t h a t a Na t io n a l As s e m b ly wo u ld m a ke t h e d e cis io n re g a rd in g t h e fu t u re fa t e o f t h e co u n t ry. Th e va rio u s p a rt ie s we re g ive n a fre e h a n d wit h t h e ir p ro p a g a n d a . An d e ve n n o w t h e firs t n e ws p a p e rs o f t h e o p p o s it io n b e g a n t o p u t in a n a p p e a ra n ce . Wit h s o m e d is m a y I re a d t h e Fo rwa rd n e ws p a p e r. Th e vit u p e ra t io n s t h e y in d u lg e d in m a d e a lm o s t a n yt h in g like ly t o h a p p e n , s in ce n o co n s id e ra t io n wh a t e ve r wa s g ive n t o Ru s s ia 's a ct u a l p o s it io n . Wit h a l, t h is p a p e r wa s m e re ly t h e vo ice o f t h e S o cia l De m o cra t s , in o t h e r wo rd s , n o t ye t t h a t o f Co m m u n is m wh ich , in d u e t im e , in it s o rg a n Pra vd a , d e m a n d e d a ll p o we r fo r t h e g ra d u a lly d e ve lo p in g Wo rke rs ' a n d S o ld ie rs ' Co u n cils . Bu t a b o ve e ve ryt h in g - - p e a ce ! Th is b e ca m e t h e s lo g a n fo r m illio n s , m u ch s t ro n g e r in it s a p p e a l t h a n a ll t h e s p e e ch e s a b o u t t re a t y o b lig a t io n s , wa r u n t il vict o ry, a n d s o o n . La t e r o n I a ccid e n t a lly o ve rh e a rd a co n ve rs a t io n b e t we e n t wo Ru s s ia n o ffice rs in a ra ilwa y ca r o n t h is t o p ic. Th e o n e s a id re s ig n e d ly: Wh a t d o yo u wa n t ? A s o ld ie r t h in ks p rim it ive ly: wh a t g o o d d o e s m y n e wly wo n fre e d o m d o m e if I ca n 't e n jo y it ? S o - - h o m e a s q u ickly a s p o s s ib le a n d m a ke s u re t h a t m y fre e d o m is n 't t a ke n a wa y a g a in . . . . .

At t h is t im e I b e g a n t o wo rk fo r m y d ip lo m a in e a rn e s t . In Rig a a h illy p lo t o f la n d h a d b e e n s e t a s id e fo r a cre m a t o ry. Th is I wa s t o t a ke a s t h e p ro p o s e d t e rra in u p o n wh ich t o b a s e m y d e s ig n . Th e t e ch n ica l p re re q u is it e s we re q u ickly e n o u g h e s t a b lis h e d , a n d I we n t t o wo rk. It t u rn e d in t o a ce n t ra l h a ll, wit h Ro m a n e s q u e va u lt s a n d a la rg e co lo n n a d e , a s we ll a s a n a d jo in in g g ra ve ya rd . S o fa r a s t h e a ct u a l co n s t ru ct io n a n d wo rk we re co n ce rn e d , t h is p ro b le m wa s n o t a p a rt icu la rly d ifficu lt o n e . Bu t wh o , in t h e s e d a ys , wa s a b le t o t h in k o f a re a lly g re a t t a s k! Th u s m y wo rk p ro ce e d e d u n t il I h e a rd t h a t Hild a wa s ill. S h e we n t t o t h e Crim e a t o re cu p e ra t e , a n d wro t e m e fro m t h e re . Th e a ir o f S t . Pe t e rs b u rg h a d b e g u n t o h a ve it s e ffe ct , a n d t h e g ro win g s ca rcit y o f fo o d h a d d o n e t h e re s t . I d e cid e d t o in t e rru p t m y s t u d ie s a n d re s u m e t h e m a g a in in t h e fa ll. At t h e e n d o f t h e s e m e s t e r I we n t t o t h e Crim e a m ys e lf. Th e wa y le d t h ro u g h t h e Ukra in e . En d le s s fie ld s , t re m e n d o u s p la in s . Yo u fe lt t h e wh o le im m e n s it y o f t h e Ea s t e rn la n d in yo u r o wn b o d y, s o t o s p e a k, a s yo u t ra ve lle d in t o t h is in fin it y.

Fro m S im e is I wa t ch e d t h e wh o le p o lit ica l a n d m ilit a ry t u rm o il wit h g re a t in t e re s t . It b e ca m e e ve r cle a re r t h a t Ke re n s ki wo u ld b e u n a b le t o ke e p t h e a ro u s e d s p irit s in ch e ck m u ch lo n g e r. Th e d e s ire t o re t u rn h o m e h a d t a ke n h o ld o f t h e Ru s s ia n s o ld ie r; e n t ire d ivis io n s fe ll a p a rt a n d d is a p p e a re d . Th e re we re re p o rt s o f d e s p e ra t e a t t e m p t s t o fo rm a ce n t re o f re s is t a n ce m a d e u p e n t ire ly o f o ffice rs . Ce rt a in ly, d e s p e ra t e s a crifice s we re b e in g m a d e . Bu t in va in . In va in , t o o , we re Ke re n s ki's s p e e ch e s ; e ve n h is ch a rg e t h a t t h e s e s o ld ie rs we re , a ft e r a ll, n o t t h e b a n n e r ca rrie rs o f fre e d o m b u t m e re ly m u t in o u s s la ve s , fa ile d t o m a ke a n im p re s s io n . Ca m e a re p o rt t h a t Ge rm a n t ro o p s h a d la n d e d o n s e l. Th e n e ve n I b e g a n t o d o u b t t h a t I co u ld s t a y in t h e Crim e a a n y lo n g e r. I we n t t o t h e co m m a n d a n t t o g e t a la is s e z- p a s s e r fo r Re va l. To jo in m y fa m ily, I t o ld t h e o ffice r. He re p lie d : I'd like t o g o m ys e lf! In S t . Pe t e rs b u rg , p o lit ica l t e n s io n , fre q u e n t

d ifficu lt y in s e cu rin g fo o d . Th e b re a d co n t a in in g a g re a t d e a l o f s t ra w. In Re va l we live d a t firs t wit h o u r Au n t Lyd ia ( we h a d b e e n lo n g s in ce fo rce d t o s e ll o u r o ld h o u s e ) , la t e r in t h e e va cu a t e d fu rn is h e d a p a rt m e n t o f a d e p a rt e d Ru s s ia n e n g in e e r. Hild a 's h e a lt h g re w wo rs e , t h e d o ct o r d ia g n o s e d t u b e rcu lo s is . To b e d im m e d ia t e ly, o r e ls e yo u ca n o rd e r a co ffin ! Th is wa s t e rrib le ; a n e w wo rry t h a t wa s n e ve r t o e n d . Hild a la y in b e d a n d wa s s p o ile d . I re a d t o h e r, ke p t o n wo rkin g fo r m y d ip lo m a , p a in t e d p ict u re s a ft e r s t u d ie s I h a d m a d e in S h e d n ya , o r e ls e I we n t b a ck t o t h e o ld co u rt ya rd s a n d a t t ics o f Re va l a n d d re w s u b je ct s we ll kn o wn t o m e o f o ld . In Ru s s ia , co m m u n is m wa s vict o rio u s o ve r t h e a t t e m p t t o cre a t e a d e m o cra t ic re p u b lic. I wo u ld b e lyin g if I we re t o s a y t h a t I u n d e rs t o o d t h e im m e n s e co n s e q u e n ce s o f t h is o ccu rre n ce . On t h e co n t ra ry, I wa s o f t h e o p in io n t h a t in t h e lo n g ru n t h e co m b in e d t ro o p s o f t h e Ru s s ia n g e n e ra ls wo u ld e ve n t u a lly b e vict o rio u s o ve r t h e u n o rg a n is e d Bo ls h e vik re g im e n t s . Bu t wh a t wa s la ckin g wa s a le a d e r, a s lo g a n fo r t h e fu t u re ; fo r t h e re t u rn o f t h o s e wh o h a d b e e n o ve rt h ro wn , n o b o d y wa n t e d t o fig h t . An d Ho ly Ru s s ia , fo r wh o m s o m a n y in t h e s o u t h s t ill d id fig h t , wa s a s ym b o l, t o b e s u re , b u t o n e t h a t in t h e s e d a ys o f re vo lu t io n a ry u p h e a va l n o lo n g e r ca rrie d e n o u g h we ig h t . In Re va l t h e re wa s s t ill co m p a ra t ive q u ie t , b u t e ve rywh e re s o ld ie rs ' co u n cils u n d e r t h e d o m in a t io n o f s a ilo rs . All e xit s fro m t h e cit y b a rre d ; in o t h e r cit ie s t h e s a m e . I le a rn e d t h a t a frie n d h a d m a n a g e d t o g e t t o s e l b y b o a t fro m Ha p s a l. I we n t t o t h e s a ilo rs ' h e a d q u a rt e rs a n d a s ke d fo r a la is s e z- p a s s e r t o Ha p s a l. I wa s re fu s e d ; e ve n t h e ro u b le fa ile d . Le t m e a d d h e re t h a t I d id n o t p u t t o o m u ch e n e rg y in t o t h is a t t e m p t , fo r wh a t wa s I t o d o wit h m y wife ? Th e re wa s s t ill h o p e , a ft e r a ll, t h a t t h e Ge rm a n s wo u ld m a rch in t o Es t o n ia . Bu t t h e ye a r p a s s e d a n d n o t h in g h a p p e n e d .

