1 Proven approaches for successful outcomes 3 -Steps to Becoming a LearningSuccess Coach every time & on purpose! TM.

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Proven approaches for successful outcomes

3-Steps to

Becoming a LearningSuccess

Coach—every time & on purpose!

TM

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Communication is like an umbrella that covers everything we do.—Virginia Satir

Needs-Based Communication

The 3rd Essential Coaching Skill

™

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…and everything we know.

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At any given moment you have the choice to

Respond or React

What you choose determines the outcome of your interactions!

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I’m right!

Are you feeling upset because you want moreconsideration at a time

like this?

I want my way!

You’re wrong!

I want to makea connection with

this person.I want

my way!

—Marshall Rosenberg

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Responsive Interaction is 1) the result of intense emotions & conscious choice2) a strategy for seeing, listening, speaking, thinking,

& acting tomeet the most needs possiblefor the most people (yourself & others)

3) focused inwardlyLook & listen for needsIdentify needsStrategize & take action to

meet needs

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Reactive Interaction is 1) usually the result of intense emotions 2) A strategy for seeing, listening, speaking,

thinking, and acting, to meet one’s own needs of the moment

3) Focused on the behavior of othersLooks & listens for who is “right” or “wrong”Identifies “who is to blame or praise”Rewards & punishes

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Responsive Interaction

Recognizes that all human action is an attempt to meet a vital human need.

All that any of us is ever doing—every minute of every day,

year after year—is attempting to fulfill our needs.

We don’t leave any of our needs behind when we go to school

or sit down to study.

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Focusing on needs helps you:

Get to the root of WHY people do what they do.

Find POSITIVE ways to HELP the person & the situation.

Practice consideration & respect & leaveeveryone’s dignity intact after every interaction.

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Survival

food & water & shelter

Safety

protection & security

Needs include:

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• Belonging - love, affection, warmth, & understanding

• Power “with” others - respect, competency, & consideration

• Fun - play & entertainment

• Autonomy - choice, & self-determination 12

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Everyone on the planet

has the same needs.Video games are not a need.A Ferrari is not a need.

A trip to Paris is not a need.

These are all strategies to meet needs for entertainment, transportation, fun, relaxation, learning.

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Defensiveness • Aggressiveness • Depression

Anxiousness • Upset • Irritation, ETC.

or we think they are not likely to be met, our natural response is:

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Seriously affects & Often prevents

Environments that instill/support fear leave people bitter, crushed, bruised, battered, desolate, despondent, dejected, feeling inferior, depressed, …unfit for work. —W. Edwards Deming

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State-Specific Learning

You may be teaching much more than you realize or intended.

• The emotional state you & your studentsare in when you teach & they learn is imprinted in the learner along with the information being learned.

• When children retrieve the information the stored emotions automatically return.

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The Learning Zones

• Thinking, reasoning, & learning take place in the frontal lobes of the brain—the learning zones.

• Under conditions of anxiety, fear & emotional stress, the learning zones automatically shut down.

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What Shuts Down the Learning Zones?

• Criticism, blame, & negative judgments

• Accusations, threats, & labeling

• Lectures, arguments, rewards & punishment

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Why/How Do the Learning Zones Shut Down ?

• The learning zones shut down because the brain associates the emotion of fear with danger.

• When we perceive danger the brain automatically shuts down unnecessary functions & prepares us

to fight, flee, or freeze.

• In this “downshifted state”, learning is very difficult,so students resort to “protecting” themselves.

It is estimated that 30% of the nation’s children come to school in a “downshifted” state.

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To Keep the Learning Zones Open & in Business

• Defuse your hot buttons

• Reframe your judgments

• Celebrate participation as well as products & performance

• Practice Responsive Interaction

• Use the Essential Coaching Skills

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Learning Environments that instill FEAR & DISTRUST

put students

at risk for Learning Failure!

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Fear results in conflict of many kinds

• Resistance • Disagreements

• Arguments • Tiffs • Spats • Fights • Wars

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Responsive Interaction

Focuses on NEEDS, drives out fear, minimizes conflict & maximizes

LEARNING!!

No one can put in his/her best performance unless s/he feels secure.

W. Edwards Deming

—W. Edwards Deming

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Is a Choice to Engage

Fear-Based Thinking & the action we take from there

Puts LearningSuccess at risk!

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Is a Choice to Engage

Needs-Based Thinking & the action we take from there

Contributes to LearningSuccess!

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Proven approaches for successful outcomes

3-Steps to

Becoming a LearningSuccess

Coach—every time & on purpose!

TM