A CHILD’S SELF CONCEPT

A CHILDS SELF CONCEPT

A CHILDS SELF CONCEPTWhat do you want for your child?List 2 characteristics you want your child to have, goals for them, or values to teach themWhy is this important to have?How do you plan to provide it for them?NO NAMES on the paper

THE AVERAGE CHILD

I dont cause teachers trouble. My grades have been O.K.I listen in my classes.And Im in school every day.My parents think Im average.My teachers think so, too.I wish I didnt know that,Cause theres lots Id like to do.Id like to build a rocket-Ive a book that show you how-Or start a stamp collection. Well, no use in trying now.Cause since Ive found Im average,Im just smart enough, you see,To know theres nothing specialThat I should expect of me.Im part of that majority,That hump part of the bell,Who spends his life unnoticedIn an average kind of hell.3

What do you want for your child?Be careful what your message portrays.What was this child missing or not being given?How did it affect him?Labels can be so destructive. Children and adults , classrooms, in homes, and on the street will prove the label true and the children will believe it. A shy child will see no reason not to be shy; a stupid child certainly cant be smart; a clumsy child will continue to fall over his own feet; a gifted child will usually excel. Listen to our own words. We must help every child reach his or her fullest potential. Why is it so important to build up a child instead of tear them down?They have so much to learn and to risk. They need the confidence to know that they can do it or try it and not do it well and still be okay.4MatchResponsive to children's needs.Indifferent to children, ignore themReject their childrenCritical, derogatory, dissatisfied with their children.Warm, understanding and accepting.

Hostile and antisocialPoor self-control, difficulty with social interactions when teenagers.Compliant with parents wishes Happy and friendlyDissatisfied with themselves.Children become what they are told they are.5Matching KeyResponsive to children's needs.Indifferent to children, ignore themReject their childrenCritical, derogatory, dissatisfied with their children.Warm, understanding and accepting.

Hostile and antisocialPoor self-control, difficulty with social interactions when teenagers.Compliant with parents wishes Happy and friendlyDissatisfied with themselves.6Analyze and Discuss How each style will affect the child'sSelf-ConceptDecision making abilityRelationship with peersRelationship with family7Authoritarian: Limits without FreedomParents word is law, parents have absolute control. Misconduct is punishedAffection and praise are rarely giveParents try to control children's behavior and attitudesThey value unquestioned obedienceChildren are told what to do, how to do it, and where to do it, and when to do it.8Outcomes of Authoritarian StyleObedientDistrustfulDiscontent WithdrawnUnhappyHostileNot High AchieversOften RebelChildren from authoritarian homes are so strictly controlled, either by punishment or guilt, that they are often prevented from making a choice about a particular behavior because they are overly concerned about what their parents will do or say.9Permissive: Freedom without limits.Parents allow their children to do their own thing.Little respect for order and routine.Parents make few demands on children.Impatience is hidden.Discipline is laxParents are resources rather than standard makersRarely punishNon controlling, non-demandingUsually warmChildren walk all over the parents10Outcome of Permissive ParentingAggressiveLeast self-reliantLeast self-controlLeast exploratoryMost unhappy

Children from permissive homes receive so little guidance that they often become uncertain and anxious about whether they are doing the right thing.

11Democratic: Freedom within limitsParents set limits and enforce the rulesStress freedom along with rights of others and responsibilities of all Willing to listen receptively to childs requests and questions.Provides both love and limitsChildren contribute to discussion of issues and make some of their own decisionsExert firm control when necessary, but explain reasoning behind it.Respect childrens interest, opinions, unique personalities.Loving, consistent, demandingCombine control with encouragementReasonable expectations and realistic standards.12Outcomes of Democratic StyleHappyMost self-reliantMost self-controlContent, friendly, generousCooperativeHigh-achieverLess likely to be seriously disruptive or delinquentChildren whose parents expect them to perform well, to fulfill commitments, and to participate actively in family duties, as well as family fun, learn how to formulate goals. They also experience the satisfaction that comes from meeting responsibilities and achieving success

Parenting Style SCENARIOS13Doing next time, but give ideasIn groups of three or four develop a comic strip, case study, or story that fits each parenting style.Groups pass their stories to other groups and have them read them to see if they can identify the parenting style.14Building a Childs Self -EsteemWays to help your child develop and maintain their self-esteem.

JENGA GroupVERY GOOD 1515Provide more successes than failures for the child.Plan successes.If they have more failures than successes, back up to where success is achieved, and then move ahead gradually.Help the child perceive him/herself as successful.Provide practice to improve skills.1616Give them freedom to fail with acceptance.As long as there are more successes than failures, children learn to not let a few failures get them down.A child who is over-protected and not allowed to fail will learn to try only if success is guaranteed.1717Give lots of encouragement.Recognize the effort and improvement, not just the final accomplishment.I know you can do itYou handled that really wellYou will make it next timeShow appreciation. Thanks, you were a big help1818Give unconditional love.Let child know that even if you do not approve of their behavior, you still love them.Accept children as they are, not as they could be.Respect your child.Show them how much you care about them.1919Allow independence.Let them do things for themselves.Let them work through a problem.Give them choices as early as possible.2020Eliminate the negative.Tell children what they can do, not what they cannot do.Catch them doing something good more often than what they are doing wrong.2121Do not set standards unreasonably high.They dont have to be 100% all the time.Know their abilities and work within those abilities.Children are not miniature adults.Do not over-estimate their maturity.2222Avoid ridicule.Be careful of nicknames.Do not make fun of them, especially in front of others.2323Allow exploration and encourage questions.Let them explore their environment.Give them a chance to see cause and effect, such as what happens when a rock is dropped in water. . .2424Set limits.Set limits, it gives them security.2525Help your child develop their talents.Every child needs to feel that they are good at something. Give them encouragement and opportunities to try new things.Encourage their talents, not the ones you wish they had.2626Take their ideas, emotions and feelings seriously.Do not belittle them by saying things like, That is nothing to cry over, or Youll get over it.2727Be a good role model.Improve your own self-image. Let your children see that you value yourself.Let your children see you make mistakes, learn from them, and try again.2828Give your children responsibility.Give them chores that are appropriate for their age.Give them family jobs so that they feel valued and important to the family.2929Be available.Give them support when they need it.Spend time together. Work, talk and share activities together.

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