Bu t I fa ce d wh a t wa s fo r m e a d e cis ive ch a n g e . Th e wo rk fo r m y d ip lo m a wa s fin is h e d . Wa s I t o b re a k o ff a lm o s t s e ve n ye a rs o f s t u d y wit h o u t a fin a l e xa m in a t io n , o r wa s I t o u n d e rt a ke a t rip t o Bo ls h e vik Mo s co w in t h e b a re h o p e t h a t I m ig h t b e g ra n t e d , in t h e m id d le o f a s e m e s t e r, t h e p rivile g e o f p a s s in g m y s t a t e e xa m ? I d e cid e d in fa vo u r o f t h e la t t e r. Tra in s we re s t ill m o re o r le s s ru n n in g o n s ch e d u le , a n d I a rrive d s a fe ly in Mo s co w. Ma n y p ro fe s s o rs a n d fe llo w s t u d e n t s fro m Rig a we re m is s in g ; t h e y h a d b e e n a t h o m e wh e n t h e Ge rm a n s m a rch e d in . Ne ve rt h e le s s cla s s e s s t ill m e t , p ro fe s s o rs fro m Mo s co w h a vin g re p la ce d t h o s e fro m Rig a . Th e y we re b e n e vo le n t : t h e e xa m wa s p a s s e d . Dire ct ly a ft e rwa rd s I h a d a ve ry co rd ia l co n ve rs a t io n wit h Pro fe s s o r Kle in . He a s ke d m e q u it e s u d d e n ly: Wo u ld n 't yo u like t o s t a y o n in Mo s co w a s m y a s s is t a n t ? Un d e r d iffe re n t circu m s t a n ce s s u ch a n o ffe r wo u ld h a ve e n ra p t u re d a n y yo u n g a rch it e ct . To b e ca lle d , fre s h fro m t h e e xa m a n d o n t h e s a m e d a y, b y t h e e xa m in e r h im s e lf a n d o ffe re d a p o s it io n a s a rch it e ct fo r ce n t ra l Ru s s ia - - n o t h in g co u ld h a ve b e e n m o re a u s p icio u s fo r a ca re e r. Bu t I d id n 't h e s it a t e fo r a m o m e n t . I t h a n ke d h im ve ry m u ch , b u t I s im p ly h a d t o re t u rn t o Re va l. I le ft t h e s a m e e ve n in g . Ab o u t a fo rt n ig h t la t e r Ge rm a n t ro o p s m a rch e d in . Be fo re t h e n Re va l h a d s e e n d a n g e ro u s d a ys . Th e Re va l S o vie t p ro p o s e d t o fig h t t h e Ge rm a n s . Fe a r t h a t a rm e d b a n d s m ig h t ro b t h e ir h o u s e s p ro m p t e d t h e Ba lt s a n d Es t o n ia n s t o o rg a n is e a s e cre t h o m e g u a rd . Eve ry h o u s e fro m t h e n o n wa s g u a rd e d b y it s m a le in h a b it a n t s , e a ch ca rryin g a g u n . Th u s I m e t a g a in m y o ld t e a ch e r La ip m a n n wh o live d in t h e s a m e h o u s e wit h u s . Gro wn o ld , b u t s t ill t h e fie ry Es t o n ia n n a t io n a l re vo lu t io n a ry. On t h e e ve o f t h e o ccu p a t io n t h e re wa s a ru m o u r t h a t t h e s a ilo rs we re co m in g u p fro m t h e h a rb o u r. We s t o o d a ro u n d o n t h e s t re e t in g ro u p s . Bu t t h e t h re a t p a s s e d . On a cle a r, co ld win t e r m o rn in g Ge rm a n s o ld ie rs m a rch e d t h ro u g h t h e s u b u rb p a s t Cza r Pe t e r's m o n u m e n t . Th e y we re Ha n n o ve ria n ch a s s e u rs wit h t h e Gib ra lt a r s t rip e o n t h e ir s le e ve s . On b icycle s . Wh e re ro s e s s u d d e n ly ca m e fro m wa s a rid d le ; in a n y

ca s e , t h e Ge rm a n ch a s s e u rs we re s h o we re d wit h t h e m a n d we lco m e d wit h t e a r- fille d e ye s a s s a vio u rs o f a cit y in d ire d is t re s s . I s h o o k h a n d s wit h m a n y o f t h e m a n d a s ke d q u e s t io n s . Th e co m m a n d in g g e n e ra l, vo n S e cke n d o rff, re vie we d t h e p a ra d e . A n e w re g im e b e g a n in o ld Re va l. Bu t I h a d o n ly o n e t h o u g h t : if I h a d m a d e t h e re s o lu t io n t o g o t o Mo s co w o n ly t we n t y d a ys la t e r t h a n I d id , I wo u ld h a ve b e e n s t u ck in S o vie t Ru s s ia , wo u ld h a ve b e e n s u n k fo re ve r . . . . .

Aft e r a wh ile I we n t t o t h e co m m a n d a n t t o a s k wh e t h e r t h e y wo u ld a cce p t m e a s a vo lu n t e e r. I wa s t u rn e d d o wn - - a ft e r a ll, t h is wa s o ccu p ie d t e rrit o ry. Co u ld I g ive a n y re fe re n ce s in Ge rm a n y? No ? In t h a t ca s e it co u ld n 't b e d o n e . Th u s m y h o m e life we n t o n a t it s o ld p a ce . I wa s re s t le s s . To b e s u re , I d id m e e t s o m e o ffice rs a t t h e h o m e o f a la d y wh o live d in t h e s a m e h o u s e , a n d wit h t h e m I wa s a b le t o d is cu s s m a n y p ro b le m s , b u t a ll t h is co u ld n o t s a t is fy m e . Wh e n t h e Ge rm a n s ch o o ls we re o p e n e d I a p p lie d a t t h re e o f t h e m fo r a p o s it io n a s a rt t e a ch e r. As a n a rch it e ct I e n t e re d o n ly o n e co m p e t it io n . A fu rn it u re co m p a n y, we ll kn o wn fo r it s s p e cia lit ie s , h a d s t a rt e d a p rize co n t e s t fo r a s e t o f livin g ro o m fu rn it u re . S in ce I h a d n o t h in g t o d o a n ywa y I m a d e t wo s ke t ch e s a n d s u b m it t e d t h e m , wit h t h e re s u lt t h a t n o firs t p rize b u t t wo s e co n d p rize s we re g ive n , b o t h o f t h e m t o m e . Th e re wa s a ls o a n a rt e xh ib it io n t o wh ich I co n t rib u t e d d ra win g s fro m o ld Re va l, a lm o s t a ll o f wh ich we re s o ld . Th u s I e a rn e d a lit t le m o n e y, t h e o n e a n d o n ly t im e t h a t m y a rt is t ic a ct ivit ie s b ro u g h t in s o m e ca s h . In t h e m e a n t im e m y s ick wife h a d s e cu re d p e rm is s io n t o g o t o Ba d e n we ile r fo r t re a t m e n t s . I t a u g h t ra t h e r u n willin g yo u n g s t e rs t h e a rt o f d ra win g a n d we n t t o t e a ch e rs ' co n fe re n ce s , wh ile in t h e o u t s id e wo rld t h e Ge rm a n fa t e t o o k it s co u rs e wit h o u t o u r e ve n b e in g a wa re o f t h e m o s t d e cis ive ch a n g e s .

Wh e n I m e n t io n e d s o m e t im e a g o t h a t fo r o n e o f m y t e a ch e rs , a s fo r s o m a n y Ba lt s , We im a r wa s wh a t At h e n s h a d o n ce b e e n fo r We im a r, I m e re ly p a ra p h ra s e d t h e p rim a rily cu lt u ra l fe e lin g wit h wh ich a ll o f u s we re im b u e d . We h o n o u re d o ld Pru s s ia a n d Bis m a rck's e d ifice , a n d wa t ch e d t h e ris e o f t h e Re ich ; b u t s in ce t h e Ba lt s co u ld n o t a ct ive ly p a rt icip a t e in it , we co n ce n t ra t e d la rg e ly o n t h e p s ych o lo g ica l va lu e s o f t h e a rt s a n d s cie n ce s . Aft e r a ll, t h e Re ich wa s t h e b irt h p la ce o f Ge rm a n cu lt u re in it s e n t ire t y, a n d lo o ke d , a s e ve ryt h in g g re a t d o e s fro m a d is t a n ce , s t ill g re a t e r in it s p e rs o n a lit ie s a n d e ffe ct s . No w t h e Re ich wa s e m b ro ile d in t h e m o s t d e s p e ra t e b a t t le s a n d cris e s . I wa n t e d t o g o t h e re , ju s t t h e n , a ft e r m y re je ct io n b y t h e a rm y, in o rd e r a t le a s t t o s h a re Ge rm a n y's fa t e ; I d id n o t wa n t t o s t a n d a n y lo n g e r b e t we e n t h e fro n t s . Ca m e t h e co n d it io n s fo r a t ru ce t h a t t h re w m e in t o d e s p a ir. Ca m e t h e re vo lu t io n , t h e cra s h o f a n o ld h o u s e , t h e ris e o f m o s t s in is t e r fig u re s . In t h e a rm y o f o ccu p a t io n lit t le o f a ll t h e s e ch a n g e s wa s o u t wa rd ly n o t ice a b le . Ru m o u rs m a d e t h e ro u n d s . It b e ca m e e ve r m o re cle a r t o u s t h a t , a ll p ro t e s t a t io n s t o t h e co n t ra ry, t h e Ge rm a n a rm y wa s g e t t in g re a d y t o re t u rn h o m e . I wa s s t ill u n d e cid e d a s t o wh a t I s h o u ld d o . An e m p t ie d s p a ce in d ica t e d t h e p o s s ib le fo u n d a t io n o f a n in d e p e n d e n t s t a t e o f Es t o n ia o f u n p re d ict a b le s h a p e , p o s s ib le wit h t h e S o vie t s , o r e ls e a n im m e d ia t e a t t a ck b y t h e Bo ls h e viks o n Es t o n ia . I d id n o t in t e n d t o ca rry o n m y fu t u re life b e t we e n t h e fro n t s , p ro b a b ly a lt e rn a t e ly Es t o n ia n a n d Ru s s ia n . I wa n t e d t o g o t o t h e Re ich . No w n o h o m e la n d wa s h o ld in g m e

a n y lo n g e r, s in ce it wo u ld s o o n b e in a lie n h a n d s a n ywa y. I d ro ve t o t h e co m m a n d a n t a n d b e g g e d t h e o ffice r o f t h e d a y fo r a t ra ve l p e rm it t o Ge rm a n y. He a s ke d m e wh e t h e r I h a d e ve r wo rke d fo r t h e Ge rm a n s a n d m ig h t t h e re fo re e xp e ct t ro u b le a ft e r t h e Ge rm a n t ro o p s le ft . I m e n t io n e d m y p ro fe s s io n . It lo o ks s a d in Ge rm a n y, t o o , h e re m a rke d , b u t h e d id is s u e t h e p e rm it . Th e n h e s e n t fo r t h e re p re s e n t a t ive o f t h e S o ld ie rs ' Co u n cil. Th e m a n ca m e , s t o o d a t a t t e n t io n , a g re e d wit h t h e o ffice r, a n d I wa s t o ld t h a t if I wa n t e d t o g e t a wa y I'd h a ve t o le a ve t h a t s a m e e ve n in g wit h t h e m ilit a ry t ra n s p o rt fro m t h is o r t h a t s t a t io n a t e le ve n o 'clo ck s h a rp . Th is wa s o n No ve m b e r 3 0 , 1 9 1 8 . On ce I h a d p ict u re d a t rip in t o Ge rm a n y s o m e wh a t d iffe re n t ly - - a s a jo u rn e y in t o a g re a t co u n t ry fu ll o f e n e rg y, fu ll o f a m b it io u s , s t rivin g m e n ; a co u n t ry o f a rt a n d s cie n ce a n d t h e will t o live . No w I jo u rn e ye d in t o a b ro ke n life , in t o t h e m o s t t e rrib le co n flict b e t we e n p a rt ie s in t h e fa ce o f a cru e l p o lit ica l fa t e d ict a t e d fro m a b ro a d . An d ye t , e xa ct ly a t t h is h o u r t h e re wa s s o m e t h in g I wa n t e d t o fin d . Fro m a p ra ct ica l s t a n d p o in t I h a d p u t m y s t a ke o n ze ro ; b u t a t le a s t I h a d m a d e a d e cis io n in a t im e t h a t wa s g ro win g e ve r m o re ch a o t ic. On ce a g a in t h a t m ys t e rio u s s o m e t h in g ca lle d fre e will h a d e n t e re d t h e p ict u re . Wh a t if I h a d n 't ca s u a lly o ve rh e a rd t h e re m a rk o f a co lle a g u e a b o u t t h e s e t ra ve l p e rm it s ? If I h a d s a t a t a n o t h e r t a b le ? Wo u ld I s t ill h a ve g o n e t o t h e Ge rm a n co m m a n d a n t ? Th a t , o f co u rs e , is d ifficu lt t o s a y, e ve n t h o u g h I h a d co n s id e re d g o in g t o Ge rm a n y fo r a lo n g t im e . An d , a ft e r a ll, o t h e rs h a d h e a rd t h e s e id e n t ica l wo rd s , t o o , wit h o u t b e in g a ffe ct e d b y t h e m in t h e s a m e wa y. Th u s t h e re a l d e cis io n in t h e m id s t o f a ll kin d s o f ca u s a t ive m e ch a n ics h a d t o b e m in e a lo n e . Th e t ra in le ft Re va l. Be h in d m e Ru s s ia fe ll a wa y wit h a ll h e r m e m o rie s , wit h a ll h e r u n p re d ict a b le fu t u re ; b e h in d m e m y s t u d e n t d a ys in Rig a fe ll a wa y, a n d t h e ca m a ra d e rie o f t h e Pu lve rt u rm ( p o wd e r t o we r) ; b e h in d m e fe ll a wa y t h e cit y o f m y yo u t h wit h h e r t o we rs a n d o ld s t re e t s a n d a ll t h e m e n wit h wh o m I h a d o n ce live d t h e re . I le ft m y h o m e la n d b e h in d m e in o rd e r t o g a in a fa t h e rla n d fo r m ys e lf. It t o o k u s s e ve ra l d a ys t o re a ch Be rlin . S t ra n g e h o w e m p t y m e m o ry ca n b e s o m e t im e s , in s p it e o f a ll a t t e m p t s t o re m e m b e r ce rt a in d e t a ils . I ca n re ca ll n o s p e cific e p is o d e o f t h e t rip , n o co n ve rs a t io n . Th e la n d s ca p e p a s s e d b y s lo wly, t h e d a ys we re g re y a n d co ld , t h e t h o u g h t s clu n g t o t h e p a s t a n d we re b u s y wit h t h e fu t u re . We m e re ly s a w t o it t h a t o u r s t o ve wa s p ro vid e d wit h co a l; e ve n t h e o ld p a s t o r d id n 't co n s id e r it t h e ft wh e n we re p le n is h e d o u r s u p p lie s o cca s io n a lly fro m t h e p ile s a lo n g t h e ra ilro a d s t a t io n . Ho w we a t e I d o n 't q u it e re m e m b e r e it h e r. On ly t h is m u ch I re m e m b e r: t h a t o u r e n t ra n ce in t o Be rlin wa s s a d , t h a t t h e h o u s e s lo o ke d t wice a s g re y, a n d t h a t a t t h e e n t ra n ce t o o u r h o t e l re vo lu t io n a ry p a m p h le t s we re im m e d ia t e ly p re s s e d in t o o u r h a n d s . An d t h e n I s t ill h a d t im e t o e xp e rie n ce t h e m o s t m o vin g in t e rlu d e o f t h e s e d a ys : t h e re t u rn o f t h e Ge rm a n t ro o p s a lo n g Un t e r d e n Lin d e n . I h a d lit t le d ifficu lt y fin d in g ro o m t o s t a n d a t t h e cro s s in g o f Frie d rich s t ra e a n d Un t e r d e n Lin d e n . Th e y ca m e , s lo w a n d s e rio u s . Wit h fro ze n fe a t u re s t h e s o ld ie rs s a t o n t h e ir g u n ca rria g e s . Fro m a lm o s t a ll t h e b a lco n ie s a n d win d o ws wo m e n a n d ch ild re n we re wa vin g wh it e h a n d ke rch ie fs . A fe w a lm o s t in a u d ib le s h o u t s o f we lco m e - - a ll o f t h e m kn e w wh a t a n e n t ra n ce like t h is m e a n t . At t h a t m o m e n t t h e g re a t s o rro w o f t h e Ge rm a n p e o p le ca m e u p o n m e . Th is is a p ict u re I h a ve n e ve r fo rg o t t e n . La t e r I h e a rd t h a t a wh ile b e fo re Eb e rt a n d S ch e id e m a n n h a d t a lke d t o t h e s o ld ie rs o n Pa ris e r Pla t z. We b a ck t h e re co u ld n 't h e a r a n yt h in g s in ce lo u d s p e a ke rs we re n o t ye t in u s e a t t h a t t im e . Ye a rs a ft e rwa rd we h e a rd t h a t t h e co rp s o f Ge n e ra l Le q u is h a d b e e n s t a n d in g re a d y n e a r Be rlin wa it in g fo r a n o rd e r t o o ve rt h ro w t h e n e w g o ve rn m e n t . Bu t t h e o rd e r n e ve r ca m e . No r wa s t h a t a n a ccid e n t - - t h e re s im p ly wa s n 't a n yb o d y le ft wh o co u ld h a ve g ive n o rd e rs . Th u s I ca m e t o t h e Re ich . Orig in a lly a m a n co m p le t e ly d e vo t e d t o a rt , p h ilo s o p h y a n d h is t o ry, wh o n e ve r d re a m e d o f g e t t in g m ixe d u p wit h p o lit ics . Bu t I h a d o b s e rve d t h e p re s e n t , a n d t h a t t o o wo u ld b e h is t o ry s o m e t im e . I h a d s e e n m a n y fo rce s p u s h in g t o t h e fo re , a n d in Ru s s ia h a d wa t ch e d t h e co u rs e

o f a re vo lu t io n wh ich , in m y o p in io n , re p re s e n t e d a t e rrib le d a n g e r t o Ge rm a n y if, o n t o p o f a ll t h is t re m e n d o u s s o rro w, it e ve r h it t h e d e lica t e s t ru ct u re o f h e r in d u s t ry, co m m e rce , a n d p o p u la t io n . S o life p u lle d m e , a n d I fo llo we d . I s a w m ys e lf a m id s t t h e in t e rp la y o f fo rce s wit h a ll t h e ir co n fu s in g a s p e ct s . Th is wa s m y jo u rn e y t o Ge rm a n y in t h e d a rklin g No ve m b e r o f 1 9 1 8 .

Early history of the Party

I h a d b ro u g h t a lo n g m y g o o d p a in t b o x fro m Re v a l. I n m y b o a rd in g h o u s e I n o w p a in t e d fro m m e m o ry t h e e n la rg e d s k e t c h e s I h a d m a d e a t S h e d n y a . N o t w it h o u t s o m e n a v e t I t h o u g h t t h a t t h e y m ig h t fin d fa v o u r in s p it e o f t h e w o rrie s o f t h e d a y . I t o o k t h e m t o a b o o k - s h o p o n Od e o n s p la t z , b u t t h e y w e re re je c t e d a ft e r a m e re c u rs o ry e x a m in a t io n : t h e y h a d a ll t h e y w a n t e d o f t h a t s o rt o f s t u ff. W it h m y a rt ic le o n Fo rm a n d Fo rm in g in m y p o c k e t , I fre q u e n t ly lo it e re d a ro u n d t h e e n t ra n c e t o t h e p u b lis h in g h o u s e Ca llw e y , e v e n t h o u g h I re a lly w a n t e d t o t h in k it a ll o u t fo r m y s e lf b e fo re p u t t in g it u p fo r d is c u s s io n a n d p e rm it t in g it t o b e t a lk e d a b o u t t o s h re d s . I n o rd e r t o fa m ilia ris e m y s e lf w it h t h e g e n e ra l t re n d o f t h o s e d a y s , I a t t e n d e d a m e e t in g o f re v o lu t io n a ry a rt is t s h e ld a t t h e Ge rm a n Th e a t re . On t h e s t a g e , a t a b le fo r t h e c o m m it t e e . Th e m a in s p e e c h w a s m a d e b y s o m e o n e c a lle d S t c k g o ld , I n t h in k . He p ra is e d t h e t im e s w h ic h , h e s a id , w e re e v e n t h e n lib e ra t in g t h e a rt s , a n d g iv in g t h e c re a t iv e a rt is t h is c h a n c e . Bu t , t h e n , h a d n 't Mu n ic h a lw a y s b e e n t h e s p o t w h e re , a rt is t ic a lly s p e a k in g , a lm o s t a n y t h in g w a s p e rm it t e d a n y w a y ? He re t h e Art N o u v e a u h a d b e e n b o rn , a s w e ll a s t h e lit e ra ry c a b a re t , t h e S im p liz is s im u s , a n d W e d e k in d 's Th e s e v e n e x e c u t io n e rs lit e ra ry c a b a re t . Th o s e w h o w e re m e e t in g h e re w e re o b v io u s ly t h e a rt is t ic a lly s h o rt - c h a n g e d w h o h o p e d t o s e c u re fa m e a n d fo rt u n e b y rid in g a n e w w a v e . D u rin g t h e s p e e c h Ku rt Eis n e r a p p e a re d o n t h e s t a g e , w a s g re e t e d a s He rr Min is t e rp r s id e n t , a n d t o o k h is s e a t a t t h e t a b le . Th a t 's t h e o n ly t im e I s a w h im .

Ku rt Eis n e r W it h s h a g g y g re y h a ir a n d b e a rd , h is p in c e - n e z a s k e w . W h a t h is re a l n a m e w a s h a s n e v e r b e e n e s t a b lis h e d . He h a d b e e n a c o n t rib u t o r t o t h e Fo rw a rd m a g a z in e . As m e m b e rs o f t h e o p p o s it io n la t e r t o ld t h e s t o ry , t h e e n t ire e d it o ria l s t a ff h a d g o n e in t o c o n v u ls io n s w h e n t h e y h e a rd t h a t t h is m a n , o f a ll p e o p le , h a d b e c o m e P rim e Min is t e r o f Ba v a ria . N o w h e p ra is e d in t e rn a t io n a l Ma rx is m a n d t h e g re a t p a t rio t Cle m e n c e a u . Of t h e o t h e r s p e e c h e s I re m e m b e r n o t h in g ; t h e y w e re o n t h e s a m e s p irit u a l le v e l a s t h e a b o v e . Aft e rn o o n s I u s u a lly t o o k a w a lk t h o u g h t h e s t re e t s . On s u c h o c c a s io n s I s t u d ie d t h e a d v e rt is in g p illa rs t o s e e w h a t w a s p la y in g a t t h e v a rio u s t h e a t re s a n d t o k e e p p o s t e d o n o t h e r e v e n t s . Th e n o n e d a y I u n e x p e c t e d ly re a d : D a n c e s . Ed it h v o n S c h re n c k . Mis s v o n S c h re n c k h a d w o rk e d w it h m y w ife in S t . P e t e rs b u rg . Tru e , I h a d n e v e r m e t h e r p e rs o n a lly , b u t I w a n t e d t o s p e a k t o h e r, a n y w a y , if fo r n o o t h e r re a s o n t h a n t o b e a b le t o w rit e a b o u t it t o m y w ife , w h o h a p p e n e d t o b e in Aro s a a t t h e t im e . I n t h e c o u rs e o f o u r c o n v e rs a t io n , I t o ld Mis s v o n S c h re n c k a b o u t m y t rip a n d a b o u t m y in t e n t io n t o w rit e s o m e t h in g o n Bo ls h e v is m a n d t h e Je w is h q u e s t io n . S h e t o ld m e s h e k n e w a n a u t h o r w h o s h a re d m y b e lie fs a n d w h o p u b lis h e d a m a g a z in e d e v o t e d t o t h e d is c u s s io n o f s u c h p ro b le m s : D ie t ric h Ec k a rt . Th e fo llo w in g d a y I c a lle d o n h im . Th is w a s t h e firs t fa t e fu l c o n t a c t I m a d e in Mu n ic h , Fro m b e h in d a d e s k c o v e re d w it h p a p e rs ro s e a t a ll fig u re . A s h a v e d h e a d , a h ig h , lin e d fo re h e a d , d a rk - rim m e d g la s s e s

s h ie ld in g b lu e e y e s . Th e n o s e s lig h t ly c u rv e d , s o m e w h a t t o o s h o rt a n d fle s h y . A fu ll m o u t h , a b ro a d , ra t h e r b ru t a l c h in . Aft e r a b rie f s a rc a s t ic re m a rk a b o u t Mis s v o n S c h re n c k , w h o m Ec k a rt h a d m e t a t t h e s a n a t o riu m o f h is b ro t h e r- in - la w in Th u rin g ia , h e lis t e n e d t o m e a t t e n t iv e ly . Ye s , h e c o u ld u s e c o n t rib u t o rs lik e m e . He re w a s t h e firs t n u m b e r o f h is m a g a z in e , Au f Gu t D e u t s c h , ( I n P la in Ge rm a n ) . I g a v e h im a fe w a rt ic le s o n m y o b s e rv a t io n s in Ru s s ia . N e x t d a y Ec k a rt c a lle d m e . He lik e d m y s t u ff a n d w a n t e d m e t o c o m e o v e r im m e d ia t e ly . He re c e iv e d m e v e ry c o rd ia lly , a n d t o g e t h e r w e w a lk e d t o t h e re s t a u ra n t Alt W ie n o n Ba y re rs t ra e . On t h e w a y w e t a lk e d o f m a n y t h in g s . I t o ld h im a b o u t m y a rt is t ic in t e re s t s , a n d s u d d e n ly v e e re d o ff in t o a d is c u s s io n o f t h e Go t h ic p e rio d . He s t o p p e d , lis t e n e d c a re fu lly , a n d t h e n b e g a n t o s p e a k a b o u t h is o w n p h ilo s o p h ic a l o p in io n s . Th u s t h e firs t c o n t a c t w a s e s t a b lis h e d . Me re ly b e c a u s e o f t h e p e rs o n a l im p re s s io n I h a d m a d e , Ec k a rt a c c e p t e d m e w h o le h e a rt e d ly , in t ro d u c e d m e t o h is frie n d s , a n d o ffe re d m e , a s t ra n g e r in d ire n e e d , a n o p p o rt u n it y t o w o rk a n d , y e s , e v e n t o liv e . Ec k a rt h a d a c h e q u e re d p a s t . S t u d y in g m e d ic in e , re p o rt in g fo r t h e Fe s t s p ie le a t Ba y re u t h , g o in g h u n g ry in Be rlin , w rit in g c o m e d ie s a n d d ra m a s w h ic h w e re a c t u a lly p e rfo rm e d . His lo v e o f P e e r Gy n t , a n d t h e in a d e q u a c ie s o f e x is t in g in t e rp re t a t io n s a n d t ra n s la t io n s , e n c o u ra g e d h im t o d o a n e x c e lle n t p o e t ic t ra n s la t io n o f h is o w n w h ic h h a d b e g u n t o a p p e a r o n m a n y s t a g e s , b rin g in g in ro y a lt ie s t h a t h e lp e d a lla y s o m e o f h is e a rly fin a n c ia l w o rrie s . Ec k a rt s a w in P e e r Gy n t n o t a N o rw e g ia n a d v e n t u re r, b u t ra t h e r a s y m b o l o f e a rt h - b o u n d m a n a t t e m p t in g t o s h e d h is fe t t e rs . Ed u c a t e d o n Go e t h e a n d S c h o p e n h a u e r, Ec k a rt h a d e n t e re d p u b lic life a s a p o e t . He d id n o t s e e t h e e n t ire c irc u m fe re n c e o f t h e g re a t p ro b le m s , b u t h e d id g ra s p c e rt a in d e t a ils w it h a m a z in g p e rs p ic a c it y . D u rin g t h e Firs t W o rld W a r h e h a d o b s e rv e d d e v e lo p m e n t s , p a rt ic u la rly t h e p ro fit e e rin g t h a t a t e in t o t h e v e ry s u b s t a n c e o f life , w it h n o p o w e r s t ro n g e n o u g h t o c o n q u e r it o r e v e n t o d a m it u p . An d o n t o p o f t h is , a w o rld o f d iffe re n t p a rt ie s w h ic h , in t h e fa c e o f a n e v e r h a rs h e r fa t e , t a lk e d t h e m s e lv e s e v e r fa rt h e r a p a rt in s t e a d o f u n it in g in a c lo s e d fro n t . Th u s h e d e c id e d t o s p e a k u p fo r e v e ry t h in g h e re c o g n is e d a s t ru e re g a rd le s s o f p u b lic o p in io n a n d p a rt y p la t fo rm s . On e n ig h t h e w o k e h is w ife t o t e ll h e r t h a t h e w o u ld fo u n d a m a g a z in e : I 'll c a ll it A u f Gu t D e u t s c h , h e d e c la re d , a n d it w ill s p e a k o p e n ly a n d fra n k ly . His firs t a rt ic le w a s e n t it le d Me n , a n d w a s a d d re s s e d t o a ll w h o s e h o n e s t c o n v ic t io n s w e re s im ila r t o h is . At h is o w n e x p e n s e h e m a ile d o u t 2 5 , 0 0 0 c o p ie s , a n d w a it e d fo r a n e c h o . Th a t w a s a ll h e w a n t e d . Th e re w e re n 't m a n y re s p o n s e s , a s h e a d m it t e d in t h e s e c o n d is s u e , b u t s o m e s y m p a t h e t ic p e rs o n s , t o u c h e d b y h is fra n k n e s s , d id w rit e . Ev e n a lit t le m o n e y t o h e lp c o v e r p rin t in g c o s t s c a m e in .

Fro m h o m e I re ce ive d ra t h e r d is q u ie t in g n e ws . In t h e b e g in n in g t h e Bo ls h e vis t s h a d d e cla re d t h a t e ve ry o n e o f t h e p e o p le s o f Ru s s ia wo u ld h a ve t h e rig h t t o co m p le t e s e lf- d e t e rm in a t io n , in clu d in g t h e rig h t o f s e p a ra t io n . Th e Ba lt ic s t a t e s h a d b e e n fo rm e d . Th o u g h s t ill in s e cu re it s e lf, t h e S o vie t Un io n n o w a t t e m p t e d t o a b s o rb t h e m . Th e p e o p le fo u g h t a g a in s t t h a t ; t h e Fin n s h a d s e n t s o m e t ro o p s t o h e lp Es t o n ia , a n d Ge rm a n y, t o o , h a d o rg a n is e d a Ba lt ic re g im e n t . No w t h e q u e s t io n a ro s e a s t o wh e t h e r I s h o u ld re t u rn . I wro t e t h e Ba lt ic Co m m it t e e in Be rlin d e s crib in g m y s it u a t io n a n d m e n t io n in g t h e fa ct t h a t I h a d t o t a ke ca re o f a s ick wife . I re ce ive d a re p ly t h a t I wo u ld n o t b e n e e d e d .

In Mu n ich a co m m it t e e h a d b e e n fo u n d e d t o h e lp Ge rm a n e m ig r s . Th u s I g o t a fre e ro o m wit h a re t ire d a rm y d o ct o r. He a n d h is wife h a rb o u re d m e m o s t a m ia b ly fo r s o m e t im e , a n d I h a ve a lwa ys re m e m b e re d t h e m g ra t e fu lly.

Ta kin g a lo n g m y o wn s p o o n , I n o w we n t d a ily t o t h e s o u p kit ch e n . On t h e co rn e r o f Th e re s ie n s t ra e a n d a cro s s s t re e t t o Ka u ffin g e rs t ra e m a n y s t e p ch ild re n o f fa t e s a t q u ie t ly, s h o u ld e r t o s h o u ld e r, e a t in g ca b b a g e s o u p wit h d u m p lin g s . Th is h e lp e d s t re t ch m y m e a n s , Occa s io n a lly Die t rich Ecka rt p a id fo r m y a rt icle s , b u t n o t e n o u g h t o s a fe g u a rd m e fo r a n y le n g t h o f t im e . Th a t wa s t h e s it u a t io n s h o rt ly a ft e r I m e t Ecka rt . At a b o u t t h e s a m e t im e a m a n a p p e a re d o n o u r h o rizo n wh o la t e r a cq u ire d s o m e in flu e n ce , t h e e n g in e e r, Go t t frie d Fe d e r. He m a in t a in e d t h a t t h e g re a t e co n o m ic cris e s we re e n t ire ly d u e t o wh a t h e t e rm e d in t e re s t s la ve ry in t o wh ich e ve ry n a t io n in t h e wo rld h a d g ra d u a lly fa lle n b e ca u s e o f m o b ile lo a n a n d fin a n ce ca p it a l. He m a d e a cle a r d is t in ct io n b e t we e n t h a t a n d t h e e a rt h - b o u n d in d u s t ria l ca p it a l wh o s e p ro t e ct io n , h e s a id , wa s d e fin it e ly o n e o f t h e t a s ks o f t h e s t a t e . Ho w co u ld m o n e y m u lt ip ly it s e lf? Ho w co u ld ca p it a l in cre a s e wit h o u t wo rkin g , m e re ly t h ro u g h t h e e n d le s s a ccru in g o f in t e re s t s ? To s a ve , ye s , t h a t wa s t h e re s u lt o f wo rk. Bu t co u p o n - clip p in g , n o ! He n ce , g ra d u a l re o rg a n is a t io n , a n d t h e e ve n t u a l e n d o f in t e re s t s la ve ry a n d t h e e n t ire s ys t e m o f in t e re s t e co n o m y. In t h e s e u n s e t t le d t im e s s u ch a n id e a in t rig u e d a g re a t m a n y p e o p le . S o m e o f h is t h e o rie s we re in d u b it a b ly co rre ct , a n d in fig h t in g u s u ry we h a d , a ft e r a ll, n o in t e n t io n

o f d o in g a wa y wit h a n a t io n a l in d u s t ry. Ecka rt t o o k t h e m u p wit h e n t h u s ia s m a n d p ro cla im e d t h e id e a o f g o ve rn m e n t co n t ro l o f t h e e n t ire cre d it s ys t e m , s a yin g if a n yb o d y p ro t e s t e d t h a t t h is wo u ld ca u s e t h e co lla p s e o f t h e e n t ire wo rld , we ll, t h e n le t t h is wo rld co lla p s e . Fe d e r h im s e lf s p o ke a t m a n y m e e t in g s o f a n o rg a n is a t io n , fo u n d e d b y h im t o a b o lis h in t e re s t s la ve ry, a n d la t e r m a d e co n t a ct wit h t h e g ro win g Na t io n a l S o cia lis t Ge rm a n Wo rke rs ' Pa rt y. Like m a n y o t h e rs wh o co n ce n t ra t e o n a m e re s ym p t o m o f t h e t o t a lit y o f e ve n t s , Fe d e r's d e ve lo p m e n t wa s ra t h e r like t h a t o f a s e ct a ria n wh o co n s id e rs h im s e lf t h e ve ry h u b o f t h in g s . In la t e r ye a rs h is u n fo rt u n a t e co n ce it g o t q u it e o u t o f h a n d , in a s m u ch a s h e ca m e t o b e lie ve h is p ro g ra m wa s t h e ve ry co re o f Na t io n a l S o cia lis m . Th is co n vict io n we n t h a n d in h a n d wit h a n u n p le a s a n t t e n d e n cy t o m a ke a g o o d t h in g o u t o f it b y n o t o n ly a s kin g la rg e fe e s fo r h is s p e e ch e s , b u t b y in s is t in g u p o n p a ym e n t in a d va n ce , s o m e t h in g wh ich t h e e m b a t t le d a n d fre q u e n t ly b ro ke Na t io n a l S o cia lis t Ge rm a n Wo rke rs ' Pa rt y co n s id e re d , t o s a y t h e le a s t , s o m e wh a t s t ra n g e , a n d wh ich g ra d u a lly lo s t h im a ll s ym p a t h y.

Bu t Fe d e r's id e a s t u rn e d o u t t o b e n o t e n t ire ly o rig in a l wh e n s o m e o n e p ro d u ce d a co p y o f Th e o d o r Frit s ch 's Ha m m e r, a m a g a zin e co n t a in in g ve rb a t im , a n d a s e a rly a s 1 9 1 7 , m u ch o f wh a t Fe d e r la t e r p ro m u lg a t e d , wit h o u t b o t h e rin g t o m e n t io n h is s o u rce . In a n y ca s e , t h e s e t h o u g h t s we re s t im u la t in g e n o u g h t o ca u s e t h e e xa m in a t io n o f q u it e a fe w o t h e r t h e o rie s , e ve n t h o u g h , in p ra ct is e , n o cle a r d iffe re n t ia t io n co u ld b e m a d e b e t we e n t h e va rio u s ca p it a lis t ic s ys t e m s . S t ill, t h e re we re t a n g ib le va lu e s in s e p a ra b ly b o u n d u p wit h t h e p e o p le a n d t h e s o il, a n d o t h e rs t h a t we re m u ch m o re m o b ile . Th a t g o ve rn m e n t s u p e rvis io n o f t h e la t t e r wa s n e ce s s a ry s e e m e d o b vio u s t o m a n y o f u s . Th e s e t a lks s p u rre d Ecka rt o n t o p u b lic a ct io n o f h is o wn . He p u b lis h e d a le a fle t , To a ll wo rke rs , in wh ich h e ca lle d t h e m t o a rm s a g a in s t u s u ry, a n d wh ich h e s ig n e d wit h h is fu ll n a m e a n d a d d re s s . He p rin t e d q u it e a la rg e e d it io n , a n d h ire d t wo t a xica b s fro m wh ich we s ca t t e re d t h e m o n t h e s t re e t s o f Mu n ich . S in ce m a n y s u ch p a m p h le t s we re p rin t e d a n d d is t rib u t e d in t h e s e d a ys o f re vo lu t io n a ry fe rm e n t a t io n , Ecka rt a t firs t h a d n o d ifficu lt ie s . In fa ct , wh e n h e wa s a b o u t t o b e a rre s t e d d u rin g t h e R t e re p u b lik ( t h e s h o rt - live d Co m m u n is t re g im e in Mu n ich ) , a n d p la ce d a m o n g t h e h o s t a g e s , t h is p a m p h le t m a y ve ry we ll h a ve s a ve d h is life , fo r h is o wn ja n it o r a n d t h e m e n wh o ca m e t o a rre s t h im d e cla re d wit h o n e a cco rd t h a t t h e a u t h o r o f s u ch a le a fle t co u ld n o t p o s s ib ly b y a re a ct io n a ry. He we n t fre e .

On e d a y I wa s co m in g d o wn t h e s t a irs in K h n 's b o a rd in g - h o u s e , ca rryin g S ch la g in we it 's h u g e t o m e o n In d ia u n d e r m y a rm . S e ve ra l p e o p le s u d d e n ly ca m e ru s h in g in , s h rie kin g t h a t Eis n e r h a d b e e n m u rd e re d . Th e y s a w m e o n t h e s t a irs , o b vio u s ly t o o k m e fo r a re a ct io n a ry s t u d e n t , a n d fo rce d m e t o fo llo w t h e m b a ck t o m y lo d g in g s . Th e re m y n e ig h b o u r, wh o m o n e o f t h e m kn e w, o p e n e d t h e d o o r. Wh o wa s I? Wh y, s o m e o n e wh o q u ie t ly wo rke d fo r h im s e lf a ll d a y. We ll, in t h a t ca s e e ve ryt h in g wa s a ll rig h t . Th e m e n le ft wit h o u t s e a rch in g m y ro o m . If t h e y h a d fo u n d m y t e m p o ra ry id e n t ifica t io n p a p e rs - - t h e Ge rm a n t ra n s la t io n o f a Ru s s ia n p a s s p o rt - - t h e y wo u ld p ro b a b ly h a ve co n s id e re d m e a Wh it e - Ru s s ia n im m ig ra n t , a n d wh a t m ig h t h a ve h a p p e n e d t o m e in t h is h o u r o f g e n e ra l e xcit e m e n t is n o t d ifficu lt t o im a g in e . Du rin g t h e a ft e rn o o n a u t o m o b ile s ca rryin g a rm e d m e n ru s h e d t h ro u g h t h e s t re e t s . Re ve n g e fo r Eis n e r! Ma t t e rs n o w b e g a n t o co m e t o a h e a d in Mu n ich , a ft e r t h e firs t Co m m u n is t ic

u p ris in g h a d b e e n q u e lle d in Be rlin a t Ch ris t m a s t im e . On e d a y we in Mu n ich wo ke t o fin d o u rs e lve s in t h e m id s t o f a Re d re p u b lic. Th e g re a t ra d ica l Ma rxis t u n d e rt a kin g t h a t h a d b e e n s u cce s s fu l in Ru s s ia wa s n o w t o b e re p e a t e d h e re , n o m a t t e r a t wh a t co s t . It wa s a b e a u t ifu l, co o l d a y. Eve rywh e re o n t h e s t re e t s o f Mu n ich we re e n ra g e d g ro u p s , a m o n g t h e m m e n wh o h a d n e ve r b e fo re b e e n vis ib le in t h e ce n t re o f t h e cit y. It wa s t o wa rd e ve n in g . I jo in e d in t h e d is cu s s io n o f a g ro u p o f m e n n e a r t h e Ma rie n p la t z, d e cla rin g t h a t it wa s s h e e r in s a n it y t o b rin g Bo ls h e vis m t o Ge rm a n y. It s vict im s in Ru s s ia it s e lf we re a lre a d y n u m e ro u s e n o u g h . Th e e xcit e m e n t a ll a ro u n d m e wa s g ro win g , a n d s o m e o n e ca lle d fo r a p u b lic d e m o n s t ra t io n o f p ro t e s t . Th e n we fo u n d o u rs e lve s in a win e re s t a u ra n t n e a r t h e o ld Cit y Ha ll, a s kin g fo r a p ie ce o f ca rd b o a rd . Lo n g live t h e Ge rm a n wo rke r! Do wn wit h Bo ls h e vis m ! wa s t h e in s crip t io n . Did I writ e t h a t ? I d o n 't kn o w t o t h is d a y. We le ft t h e re s t a u ra n t . I t o ld t h e e xcit e d m e n t h a t a ll t h is wa s s e n s e le s s . Bu t t h e y in s is t e d t h a t I s im p ly h a d t o s p e a k t o a la rg e r g ro u p o f p e o p le . Th e Ma rie n s u le ( p illa r o f S a in t Ma ry) in fro n t o f t h e Cit y Ha ll is s u rro u n d e d b y a s t o n e b a lu s t ra d e . On t h is lo ve ly cle a r e ve n in g it wa s a ls o s u rro u n d e d b y a fe w t h o u s a n d p e o p le . An d s u d d e n ly I fo u n d m ys e lf a d d re s s in g t h e m , t e llin g t h e m a b o u t m y o b s e rva t io n s in Ru s s ia , a b o u t t h e in s a n it y o f a d vo ca t in g a d ict a t o rs h ip fo r a Ge rm a n y a lre a d y in s u ch je o p a rd y. S o m e a p p la u d e d ; o t h e rwis e , q u ie t a t t e n t io n . I s t e p p e d o ff m y p la t fo rm a n d fo u n d a q u ie t s p o t b e lo w t h e co lo n n a d e s o f t h e Cit y Ha ll. Ne xt t o m e s t o o d a m a n wh o wa n t e d t o kn o w d e t a ils . We ch a t t e d fo r a wh ile . Fro m t h e s t o n e b a lu s t ra d e a ro u n d t h e p illa r s o m e o n e e ls e wa s n o w s p e a kin g in fa vo u r o f t h e s o cia l re vo lu t io n . S lo wly I t u rn e d t o wa rd h o m e . Th e m a n a s ke d m e wh e t h e r h e m ig h t a cco m p a n y m e . Ye s , wh y n o t ? Bu t I b e g a n t o b e s u s p icio u s . In a n y ca s e , I s a id g o o d b ye in fro n t o f a h o u s e d o o r n o t m y o wn , a n d wa it e d fo r a wh ile - - a t t h a t t im e I wa s a lre a d y livin g o n Ot t in g e rs t ra e - - b e fo re I a ct u a lly we n t h o m e . Th e fo llo win g d a y Mrs . Os a n n re p o rt e d t h a t s h e h a d h e a rd t h a t s p e e ch e s a g a in s t t h e R t e re p u b lik h a d b e e n m a d e o n Ma rie n p la t z t h e d a y b e fo re . I co n fe s s e d . Du rin g t h e n e xt fe w d a ys I, wh o wa s co m p le t e ly u n kn o wn in Mu n ich , wa s re p e a t e d ly s a lu t e d o n t h e s t re e t s . In t h e b e g in n in g I fa ile d t o u n d e rs t a n d wh y, b u t t h e n I re m e m b e re d m y s p e e ch , a n d b e g a n t o fe e l s lig h t ly u n co m fo rt a b le . In t h e m e a n t im e Ecka rt , t o o , h a d h a d s o m e d u b io u s a d ve n t u re s , a n d s u g g e s t e d t h a t we le a ve t h e cit y fo r a wh ile . We d ro ve t o Wo lfra t h s h a u s e n in t h e Is a r va lle y. A fe w d a ys la t e r I re t u rn e d t o Mu n ich . Fro m m y h o u s e , I h e a rd t h e b o o m o f ca n n o n in t h e n o rt h e rn s u b u rb s , a n d la t e r wit n e s s e d t h e e n t ry o f t h e lib e ra t in g t ro o p s u n d e r vo n Ep p . A s h o rt wh ile b e fo re , t h e m u rd e r o f t h e h o s t a g e s , t e n o r t we lve m e m b e rs o f t h e Org a n is a t io n Th u le , h a d s h a ke n n o t o n ly Mu n ich b u t a ll o f Ge rm a n y.

Ch ie f o f t h e Mu n ich R t e re p u b lik wa s Do ct o r Le vin , wh o h a d b e e n s e n t t h e re fro m Ru s s ia . Be s id e h im wa s o n e Do ct o r Le vie n .

Le vie n

Le vin Als o a Do ct o r W. Ad le r fro m Au s t ria , wh o wa s m o re o f a ca f Co m m u n is t . An d in a d d it io n , M h s a m a n d To lle r. Fo llo win g t h e e xa m p le s e t b y Ru s s ia , Le vin p la n n e d t o u s e t e rro r. Th e firs t vict im s we re s e le ct e d fro m t h e Org a n is a t io n Th u le , wh ich d e vo t e d it s a t t e n t io n t o e a rly Ge rm a n ic h is t o ry, a n d o p p o s e d Je wry wit h o u t , h o we ve r, b e in g p o lit ica lly a ct ive . Am o n g t h o s e m u rd e re d we re t h e s e cre t a ry o f t h e o rg a n is a t io n , wh o h e ld a s m a ll p o s it io n in t h e p o s t o ffice , a n d o t h e rs - - a ll lit t le p e o p le , n o t o n e ca p it a lis t . Th is wa s t h e firs t t im e in h is t o ry t h a t h o s t a g e s h a d b e e n m u rd e re d in Ge rm a n y; it s h o we d wh a t kin d o f s p irit d o m in a t e d t h e o p p o s it io n . As wa s p ro ve n la t e r, t h is o rig in a l t e rro r wa s t o h a ve b e e n s u cce e d e d co n t in u o u s ly b y m o re t e rro r. Do ct o r Le vin wa s a rre s t e d a n d s h o t . Do ct o r Le vie n m a n a g e d t o e s ca p e . I h a p p e n e d t o b e p re s e n t wh e n , a fe w d a ys b e fo re vo n Ep p 's e n t ra n ce , a s p e a ke r s t a n d in g o n t o p o f o n e o f t h e lio n s in fro n t o f t h e Wit t e ls b a ch Pa la is d e cla re d t h a t it wa s s la n d e r t o cla im t h a t Do ct o r Le vie n h a d a b s co n d e d wit h s t o le n m o n e y. To lle r wa s e ve n t u a lly fo u n d , b u t wa s p a rd o n e d a ft e r h e s e rve d a s h o rt t e rm in ja il. La t e r h e wro t e p la ys a n d wa s a co n t rib u t o r t o t h e Be rlin e r Ta g e b la t t . At t h is t im e o n e An t o n Dre xle r, m e m b e r o f a Ge rm a n Wo rke rs ' Pa rt y, co m p le t e ly u n kn o wn u p t o t h e n , ca lle d o n Die t rich Ecka rt . An d t h is vis it m a rke d t h e t u rn in g p o in t in m y e n t ire life , fro m t h a t o f a p riva t e in d ivid u a l t o t h a t o f a p o lit ica l e n t it y. I d id n o t m e e t Dre xle r o n t h e o cca s io n o f h is firs t ca ll o n Ecka rt . I le a rn e d , h o we ve r, t h a t h e t o ld Ecka rt a Ge rm a n Wo rke rs ' Pa rt y h a d b e e n fo u n d e d in o n e o f Mu n ich 's s u b u rb s . It h a d b e e n s t a rt e d b e ca u s e o f t h e g e n e ra l g ra ft t h a t we n t o n d u rin g t h e wa r, b e ca u s e p e o p le we re d is s a t is fie d wit h o t h e r wo rke rs ' o rg a n is a t io n s a n d we re lo o kin g fo r a n e n t ire ly n e w a p p ro a ch , fa ce d a s t h e y we re wit h t h e g re a t n a t io n a l n e e d . His fe llo w wo rke rs , Dre xle r s a id , h a d re a d o u r a rt icle s , a n d wa n t e d Ecka rt t o s p e a k t o t h e m s o m e t im e . Dre xle r wa s n o t a n y t o o we ll a cq u a in t e d wit h e co n o m ic p ro b le m s , b u t h e wa s a m a n wit h a s im p le , d ire ct h e a rt . As a t o o lm a ke r fo re m a n in o n e o f t h e m a ch in e s h o p s o f t h e Ge rm a n ra ilro a d s , h e h a d p e rs o n a lly e xp e rie n ce d a g re a t m a n y o f t h e s o rro ws a n d ca re s o f t h e Ge rm a n wo rkin g m a n , a n d u n d e rs t o o d t h a t a n y s o lu t io n t o t h e p ro b le m d e p e n d e d u p o n t h e u n it y o f t h e e n t ire p e o p le . La t e r h e d e s crib e d h is ca re e r in a m o d e s t lit t le b o o k, My p o lit ica l a wa ke n in g . He d id n 't t h in k ve ry m u ch o f t h e o ld p a rt ie s , n o r d id t h e Re ich s t a g s e e m t o h o ld o u t m u ch h o p e fo r s o cia l re b irt h . Eve ryt h in g s e e m e d t o b e b o g g e d d o wn . An d t h o s e wh o p re a ch e d re vo lt m e re ly co lle ct e d b a n d s o f t h e d e s p a irin g a ro u n d t h e m wit h o u t g ivin g a t h o u g h t t o t h e o n e n e s s o f fa t e . Wh a t t o d o ? Dre xle r wa s g e n u in e ly wo rrie d . He wa s a t a ll m a n wit h a we lls h a p e d h e a d . Fro m b e h in d h is s p e ct a cle s h is e ye s fre q u e n t ly lo o ke d o u t in h o n e s t d e s p a ir. On e o f t h e m a n y, m a n y t h o u s a n d s s e a rch in g fo r a wa y o u t o f t h e ch a o s ,

t h o u g h t h e y o ft e n s t o o d o n o p p o s it e s id e s o f t h e b a rrica d e s . Th e y we re wo rkin g m e n wh o fe lt ch e a t e d ; s o ld ie rs o f t h e Fre e Co rp s t o rn lo o s e fro m a ll t h e o ld t ra d it io n s ; o ffice rs wh o h a d lo s t t h e ir s u p re m e co m m a n d e r; s t u d e n t s d e s iro u s o f a fu t u re , a n d s o m e n a t io n a lis t ic writ e rs .

Aft e r s o m e t im e I h e a rd a b o u t o n e Ad o lf Hit le r wh o h a d jo in e d t h e Ge rm a n Wo rke rs ' Pa rt y a n d wa s m a kin g re m a rka b le s p e e ch e s . He , t o o , ca lle d o n Ecka rt , a n d d u rin g o n e o f t h e s e vis it s I m e t h im . Th is m e e t in g ch a n g e d m y e n t ire p e rs o n a l fa t e a n d m e rg e d it wit h t h e fa t e o f t h e Ge rm a n n a t io n a s a wh o le . Mu n ich it s e lf b e ca m e t h e fo ca l p o in t o f t h e n e w p o lit ica l m o ve m e n t le d b y Hit le r.

Eve ryt h in g t h a t I h a d u p t o t h e n t h o u g h t , s e e n , le a rn e d a n d d o n e , h a d , a ft e r a ll, b e e n e g o ce n t ric. Pra ct is in g m y a rt h a d e n rich e d m e , a n d h a d s h a rp e n e d m y fa cu lt y t o d iffe re n t ia t e b e t we e n t h e g e n u in e a n d t h e im it a t ive . Th e s t u d y o f h is t o ry a n d p h ilo s o p h y h a d b ro u g h t a b o u t a wid e n in g o f t h e h o rizo n a n d , in s p it e o f a ll g a p s , a n u n q u e n ch a b le d e s ire fo r, a n d a p e rs is t e n t in n e r co m p u ls io n t o wa rd , fru it io n . My ca re fre e yo u t h h a d la id t h e g ro u n d wo rk fo r e xp e rie n ce s b e yo n d t h e m e re ly s u b je ct ive ; t h e co m ra d e s h ip o f m y s t u d e n t d a ys h a d m a d e it im p o s s ib le fo r m e t o s t a n d a p a rt a s a m e re t h e o ris t . On t o p o f a ll t h is ca m e t h e in flu e n ce o f t h e va rie g a t e d wo rld a ro u n d m e : t h e n a t io n a l t e n s io n in m y h o m e la n d , t h e g e n e ro s it y o f S t . Pe t e rs b u rg , t h e q u ie t u d e o f o u r fo re s t s a n d t h e b e a u t y o f t h e s e a , t h e s t irrin g u p o f g re a t e r p o s s ib ilit ie s b y t h e wa r, t h e s t ra n g e n e s s o f Mo s co w, t h e h u g e s p a ce in t h e Ea s t . Th e n t h e Ge rm a n o ccu p a t io n , t h e co lla p s e , t h e jo u rn e y in t o t h e Re ich , a n d t h e t a t t e re d p ict u re o f t h e Ge rm a n p e o p le . My m e e t in g wit h Ecka rt h a d a lre a d y co n s t it u t e d a n e m e rg e n ce fro m t h e n a rro w co n fin e s o f t h e e xp e rie n cin g e g o ; b u t wh a t e ve r I h a d s a id o r writ t e n s o fa r h a d , a ft e r a ll, b e e n d o n e wit h a n d fo r a s m a ll g ro u p . On ly a s lig h t ly e n la rg e d re a d in g circle h a d , s o t o s p e a k, p a rt icip a t e d . Tru e , m o re a n d m o re p e o p le jo in e d Ecka rt , a n d in a ll like lih o o d h e wo u ld h a ve ke p t o n co lle ct in g a n e ve r g ro win g g ro u p o f fo llo we rs a ro u n d h im s e lf. Bu t Ecka rt wa s e s s e n t ia lly a p o e t , a co n fe s s o r ra t h e r t h a n t h e s h a p e r o f a p o lit ica l m o ve m e n t . Be s id e s , t h e re a lwa ys ca m e , a ft e r d a ys fu ll o f e n e rg y, t h e s e p a u s e s d u rin g wh ich h e re t re a t e d in t o h im s e lf, s im p ly re fu s in g t o co n s id e r o u t wa rd o ccu rre n ce s im p o rt a n t e n o u g h , wh ile h e wro t e p o e m s a b o u t t h e m o s t b e a u t ifu l a n d d e lica t e t h in g s ( a s , fo r e xa m p le , Gr n e wa ld 's Alt a r, ECCE DEVS ) . An d I wa s , a ft e r a ll, a s t ra n g e r in Ba va ria . Ecka rt h im s e lf h a d a cce p t e d m e wit h o u t q u e s t io n , a s h a d h is frie n d s . Bu t I h a d in h ib it io n s . Tru e , I h a d co m e t o wo rk s o m e h o w fo r Ge rm a n y a n d co u ld n o t u n d e rs t a n d h o w o t h e rs d a re d co m e t o t h is la n d t o e n g a g e in d e s t ru ct ive a ct ivit ie s ; ye t e ve n t h e n I fe lt t h a t I s t ill d id n 't h a ve t h e fu ll rig h t t o s p e a k p u b licly. Be s id e s , I wa s n o t ye t a Ge rm a n cit ize n . S o o n a ft e r m y a rriva l I h a d m a d e a n a p p lica t io n t o b e a d m it t e d t o cit ize n s h ip a n d p e rm it t e d t o s t a y o n in Mu n ich . A g e n t le m a n a t t h e Cit y Ha ll q u e s t io n e d m e . He wa s p rim a rily in t e re s t e d in kn o win g wh e t h e r I wa s we a lt h y. Wh e n I s a id n o , h e g re w n o t ice a b ly co o le r a n d d e cla re d t h a t , a ft e r a ll, Mu n ich wa s cro wd e d a n d I co u ld re a lly live ju s t a s we ll s o m e wh e re e ls e in Ba va ria . Th is s h o cke d m e p a rt icu la rly b e ca u s e m y le a vin g Mu n ich wo u ld h a ve d e p rive d m e o f a ll o p p o rt u n it ie s , a n d wo u ld h a ve p u t t h e Go ve rn m e n t Lib ra ry b e yo n d m y re a ch . I t o ld t h e o fficia l t h a t I h a d t o wo rk co n s t a n t ly a t t h e lib ra ry t o fin is h a b o o k fo r t h e p u b lis h in g h o u s e o f J. F. Le h m a n n . An d e ve n t h o u g h h e d id n 't s e e m t o like t h a t n a m e m u ch , h e d e cla re d t h a t , u n d e r t h e

circu m s t a n ce s , h e d id n 't wa n t t o in t e rfe re wit h a n y ch a n ce s I m ig h t h a ve . Bu t h e wa n t e d s o m e p ro o f. No w, I h a d a ct u a lly ca lle d o n t h e firm o f J. F. Le h m a n n a n d h a d t a lke d t o Mr. S ch wa rt z, a p a rt n e r. He h a d re a d a m a n u s crip t o f m in e o n Bo ls h e vis m , a n d h a d s p o ke n a b o u t t h e p o s s ib ilit y o f p u b lis h in g it in t h e ir m a g a zin e , Ge rm a n y's Re n e wa l. No w h e wa s kin d e n o u g h t o g ive m e a le t t e r co n firm in g t h e fa ct t h a t I wa s wo rkin g wit h t h e ir h o u s e , a n d s o I wa s a llo we d t o s t a y o n in Mu n ich . On t h is t h in t h re a d o f p e rm is s io n b y a n a ld e rm a n h u n g m y e n t ire fa t e a t t h a t t im e . Ho we ve r, I h a d n o t b e co m e a cit ize n , a fa ct wh ich h a m p e re d m e d a ily in t h e co u rs e o f t h e firs t fe w ye a rs . It wa s n 't u n t il 1 9 2 3 t h a t m y a p p lica t io n , t h a n ks t o s o m e frie n d ly in t e rce s s io n , wa s fa vo u ra b ly a ct e d u p o n . Up t o t h e n I co u ld e a s ily h a ve b e e n d e p o rt e d a s a n u n d e s ira b le a lie n . Th e fa ct t h a t a Do ct o r Le vin co u ld co m e fro m S t . Pe t e rs b u rg o r Mo s co w t o t a ke o ve r co m m a n d o f a Co m m u n is t ic re vo lu t io n u p s e t m e m o re t h a n it d id t h e Ba va ria n p e o p le . Bu t t h is d id n o t le s s e n m y d e s ire t o wo rk fo r t h e Re ich in s p it e o f m y o wn la ck o f le g a l s t a t u s . Ne ve rt h e le s s I re fu s e d t o writ e u n d e r a p s e u d o n ym , s o m e t h in g Ecka rt - - wh o h a d jo kin